2002-2003part2

Skating Journal
2002-2003 Season Part 2

December 30, 2003
The show is over and it is time to "Think Spring". With spring comes competitiond, and that means programs! My artistic progam is choreographed, but I don't really like it, so it is going to have to be changed a bit. My freeskate program is half choreographed. I decided to do a Spanish progam this year. However, the music is truely Mexican, not Spanish. It is a fun program so far and Lacey (my 17 year old choreographer) is really challenging me - which is good, I can always cut back later, but it is better to try and make it challenging - who knows, maybe I will pull it off!

The bet to do an Axel by Dec. 31 was acheived, but nobody saw me. Since it was over Christmas Break, everyone was gone - in fact it didn't really feel like I did it at all, since there was nobody there to share it with me. It doesn't count towards the bet unless my coach or our resident judge sees it - so I am probably not going to make it.

January 15, 2003 - THE ELUSIVE AXEL HAS BEEN CAUGHT!
I got it!!!! After some time in the harness with my coach, on the third try after the harness was off, I landed a beautiful Axel right in front of him. I was standing there for about 3 seconds before I realized I was still standing and it was on one skate!!! I screamed - of course, and ran to my coach and hugged him!! That was on Monday, Jan. 6. I landed 1-2 axels everyday until Friday. I tried again on Sunday and crashed and burned - badly. I thought I had injured myself. My lesson on Monday I was nervous to try the Axel, so into the harness I went, and afterwards I landed 7 Axels!!! Whoo weee, I even landed two in a row - twice. Learning new things is one of the reasons skating is so addicting - the feeling of finally getting something you have been practicing for months is just incredible.

February 3, 2003 - Ouch!
I am in PAIN! It seems everything in my body is screaming at me - telling me beating myself up at skating is ridiculous! But I will not listen! Yesterday I sprained my little toe by gracefully walking into a wall. I can hardly walk but I still went to my lesson! Such detication I have! Two weeks ago I badly hurt my right knee, a week ago I hurt my back and I still have not repaired all of the damage from the repeated abuse I suffered while trying to land my first Axel. I am a walking wounded and it finally caught up to me today. While doing a simple three turn I fell down onto my left knee. That was all it took for my eyes to fill up with tears. The culmination of many small injuries had gotten the best of me. My coach seemed a little uncomfortable faced with a grown woman with eyes full of tears. But, I quickly got up and ended the lesson with three Axels in a row - A first! So, I guess the day was not so bad after all. I stepped off the ice, removed my skates and limped out to my car, proclaiming, "I can't walk, but I can skate!"

February 6, 2003 - Being Put Back Together Again
Two days ago I suffered another painful fall. This time while trying to perform a Camel Spin I took a wild fall and knew I had hurt my neck. My body fell and it seemed my head came after my body and I could hear my neck crack. In my unprofessional opinion, I had whiplash. I was in terrible pain and could visibly see one side of my neck was larger than the other. Now, I knew there was something overall wrong with me. I seemed to have lost all sence of balance and was constantly falling and injuring myself. I just did not feel right and with this new neck injury I knew I had to do something.

Prior to moving to Wyoming I was seeing a Chiropracter on a regular basis, however when I moved here the insurance I had would not cover the Chiropractor. This year my insurance changed and since I could claim that I was seeing the Chiropractor due to an injury, it would be covered. So, off I went to get put back together again. I beleive that a Chiropractor should treat your entire body, not just your spine and neck, and so I was referred to this Dr., because of his methods being inline with my beliefs. It turned out to be a fabulous experience and not only was I cured of my whiplash in short order, I was also put back into alignment and balance. It is amazing what a difference that makes. I will see the Dr. again just before my competition to make sure I am "in tune".

March 3, 2003 - An Assessment
At this point in the season I have to assess how far I have come to attaining my goals, what I still need to accomplish before the end of the season and prior to the competition and ask myself if skating is still something I want to do.

Sadly, last week I had a terrible skate day at which I was just not enjoying skating. This is sad for me because skating is my hobby and it is something I do because I love it and it is fun. However, when skating is no longer fun, I need to make some changes. I have to change my personal expectations and the goals I have laid out for this season. I need to realize that because of my work schedule and limited ice time that I may not be able to accomplish as much as I had hoped for. So, I have made some changes. The goals I set out at the beginning of the season, were fine goals, but I need to realize that they will not all be met and that I still have the rest of my life to reach them - the beauty of adult skating is you realize that there is no hurry - you have your entire life to skate.

I had initially hoped to test in both the Silver and Gold Level Adult Moves in the Field, but since changed that to only Silver, and now I must say that there is very little chance that I will pass the Silver Moves, so I think I will not test at all this spring, freeing me up for more concentration of my programs. I am well aware of the value of learning Moves, but when I am spending so much money to go compete in Michigan, I feel I need to dedicate my time to make the best showing possible there. I had hoped to focus more on Moves this year, but it just did not happen. Perhaps if I could find an extra three hours per week to practice this, it would be different, also I could not afford additional lessons for learning Moves. I had to make sacrifices, and so I did. I still feel guilty though, if one can't tell by my constant justifications I have made in this journal entry.

I also have to begin making changes in programs. It is now time to decide what will and will not remain in my programs. If I could not get the element by this point, it must go and be replaced by something easier.
So, now that I have made these changes I feel more at ease and more focused on what is important. Of course, having fun and enjoying skating is what should be at the heart of this, but when one is so focused and goal oriented, some of the joy can be temporarily absent. I have come to accept this, because what I want is a great performance at Nationals, and if I do not work very hard for this, I will not have joy when I do terribly at the competition. However, if I work extremely hard, sacrificing now, I can be happy with my performance at Nationals, nomatter the placement, because I know I have done all that I can to prepare for that. Only 12 days until the Jackson Hole Invitational - and 37 until Nationals.