S & M Freak Out
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This one is a classic. It will entertain those around you, teach you "tough love" lessons in skateboarding, and possibly put you in the clinic if you don't chill out. The S and M approach is inspired by characters such as the one Michael Douglas played in the movie Falling Down, or the dude in Fight Club. Here's what to do. You are "the weird kid" skating a spot, minding your business, when, for example, you sense a vibe from another skater, as though you are under some pressure to perform beyond the range of your talent. In the blink of an eye, the S and M show explodes, and you are the star. You must begin by punching yourself repeatedly about the head and chest, while screaming uncontrollably. Next, plunge yourself to the ground and writhe uncontrollably, as if in the throes of an exorcism. Disregard your skateboard entirely, due to its having nothing whatsoever to do with your freaking out. You are a tortured soul and not long for this world.
