Part One of Broken

 Prologue

 

Kyra Deveraux walked through the aisle of gravestones on that cold November day, barely thinking at all.  Her feet took her exactly where she needed to go, so her mind had no need to be in working order.  Not that it would be anyway.  She hadn’t been able to think straight since that night, the one night that had changed her world forever.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way… she thought, the tears mercilessly welling up in her eyes.  She hated to cry, but she wasn’t able to control it this time.  This time was different.  She no longer had her support, her protector, her best friend.  The only one in the world she could ever count on was gone now.  It cut through her heart like a knife every second that she continued on, knowing that she would live without him in.  She would never see him at work, she would no longer get the early morning wake-up calls, she wouldn’t fall to the floor laughing as hard as she used to.  Every step she took tore her apart more than she had been before.

Kyra had been unable to go to the funeral itself.  She couldn’t stand to sit there and watch people who barely even knew him pretend that they had been so great of friends.  It drove her nuts how everyone would idolize him and act like he had been the greatest guy who ever lived.  She had known he was flawed, but she had loved him anyway.  His parents, she knew for a fact, had sat in the church and cried as though they had truly loved him, when they had been the cause of his pain.  They had thrown him out on the streets, telling him that they couldn’t stand him, just to end up at his funeral acting as though they had cared so much.

She had stood outside of the gates at the cemetery that day, waiting for the funeral procession to leave so she could say goodbye to him.  She had watched as the flood of people in black stood next to the casket and set flowers on it.  Standing on the sidelines was hard for her, since they had been best friends ever since she could remember.  But she knew she had to, she couldn’t stand to hear the empty words about his life, or to listen to everyone talk about the things they had done with him.  It hurt enough to wake up that morning, knowing that he was gone and she would never hear his beautiful laughter on the end of the line, telling her to get her ass out of bed and meet him for breakfast.  Nothing would be the same again.

She hadn’t been able to make her feet move to his grave on that day.  The pain was just too much for her, tearing her soul apart.  She had just sat outside the cemetery for two days, trying to gain the courage to go in.  It had been a futile fight at that point though.  She hadn’t been able to even get herself to eat, let alone see where she knew he was buried.

As Kyra neared the hole in the ground where her friend lay, she almost broke down.  It had been a week since the funeral, and the grass on top of his casket was greener than it was anywhere else.  Flowers lay scattered by the wind all over; the petals being lifted and raining slowly back down, dancing in the wind.  His was the best grave around, overlooking the bay area.  She was surprised as she read the gravestone:

 

Jeremiah Peter Nichols

December 8, 1985-April 17, 2006

Think not disdainfully of death,

But look on it with favor;

For even death is one of the things

That Nature wills

~Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

 

Kneeling down in front of it, she gently set the single white rose she had been gripping down, ignoring the tiny prickles of blood forming where the thorns had dug into her palm.  “Oh Jem,” she whispered, allowing one tear to roll down her cheek for a moment before she shoved it away.  “Why did it have to be like this?”

She placed her hand on the cold stone, sighing softly.  She hated this.  “How am I supposed to live without you?  What am I supposed to do?  We had so many plans, so much to do…how could you leave me like this?”

Kyra shoved the strand of deep red hair off her face, feeling her emotions well up.  She didn’t know if she could take it, being there without him.  She didn’t want to face the world without her best friend.

She knew that she was waiting for an answer from him, even though there was no way she would get one.  “Jem, I miss you…I can’t do this without you,” she whispered.  “I will find you one day…wait for me…”

She slowly stood up, not wanting to leave.  She wanted to lie on his grave forever, just so she could be at least slightly close to him.  She missed him with every part of her, feeling as though her soul was crying out to him, just to receive no answer.  She would never feel him close to her again.

Forcing herself to turn, it took every ounce of strength she had left to walk away.  She didn’t want to.  She wanted to stay, to find a way to be with him.  But she had promised him that she would continue on, that she wouldn’t follow him this time.  And she knew she had to keep her promise to him.  Reaching up slowly, she felt the talisman that hung around her neck and rubbed it for strength.  She had given him that talisman on his tenth birthday, and he had never taken it off since.  The night he died, she had grabbed it before the police came.  She knew that his parents or someone would take it, and she didn’t want that.  Give me strength, she said the silent prayer.  Please, give me strength to make it through this!

Kyra found herself at the gates of the cemetery without even realizing she had gone so far.  She glanced over her shoulder once, to the little spot on the top of the hill, right on the drop off to the bay.  He has a great view at least, she mused as she watched the sun slowly disappear over the hill, the colors remaining.  Turning around, she continued on towards the busy road, ignoring the people giving her strange looks as they passed by her.  The world moved on, even though he was gone.  It hurt, more than anything she had ever known.  Getting in her car, she drove off, pretending not to hear the horn from the guy she had cut off.  She knew she needed to get out of there.  They would be coming for her soon, they would have heard by now that she was in town and would be looking for her.  She needed to start over, to move on.  She couldn’t live there anymore anyway, seeing every place that she had been with Jem.  It would have ended up killing her, knowing she would never see his face where she had always seen it.  Blinking back the tears, she shut off the phone that had been ringing nonstop since Jem had died in her arms.  Her shirt was still covered in blood, not that she noticed it.  She knew she would have to change eventually, but not now.  Now she needed to pack up and leave this place and everything she had ever known behind her.  If she didn’t she was going to be joining Jem a lot sooner than she had planned.

 Chapter One

 

Kyra slowed down the car as she neared her new house, finally allowing the poor drivers of the moving trucks to catch up a little.  She pulled into the driveway and got out, looking at her new place.  It was definitely big enough, being two stories tall with an underground basement.  She knew that the first thing to do would be to find every possible hiding place and every exit in the house.  She hoped she would never have to use them, but it was safer to know.  She went to the back of her car and began to pull out the few things that she had wanted with her.  She didn’t trust the movers and she didn’t want to lose her favorite things.  She just set them on the ground for now.  She didn’t feel too safe outside, exposed as she was, but she also enjoyed the feeling of the sun beaming down on her.  She wanted to enjoy it while she could, while she knew no one knew where she was yet.  Closing her eyes, she sighed sadly.

 

“Kyra,” she heard a faded voice calling her.  She ignored it, just staring down at her dead friend.  Her grip on his body tightened as she leaned over it and sobbed.

“Kyra!” Nico shouted from behind her, jerking her out of her daze.  She shot up, looking around, realizing where she was.  The warehouse was booming with noise, startling her.  Nico ran up behind her and yanked her up, forcing her to drop Jem’s body to the ground.  Jem’s necklace tore off his neck due to her tight grip on it as he fell.  “Kyra, listen to me!  This piece of paper has directions on it, go there and wait for me…do not look back, you hear me?”

Kyra looked up at her friend, his face blurred by the tears in her eyes.  “Nico-“

“No!  You have to go now; they’re coming back with reinforcements.  If you don’t leave, you’re gonna end up like Jem,” Nico interrupted, shaking her.  “You have to go, now!”

He gave her a shove towards the door.  “Please Kyra…” he pleaded when she didn’t move.  “Please, I can’t take losing you too…”

Never taking her eyes off of Jem’s lifeless body, she slowly backed towards the door.  “Nico…”

“I’ll come for you, I promise,” he jumped towards her and hugged her tightly, then gave her another shove.  “Find Azra and take her with you!”

With that, he pushed her to the door.  She turned and took off running, dodging into an alley when she saw the headlights coming towards her.  Just as she started climbing the wall, there was a flash of light, a huge explosion.  Dropping, she cried out, “No!!!”

The flames were higher than the buildings she was hiding between, engulfing the warehouse she had just come from.  “Jem!” she cried.  “Nico!!”

 

“Kyra?” she heard Azra say, pulling her back into the present.  “You okay?”

Kyra nodded slowly, opening her eyes.  “Sorry,” she whispered. 

Azra gently guided her into the house, saying, “Let the movers get those, hunny, you need to come inside.”

Kyra allowed Azra to pull her inside, feeling the stares of their new neighbors.  “I suppose I should change, huh?” she said, forcing a small smile for Azra.

“Yeah, the bloody shirt is great and all, matches the blood in your hair, you know?  But it will prolly weird people out and just call attention to us,” Azra grinned at her.

Kyra had picked Azra Casimir up a few minutes after she had left the cemetery, telling her to bring a few small things, and leave everything else behind.  Kyra didn’t want to be traced.  Nico, Azra’s cousin, had already ordered furniture for them to be delivered to the house as they got there.  

“Do you think Nico and Alexi are okay, Kyra?” Azra asked as Kyra fished through her bag for another shirt.  Alexi, Nico’s younger brother, had disappeared at the same time as Nico had.

“Well, this furniture is showing up, so unless Nico ordered it before everything happened, then probably,” Kyra answered.  Both girls knew that it was a good possibility that it had been ordered before Jem had died, so she continued, “You know Nico, Azra.  The boy could live through anything.  I’m sure he’s just fine…same with Alexi.”

Azra nodded, looking as doubtful as Kyra was feeling.  There had been very little time between the moments that Kyra had left the building and the explosion, so little that Kyra had bruises from being forced against the wall from it.  It had been a very powerful bomb that Alexi had set off; it had hit her when she had been hiding in the alley.  If they had gotten out, there were good odds that they were dead.  Kyra would never tell Azra that, though.  It was hard enough on both of them with Jem being dead, but having to handle another one so soon would destroy them.

Kyra changed quickly, sighing.  “The neighbors will prolly be by soon to say hello, I get the distinct feeling that no one knew this house was sold.”

“Nico wouldn’t allow that,” Azra said.  Looking out the window, she continued, “But at least they may wait since the trucks just got here.”

The movers began to haul the furniture into the house, setting it up.  Apparently, Nico had gone so far as to tell them exactly where to put things.  It made it easier on the girls, though, not having to talk to anyone and just relaxing a bit.

“Kyra, maybe we should go get some food,” Azra said as the last of the furniture was being put it.  It was getting dark outside and neither of them had eaten all day.  “Having a giant fridge like this is wrong if we have no food in it.”

“I suppose,” Kyra replied.  “Gimme a sec, I gotta look at this shit Nico gave me.  I assume he has new identities for us…maybe I get to keep my name this time.”

Azra rolled her eyes, “Not likely, you know him.  He likes stupid names…”

“Yeah well, I better not be Cookie again, because if I am I’ll kick his ass when he shows up,” Kyra growled.  Nico enjoyed giving people horrible names every time he made ids.

“Cookie?” Azra raised an eyebrow.

“That’s what he gave me for my fake when I was nineteen.  They wanted me to go to the bar with them, so Nico got me one.  And the fucker named me Cookie,” she replied.  “Making fun of me.”

“Look at this; he was actually nice this time!  I get to keep my first name and so do you!” Azra grinned as she thumbed through the papers.  “We even have bank accounts with…whoa!  Where on earth did he come up with this?”

Kyra took the paper Azra was looking at out of her hands.  It had both of their names with bank account numbers on them and the total in each bank account.  “Umm, I don’t think I could ever have made this much in three lifetimes…look at all those zeroes…”

Azra laughed.  “At least he set us up so we can take our time looking for jobs.  God knows we don’t want to jump into it and get found right away.”

They both knew that getting jobs right away would tip off anyone looking for them.  It was best for them to lay low for a few days, since these were the most important.  Any little changes in any town would not be overlooked by the people who were looking for them.

A knock at the door interrupted Kyra’s thoughts.  “Great,” she muttered.  “That would be the neighbors…I hope they’re not nosy…”

“Shut up and be nice,” Azra said, walking to the door.  She opened it slowly, putting a smile on her face.  “Hi!” she said, with more enthusiasm than Kyra ever thought she could muster up.

Kyra muffled her snort at that, causing Azra to send her a dirty look over her shoulder.

“Come on in,” Azra was saying, opening the door wider.

Kyra tried to hide her smirk at Azra’s happy demeanor behind her hand, knowing she was failing miserably and catching the attention of the others.

“I’m Azra, this is my friend, Kyra,” Azra was saying, shooting Kyra another dark look.

As the new people came inside, Kyra decided it would be a good time to go get food.  She was horrible with meeting new neighbors anyway.  “I’m gonna run to the store real quick,” she smiled innocently at Azra, who she knew hated dealing with new neighbors as much as she did.  “We need food.”

“Kyra-“

“Bye,” she shouted, running past Azra.  She stepped around the neighbors, smiling at them, but ran into a one of them.  Looking up, she said, “Excuse me.”

He looked down at her from his large frame.  He looked like he was about just shy of six feet tall, she figured, only a few inches taller than her.  Her eyes met his gorgeous chocolate brown ones, holding them for a moment.  He was definitely gorgeous.  He had longer brown hair, which made his eyes all the more noticeable.

Realizing they had both frozen, she looked back at Azra.

“Kyra, you really should just stay—“

“Ciao!” Kyra said and darted past him, running to her car before Azra could try to guilt her into staying.

“Buy something GOOD then, not just your crap!” she heard Azra shout as she jumped in the car.

“Not a chance girlie!” Kyra yelled back.

“Kyra!”

“Azra!” Kyra mimicked.

“You know, I could really beat you senseless right now-“

“You tried that already and you lost horribly,” Kyra said back, smiling sweetly over her shoulder before slamming the door shut.  Even through it, she heard Azra’s annoyed scream.  Kyra threw the car in reverse and squealed out of the driveway and down the road before her friend could come after her with a bat.

She slowed down as she turned the corner towards the small center of town where the tiny grocery store was.  She wanted to take her time in hopes of not having to meet the neighbors, though that guy was pretty cute.  Parking on the road in front of the store, she took a deep breath.  Now is not the time to be getting interested in a guy, she scolded herself.  Ever since she had turned seventeen, she had always prided herself on never getting interested, just playing around until she had taken the guy for everything that she could, then moving on to the next guy.  She never got attached…but there was something about this guy…No! The voice in the back of her head shouted at her.  Do you want to get caught?  Don’t be an idiot, getting attached will just bring trouble…

Taking a deep breath, Kyra climbed out of her car and walked into the store, flipping her hair back behind her.  Her hair was getting really long, reaching well past her shoulders, something new for her.  She had always kept it short.  She refused to dye her hair when they moved, not wanting to ruin the gorgeous dark color.  She was supposed to put contacts in, but she didn’t want to at the moments.  Contacts bothered her eyes.  Even though she had toned down her wardrobe to baggier t-shirts and regular jeans, she knew that she attracted attention.  This was a small town to begin with, so any new people would attract attention.  It didn’t help that Kyra had an exotic look to her.  Everyone always told her that she just had a way about her that attracted the attention of anyone and everyone nearby.

As Kyra walked through the store, grabbing food absently, she knew she had the attention of all around her.  She hated the attention she got, seeing it as a curse.  No matter where she went, she got people’s attention.  They always had to stare, to wonder.  It only caused her trouble.  Under any other circumstances, she would have loved every moment of it, but at that moment, she just wanted to be invisible.

Walking up to the check-out lane, she slowly put her groceries up one at a time.

“You new here or just passing through?” the cashier asked, smiling at her.  “I figure you’re new because I saw moving trucks going up the hill and you have too many groceries to be just passing through.”

“New,” she said, not looking up.

“Where are you from?” the cashier asked as she rung up her things.

“Eh, here and there, no specific place…” she answered easily.  “I move around a lot.”

“That’s nice,” the cashier replied.  “Are you living alone?”

“Oh, can you ring that up separately?” she said, pointing to the candy bar.  “The rest has to go on my credit card.”

“That’s just fine, dear,” the cashier smiled at her again, forgetting her last question.

Kyra feared too many questions.  They caused way too many problems.  If anyone came looking for her and Azra, they could just ask someone she gave the answers to if two girls had just moved into town, and it would be too easy for them to hunt the girls down.  That was not a good thing.

She smiled considerately and answered the rest of the cashier’s questions vaguely, not giving away any information about herself while making the cashier feel as though she had.  She smiled charmingly at the guy standing in the lane next to her as she went to the end of the lane to bag her groceries.  She hadn’t realized just how much she had bought until they were all rung up and getting packed up.  How on earth will I get these to the car? She thought, then remembered the guy in the next lane.

She made sure to make herself look really lost as she put the bags into the cart, knowing that he was watching her.  As if on cue, he came over and said, “Hey, do you need help with those?”

She acted overly grateful as she turned to him.  “Oh, thank you so much!  I had no idea how I was going to do it!”

“No problem, beautiful,” he tried to flirt, and she forced herself to control the urge to punch him for that.

Remember, he’s getting your groceries for you…she reminded herself silently and smiled at him again.  “My car’s this way,” she said, walking out the door.  He followed her quickly, eager to please.  He loaded them into her car for her, tripping over himself every time she smiled at him.

“So,” the guy said, looking down at her, when he had finished loading the car.  “How about—“

“Thanks for helping me,” she interrupted, smiling at him again and climbing into her car before he could ask her out or anything.  She drove off quickly, giving the guy a small wave as she went.  Cranking up her music, she glanced down at the clock and realized that she had spent two hours wandering around the store.  They should be gone by now, she thought, smiling. 

As she pulled up into the driveway, she realized she was mistaken.  She could see the neighbors through the front window, and Azra was already running outside to meet her before she could get away.

“They wanted to stay to meet you,” Azra explained, smiling sweetly at her.

“You suck,” she muttered back, keeping her voice down since they were coming outside to help carry groceries in.  “What the hell, did they multiply?  There were only two when I left…like frickin’ bacteria or something…”

Azra bit her lip to keep from bursting out laughing at her comment, grabbing a bag from the back seat.

“Oh, there’s a bunch in the trunk too,” she said as the group of guys and one girl reached them.

“What on earth…” Azra glared at her. “How much did you get?”

“A lot,” Kyra shrugged, opening the trunk.

“And who did you con into bringing them out to the car?” Azra grumbled.

“I dunno, just some guy that was there,” Kyra said, grinning, causing the girl to break out laughing.

“You are good,” the girl said.  “I’m Sarra Munro.”

“Kyra,” she replied, smiling at Sarra.

“Do you even know his name or what he looks like?” Azra asked.

Kyra scoffed.  “Yeah right,” she rolled her eyes, gaining another laugh out of Sarra, and even getting Azra to giggle.  “Why on earth would I need to know?”

The guys tried to ignore her comments, failing miserably by the looks on their faces.

“Oh stop,” Sarra said to them.  Turning to Kyra, she continued, “You will so be good for this town…the guys seem to think that girls should be homemakers and moms and nothing more.”

“Ha!” Kyra said, almost falling over.  “Whatever!”

“I think I’m going to like you,” Sarra said, smiling and her and linking her arm through Kyra’s.  The two of them walked into the house, pulling Azra with them.

“What about the groceries?” Azra asked.

“That’s what the boys are for,” Kyra said, not letting go of Azra’s arm.  “We, on the other hand, get to go relax.”

“Hey!” she heard a deep growl from by the car.

“Just do it, Lethe,” Sarra called over her shoulder, slamming the door behind them.

“Oh, by the way Kyra,” Azra said, “they are all coming over tomorrow night for dinner, I told them you would cook.”

“Azra!” Kyra said, glaring at her.

“Hey, you ditched out on meeting the neighbors, and revenge is a bitch!” Azra smiled sweetly.

“Damn, you do have a point there…” Kyra growled, then shrugged.  “Whatever.”

Azra and Sarra both laughed at that.  “You don’t really care about anything, do you?” Sarra asked, grinning at them.

“Not anymore,” Kyra sobered up, her hand inadvertently moving up to the talisman.  She could feel some dried blood on the back of it still.

“What’s going on?” the deep voice rang from behind them.  “Just a second ago, you all were just laughing and joking around.  Now you look like someone died.”

Azra had quieted when Sarra had made her comment, but the guy’s words caused a sob to escape her throat and Kyra froze up.  “Excuse me,” Azra whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.  “I need to…”

She ran off before she finished her sentence.  Kyra kept her eyes on the ground, refusing to allow the tears to come back.  She wouldn’t cry anymore.  Not for him.

“What did we say?” Sarra asked after allowing a moment of silence between them.

Kyra looked up, seeing only Sarra and the big guy she had noticed earlier.  They must have sent the others back out for the rest of the groceries, she thought.  Keeping her face impassive, she said, “Nothing,” waving her hand in the air.  Covering her emotions with a charming smile, she said, “Don’t mind her, that time of the month, you know?  So, what would you guys like for dinner tomorrow?  I should start tonight if we want anything good.” 

“Do you always try to change the subject like that when people ask personal questions?” the guy asked.

“You know, I never got your name?” she said.

“I’m Lethe—“

“Lethe?  Cute…is it short for something?” she replied.

“Just Lethe,” he said, looking into her eyes.

His eyes were disarming, she found, and that worried her.  She felt as though he could see right through her, like all of her barriers that she had built up over the years just melted away.  Covering her feelings again, she said, “Interesting name.  Anyways, I should get to cooking, since you guys were sweet enough to carry these in for me…”  She grinned at the guys coming in, tearing her eyes away from Lethe’s.  She knew that he had seen right through her attempt at distraction, so before he could try to get back to the main subject, she turned and bounced into the kitchen.

“Are you guys hungry?  I bought enough food to feed an army!” she called out, getting excited shouts in reply. 

Kyra began to prepare some pasta and making cookie dough at the same time.  “I hope you guys like chocolate chip cookies and spaghetti,” she called out to the living room where they all were waiting.  Wincing at her own words and the fake cheerfulness, she tried not to groan.  Anything to distract…she thought.  She could hear the muffled voices of Lethe and Sarra right outside wall around the kitchen, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying over the laughter from the living room.  Poking her head out of the kitchen and interrupting Sarra and Lethe, she looked at them with raised eyebrows.  “I take it they found the play station?”

“Yep,” Sarra laughed.  “Hey, should we go check on Azra?”

“Leave her be, she’ll come down when she’s ready,” Kyra brushed it off.  Noticing that Lethe was poking in an open box, she said, “You’re not nosy or anything, are you Lethe?”

He looked up at her with an unreadable look on his face.  Lifting up a picture, he handed it to her, asking, “So who’s this?  Boyfriend?”

Kyra looked down at the picture, and felt her stomach clench.  Taking a deep breath, attempting to calm herself down, she sighed.  It was a picture of her on Jem’s back, both of them grinning like hyenas.  They had just gotten out of trouble and gotten away with whatever they had done, and they were all ecstatic. 

Lethe was slowly picking up the pictures underneath that one.  Her eyes fell on them, each one causing the pain to get worse.  Lethe was looking at the one of her and Jem hanging from a street light with Nico reaching up for her and Alexi jumping, trying to join them.  He flipped the picture to look at the next one, her in Alexi’s arms with her legs wrapped around his waist, the two grinning at each other.  Then came the one of the four of them, sitting around a table and looking straight at the camera, looking exhausted but excited.  Lethe flipped again, revealing more and more pictures.

Willing the pain that she knew had shown for a brief second, she said, coldly, “Wow, you have a way of digging into people’s lives, don’t you?”

He just looked at her, staring deep into her eyes, and for a brief moment, she really wanted to tell him.  She had never felt that way before; it had always been that she didn’t want to talk about her life to anyone.  “Look,” she said.  “Don’t show these to Azra, okay?  It will just upset her…and…well, he was just a friend.”

“Was?” Lethe asked, probing.

“Yeah, was,” she glared at him.  “It’s kinda hard to be friends with a dead guy.”

With that, she turned and went back into the kitchen, knowing that Lethe was following her.

“Hey,” he said, trying to get her attention.  “Hey!” he said again, grabbing her arm and spinning her around.  “Look, I’m sorry.  I didn’t know…”

“Yeah, you didn’t,” she replied, shaking his hand off coolly.  “It’s all good, just lay off.  It’s not your business.”

Something resembling hurt crossed his eyes and he dropped his hand to his side. 

“Look, this is a small town.  You can’t exactly keep secrets here, people always find out,” Sarra said from behind him.  Kyra looked right into Lethe’s eyes, challenging him to push her.

“We don’t mean any harm, it’s just habit,” Sarra continued.

Kyra finally looked over at Sarra and smiled.  “Like I said, don’t worry about it.  Just don’t push Azra, she…I don’t think that she can take it right now…the other two guys in the picture are her cousins.  We haven’t heard from them in awhile and she’s worried.”

“I won’t,” Sarra said, obviously figuring that Kyra didn’t want to talk about it.

Lethe didn’t seem so ready to drop it, but he snapped his mouth shut when Sarra elbowed him in the stomach.  Kyra turned and faced the box, gingerly touching the pictures, then setting it back down.  She paused for a second and looked at it longingly, then closed the box and pushed it towards the pile that was labeled “Kyra’s room.”

She went back into the kitchen, trying to ignore the sound of Lethe’s hushed voice behind her.

“What a bitch,” he muttered.

“Stop it Lethe,” Sarra whispered back.

“Well, seriously, she has a dead friend who obviously isn’t that cold yet and already she’s over it.  Come one, not much of a person,” he said.

“It isn’t like that and you know it,” Sarra was saying.  “She’s covering her pain.  He was obviously, as you put it, a very close friend of hers.  She doesn’t seem like someone who allows many people to get close to her, and in that picture, she looks really close to him.  Stop trying so hard not to like her.”

“She’s too used to everyone liking her,” he said.

“She doesn’t like it too much either,” Kyra heard Azra say from behind them.  “And just so you know, I’m sure she heard every single word that you said.  She has pretty good hearing.”

Kyra didn’t look up or act as though she heard anything any of them said.  She refused to let them know she was listening.

“Maybe she can’t hear us…that’s a good thing…but that dead friend, Lethe, was a great guy and one of the three people on this planet who were able to get through to her.  She would actually listen to him.  When he died…” Azra was getting choked up, “she took it really hard.  Before it happened, I was starting to get to know her.  Then…well, let’s just say I’ve gotten cut off for the most part.  Leave her alone.”

“You talk too much, Azra,” Kyra said, not flinching.  “You have known them for about two and a half hours, and already you’re disclosing personal info.”

No one replied to her, and she realized just how horrible she sounded.  I’ll apologize to Azra later, she decided.  She wouldn’t do it in front of everyone though.  She’d wait for them to leave.

A minute later, she found she didn’t have to.  Azra walked in and stood beside her, helping her put some cookie dough on the sheet.  “Sorry,” Azra whispered.

“Don’t be, I’m just feeling crabby,” Kyra whispered back.

“No, you’re right…” Azra said, her face pale.  “You know me, I’m too trusting.  It would be really easy for someone to come after us and find where we are.”

“Don’t worry, Az,” Kyra said.  “We’ll be okay.  They won’t find us.”

Azra nodded, and Kyra felt her staring, but she didn’t look up.  She continued to work with the dough, then turned and put it into the oven.

“Go sit with everyone,” Kyra smiled at her.  “I’ll finish up…”

Azra nodded, gratefully.  She did better in social situations.  Kyra had cut herself off from that world long before, never getting too into a social group.  She hated feeling judged and trying to make small talk.  She was much happier with her closest friends and relaxing.  Sighing again, she started to scowl.  I sound old, she thought, continuing to work with the cookie dough.

 Chapter Two

 

“Kyra!” she heard Jem yell, followed by a heart wrenching scream that she never thought could ever have come from her best friend.

“Jem!” she shouted back. “Hold on, Jem, I’m coming!”

She began to shake the bars on the door again, hurling herself against them in hopes to free herself.  “Hold on, Jem,” she repeated, quietly, trying to think.  Noticing the pin in her hair, she pulled it out and slipped it into the lock, moving it around.

“Come on, come on…” she muttered, then jumped with relief when the door popped open. 

“KYRA!” she heard Jem scream again, his pain evident in his voice.  It tore at her, knowing her best friend was in such pain.  He screamed again, causing tears to well up in her eyes. 

“Hold on, Jem, I’m coming!” she yelled to him again, hoping heard her.

Please, help us, please! She prayed, silently.  Please get us through this…

 

Kyra shot out of her bed in, tears rolling down her cheeks.  I’m sorry, Jem, she thought, sadly.  I was too late…  Sighing softly, she stood up and wiped the tears away.  She paused by her bed table, her eyes falling on the picture of the two of them that Lethe had found the night before.  She had put it in a frame and set it on the table the night before, falling asleep to Jem’s beautiful smile.  Now, she felt herself choking up at the sight of it, so she carefully slid it into the drawer.

She walked into the bathroom that was connected to her room and turned on the water in the sink, leaning over it.  She couldn’t get the sounds of Jem’s screams out of her head.  They just echoed, staying there, giving her a headache.  Looking up into the mirror, she sighed again, getting annoyed at her constant sighing.  She looked like shit.  She had huge dark circles under her eyes, which were totally bloodshot.  Her skin was paler than normal, standing out against her dark hair.  Her hair was all over the place, so she pulled it back into a pony tail again and splashed some water on her face.  Give me strength, she thought, silently, not really sure who it was she kept praying to lately.  She usually wasn’t one to pray, but ever since she lost Jem, she had been doing it a lot.  Maybe if Nico or Alexi were here, it would be easier, she thought, sadly.

Shaking her head and taking a deep breath, she waited a moment to allow the redness in her eyes to go down a bit, then went into the hallway.  She paused when she heard Lethe’s deep voice echoing through the house.

“So where’s Kyra?” she heard him say.

“Probably trying to sleep,” Azra replied.  Kyra crept towards the stairway and knelt down at the top, staying behind the wall and listening.

“She spent all night last night cooking and unpacking,” Azra continued.  “She never sleeps anymore.”

“Insomniac?” Kyra heard Sarra’s voice.

“No, not really,” Azra was saying.  “She has…some demons in her past.  Every time she sleeps, she wakes up screaming.”

“That explains the paleness and her…wonderful demeanor,” Lethe said, wryly.

“No, she just doesn’t like you,” Azra replied.  Kyra choked back her laughter.  She heard Lethe growl and Sarra laugh.

“Well, she isn’t too into nosy people who dig through her things,” Azra continued as though she hadn’t said anything too bad.  “Kyra’s a private person, she doesn’t allow people to get too close…and when she does, well…they’re all gone now.”

“You can stop telling them about me, thank you very much,” Kyra stood up and walked downstairs, deciding that she didn’t want Azra telling them anything more about her.

Azra flushed, but smiled, “Morning, Kyra!”

“Shut up,” she growled, walking into the kitchen.  “Please tell me there’s coffee!”

“In the pot, I had it ready for you,” Azra said, unfazed by Kyra’s morning abruptness.  Kyra felt bad for a moment, knowing that Azra had put up with it for several months, but then continued to the coffee.

Kyra poked her head out the kitchen door and said, gratefully, “I love you Azra!  I forgive you for every thing you have EVER done!”

Azra laughed, gripping the table next to her for support, and Kyra poured herself a giant cup of coffee, dumping some hot chocolate mix in it to get rid of the taste of the coffee.  “Coffee,” she grunted, pushing past Lethe and dropping into the giant arm chair in the living room.

“Got enough coffee, there?” Lethe asked, eyeing the large cup that engulfed her small hands.

“I needed something, I knew you would expect a conversation for some ungodly reason…” she rolled her eyes in reply, still grumpy.

Azra and Sarra had followed her into the living room, Lethe close behind, still in shock from what Azra had said.  He is definitely not used to girls not falling at his feet for his attention, Kyra decided, based on the look on his face.  She rubbed her eyes and sipped at her coffee, trying to shake off the sleepiness she always felt.  She ignored Lethe, even though she felt his eyes boring holes in her.  She sat silently, not paying any attention to the conversation that Azra and Sarra were having, haunted by her dream and the sound of Jem’s screams.

“Kyra?” she heard Sarra’s voice, though it sounded far away.  “Kyra?”

Blinking, she looked up.  “Yeah?” she replied.  “Sorry, I was off in la-la land…”

“Umm, they were asking about the knife on the table,” Azra nervously caught her up.

Kyra glanced over and sighed, realizing she had forgotten to put it away after playing with it in her boredom earlier that morning.  The dragon carved into the blade flashed in the light of the sun shining through the window.  Pushing it into a nearby box, she said, “What?  I like knives.”

“If it’s sharp and shiny, Kyra loves it,” Azra rolled her eyes.

“Now, now, I like glitter and that’s not sharp,” Kyra laughed.

Azra giggled, and said, “Yeah, but you can still do damage with glitter…”

“That was funny!  ‘Glitter?’  And he blows it in their face,” Kyra choked out through her laughter.

“Which comic was that anyway?” Azra asked.

Kyra shrugged.  “I dunno, but we gotta see if we get Comedy Central here.”

 “If you two are done…” Lethe stated, sarcastically, “We’re still kind of curious about the knife.”

“Actually, we’re not done, so if you guys could wait a minute—hey!” Kyra cut off as Lethe pulled the knife back out of the box.  “Did we not talk about digging in my shit yesterday?”  She reached to grab it out of his hands.

“What do you need a knife for?” Sarra asked.

Kyra sighed again in annoyance, then said, “Look, we used to live in the city, okay?  Not exactly the safest environment.  Now give it back.”

“Isn’t that the one Jem gave you?” Azra was focusing on the blade now.

“Yeah, it is,” Kyra mumbled, glaring at Lethe.  “Now give it to me.”

“Give it back to her, Lethe,” Azra watched the two as Kyra set down her coffee and stood up.  “Kyra’s kinda attached to that.”

Lethe slowly handed it over, noticing the dangerous glint of anger in Kyra’s eyes.  He raised an eyebrow at her obvious fury.  “Relax, I’m not gonna do anything to it.”

“I don’t like people,” Kyra said under her breath as she snatched the knife back and put it into her back pocket, plopping back into the chair and grabbing her coffee again.

“So much for a civil, intelligent conversation,” Lethe replied.

“Hey, I never said it would be intelligent conversation, and I don’t remember anything about civil in there,” Kyra said.

“Wait a minute,” Azra was looking in the box now.  She suddenly darted close and jerked a sweatshirt out with a squeal of glee.  “Isn’t this the one you stole from Alexi?”

Kyra laughed at her friend’s expression.  “Stole is so…harsh.  I prefer ‘borrowed without the intent of returning’ and no, you cannot have nor can you borrow it.  There’s another one upstairs from Nico though that you can borrow.”

“Without the intent of returning?” Sarra asked, and Azra laughed.

“No,” Azra said.  “Alexi let her get away with taking this; I know he wanted her to have it.”

“Don’t start with that again,” Kyra warned, pleadingly.  “I really don’t want to hear it this early.”

“You realize it’s the afternoon, right?” Azra asked.  “Not early.”

“Please, Az,” Kyra whined.  “I really don’t need to hear this again!”

“He was SO in love with you—“

“He was not,” Kyra felt her face heating up.  “You just read far too much into things.  Trust me when I say that he was never in love with me.”

Lethe and Sarra watched the conversation with interest.

“He was—“

“Azra!” Kyra interrupted her again.  The room was silent for a moment.

“I think he still is,” Azra finally said, quietly.  “You two would have made a good couple…”

“Az, seriously, he never was interested like that,” Kyra muttered.  “It wasn’t like that.”

“So who are these guys you two keep mentioning, anyway?” Lethe saved Kyra, though he looked tense.

“My cousins,” Azra answered, never taking her eyes off of Kyra.  “Kyra, Jem, Nico and Alexi all grew up together.  Kyra, Alexi, and…Jem…used to get into trouble all the time and Nico was the one who always got them out of it.”

Kyra smiled softly, sadly.  “Yeah, he did, didn’t he?”

“I remember when he talked that guy out of pressing charges after you broke his nose…”

“Dude, we were twelve,” Kyra groaned loudly.  “And that was totally an accident.”

“Accidentally on purpose,” Azra amended.  “I know that was no accident.  Jem, Alexi and Kyra were good at getting into trouble, and they always picked on Nico.”

“It was our thanks for always helping us,” Kyra said.  “Besides, he always provided such a great reaction.  Even to the stupidest pranks.”

“Reminds me of you,” Sarra was saying to Lethe.

“Please, don’t listen to her,” Azra continued.  “She was the ringleader, and she usually chose Nico…but I seem to remember that she picked on Zak Marcin a lot, too.  I think it was because she had the biggest crush on him.  At least, that’s what Alexi always said.”

“You know, that whole inability to keep your mouth shut problem seems to run in the family,” Kyra muttered.  “Sure it’s not genetic?”

Laughing, Azra said, “Now, you know that’s not true.  Nico can definitely keep his mouth shut.”

“Must have skipped him,” Kyra said.

Sarra jumped in ,“Why didn’t you and Zak ever get together?”

“You and Alexi are such gossips!  First of all, I maintain that Zaki never liked me in that way—“

“Yes he did,” Azra interrupted Kyra.  “He was just never able to admit it.”

“Stop it,” Kyra groaned again.  “I swear, Azra, you look for some romantic story everywhere.  Besides, I was sixteen when I had a crush on Zaki.”

“No I don’t,” Azra attempted to defend herself.  “And that crush went on for the next two years, Alexi said.  You still call him Zaki…”

“Oh please,” Kyra groaned.  “I have always called him Zaki, since the first day I met him.”

“That was…” Azra attempted to think.

Kyra sighed.  “That was not long after I met Alexi and Nico.  They introduced Jem and me to the whole group.”

“Group?” Sarra looked really confused.

“Zaki Marcin, Ransom and Gamble Laren, Tanis Damianos, Selarah Sabriel, Ayla Jerrick, Kazia Nathair,” Kyra said before Azra could open her mouth again.  She figured that Azra was going to say it anyway, so she may as well explain.  “We were all friends through high school.”

“They kind of split up after Kyra, Gamble, Tanis and Selarah all graduated.  They were the youngest,” Azra supplied while Kyra glared at her.

“But that’s not the point,” Kyra said.  “The point is, you look for romantic stuff.  And nothing ever happened between me and Zaki, so drop it.”

“That’s not true, on both counts!” Azra replied.

“Oh yeah?” Kyra asked, avoiding the main question about Zaki that hung in the air.  “Well, what about Jem and Carly?”  She watched Azra flush, then went on, “You were convinced that Jem and Carly had a whole romantic love thing going on, and that she was cheating on Alexi with Jem.”

“Okay, so maybe I do like to look for something like that,” Azra meekly admitted.

“Oh yeah, Alexi wanted to kill you when he found out you had no real proof and had totally gotten him worked up for nothing,” Kyra laughed.

Azra sighed, “He didn’t need to get so upset.”

“Didn’t he end up chasing away your crushes for the next few months?” Kyra asked.

“I suppose I did deserve it,” Azra laughed.  “Really deserved it.  Not that you guys didn’t help him.”

“Oh of course,” Kyra looked at her friend.  “Do you have any idea how much whining we had to put up with from him because of you?”

“They not only scared off all of my crushes for months, but they started a prank war with me,” Azra explained to Sarra and Lethe.  “And believe me, a prank war against one of them is a losing situation.  All of them against me…well, it sucked.”

“Sounds like they had fun,” Sarra said.

Both girls nodded, still smiling over memories.  Kyra’s smile turned bitter quickly as Jem’s tortured voice came back into her memory.  Closing her eyes, she lost track of the conversation again.

 

“Kyra Angelina Deveraux!” Nico’s voice carried down the stairs.  “I swear, I’m gonna kill you!”

“He has found our little surprise earlier than expected,” a ten year old Kyra observed, calmly, ignoring the laughter of their friends.

“So it seems,” the young Jem nodded, sagely, Alexi nodding in agreement.

Kyra listened as Nico’s footsteps pounded down the stairs.  “I do believe this is out cue to run.”

The three children looked at each other for a moment before taking off out the door, Nico close behind them.  Laughter echoed through the house as they ran down the street, zigzagging and jumping around, with Nico’s enraged cries over his now pink hair.

“I don’t think he likes the color pink,” Jem shouted breathlessly beside her as they jumped over the curb.

“I’m beginning to think you’re right,” Alexi shouted back, glancing behind them to see Nico stumble over the curb.

“Perhaps green next time?” Kyra suggested with a grin as the three of them stopped to watch their friend pick himself up.

“I think that is a good idea,” the two boys agreed.

 

“Kyra,” Azra touched her should gently, bringing her back to the present.  A worried expression marred Azra’s features. “We were just asking what you were going to feed us tonight…”

“There’s a ton of food ready in the fridge,” Kyra answered, not meeting Azra’s eyes.  “I was up cooking last night so there’s homemade pizza, taco salad, and a ton of other shit in there.”

“Homemade pizza?” Lethe said, incredulously.

“Yeah, homemade…” she replied, looking at him.

“It’s really good,” Azra jumped in, her eyes lighting up.  “Kyra is the best at making pizza.  You’ll love it, trust me.  Of course, it also takes a very long time to make…”  With that said, Azra looked at her carefully.

“What time are people coming over?” Kyra asked.  “I assume you invited a bunch of them.”

“Of course,” Azra said with a grin.  “They should be showing up in about an hour.”

“I thought it was for dinner?” Kyra asked.  She was really confused. 

“Yeah, it’s about 2:00 in the afternoon, Kyra,” Azra looked at her funny.

“Prolly, I haven’t really been paying attention,” she said with a yawn.

“What time did you go to bed?” Azra asked.

“Right before you got up,” she said, getting up and walking out of the room.

Azra gasped, then shouted after her, “But that was at about noon!”

“Yep,” Kyra yelled back.  She glanced out the doorway and grinned at her.

“That’s not healthy,” Sarra said, following her into the kitchen.

“Nope,” Kyra shrugged at that, trying to ignore that Sarra was attempting to get close to her.  Kyra eyed her wearily.

“Shouldn’t you rest more?” Sarra asked, the continued, eying Kyra’s small frame, “or maybe eat something?”

“Silly question, Sarra!” Azra sarcastically replied for Kyra as she stalked into the kitchen.  “Since when did the invincible Kyra need nourishment or rest? She is above all of that.”

“Fuck off, Az,” Kyra groaned as she walked towards the refrigerator.

“Hey,” Lethe forced his way into the kitchen.  He pushed Sarra out of the way, making her leave the area.  “Is there any soda in there?”

Kyra motioned to the refrigerator.  “Help yourself,” she said, grateful for his help.

“Look,” he whispered once Azra and Sarra had gone into the living room again.  “She means well, she just doesn’t understand that some people want to just be left alone.”

“And I’m sure that you are so understanding of that when you’re digging through people’s boxes,” she scowled at him.

“It what out in the open, the pictures were on top.  I wasn’t digging, I just got curious,” he defended himself.

“Curiosity kills the cat,” she smiled darkly at him.

He grinned down at her, shaking his head, then walked out of the kitchen with his soda in hand.  Kyra glared at his back, trying not to accept that she didn’t mind him being there so much.

Kyra moved her gaze to Azra, who was watching her with amusement.  “You like him,” Azra said, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“I do not,” Kyra rolled her eyes.

“Oh, yes you do!  I saw that, you only do that when you like someone!” Azra whispered.

“Do what?” Kyra scowled at her friend.

Azra smirked, reminding Kyra that the girl had been spending far too much time with her.  “You’re doing everything you can to push him away,” Azra said.  “And you push especially hard whenever you like someone like that.”

“Azra…” Kyra closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.

“Alexi told me!” Azra defended herself.

“And what else has your darling cousin told you?”

Before Azra could answer, a phone rang, the jingle vaguely familiar.  Kyra’s eyes widened in shock when she placed it.  It was the ringer on Jem’s cell phone.

Not waiting another second, Kyra tore out of the kitchen and dug through the box in the living room that the jingle was coming from.  When she found it, she lifted it out of the box and stared at it in shock.

“Well, aren’t you going to answer your phone?” Sarra said, the noise obviously annoying her.

“It’s not ours,” Kyra replied, her voice cold.  She stared at the phone for another second as it rang, then hit the answer button and slowly brought it up to her ear.

She didn’t even have to speak before the voice on the other line began.

“Don’t say a word, I only have a minute,” the familiar voice began.  Kyra’s jaw dropped and she looked at Azra, mouthing ‘Alexi.’  Speak of the devil, Kyra thought, amazed that so soon after talking about him, he had called.  Azra muffled a scream behind her hand.

“Go somewhere away from people,” Nico commanded, and Kyra quickly spun and walked out the back door, slamming it behind her.

“I promise you, you are safe for now, baby girl.  Just be careful, they are looking for you.  They know that you were there and they have decided that they want you dead.  You have a helluva price on your head, so lay low.  Have her do the shopping and you stay inside and out of sight as much as possible.”

Kyra knew he was referring to Azra when he said her.  By him saying that, she knew that it wasn’t safe to talk, and that someone may be tapping in.

“Be careful Baby, I don’t want you hurt.  Don’t trust anyone, and get rid of the phone.”

“Alexi,” she whispered.

“I thought I said not to say a word,” he sounded sad.

She paused for a moment, then said, “I miss you.”

“I know, Baby,” he replied.  “I miss you too.”

“I’m so sorry, Alexi,” she felt herself shaking with the emotions she was trying to hold in.  “Are you…”

“I’m okay, sweets, I promise,” he said.  She could hear him sigh through the phone.  “Please be careful.  Promise me you won’t go out for awhile?”

“I promise,” she said.

“Thank you,” he sounded breathless.  “I…it wasn’t your fault.  Please don’t blame yourself.  One of us will be there as soon as possible to help you.”

“Is Nico…” she couldn’t finish the sentence, afraid of the answer.

“I’ll be straight with you, Baby,” he sounded strained.  “I don’t know.  I haven’t heard from him in awhile.”

“But you’re—“

“I’m okay,” he sounded like he was smiling.  “Take care of yourself.”

Silence filled the line until the phone beeped to inform her that he was gone.  She pulled the phone to her chest and heaved a sigh of relief.  He’s all right, she thought, blinking back the impending tears.  A sense of foreboding cut through her relief, a fear of some unknown danger that was coming.  Troubled, Kyra turned and began back into the house.

 Chapter Three

 

 

Stepping as quietly as possible through the sliding doors, Kyra set the phone down on the table and stared at it for a moment.  Then, she began pulling it apart.

“Kyra?” Azra ran in as soon as she heard the noises.  “What did he say?  Are you all right?”

“Do you have that little tool kit for smaller objects?” Kyra asked, ignoring Azra’s questions.

Azra disappeared into the kitchen for a moment.  The tiny tool kit materialized on the table in front of Kyra. 

“What did he say?” Azra asked again.

Kyra just looked up at her for a moment, then continued on with her work.  “I need you to take care of shopping and shit like that for awhile,” she finally said.

Azra paled visibly at that statement.  “Did they find us?” she asked.

“No,” Kyra answered.  “We’ll talk later.”  She could hear someone walking towards them, and Azra immediately shut up.

“What’s going on?” Lethe sat down at the table.

Kyra ignored his question and continued to pull apart the phone.  “Azra,” she stopped suddenly.  “How did this end up here?”

“I figured…” Azra trailed off, not wanting to say too much.

“No…neither of them would do something that stupid,” she said, never taking her eyes off of the phone.  She began to work more quickly until she came across what she was looking for.  “Damn it!” she swore under her breath, yanking it out and slamming it under her fist on the table.

“Please tell me that’s not what I think it was…” Azra groaned.

“Is that a tapping device?” Lethe said in a low growl.

“It’s nothing,” Kyra replied, trying to sound sure of herself.  “Jem always put this kind of thing in his shit, remember Az?”

Azra nodded slowly, still looking worried.

“What the hell is going on here?” Lethe cut in, putting his hand on Kyra’s arm before she could jump up.

“Nothing,” she said, looking directly at him.  “We just don’t want certain people to find us is all.”

Lethe still looked suspicious, so she continued, “Look an ex-boyfriend of mine used to beat the shit out of me.  We ran, and now he’s been trying to find us.  That’s it.”

Lethe didn’t look convinced, but took the story with a sigh.  “Was that him who called then?”

“That was Alexi,” Azra said, with a sigh.  “At least he’s okay.”

“Azra…” Kyra said, glancing at their neighbors.

Azra was still talking, “I was so worried about him, after all that happened…did he say anything about Nico?  Are they okay—“

“Azra!” Kyra interrupted, grabbing her arm.  “I’m sure Nico’s fine.  Can we talk about this later?”

Lethe was watching them suspiciously and Sarra looked confused.

Azra had stopped talking, now flushing.  “Sorry, just rambling.”

“So what happened with this ex-boyfriend of yours?” Sarra asked.

“He was taken care of,” Kyra looked up at Azra, rolling her eyes.  At least it’s partly true… Kyra thought, for some reason not liking that she wasn’t telling him the truth.  Since when does it bother me not to trust someone?  Getting angry at herself for these thoughts, she stood up quickly and went into the kitchen, knowing that something was pulling her to this man and that she didn’t want it.

“Someone actually did that to her?” she heard Lethe say to Azra.

“Yeah,” Azra answered, slowly, as if unsure whether or not to trust him with the information.

“Somehow, I can’t see her letting any guy get away with that,” Lethe commented.  “She seems to like control too much for that.”

“She wasn’t always this angry, you know.  She used to be so carefree and happy, not one thing out there could get her down.  She and Jem used to be the heart and soul of their group.  They could make any of us laugh no matter what was going on.  They loved to play jokes and just be all around crazy…” Azra sounded upset.

“What happened?” Lethe probed, gently.

“Look, you gotta understand that Kyra, Jem, and my cousins all grew up together,” Azra said.

“Your cousins are Alexi and Nico?” Sarra clarified.

Azra nodded.  “Jem and Kyra were really close friends.  They were born in the same room at the same time.  Both of their mothers died in a car accident, both of their fathers remarried bitchy, socialite women.  It was like some higher power put them together to help each other.  Together, they could make it through anything with a smile on their faces.  I swear, they were soul mates in the way that they fit together.  They lived near Nico and Alexi.  I don’t know when the four of them met, but from what I heard from my aunt and uncle said that the four of them became inseparable immediately.  They stayed close ever since.

“When Kyra turned sixteen, she met a guy named Scott.  He was a jerk, none of the guys liked him.  I remember visiting and hearing about him from Nico and Alexi all the time.  They used to find her with bruises all over, but she refused to tell them what happened to her.  Finally, after about six months of that, they were able to get her away from him.”

Kyra bent over the sink, feeling the memories of that time hit her as she listened to Azra tell Lethe yet another thing she knew she should have cut off.  But somehow, she couldn’t move, other than to sink to the floor and pull her legs to her chest.

“She never trusted anyone besides the guys…and now, me, after that.  We were all she had…then Jem was killed…”

“He was killed?” Lethe interrupted.

“Right in front of her,” Azra admitted.  “Both of them were grabbed and locked up in some warehouse.  Nico told me that they had been torturing Jem horribly, that his screams could be heard across town, not that anyone helped him.  I guess Kyra was able to get out of her room, but she wasn’t able to get to him in time.  They grabbed her and killed him right in front of her…Nico wouldn’t tell me anything else.”

Kyra felt her shoulders wrack with a sob that had managed to escape her throat. 

 

“Kyra!  God, Kyra, please, help me!”

 

Jem’s voice still rang through her head, imprinted in her mind forever.  Still she remained unmoving.

It was quiet outside the door for a moment.  Kyra sat silently, allowing a few stray tears to run down her face, then stood up and brushed them aside.  Sure that she was looking okay and that there was no evidence of her tears, she coldly opened the door and took her friend’s arm.  Azra looked at her in complete shock, which quickly turned to fear at the impassive look on Kyra’s face.

“Azra, could you please join me in the kitchen for a moment?  We need to speak,” Kyra said.  Azra paled at her formality, but followed as Kyra walked into the kitchen.

Turning to her friend, Kyra whispered, “What are you, crazy?  You just go around telling some strange guy we’ve known for not even 24 hours all that shit?  I haven’t even told you everything, why the hell would I want him to know?  He has no need to know what’s going on!”

Azra looked straight into her eyes and said, “Look, I’m sorry…there’s just something about him, Kyra.  I swear, I had no intention of telling him all of that, I truly didn’t, there’s just something that made me talk to him.  I don’t know why, but I trust him…and please stop acting like that, you’re scaring me!”

“Sorry,” Kyra muttered.

“You notice it too, don’t you?” Azra said.  “About Lethe.  Something that just makes him easy to talk to.”

“Something like that…” Kyra said, leaning against the refrigerator and placing her hand over her face, covering her eyes.  The tears from a few minutes ago were threatening to fall again.  “No more talking about that shit, though, okay?”

“What did Alexi say that scared you so much?” Azra asked.  “What’s going on?”

“He told me to lay low, that something was up, but he didn’t know what—“

“Liar, what did he really tell you?” Azra interrupted.

“Okay, okay, he said that I have a helluva price on my head and basically implied that every bounty hunter and assassin out there is looking for me, so you’re gonna have to do the shopping.  Just say I’m sick or something, and no more parties like this.  We don’t know who these people are.  Some of them could very well be looking for me.  Also, he said ‘one of us will be there soon to help you’ so I assume that Nico is okay,” Kyra said, a resigned tone in her voice.  “God, I hate hiding.”

“It’s smarter than having someone blow your head off in the middle of a supermarket or something,” Azra replied, sarcastically.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Kyra replied.  “You sound like Nico.  Just no more info to these people all right?  The last thing that we need right now is to end up with one of us dead.”

“Got it…” Azra said.  “You know, you never answered my question before.”

“Which one?” Kyra straightened up and continued her work on dinner.

“About Lethe…”

“Huh?”

“You like him!” Azra jumped off the counter with glee.

“Whatever,” Kyra replied, shoving her through the door.

“I knew it!” Azra squealed as Kyra pushed the door shut in her face.  Sighing, she turned back to her busy work.  The last thing she wanted to do was to think.  She stood there for several hours, just playing around with food.

Looking up at the clock and noticed that it was already 7:00 pm.  She reached up into the cabinet and pulled down the tequila, taking a giant drink out of it.  She spun around, though, when she heard the chuckle from behind her.

“Getting drunk already?” Lethe said through his laughter.

“I’m gonna need it,” she muttered, rolling her eyes and turning back to her work.

“Not good in social situations I take it?” he said, walking up right behind her.  She tensed up as his body pressed against her.  He reached around her and grabbed the bottle and took a swig out of it, shuddering slightly at the shock of it.

“Strong shit,” he said in her ear.

“That’s why I like it,” she said, and with a scowl, she grabbed the bottle out of his hands, taking another drink.

“That’s a pretty big bottle…” Lethe was saying as she continued to drink.

“And it tastes like shit, but that’s okay,” she shrugged.  “I have every intention of getting thoroughly trashed tonight.”

“Do you now?” he said, not moving from his spot right up against her back.

“Wait, don’t tell me, you’ve been drinking already?” she said, starting to feel the effects of what she had drunk already. Glancing at the bottle, she realized that she had drunk at least half of it within the last few minutes.

“I’ve had a few beers…” he said.

“And?”

“Several shots of tequila…”

“And?”

“And a lot of that whop you guys made last night,” he replied, biting at her neck.

“Hey!” she somehow managed to turn herself around to face him.  “I’m not that drunk…yet…”

“Hmmm,” he muttered putting an arm around her waist to hold her to him.

“Now, now, Lethe,” she tried to jump sideways, only causing him to get a hard on.  “We don’t like each other, remember?”

“Oh, I have no problem with you,” he said, his face only inches from hers.  “Besides, this isn’t some relationship or anything…you seem like you need to loosen up…”

“Oh, that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…of course, it could just be the alcohol kicking in…” Kyra replied, taking another drink.  Then, she looked up at Lethe with interest.  He was gorgeous, and she could feel the powerful muscles he had while he was pressed up against her.  It could be fun…

She dropped the thought, though, as she noticed with amusement that people were moving in and out of the kitchen to get food and drinks.  Everyone was completely ignoring them, though.

Reaching behind her, she grabbed the bottle again and forced down another good fraction of the bottle.  She knew that she was getting trashed within a matter of minutes, downing the bottle so quickly, but she was beyond caring.  At least Lethe would be there, and since he was hoping to get laid that night, he wouldn’t let anyone else take advantage of her.

“Not yet, horny boy,” she ducked out from under his arms and giggled as she stumbled to the door.  Lethe was right behind her, his hand on her back the whole time.

“Where have you two been?” Sarra was asking her, but she just raised an eyebrow in response.

“Well, Lethe has been in there with you for about an hour now,” Sarra shrugged.

“Already?” Kyra asked, swaying a little.  “I didn’t know it was that long.”

“Are you drunk?” Azra peered at her.

Kyra peered back, laughing.  “Yeppers!” she replied, grinning at her.  “Now if you will excuse me, I wanna dance!”

Grabbing Lethe’s hand, she dragged him out to the dance floor and the two started dancing.  It was more of grinding with some fondling than dancing, but it didn’t bother either of them any.  Kyra just kept taking drinks out of whatever people were giving her, and Lethe kept taking them away.

The next thing that Kyra knew, she was being carried to her bedroom by Lethe.  He shut the door behind him and set her down, seeming to be a little less drunk.  She stumbled a bit and fell into his arms.  Straightening up, she kissed him deeply.  Somewhere deep inside of her, a little voice was saying that this was a very bad idea, but it quickly drowned in the Tequila she had been drinking.

Though he had been drinking, he tasted wonderful in her opinion.  Lethe stood there as she tore off his shirt, dragging him to her bed.  He paused for a moment, seeming to contemplate, until Kyra lifted what little was left in her bottle and made him drink it.  Then, he came alive, and began to tear off her clothes, lowering her to the bed.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Kyra awoke to the sun shining down on her.  Groaning, she lifted her hand to her head.  She had a hell of a hangover.  Glancing at the floor with half opened eyes, the first thing that she saw was the giant bottle of tequila that had been unopened until the night before.  Sighing, she glanced around, noticing all of the clothing on the floor.

Smiling wryly, then growling at the pain the smile had brought, she thought I suppose I got laid last night…  She did feel a lot less stressed, her body relaxed for the first time in years.

Realizing that whoever she had had sex with the night before was still next to her, she glanced over.  Lethe, she groaned inwardly.  That wasn’t supposed to happen.  She had wanted to distance herself from the man who seemed to be able to read her thoughts, who was able to make her feel like she could totally trust him.  She noticed that his arm was tightly strewn across her, holding her in place.  Lying back, she sighed softly, not wanting to wake him up.

Shit, she thought, closing her eyes.  She tried to relax and not think about the warm feeling that she had from his naked body pressed against hers.  I cannot be falling for him; he is not interested in that…he prolly just wanted some easy sex…

Kyra hated how this made her look and how it made her feel.  She never went to bed so quickly.  Truth was that her only time with sex had been with Scott…and that hadn’t really been consensual.  She wasn’t easy or anything…I feel like a whore, she thought.

Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she felt Lethe moving beside her.  He was definitely awake, because he sat up and moved the bed.

“Oh, for the love of God,” she muttered.  “Stop moving, that really hurts!”

“Sorry,” she heard him say.  Instead of getting up immediately as she expected him to, he lay back down slowly.  He sighed and she could tell that he had his hands on his head.

“Hangover?” she heard him say. 

“Oh yeah,” she growled.

She heard him chuckle at her tone.  “Well, I suppose that would be expected considering how much you drank.”

“Hey you had some of that bottle too…” she tried to defend herself but found that she just wanted to drop it.

“I had about four shots worth out of that thing, you had the rest,” he said.

“Prolly,” she replied, her fingers rubbing her temples.  “That would explain the migraine and the all out pain.”

“Yeah, it would,” he said, softly.

“Kyra?” she heard Azra call from outside her room.  The door shook as Azra tried to get in.  At least we had the sense to lock it last night, she thought.  Then, it occurred to her about protection.

“Lethe?” she whispered, her eyes suddenly opening.  She ignored her friend’s voice and looked up at him.  “Did we by any chance use protection?”

His eyes grew large and scanned the floor.  “I don’t think so,” he finally said.  “And I don’t suppose you’re on birth control?”

“Well, this isn’t an every day occurrence for me,” she snapped.

Lethe looked down at her, surprised.

“What, did you think I was some kind of whore?” she spat, jumping up.  It was all that she could do to ignore the throbbing pain in her head, but she managed to put her clothing on.

“No,” he said, quietly from his spot on the bed.  “I don’t.  Have you ever…”

“I’ve only had one boyfriend,” she growled, not able to bring herself to look at him.  She could feel the blush spread across her face as she began to pick up his clothes and throw them on the bed for him.

“That’s the only time?” he said after several minutes.

“Yeah,” she whispered, feeling totally ashamed.  She heard a sharp intake of breath from him.

“I didn’t know…” he said slowly.  “I’m sorry, Kyra.”

“What is there to be sorry for?” she asked, meekly.  She hated feeling this upset over something so little.  She just didn’t want him to think of her as a whore.

Standing up, she turned to see him standing there, staring at her, wearing only his jeans.  His lean chest caught her eyes, but she quickly looked away.

He stepped forward and pulled her close to him, holding her tightly against his chest.  She placed her hands on his chest and laid her head against his shoulder, trustingly.  “You are not a whore,” he whispered in her ear.  “And had I known what I know now, I would have made this a lot more memorable for you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said into his chest.

“It does,” he said, his hand running through her hair.  She felt a deep sigh from him as his chest expanded.  “I’m sorry.”

“Seriously, don’t be,” she pulled back and tried to turn around.  He didn’t let go, though, and tilted her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. 

“You deserve better,” he said, staring straight down into her eyes.

“Why?” she scowled at him.  She knew that she needed to push him away.  “I was just a one night stand, remember?”

Sighing, he let go of her and stepped back, sitting on the bed.  “Stop pushing me away, Kyra,” he said, shaking his head.

Kyra froze.  Jem had told her the same thing years ago.

 

“I’m always here for you, Kyra, my angel,” he whispered to her as she turned to go.  “Just don’t give up hope.  There’s a guy out there for you who will be able to read your every thought, and who will make your stomach do flip flops!”

“Enough of the fairy tales, Jem,” she replied.  “Reality isn’t like that.”

“Stop it, Kyra,” Jem growled at her.  “You’re pushing me away again.  Please stop.”

 

“Kyra?” Lethe was in front of her now, pulling her out of her reverie.  “Kyra, are you all right?”  He sounded truly worried.

Kyra looked up at him, feeling the tears in her eyes.  “Just go, Lethe,” she said, blinking furiously.

“You don’t have to hide you know,” he said, not letting go of her arms.  “I know that you hurt, we all see it.  Let us help you…”

“Why the hell would you want to help me, Lethe?” she asked, glaring at him.

“I don’t know,” he admitted.  “Something about you, since the second I saw you.  There’s something that pulls me to you.”

“Against your will?” she asked, sarcastically, searching for anything to make him angry, to get him out of there before he got too attached.

“Whether or not I felt that pull, Kyra, I would want you,” he said.  “More than just a physical or sexual want.”

“Stop trying to butter me up,” she said.  “That may work for the other girls you do this with, but it won’t work with me.  Don’t toy with me.  Just leave like I’m sure you always do, but don’t bother calling me for another booty call.”

“Booty call?” he sounded enraged.  Good, she thought.  It’s better that he hates me than to draw him into this.  As she thought that, Lethe grabbed his shirt and stormed out of the house.  Kyra heard the front door slam behind him.  It practically shook the whole house.

Azra looked into Kyra’s bedroom and saw her sitting on the bed, her head in her hands.

“What happened?” Azra asked, sitting down beside her.

“I had sex with him, that’s it,” she muttered.

“Not likely,” Azra mused.  “If it was just that, he wouldn’t have left in such a bad mood.”

“Well, he did,” Kyra said, still not lifting her face.

Azra was staring at her for a moment, then sighed.  “You really like him, don’t you Kyra?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kyra growled.

“Then look at me.”

Kyra took a moment, then looked up at her friend, knowing full well that her eyes were red and puffy from crying.

“I knew it,” Azra said, pulling Kyra into a hug.  “Why did you piss him off?”

“Don’t you understand, Az?” Kyra pulled back, her voice distant.  “There’s nothing else I can do.  I can’t let him get close, he’ll just get pulled into this whole mess…I won’t let that happen.  It’s hard enough knowing that I got you stuck in it.”

“I chose to be here, Kyra, you know that,” Azra smiled.  “I wanted to be by your side, I wasn’t about to leave you alone.”

Kyra smiled softly.  “Thank you, Az.”

“No problem…you shouldn’t be pushing him away though,” Azra advised.  “He could be able to help to us.”

“I won’t let him into this,” she replied, rubbing her eyes.  “I can’t.  I can barely stand that I got Jem killed…I won’t let it happen to Lethe too.  You know I can’t be with him, not like this.  And I won’t be his death.”

“It’s not your fault that Jem died!”  Azra said quickly.  “Trust me, Kyra; it’s not your fault.”

“I should have been able to get there,” she whispered.  “I should have saved him.”

“You did all that you could,” Azra replied, squeezing her shoulder.  “It’s not your fault.  Now let’s go get something to eat, you’re getting way too skinny.  I know you haven’t been eating lately, so don’t even try to tell me different.”

“All right, let’s go,” Kyra giggled.

Chapter Four

 

Kyra sighed and ran a hand through her hair, annoyed.  She was quickly running out of books after a week straight of reading.  The Play Station that they had was of no interest to her, and they had few movies to watch.  They had no phone connected, and no internet.  The girls had played all of the board games several times over, already bored by them.  They were out of card games to play as well.  The only time Azra left the house was to get some food or something important.  Other than that, both girls stayed inside with nothing to do.  Azra had dealt with the boredom by sleeping constantly, leaving Kyra with little company, so she had literally begun staring at the walls, thinking. 

“Kyra?” Azra interrupted one of her wall-staring sessions.  “Do you think it’s safe to go out yet?”

“I’m getting hungry.  So what do you want to eat?” Kyra asked, ignoring Azra’s question.  Before Azra could answer, a loud pounding came from the doorway.

Kyra tensed up immediately and reached under the little table that the phone was on and pulled the gun she had placed under there out.  Holding it behind her back, she slowly moved to the door.

“Azra, go upstairs,” she commanded, seeing the large forms through window behind the drapes.  Azra obviously didn’t think twice and silently ran up the stairs.

Kyra walked to the doorway confidently and took a deep breath before opening it part way, looking carefully around it.  Sighing with relief at what she saw, she opened it up all the way and said, “You guys scared the shit outta me!”

Rolling her eyes, she walked back to the stand and hid the gun again, hoping they hadn’t seen it.

“What’s up with that?” Sarra said, pushing in front of the three guys.  “And where have you guys been all week?  We’ve been trying to find you.”

“Nothing,” Kyra replied.  “Az, we got company!”

“Who is it?” Azra called back.

“Sarra and her whores,” she yelled, and Azra rushed downstairs as the guys groaned in protest of what she had called them.

“What?  I don’t know your names, so what else am I supposed to call you?” she shrugged as she walked into the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” Sarra asked.

“I so need to be fooded,” Kyra mumbled, hearing Azra laugh.  She knew that no one else would understand the joke, but it didn’t bother her.

“Yeah, you guys showed up last week, didn’t you?” Azra said, following Kyra.  The guys and Sarra were right behind her.

“Yeah, I’m Nick, and this is Jess, and Freddy,” one of them said.

Kyra looked them over her for a moment, then said, “Brothers?”

“Twins, Freddy is a year younger than us,” one of them said. 

“They’re my brothers,” Sarra said.

“Wow,” Kyra looked at her.  “Four brothers?  That’s gotta be hell when it comes to dating.”

“It is, trust me,” Sarra replied.

“Dude, there is no way we’re gonna tell you guys apart,” Azra said, “So be prepared for random names or something like that.”

The twins laughed, then one of them asked, “Did I hear something about food?”

“Kyra…” Sarra asked, hopefully.  She was going almost as stir crazy as Kyra was, wanting company.

“Fine, fine, what do you guys want?  I think the easiest thing to get to right now is the fixings for cinnamon French toast,” Kyra replied.

That elicited excited gasps from everyone, so she went about making them food.

“So what happened at the party that made Lethe so pissy lately?” Sarra asked, causing Kyra to tense up.

“I dunno, I was beyond trashed for the most part.  The last I remember, he was fine,” one of the twins said.

“I wasn’t here,” Freddy said, scowling.

“You were invited, you said you didn’t want to come,” Sarra replied.

Thank God they changed the subject, Kyra thought, allowing a quiet sigh to slip her lips.

“Well, whatever happened, he doesn’t want to come over here, which is surprising ‘cuz he knew that Kyra would end up making breakfast,” Sarra switched back, and Kyra groaned inwardly.

This is a good thing, she thought.  It means you don’t have to worry about distractions.

“So Kyra,” Azra grinned evilly.  “Did you have fun at the party?”

“I achieved my goal,” she replied, not taking the bait that Azra was offering.

“What was that?” Freddy asked.

“I got so drunk that I don’t remember a thing,” she replied.

“And she got—“

“Food’s ready,” Kyra interrupted Azra’s comment, not wanting to deal with it.

As soon as she said that, there was a mad dash for the kitchen.  The guys got there first, piling their plates high with the food.  By the time everyone got through, there was one small one left that Kyra ate, not wanting to mention that she had barely eaten anything.

“All right, rules for eating in this house is you help out with cleaning afterwards,” Kyra said as everyone finished.  “Cook doesn’t have to clean!”

“Hey, if you keep cooking, we’ll come over and clean and do whatever you want!” one of the twins mumbled.

Kyra paused at that, smiling sweetly.  “Anything?” she asked.

“Oooh, now you’ve done it!  You shouldn’t have said anything, she’s gonna hold you to that!” Azra laughed.

One of the twins raised his eyebrows suggestively at her, looking her over.  Laughing, she turned around, acting like a model.

“Good enough view?” she giggled.

“Oh, definitely,” another said, whistling appreciatively.

“Okay,” she said, “now that we got that off our chests, let’s go swimming…right after the boys clean our new pool!”

“I told you so,” Azra said to them as they walked out the back door, grumbling.

“It’ll be worth it if you girls have bikinis,” Freddy said, cheerfully.  That thought seemed to brighten the idea to the twins, and they hurried about doing the job.  “But isn’t it a little cold to go swimming?  It’s only March…”

“Indoor pool,” Azra replied, pointing down the stairs.

“Boys,” Kyra rolled her eyes.  “They will do anything to see the least bit of skin.”

“Oh stop it Kyra,” Azra said.  “You know it’s you they want.”

“Don’t even start with me Azra,” Kyra put her hands on her head, trying to push back the straining headache from her hangover.

“Want me to get you something for it?” Azra noticed immediately.

“Don’t worry about it…” Kyra mumbled.  “But I will make a grocery list for you, and you can go to the store after we swim.”

Azra growled but nodded, a smile on her face.  “You always could get anything that you wanted Kyra.”

“Not anything,” Kyra sighed softly, willing the memories of Jem to go away.  “If only anything…”

“I’m sorry Kyra, I shouldn’t have said that,” Azra winced, knowing that it had brought up painful memories that the night before had been meant to forget. 

Kyra forced a small smile and walked towards the stairs.  “Let me know when they’re done cleaning, okay?”

Not waiting for an answer, she dashed up the stairs and hid in her room, locking the door behind her.  She slowly sat down on the bed and pulled a box that she had hidden under it out.  Carefully opening the box, she pulled out the picture of her and Jem, finally allowing more tears to come.  She hated crying, but she knew that she needed to, and since she didn’t want anyone else to know about it, she just did it in the privacy of her bedroom.

 

“Kyra! Jem!  Alexi!” she heard Nico shout.  “Get back here or I’m gonna kill you!”

Giggling, Kyra looked at Jem and Alexi, then dashed out the front door and down the street with him, Nico hot on their tail.  They zigzagged across the street and jumped the fence into the park, dodging the swings and hopping into the largest tree they could find.

“Damn it Kyra!” Nico shouted below them.

She all out laughed, knowing full well that Nico wouldn’t climb up after them.  “Come and get it, Nico!”

Jem laughed and grabbed her as he slid off the branch. Alexi reached for the two of them and held on, keeping them from falling.   As they steadied themselves, they burst out laughing again.

“I am so gonna get you two for this!”

Looking down, Kyra stared at her naked friend, giggling again.  In her hands lay Nico’s only pair of clothing that he had in this state, which they had just stolen while he had been in the shower.

Suddenly, Kyra started sliding off the branch.

“Jem!” she shouted, grabbing his arm and dragging him with her.  Jem in turn grabbed Alexi.

The three of them landed in a heap at the trunk of the tree, right at Nico’s feet.

Jem and Alexi pulled her up quickly, and dropping Nico’s clothes, they ran back towards her house.

They dropped on to her doorstep, laughing so hard that they both had tears in their eyes.

“No matter what, we always gotta get into trouble together!” Jem said, smiling at her.

“Of course, it wouldn’t feel right with anyone else, Jem,” she managed through her laughter.

“No kidding,” Alexi added.  “It’s not right getting into trouble without you two beside me.”

Sobering up, Jem’s smile turned sad.  “Never forget me, okay guys?”

“What do you mean Jem, are you going somewhere?” she asked.

Alexi was watching Jem, worried.  “You better not be leaving us, Jem.”

“Just promise me,” he demanded, and both of them nodded. 

“You’re my best friend, Jem.  You’re the most important thing in my life.  I could never forget you,” she replied.

“Good,” he said.  “Never forget, Kyra.”

 

Kyra sighed, remembering those careless days when no one had worried and all was right in the world.  She swiped at the tears, still staring at the picture.  I miss you, Jem, she thought.  I miss you so much.

It felt so wrong to be alive without Jem next to her.  They had been together since the day they had been born, and to be separated…it physically hurt Kyra.  Swiping at the tears that were running down her cheeks, she stood up and grabbed her swimsuit, determined to put everything out of her mind.  No more drinking, she thought.  That just made this whole situation worse.

Changing quickly, she walked back downstairs.

“That girl has more moods…” she heard Nick saying.  “Changes every few seconds.”

Taking a deep breath and straightening, she continued to walk down the stairs, as poised as she could be, feeling like she was about to break down.

“Is the pool clean yet?” she said loudly, announcing her arrival.  “I really want to swim—“

She cut off as she realized that Lethe was, indeed, standing in the room with only swim shorts on and his arms crossed.  He looked pretty angry, so she assumed that he wasn’t exactly there by choice.  She quickly looked away, glancing at Azra and steeling herself.  He would not break her composure.

“Angel, we were thinking that maybe we shouldn’t swim…kinda getting cold for that and all…” Azra looked worried, but suddenly gasped as she caught the nickname.

Kyra’s eyes widened and she took a deep breath again, calming herself.

 

“My little Angel,” Jem whispered.

“Don’t call me that!” Kyra grinned through her annoyance.

“Angel,” Jem repeated with a knowing smile on his face.  “You are an Angel, you save people.  Don’t know how, but you do.  Even those of us beyond redemption.”

 

“Angel?” she heard the interest in Lethe’s deep voice.

“It’s an old nickname,” Kyra said, quietly, feeling her carefully constructed composure beginning to slip.  How odd, she thought.  Everything I’ve been through, and in two days these people break me.  Her voice hardened as she continued, “Nobody calls me that anymore.” 

“Well,” he said, just as coldly.  “Perhaps someone should start again, Angel.”

Kyra flinched visibly and stumbled back as if struck.  She felt tears prickle the back of the eyelids as she squeezed them shut, her hand going to her pounding head.  “Do not call me that,” she growled, glaring at him.

 

Running through the darkness, Kyra stumbled as her body began to give up on her.  Too bruised, too beaten.  Crying out, she tripped over something.  Glancing down, she found the one she had been searching for.

“Angel,” Jem whispered as she knelt down beside his battered body.  “I’m sorry.”

“No,” she said, tenderly stroking his cheek.  “You did nothing wrong.”

“They’re gonna come after you now…I gotta—“he struggled to get up.

“No, Jem,” she cut him off, pulling him against her.  “I’ll be safe.  Just rest now.”

“I’m sorry, Kyra, my angel,” his eyes pleaded with her for forgiveness.

“Why?” she smiled down at him, tears blurring her vision.

“Because I’m leaving you,” he coughed, then continued, “I’m so sorry.  You need to go on…follow your dreams.”

“What if my dreams are going somewhere that I can’t follow?” he looked at her meaningfully.

“Love you,” he said through his coughing.

“Shh,” she placed a finger against his lips.  “I love you, Jem.  I will find you again, I swear to you.  This is not the end, not for us.  We will be together soon, and then…”

“And then, nothing can separate us.”

She nodded, allowing the tears to come to her eyes.

“No one ever understood me like you do, Angel,” he managed, coughing some more.  His blood stained her shirt, mixing with her blood.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his body convulsing as the life slowly left it. 

Hanging he head, allowing the tears to fall on his now still form, her shoulders shook with sobs.  She had been too late.  She had failed him.

“I’m the one who’s sorry, Jem,” she whispered to him.  “I failed you.

Her throat tightened and ached in the knowledge that the boy had now gone where she could never follow him.  There was no happily ever after for him.  His eyes were staring far away at a place beyond her, to a place where she could not go.

 

“Kyra?” Azra was saying as Kyra slouched against the wall, still holding her head.  “Kyra!”

Kyra felt Azra touch her shoulder.  “I’m fine,” she mumbled.  “Just a bad headache.”  She shook Azra’s hand off her, standing up and looked Azra in the eye.

 “Hey, what’s up with that car?” Nick was asking, looking out the window. 

Kyra felt the blood drain out of her face, and saw Azra was visibly shaking.  “How long?”

“Two days,” Azra replied.  “I figured you’d seen it.”

“Haven’t really been looking out the window lately,” she muttered.  It was only a reminded that she was stuck inside, going stir-crazy.  Suddenly realizing they had an audience, she continued, “Shit, it’s cold in here,” she gestured down to her suit and the goose bumps on her skin.  Grabbing a sweatshirt off the armchair, she threw it on and rubbed her arms.

“You think it’s your ex?” Sarra questioned Kyra, and Kyra leveled her gaze on the observant girl.

“No,” she finally answered.  “It is definitely not him…”

“Your ex?” Freddy jumped in.

“They’re hiding from her ex-boyfriend,” Sarra replied for them, and Kyra couldn’t help but be amused by the sudden protective stance of the guys in the room.

“What did he do?” Nick wondered.

“He beat her up,” Sarra supplied and Kyra put her head in her hands, not sure whether to be amused or angry and the disclosure of personal information.

Jess stood up from his spot on the couch and said, “Well we can take care of him.”

“I don’t think you’ll need to,” Azra laughed.

“Why is that?” Nick asked, curiously.

“He’s—“

“So,” Kyra interrupted Azra.  “What are our options?”

“You could marry me!” Freddy announced.

Kyra looked him over for a moment, much to the obvious displeasure of the very quiet Lethe, then said, “Seriously, what are our options?”

Even Lethe cracked a smile at that.

“Ah, Kyra, you don’t know what you’re missing,” Freddy was even laughing.

“I guess I’ll just have to pine away for you for the rest of my life,” Kyra absently studied her nails.  “Besides, I was referring to finding something to do.  You have no idea how bored I am.”

“What happened to swimming?” Freddy asked.

Kyra shrugged.  “Still up for that?”

“Let’s do it,” Azra said.  “Don’t know why we haven’t tried it out yet…”

“Um, Az,” Kyra looked at her.  “The pool was disgusting.”

“Oh,” Azra laughed.  “That’s right, we weren’t that bored yet.”

Rolling her eyes, Kyra started down the stairs, ignoring Lethe.  She could feel him watching her, and it drove her nuts.  She wanted him so much it almost hurt.  Her head filled with thoughts of him and her in the pool before she shook it, trying to forget them.

“Kyra?” Azra said from right behind her.  Kyra glanced back and realized that she had stopped, but that they were the only two on the stairs.

“They all went to grab towels from the bathroom,” Azra said when she noticed Kyra’s confused look.  “I’m sorry about mentioning the nickname the guys had for you.  Jeez, it feels like I’m constantly apologizing.”

“Don’t worry about it, Az,” Kyra said.  “You shouldn’t have to apologize so much.  I’m sorry I’ve been so paranoid.”

“Stop it!” Azra looked alarmed.  “You shouldn’t be apologizing.  You’re right, and so far, that paranoia is the only thing that has kept us alive.  Please don’t apologize; it’s strange to hear that.”

Suddenly, Kyra felt a sudden wave of loneliness.  She looked at Azra for a moment, taking the time for once to truly look at the girl who had become her friend in the past few months.  They had never really been too close before Jem had died because Azra was rarely around.  But Nico had asked her look out for his “little cousin,” in his words, knowing that there was a possibility of her becoming a target as well and also that it would give Kyra some company.  Azra was nice, but she was Nico or Alexi, the only two left who could really give Kyra the comfort that she needed. 

She felt grateful to Azra, though, for sticking by her even though the other girl hated the need to keep a bag packed by the door just in case they needed to leave on a second’s notice.  Kyra knew that Azra despised the situation they were in.  Azra didn’t like to move around, to pick up and leave.  Azra was the kind of girl who liked roots.  She preferred to stay in one place and make a home, whereas Kyra, Nico, Alexi, and Jem had always dreamt of traveling the world and just seeing things.  The four of them had never liked staying in one place.  Maybe that’s why Azra never really came around, Kyra thought, then impulsively hugged the other girl.

“Thank you,” Kyra merely said before turning and heading back down the stairs.  She could hear the others pounding down the stairs behind them.

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Azra still standing in the same spot, looking shocked.  Kyra grinned at her and continued to the pool area.

Azra caught up to her just as she walked through the door, and the two stripped down and dove into the pool, not even waiting for the others.

“Hey,” she heard Freddy call as he appeared in the doorway.  “Not having all the fun without us, are you?”

“Oh, you know it!” Kyra laughed, throwing one of the balls that was floating near her at him.  He dodged and it hit Nick in the chest.

“Now that wasn’t nice,” Nick said as he picked the ball up off the floor and tossed it back into the pool. 

A splash near her told Kyra that Lethe had jumped in, followed by Sarra and the others.  Kyra tried to ignore Lethe’s presence, though she all of her senses were aware of him.  She wanted to look over at him, but fought the desire and turned to Azra.

“So what else should we do today?” she asked.

“Bored already?” Nick looked at her.

Kyra rolled her eyes in response.  “I’ve been bored all week.”

“Well, we could always go see what Nico left for us in the basement…” Azra suggested with a grin.

“Hey, Az, ew, okay?  Don’t bring me into your sick fantasies,” Kyra said with disgust.

“What?” Nick’s attention was caught as he treaded water beside them.

“My cousin is well known for his…interesting tastes.  And he often keeps things in the basement…” Azra tried to explain without laughing.

“That is so disgusting.  I really don’t want to know what he has down there,” Kyra shivered at the thought. 

That causes Azra to start laughing.  “Oh wow, I totally forgot about that…”

“I didn’t, so let’s drop it!” Kyra said, shaking her head.

“What are you two talking about?” Sarra asked.

Azra tried to calm down a bit, then explained, “Kyra got bored one day and decided to dig in the basement of the house she shared with the guys.  She had some stuff down there so she wanted to see if she could find it…and, well, she came across some of Nico’s sex toys.”

“Gah!” Kyra groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to forget.

“So, we’re sitting upstairs and suddenly we hear this scream and Kyra tears through the room to the kitchen where she proceeds to scrub her hands raw.  She looked like she was about to tear her eyes out,” Azra wiped the tears from her eyes from laughing so hard.

“Okay, you so did not see those pictures!” Kyra defended.

“It was hilarious,” Azra said.

Kyra nearly gagged and replied, “It was not!”  Then, thinking of suitable revenge for making her remember such things, she continued innocently, “At least I wasn’t the one who walked in on Alexi with Carly.”

“Who’s Alexi?” Jess asked.

“Nico’s brother,” Kyra answered.

Azra flinched and covered her eyes.  “That was horrible!  But you and Jem were worse.”

Kyra caught Lethe’s raised eyebrow out of the corner of her eye and saw Sarra’s interested expression, then laughed, but quickly sobered at the thought of her best friend.  “She didn’t mean it like that.”

“Oh shit,” Azra said when she realized how that had sounded.  “No, it never was.  Not that any of us really got it.”

“I don’t think anyone really understood us,” Kyra shrugged, trying to remain detached.

Azra noticed the lost expressions on the faces of the others and tried to explain.  “Well it’s hard to understand something like that.  Even harder to explain.  The two of them…it was weird.  They were so close; they knew everything about each other.  There wasn’t a secret between them.  If one of them was in trouble, the other knew immediately.”

Kyra listened, starting to lose herself in memories again.

 

To the outside looking in, it’s hard to understand.  To the inside looking out, it’s impossible to explain.  It just was.

 

She hadn’t realized she said the words until she didn’t hear anyone talking.  Everyone was watching her, contemplating.  Shrugging it off, forcing a bored mask onto her face, she said, “I read something like that somewhere once.  Don’t remember where, but when I saw it, I realized that it explained me and Jem.”

“You know,” Sarra interjected.  “You really…light up when you talk about your friends.”

“They were family to each other,” Azra explained, quietly.  “When all of their families left them, they stuck together.”

“Aren’t you…” Nick stopped talking as he understood the implications.

“My parents and my cousins’ parents didn’t exactly get along…so I rarely got to see them.  We weren’t there for my cousins when times got hard for them.”

Silence fell over the pool. 

“So you and these guys…” Jess began, seeming unsure as to what to say.

Kyra smiled softly.  “They were everything to me.  Jem and I had been together since birth, and we met Nico and Alexi when we were really young.  The others in the group joined us all pretty soon after I met Nico and Alexi.”

“It must have been hard enough to lose that Jem guy,” Freddy joined the conversation delicately.  “And then the other two left?”

“We…agreed it would be best to separate for awhile,” Kyra mumbled. 

“That must be tough,” Sarra was looking at her sympathetically.  “Obviously, you and Jem were really close, and losing him took a lot out of you.  And losing the only other two who you had…that’s not right.”

“It’s not fair, Kyra,” Azra agreed, sadly.  Kyra saw tears beginning to well up in her eyes.  Then, Azra started to lose it.  “The two of you could have been together forever; you should have been together forever!  You were supposed to have your happy ending together, remember?  But you never got the chance.”

“Stop it, Az,” Kyra finally reacted calmly, as she pulled herself out of the water and grabbed her towel.  She didn’t react angrily to Azra’s outburst with anger for the first time since Jem had died.

“Why?  Why did he have to die?” Azra cried out, following her.  “It’s not right!  He was always supposed to be there!”

As the others all got out of the pool and began to dry off, Kyra felt her self-control slipping, but not to anger this time.  The sadness that she had been fighting for so long was welling up and spilling over.  “Azra,” she heard the begging in her tone, knowing she was truly pleading for Azra to stop.  He had always been there.  Though he was always several steps ahead of them, he had always waited for them.  Her throat tightened and ached in the knowledge that her best friend had broken his promise and had now gone where she could never follow him.  What am I doing without you? she thought sadly.  Blinking hard, she fought the tears that tried to come out.  She wouldn’t cry.  Not for him.

Ignoring everyone else, she spun around and went upstairs.  She didn’t want to deal with people anymore that day.

Chapter Five

 

The next morning, Kyra was still awake.  She had been unable to sleep much, plagued by dreams of Jem's screams.  Her body shook with the abuse it was taking.  She knew she needed sleep, and that she should eat, as well, but sleep evaded her and the mere thought of food made her nauseous.  Finally, she pulled herself out of bed and wandered down the stairs, hearing the familiar voices from the living room.

“Don’t you people ever leave?” she muttered as she walked in and plopped down in a chair. 

“Here,” Azra said, handing her a cup of coffee, which she gratefully took.

Sarra watched her for a moment, then replied to her comment, “Well, the last time we left, you two hid in here and didn’t let us in for a week.  I’m figuring if we stay, that won’t happen again.”

Kyra raised an eyebrow at her remark, then rolled her eyes.  “And here I thought I was going to get away easy,” she said.

“Not likely,” Freddy chirped, walking into the room from the kitchen.  “Did you know that you have no food in your kitchen?”

Surprised, Kyra replied, “None?”

“Oops,” Azra said.  “I guess we forgot.”

For once, there was no extra explanation from Azra, which worried Kyra.  Looking at her friend, she saw that Azra was pale.  The girl had large circles under her eyes.  Looks like she slept as well as I did last night, Kyra thought.  Frowning, she began to worry.  She didn’t like that Azra was getting so affected by the whole situation.  The girl was always energetic, talkative, and friendly.  This morning she looked much like Kyra felt the last few weeks.

“Az, go back to bed,” she said.  “You need sleep.”

“So do you,” Azra yawned.  “But if you can manage weeks on end like this, I can manage one day.  Besides, someone has to play hostess, and I know you suck at that job.”

Kyra made a face at Azra and took another sip of her coffee.  Azra was right, she knew, but it still bothered her that Azra looked so bad.

“So, what are we doing today?” Azra asked.

“Sleeping?” Nick sarcastically replied.  “You both look like shit, and I know I didn’t sleep well.”

“Hey,” Kyra said.  “No one forced you to stay.”

“Not true!” Nick stood up and paced around the room.  “Sarra wouldn’t let anyone leave.

Realizing that even Lethe was still in the house as she heard his steps on the floor coming from the bathroom, Kyra felt her shoulders droop and her head lay back against the chair.  Closing her eyes, she rubbed her temples, fighting off another headache.

“Go to sleep, then,” she said.  “My room’s open, I doubt I’ll be in there any time soon, and there are a few guest rooms I think.”

“You think?” Freddy asked.

Kyra shrugged, still not opening her eyes.  “Not like I pay attention to that shit.”

A small smile crept across Nick and Freddy’s faces.  “Let’s go check it out,” Nick suggested, bounding up the stairs with Freddy and Jess right behind him.

Kyra winced at the noise.  It only made her head pound more than it had been.

“Are you all right?” she heard Lethe’s voice from behind her.  He sounded concerned.

Great, she thought.  The first words he’s really said to me in a week, and I can barely talk without making this damned headache worse.  She just nodded slowly, putting her head in her hands.

“You know,” Azra suddenly said.  “Jem—“

“Why are we talking about Jem again?” Kyra snapped.  “Can we please just go back to our whole not talking about him thing we had before we got here?”

“You don’t want to talk about him?” Sarra asked.

Kyra looked up, angry.  “No, I really don’t,” she replied, coldly.  “I want to move on. He’s gone, and talking about him won’t bring him back.”

“It’s not fair!” Azra was saying again, and suddenly, Kyra felt something break inside of her.  She realized that Azra, while she and Jem had never been that close, was hurting.  She was hurting for Kyra.  Azra knew the pain that Kyra was feeling; despite how well Kyra hid it. 

“Life isn’t fair,” she said.  “You know that.  Shit happens.  People die.  There are no happy endings for some of us, Azra.  Sometimes life changes drastically; but the sun still rises and the world still goes on.”

She looked out the window as silence fell over the room, not seeing anything in front of her.  All she could see was the past.

 

“I have a dollar!” Kyra shouted, victoriously, as she picked the dollar up from the ground.

“That’s kinda a crappy dollar…” Jem eyed the torn bill.

“Do you have a dollar?” she replied.

“Well no, but-“

“Then you should just shut up,” she interrupted him with a grin, and he laughed.

 

The tears came unbidden to Kyra, her heart breaking.  She blinked quickly, trying not to let them fall.

 

“Kyra, you are my rock!” Jem said with a smile.

Kyra looked at him for a moment, then said, “And I promise to weigh you down for the rest of your life.”

 

The conversation had started again around here; she could distantly hear the voices.  But she couldn’t get herself back to the present.

 

“Do you know anything about getting a horse to move?” Jem asked, atop a large horse.  “It won’t work!”

“Well yeah, there’s a little slot that you stick a quarter into,” she grinned up at him.

“Really?” he looked like a child on Christmas morning.  “Where?”

Blinking a few times, she realized he was serious.  An evil smile spread across her face as she replied, “Right under the tail.”

Jem began reaching for the tail.  Just before he grabbed it, a voice rang out, “Kyra Angelina Deveraux!  Jem, get your hand away from there, that is not how you make a horse move…”

 

She was barely aware of the small sigh that escaped her lips, or of the hands that were carefully directing her out of the room and up the stairs.

 

“By the way, are you ever going to give that back to her?” Kyra asked Jem, curious about their old enemy’s doll they had stolen years ago.

“Of course I am! …In pieces…” Jem shrugged in response.

 

She knew someone was helping her sit down, but she couldn’t see who.  She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.  All she knew was that it hurt.  It hurt to remember, but it hurt even more to forget.

 

“If you were my husband, I would poison your drink,” she scowled at her best friend.

“If you were my wife, I would drink it,” he shook his head at her.

“Promise?”

 

She missed him so much.  Slowly, she lowered her head, wishing that she could forget his voice, that she could get it out of her mind, but at the same time, she didn’t want to.  Again, she wanted Nico and Alexi so much that it hurt her even more knowing that it wasn’t them trying to comfort her.  Alexi had always been able to make her laugh when she was down and Nico had been the best one to talk to.  He always just listened, never judging, then would hold her until she felt better.  She missed both of them so much.

 

“Don’t wander off,” the tour guide was saying to the group.

“Does it count as wandering off if we know where we’re going?” Kyra whispered to her friends.

Jem took a moment to contemplate, then replied, “I don’t think so.”

“Breaking the rules on a technicality, what Kyra does best,” Alexi grinned at them.

“People really need to learn not to leave loopholes when dealing with you,” Nico laughed, his hand on her back as he attempted to direct her back towards the group before she found some way to get into trouble.

 

Suddenly, she recognized the feel of the large hands that were rubbing her back.  For a moment, she thought that Nico was there with her, but then realized the calm she had always felt in his presence was not there.  Her eyes finally refocused, seeing Azra sitting across from her, kneeling on the floor and looking scared.  Oh please, not him, she thought, squeezing her eyes shut.  She knew it was though.  Lethe was the one who had directed her from the room, and he was the one who was now trying to comfort her.

She started to lay her head back down into her hands, but a hand gently held her shoulders up.

“Drink,” she heard Sarra command as a glass of water was set in front of her.

A part of her wanted to ignore the order, to spit out a sarcastic reply, but she somehow didn’t have the strength at the moment.

“When is the last time she ate?” Lethe’s voice came from behind her, his hands still supporting her shoulders.

“I don’t know,” Azra struggled to think.  “I doubt it was much, even when she did.”

“I am here, you know,” she quietly said, taking a sip of water.

“When did you last eat?” Lethe knelt beside her now, carefully cupping her face with his hands.  He looked concerned.

A part of her wanted to tear her eyes from his so she wouldn’t have to feel, but she couldn’t.  “I don’t know.”

She tried to turn away and lay her head down, but he still wouldn’t let her.

“Hey Nick!” he called.

“Yeah?  Dude, this had better be good because I was trying to sleep,” Nick replied, walking into the room.  “She okay?”

“She needs food,” Lethe said.  “Take my car, go get some.  There’s nothing in the fridge.”

“Okay,” Nick looked surprised.  “Must be a damned emergency if you’re letting me take your car…”

She heard Nick yell to Jess, and then heard the door slam behind them. 

 “We’ve…well, I’ve been eating it all week.  Haven’t really left the house much,” Azra whispered, still watching Kyra.  “She’s up at such random hours that I never thought to check if she was eating.”

“She looks horrible,” Sarra was saying.  Kyra just listened, not feeling like contributing or even getting angry that they were treating her like she was invalid or something.

Lethe sighed, also still watching her carefully.  “She needs to eat, and then she needs to sleep.”

“No,” she finally said, not looking at any of them.  “I’m fine.”

She tried to stand up, but the pressure of Lethe’s hands on her shoulders kept her down.

“Damn it, Lethe, let me up!” she tried again.

“No,” he said.  “You are eating—“

“You have no right to order me around,” she lashed out at him.  The anger finally came, blessed fire flowing through her veins.  She didn’t care, anything to stop herself from feeling the pain.

“Don’t touch me,” she shouted, straining against him.

Lethe held fast, not moving.  “Stop it; you need to work through this, Angel.”

“Please don’t call me that,” she whispered, freezing.  “Please.”  There was only one person in the world that she wanted to hear that nickname from, and he wasn't there.

“You need to let it out,” he continued, turning her to look into his eyes.  “You’re killing yourself.”

She covered her face with her hands.  Everything was hitting her, all over again.  You broke your promise to me, she thought, wanting to scream, to cry, to pound on something.  But she didn’t.  She stood there, half frozen, only able to remember his words to her just before he went on to lose his life.  You told me you would always be here, you would always be with me, she thought on.  But you’re not here.  You’re gone, forever, because I was too scared to take the place I was meant to take.

She straightened up, taking her hands away from her face.  Everyone was watching her, worried expressions mixing with fear.

“Are you all right?” she heard Sarra ask.

“Yeah,” she said, feeling like she was about to collapse.  “I think I’m just gonna go back to bed.”

“You should,” Azra was saying through the haze.  “You look like you’re dead…”

 

“Jeez, Angel, get some sleep.  You look like you’re dead!” Jem said, grinning down at her.

“You’re not looking so hot yourself,” she muttered, glaring at him.  Her expression changed as she looked up at him.  “Maybe you shouldn’t go, Jem.  I’m the one who is supposed to meet him.”

“No,” Jem said, firmly.  “Not in your condition.  Go get some sleep.”

“Let’s both get some sleep,” she begged him.  “Let someone else go.  I have a really bad feeling about this Jem.  I don’t want to lose you.  We have so much to do…”

“Don’t worry,” he said with a soft smile.  “We have all the time in the world.”  He touched her cheek gently and then pushed her in the direction of her bed. 

He walked away, suddenly turning to walk backwards.  “I’ll be back,” he said, grinning at her.  She smiled softly at him, her heart pounding.  Somehow, she had a feeling she would never see him smiling again. 

 

Someone was lifting her into their arms, jolting her out of the hell of her memories.  “She needs to get to bed,” she head Lethe’s deep voice rumble through is chest against her body.

“No,” she started to struggle.  “No, I don’t want to sleep.”

“You need to,” she heard him say as he lowered her down towards the bed she feared so much.

“No, Lethe, seriously, don’t force her!” she heard Azra say and suddenly Lethe stopped.  He turned around and Kyra opened her eyes to see him looking at her friend, incredulously.

“Are you kidding?” he said.  “Look at her!  She’s about to collapse.  She can’t stand on her own, she’s obviously barely eating…How can you just sit there—“

“It will only make it worse!” Azra shouted back at him.  Kyra slid her hands up to her ears and buried her face in Lethe’s shoulder.  The shouting made her head hurt worse. 

“She needs—“

“What she needs,” Azra interrupted Lethe, fury in her voice, “is to be left alone.  Or better yet, what she needs is Nico or Alexi!”

“And why is that?” Sarra’s gentle voice came into the argument.

“Because they’re the only ones who can deal with her, now that Jem’s gone,” Azra said.  “Without Jem, there’s no way to get her to do something she doesn’t want to.  Trust me when I say she will take off if you force her.”

“So what do these guys do to deal with her?” Lethe asked sarcastically, putting extra emphasis on the word deal.

“Jealous?” Azra said in a catty tone, raising an eyebrow.

Lethe looked at her for a moment, then replied, “You must be spending a lot of time with her, you’re picking up her mannerisms.”

“Seriously,” Azra continued.  “Let her be.  Unless one of my cousins miraculously shows up, there’s no getting through to her.”

“She is still here, you know,” Kyra mumbled.

“I have to try,” Lethe said.

“No,” she muttered, struggling again.  “Put me down.”

To her surprise, Lethe complied.  “And Azra, just shut up,” she continued.  “How many times lately have we had the ‘stop talking’ conversation?”

“Kyra, he may have a point, though,” Azra began.

Kyra looked at her, confused.  “You were just telling him to leave me alone; maybe you should take your own advice.”  She turned and stalked towards the kitchen.

“You’re hurting yourself, Kyra,” she heard Lethe say behind her, making her stop in her tracks.  “If we can see it so quickly, then maybe you should trust us.”

“Who are you?” she spun around and, finding him right behind her, shoved at him.  “Why do you care?  You don’t know me; you have no reason to trust me!  Two days and suddenly you think you have the right to care?”

“Angel—“ he said, grabbing her fists gently.

“Don’t call me that!  You have no right to call me that!” she knew it was happening, she was finally breaking down.  The tears were falling down her cheeks.  Even as she struggled against him, Lethe pulled her against his chest and held her tightly as she sobbed.

“God damn it,” she muttered through her sobs and she gave up, relaxing against his chest and letting it out.  She clung to him, gripping his shirt tightly in her hands, shoulders wracking with sobs.

His hands were soothing, one rubbing up and down her back and the other running through her hair.

“Stop it,” she mumbled.

“Stop what?’ he asked softly, still calming her as best as he could.

“Stop caring,” she tried to push back away from him.  “Please, don’t care about me.  Please…”

“I can’t help it,” he said.

She glanced around and realized that he had moved them into the kitchen to give them some privacy.

“Please,” she whispered again, giving up the struggle again and allowing him to pull her back into his arms.

“Let me help you,” he said to her, squeezing gently.

“You can’t help me,” she replied.  “No one can help me.”

“Give us a chance,” he said.  “I know you just met us, it’s smart not to trust people so quickly.  But you need to trust someone.  You need to get whatever happened out; otherwise this whole situation will get worse.”

“I won’t bring anyone else into this,” she replied, softly.  She couldn’t help but allow herself to be lulled into calmness by his caresses.

“You may not have a choice,” he said.  “I know someone’s looking for you.  Let us help you, Kyra, please.  We can help.”

“How?” her voice lowered to a hopeless whisper.  “How can you help us?  They’ll just kill you too.”

“Trust me,” he breathed into her ear, and she shivered.  Memories of the night they had spent together came to her, distorted by the alcohol but there nonetheless.

“You should hate me,” she said.  “After last week, you should hate me.”

He chuckled.  “You know I see right through your little front,” he said.  “You may have gotten to me that morning, I’ll admit you are good at pushing people away, but I still see through it.”

“No,” she said, once again trying to move away.  “I can’t…I won’t.”

He still wouldn’t let her go.  “Let us help you,” he urged again.

She paused, then turned away from him.  “Please let me be,” she begged.  “I just need to be alone for a bit.”

Sighing, Lethe stepped back and stalked out of the room, followed by everyone else.  Azra paused at the door and said, “If you need anything, let me know.”

She nodded, looking at her friend miserably before leaning against the wall.  Azra left.  For a moment she just stood, then allowed herself to slip down the wall to the floor and let go.  She wept for the boy Jem had been and the man he would never be, the life he would never lead, and all that might have been.  His voice was a whisper of the past, a whisper she missed more than anything in the world.  She cried for her best friend, now lost to the world.  She cried for the loss of Nico and Alexi, for herself, for Azra, for her guilt.  She cried until there was nothing left.

Eventually, she must have cried herself to sleep.  Vaguely, she felt Lethe carefully uncurling her body and picking her up.  He carried her to her bed, whispering words of comfort in her ear as she fell asleep once more.

Chapter Six

 

When Kyra awoke, she was warm, wrapped in blankets and in someone’s arms.  Glancing up, she saw Lethe, still asleep.  She studied his profile for awhile, noting just how handsome he really was, until he finally stirred.  Opening his eyes, he looked down at her.  Neither said a word, neither sure of what to say.

Slowly, she reached her hand up and touched his cheek.  His eyes fluttered shut at her gently caress.  As she started to pull her hand back, he reached up to hold it in place for a moment before moving it to his mouth and kissing her palm.  It was her turn to close her eyes, allowing the feelings to overtake her.  The butterflies in her stomach, the little flutters in her heart as he continued to kiss, gentle little kisses on her wrist.  Then, his lips moved to her cheek, her eyes, and her lips.  Unable to resist, she kissed him back, unyielding, pressing her body closer to him.  The only thing she was sure of at that moment was that she wanted him.

Then, it stopped.  He pulled back and just held her, despite her little groan of protest.

“We won’t continue until you apologize,” he finally said.

“Apologize for what?” she asked.

He smiled down at her.  “For pushing us all away.”

“Then it’s going to be a long time before we continue,” she replied, looking up at him.

“How long?”

“Forever.”

“I’d wait that long for you,” he said, softly, his eyes full of emotion.

She wasn’t sure how to reply to that.  She felt herself immediately tense up at the intimacy, fear welling in her heart.  She couldn’t bring him into this.

He wouldn’t let her pull away though.  He wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her head against his shoulder, just holding her.

How long has it been, she wondered, since someone just held me?  The suspicions rose, though, overtaking the feeling of contentment that had been hers for an instant.  Suddenly, she was worried.  What does he want?  What if he’s in on it?

“Stop it,” he commanded, slowly running his hands through her hair.  “Stop convincing yourself to push me away.  Please, Kyra, just let it be.  Just for now.  We can deal with everything else later.  Just…let go, please.”

For some reason, she trusted him.  She relaxed, letting her body melt against his, allowing herself to enjoy the feeling of his hands.  She knew it would hurt more later, to get him out of the scene before anyone caught on and tried to use him, but she knew she needed this, just this one moment.  Something to hold on to, forever, to remember.

Sighing blissfully, she kissed his shoulder before allowing herself to fall into sleep again.  Just as she drifted off, she noticed that she hadn’t woken from any nightmares.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The next time Kyra woke up, she was still in Lethe’s arms and light was streaming through her window.  Carefully sliding out of his grip so as to not wake him up, she slipped into the bathroom to take a shower.  She felt better after so much sleep, but at the same time, she felt emotionally drained.  Letting out the tears, the pain, the heartache that had been hidden deep inside her since Jem had died so many months ago was supposed to be a good thing, but somehow, to Kyra, it didn’t seem like it.  She felt more lost than she had before.  Depression was weighing down on her soul.  She tried to shake it as she stepping into the shower unsuccessfully.

The warm water ran over her, relaxing her muscles.  She knew that the loss was made that much worse by splitting the group us.  Alexi had disappeared one way, and Nico another, both asking her to take their cousin Azra with her for safety.  Once again, Kyra wondered if it was more for company, in hopes that Azra would be able to help her with the depression they knew Kyra was hiding.  She wasn’t sure what reason exactly, but she did know that so far they had been lucky.  Azra hadn’t been connected to the three of them.  There was still a chance that Azra could split off as well and live a normal life.

Again, her thoughts turned to Azra and how well the girl was dealing with the situation.  She knew that Azra hated the travel, the worry, and the need to be ready to leave at any moment.  Azra was the type who liked to settle down and have a family.  Kyra loved the idea of travel, of the freedom to just go, but she hated the circumstances she was in.  Running away was not something she liked to do, but until they figured something out, some was to deal with the situation, she would have to continue.

Sighing, she stood under the water, rinsing off the soap, still not moving even after it was long gone.  She leaned against the wall and rested her head on her arm, trying to figure out how things had turned so bad.  She knew she would have to explain it sooner or later to Lethe, Sarra, and possibly the others.  She owed it to those three at least, after putting them through her mood swings, avoiding their questions, and breaking down like she had.  But where did it all begin? she thought, trying to narrow it down.  The first thing that came to her was her ex-boyfriend.  It had really started with him and his stupidity.

Finally turning off the water, she stepped out and dried off, dressing quickly.  She opened the door to find Lethe leaning against the frame, waiting for her.

“How long have you been waiting there?” she asked, stepping back.

“Long enough.  Feel better?” he inquired.

She shrugged and slipped past him, pulling on a sweatshirt she grabbed off the floor.  “Look…” she began, but she wasn’t sure what to say.

“What?” he prompted, his guard suddenly up.

She shrugged, miserably.  “I don’t know.  I don’t know anything anymore.”  She hung her head.

“What don’t you know?” he asked, taking a careful step towards her.

She shrugged again, refusing to look up.  She wasn’t sure about anything anymore, she hadn’t been lying.  She longed for a time that hadn’t been so long ago, though it felt like ages, when life had been easier.  When Jem had been alive, and she, Jem, Nico and Alexi were safe and happy.  Sighing, she leaned against the counter.  Life had gotten so complicated so quickly.  And Lethe stepping into the equation only made life harder.

“Talk to me, Kyra,” Lethe stepped in front of her and placed his hands on her arms, rubbing gently.  “Please, just talk to me.”

“What is there to talk about?” she asked, finally lifting her head to look at him. 

One of his hands drifted up to caress her cheek.  “Whatever is on your mind,” he said.

“Lethe,” she turned her head to the side.  “There’s far too much on my mind to even begin to explain.”

His hand reached for her cheek again, but she continued to evade it.  “Why won’t you talk to me?”  He sounded hurt.

“There’s nothing to tell,” she replied.

“That’s bullshit,” he interrupted.  His eyes flashed, anger and sadness intermingling in them.  “Why can’t you tell me?”

“Because I don’t know you,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut, knowing that this was going to hurt him more.

“Give me a chance, here, Kyra,” he stepped back from her.  “I know you’ve been hurt and that there’s a lot going on in your life, but don’t I even deserve a chance?”

Kyra looked away again, crossing her arms over her chest.  She knew that saying something would only make it harder on him.

“It sounds like breakfast is ready,” he said, looking down at her.  She nodded and turned to go, but suddenly found herself wrapped up in his arms.  His lips crashed against hers.  Then, just as quickly, he was gone, headed down the stairs.

Damn, she thought, stunned for the moment.  There was definitely chemistry.  Of course, anyone could see it just by standing in the same room as the two of them.  And for some reason, she trusted him.  Damn! She thought again.  I’m falling, and hard.

Fear coursed through her, knowing exactly what it meant for both of them.  He was in danger so long as she cared for him.  If anyone found out, they would use him against her in any way possible.  There was no way he would be let off with a quick death.  Her caring for him condemned him.

Following him down the stairs, troubled, she barely noticed Azra, Sarra, Jess, Freddy, and Nick at the table as she sat down.

“So, I suppose we should explain, huh?” Azra said, drawing Kyra out of her worries.  She raised an eyebrow at her friend, nodding slowly, giving her permission to tell what she felt they needed to know.  Kyra figured Azra was going to tell them anyway.

“Kyra,” Azra said, “maybe you should do it.  You know more than me, anyway.”

Closing her eyes and gathering her thoughts, she sighed again, then took a deep breath.  “Look,” she began.  “This is a long story.  I’ll do my best to explain everything, but I may miss some.  Shit, Az, will you just start it?  I don’t know where…”

“Yeah.  All right,” Azra nodded.  “I suppose I’ll start by explaining a few things.  There’s a lot to it.  Kyra, Jem, and my cousins, Alexi and Nicolai, all grew up together.  I visited my cousins from time to time, so of course, I met Jem and Kyra since the four of them were rarely apart.  Jem and Kyra had pretty shitty homes by the time I met them.  Kyra’s father abandoned her and her mother not long after Kyra was born.  Her mother worked constantly and was never around.  I guess she blamed Kyra for her father leaving.  And Jem’s father was never there in the first place, a one night stand I guess.  His mother just disappeared one day.  He came home from school, and she was gone.  So, they spent a lot of time at Alexi’s and Nico’s.  My aunt and uncle felt bad for them, they didn’t want Kyra and Jem living in empty houses, so they set up a room for the two of them.  Kyra, Alexi, and Jem were always getting themselves into trouble, and Nico would always be the one to get them out of it.  They were really close.  There were a few others they hung out with, too, but they weren’t around as much when I was there.”

Kyra smiled softly, remembering the group who had often joined the four on their escapades.  The friends who had been there, though not as close as the original four, but part of the “family” they had regardless.  “Tanis, Ransom and Gamble, Selarah, Zaki, Ayla, and Kazia,” she said with a smirk.  “I miss them.”

“They were the closest thing to family as most of them really had,” Azra continued, mirroring Kyra’s thoughts. 

“We were a family,” Kyra stubbornly corrected.  “Not ‘the closest thing,’ but a family.”

“They stuck together.  The rest of the group was here and there, they didn’t stick as close as Kyra, Jem, Nico, and Alexi, but they were family,” Azra emphasized the last word for Kyra, then continued, “If any of them were in trouble, you can bet that they would all be there immediately, no questions asked.”

Kyra knew it was time to step in.  “Not exactly true.  We were family; we stuck together through high school.  After Tanis, Selarah, Gamble and I graduated, we split up because,” she glanced at the others in the room, then decided that was a subject she wasn’t ready to go in to, “…of various reasons.  Back to the four of us though.  I was the youngest.  Nico’s five years older than me and Alexi is two years older.  When I was sixteen, things got pretty bad.  Nico’s and Alexi’s parents died in a car accident.  They had it pretty tough at that point, and they both got pretty busy with work to distract themselves.  Jem was working a lot too so he could save up for a place of his own.  I was lonely.  That’s when I met a guy named Scott.  Things were okay at first, he gave me someone to be with.  He was very controlling and jealous, especially of me and the guys.  He specifically focused on Jem.  Like we said before, no one really understood my relationship with Jem.  Little by little, Scott managed to get me away from them.  So eventually I ended up living with him in his house.  I guess I felt like I needed a place to stay, and I always felt bad about my imposition at Nico’s and Alexi’s, I hated that they were supporting me.  So I went with Scott.  He…used that to control me, and a lot of other things he learned about me as well.  I supposed I let my pride get in the way of asking for help.  Eventually, it got to the point where I was afraid to leave because I knew it would just piss Scott off.  Jem, Alexi, and Nico eventually got me out of there, not without beating the shit out of Scott, of course.”

“The guys said she was pretty beat up when they found her,” Azra cut in.  “And they always were really protective.”

“So anyways, Scott had an older brother who was…well, he had connections.  Sammy’s in with some pretty nasty people, not that he’s a nice person either.  That’s one of the things that kept me with Scott.  Sammy threatened to hurt Jem, Nico, and Alexi if I didn’t.  But Sammy took it as a personal insult when Scott got his ass kicked.  So he had his little friends grab me, and they got Jem too.  They locked us up in a warehouse.  They beat us a lot, I was locked in one room and I could hear Jem screaming.  I finally managed to get out and find him, but it was already too late.  He was…” she shivered, remembering the state of her best friend’s body.

“He was barely alive when I found him.  He died in my arms,” she continued, staring at the table.  “I don’t know how long I sat there with him, but Nico found me and made me leave.  I have no doubt that Alexi was around somewhere, because just after I got out, the building…”

She stopped, glancing at Azra.  She didn’t want to say it.

“They’re the ones who blew that thing up?” Azra exclaimed, in both awe and fear.  “So you didn’t know if they survived?  And you didn’t tell me!”

“I didn’t know until Nico called right after we got here,” she mumbled.  “And…well, he didn’t actually say anything about Alexi, but he did say something that makes me think Alexi’s okay.  I don’t know for sure, though…”

Azra stared at her.  Neither girl knew exactly what to say.

“I get the feeling you’ve left out a lot of details here,” Lethe stated, interrupting their silence.

Kyra looked at him, and honestly replied, “Look, we still don’t really know you.  It’s bad enough we’ve told you what we have.”

“You think they know where we are, don’t you,” Azra said, more of a statement than a question.

“We haven’t heard from Nico again, he should have called by now,” Kyra said.  “There have been weird cars parked for days outside of the house.  And now, we’ve brought our new neighbors into something you shouldn’t even be in on.  I don’t know anything anymore.”

“They would come after us?” Nick asked, seriously.

“If they thought it would get me, Alexi, or Nico, they would do anything,” Kyra said.  “They’ve killed little kids, they attacked innocent people.  I doubt there’s anything they wouldn’t do if it was means to an end.”

“And they know that if they get one of the three of you, the other two will come after them,” Lethe said.

“Damn straight,” Kyra leveled her stare at him.  Her mind had already been working out plans to find her two friends.  She already suspected that they had been caught.

Azra shook her head, “Kyra, please don’t go.  You don’t know if anything is wrong yet.  Please, let’s stay here.”

Kyra watched her friend, suddenly understanding by the way Azra glanced at Nick.  Azra liked it here a lot, Kyra had already known that.  But this new development…it looked like Nick was as interested in her as she was in him. 

“Azra, if we stay…if I stay, they will come.  You won’t get some happy ending that you want,” Kyra warned.

“Then I better go pack, because you’re not leaving without me,” Azra stood up.

Lethe slammed his hand on the table to get their attention.  “Hold on a minute,” he said, motioning for Azra to sit.  “We don’t know if they are here or anything yet.  There’s no need to run off on a hunch.”

“Running off on a hunch, as you put it, has kept us alive,” Kyra growled, angrily.  “This isn’t some game we’re playing at here.  It’s not just my life anymore.  It’s mine, Alexi’s, Nico’s, Azra’s, and now all of yours.  You really want to play this?”

Nick looked a bit sick, then nodded.  “If they show up, we can help you.”

Kyra rubbed her temples, feeling the headache building.  “And what, exactly, do you propose to do when fifty men, armed with more weapons than you can imagine and trained to use them on anyone?”

“We can hide you,” Lethe said, protectively draping an arm over her chair.

“And when they kill you to get to me?” she asked.  “Don’t think they will believe you for a second.  You guys don’t seem to understand just how bad this situation is.  They will do anything to get me.  Whatever happened, Sammy is in charge now and he wants me.  God knows what exactly he will do when he gets his hands on me…and don’t mistake that, when is the right word.  I’m not going to try to pretend that he might not find me.  Eventually he will.  And if I’m here, he will kill all of you with me.  Shit, he’ll probably do worse.”

“What’s worse than death?” Jess asked, boldly.

“A lot of things,” she said, sadly.  “By the time they get started, you will be begging them to kill you.  Trust me, I was there…twice.”

Silence filled the room.

“So what do we do?” Lethe asked.  “You two leaving is out of the question.”

“What did I tell you about orders?” Kyra glared at him.

Azra stepped in to avoid another argument.  “Please, Kyra, let’s stay.  I know that your intuition here has saved us more times than I can count, but maybe it’s safe here.  I really want to stay.”

Kyra looked at all the pleading faces around her, then caved.  “Fine,” she mumbled.  “I really hope I don’t have to tell you I told you so.”

Azra shouted with glee and jumped across the table to hug Kyra, who shied away from the affection.  Luckily, Azra moved on to everyone else in the room.  Kyra just stepped back to watch as everyone talked excitedly, making plans.  Yeah, a real-life adventure, Kyra thought, wryly.  They didn’t understand, she knew that much.  Even Azra didn’t understand.  The condensed story hadn’t been told just for the sake of doubt of her new neighbors, but also because she knew that Azra wouldn’t like the whole story.  She knew that Azra suspected there was more, but she would never tell her.  Azra was innocent in this still; there was still a chance for her.

Walking out of the room and going back upstairs to lock herself in her own room, Kyra couldn’t keep her thoughts off the reality of the situation.  Where had it all began?  The question plagued her still.  She knew part of it had started with meeting Scott and Sammy, but she had a nagging feeling there was more to it than that. 

 

“Let her go!” Jem shouted as the men held him down.  Sammy stood over him, merely glancing in Kyra’s direction.

“I don’t think so, Jeremiah,” he replied, calmly.  “You still have something that belongs to me.  Since you won’t tell me where it is, I’ll just kill both of you.  Do you want to know what I will do to Kyra after you die?”

“Don’t you touch her,” Jem growled, fighting against the men as the chains were locked around his limbs, holding him down.  The men backed off.

Two men still held her, keeping her in the spot she was in.  “I don’t think you are in a position to be giving orders,” Sammy was saying.  “You will continue to pay for your mistake.”

  Jem surprised them all by laughing.  “Do your worst.”

Jem’s eyes met hers as Sammy began to carve her friend, slowly killing him.  She couldn’t scream, couldn’t even move.  All of the fight in her that had been there just moments before was lost.  Yet, the smile still remained on Jem’s face.  He knew something she didn’t.

Just as Sammy began to slit Jem’s throat, an explosion rocked the building.  The men holding her ran, as did the others in the room.  Sammy was screaming at them, chasing after them.  Kyra could only slowly walk to her friend.  He had been buying time, she realized.  He knew they were coming for them, but that they wouldn’t get there in time to save both.  So he had sacrificed himself to save here.

“Oh, Jem,” she cried out as she fell to her knees beside him, gently pushing strands of hair off his face.  He was dying.

 

Kyra sighed softly, reaching into her nightstand to find the picture of her and Jem.  She ran her finger over their smiling faces sadly.  “Why, Jem?  Wasn’t there another way?” she whispered.  Guilt ate at her.  He had died to save her life.  If it hadn’t been for her stupid mistake in trusting Scott in the first place, he would probably still be with her now.  Sammy wouldn’t have killed him, she wouldn’t be running away, and everything would be okay.  Not only had had died for her, but he had died because of her.

The glass covering the picture was getting wet.  Tears, she realized, touching her cheek.  She was crying again.  “I’m so sorry, Jem.  I failed you.”

A knock at her door interrupted her thoughts.  She glanced up, knowing she had locked it.  The door handle jiggled as the person tried to get in.

“Kyra?” she heard Lethe’s voice.  “Let me in.”

Closing her eyes, she lay back on her bed.  She wanted to let him in, to let him hold her and distract her from this pain.  But she couldn’t make her body move.  Fear, she knew, was holding her hostage.  Fear that Lethe would end up like Jem because of her.  Fear that another death would mark her soul, just as Scott had marked her body. 

“Kyra, please open up,” he said, softly this time.

A battle waged within her.  Before she could make a decision, though, the lock popped and the door swung open to reveal Lethe leaning against the doorframe.

“Can I help you?” she asked, trying to hide her tears from him. 

He sighed and walked to her, taking her in his arms.  “Let me help you,” he whispered in her ear, gently rubbing her back as he had the night before.  “Please.”

“It’s bad enough talking to you,” she said, pulling back.  “Don’t you realize what’s going on?  By even feeling the slightest bit of anything towards you, I’m signing your death warrant.  They will come after you, Lethe, because I care about you.  And they will hurt you more than anyone because they know that it would get to me.”

“Is that your way of saying that I matter?” Lethe asked, grinning.

“This isn’t a joke,” she turned to look out the window.  She froze when she realized that it was open.

“Did you open that this morning?” she asked slowly.

Lethe looked at the window, then shook his head.  “No.”

Kyra held her breath as she looked around the room, her eyes stopping on the closet door that was cracked open.  “I know that wasn’t open,” she whispered, taking a step towards it and reaching for the knife in her pocket.

“Let me,” Lethe grabbed her arm and tried to put her behind him, but she yanked herself free, sending him a look.

“This is my house and you are the one in danger,” she replied, taking another step.

Lethe reached to stop her again, but she dodged away.  “Damn it, Lethe, you’re distracting me and I need—oomph!”

She began fighting immediately as someone shot out of the closet and latched onto her, easily disarming her and holding her knife tightly against her throat.

 

Chapter Seven

 

“You’re losing your touch,” a deep voice muttered into her ear before she was turned loose.

Kyra spun around to see Alexi leaning back against the wall, eying Lethe.  “You know better than to let someone distract you, Kyra,” Alexi continued, running a hand through his golden hair and tossing the knife back to her.

Kyra stood in shock for a moment before screaming and throwing at her friend.  She felt his arms wrap around her, clutching her to him.  He didn’t let go even as the thunderous steps of the others sounded through the house.  Another scream came from behind them.  Kyra stepped back from Alexi to let his cousin at him, still in shock.  She couldn’t believe he was there, standing in front of her. 

His eyes never left hers, even as he hugged Azra.  He looked like he was in as much shock as she was.

“Oh, Alexi!” Azra was shouting.  “You’re okay!  We’ve been so worried!”

Alexi disentangled himself from Azra before tugging Kyra back to him, still keeping an arm around his cousin.  “I’m fine, Az,” he was saying while burying his face in Kyra’s hair.

Kyra didn’t move, holding on to Alexi as though he would disappear if she let go.  “I missed you,” she whispered.  “I missed you so much!”

“I’m here now, kiddo,” he was saying to her, letting go of Azra so he could engulf her in his arms again. 

“If you ever leave me like that again—“

“I won’t,” Alexi interrupted Kyra, giving her another squeeze before pulling back a bit.  He held her at arms length, looking her over, then continued, “Never again, kiddo.  You’re stuck with me now.”

A grin spread across her face.  “Good,” she whispered, and stepped back into his arms. 

“Where’s Nico?” Azra finally interrupted their reunion.  “Is he okay?”

As Alexi moved slowly away from Kyra, still keeping a hand on her lower back, she noticed a flash of worry in his eyes.  He quickly covered it up and looked at his cousin.  “We split up after the…”

Alexi glanced around the room, taking in the people he had obviously already known were there.  “We split up,” he finally said, eyeing everyone.  “How much do they know?”

“What do you think?” Kyra rolled her eyes.  “You and Azra both can’t seem to keep your mouths shut.”

Alexi looked dismayed for a moment before fully comprehending her comment.  Then, amusement crossed his handsome features.  Pulling her close again, he kissed her forehead, then he was gone and running down the stairs.  “Hope there’s food in this house, ‘cuz I’m starving!” he shouted over his shoulder.

Kyra laughed and turned to everyone else in the room. “And you all say I’m bad at avoiding questions.  Az, you better get down there and make sure he doesn’t eat everything in the kitchen.”

Azra took off down the stairs after her cousin, followed by everyone else except Lethe.  Kyra looked at him for a moment.  He looked angry…possibly jealous, she realized.

“So that’s Alexi?” he asked, walking towards her.  “If that’s how you greet him, I don’t know if I want to be around for your greeting to this Nico guy.”

“Jealous much?” Kyra raised an eyebrow.  “Alexi’s been like a brother to me all my life.  He and Nico are all I have left.”

“What about Azra?” Lethe asked.

Kyra sighed.  “Azra is awesome.  I love her; she’s stuck with me even though she hates this kind of life.  But she doesn’t know me like Nico and Alexi know me.  She won’t be brought into my life any more than she has to be if I can help it.  She deserves a chance to be safe, to settle down and have her happy ending.”

“And you?” Lethe was close now, his hands moving to her arms.

“There is no happy ending for someone like me,” she replied, honestly.  “Lethe, I don’t want you getting any false notions about you and me.  I care about you a lot, but I can’t promise you anything.  Even if I wasn’t in the situation I am in now, I wouldn’t be able to give any promises.  I’m not that kind of girl.”

“So what are you saying?” he asked, his grip on her arms tightening.

“I’m saying I can’t promise you that I’ll be here tomorrow,” she said.  “I’m saying that there are no guarantees in my life, and that if we keep going with this, I’m only going to end up hurting you, not to mention what could happen to you if Sammy and his friends get wind of this.”

“I’ll take that chance,” he replied, huskily.

She looked up at him.  “I’m not sure I’m willing to take the chance, though.”

“Are you worried about getting hurt again?” he asked, stepping away.

“No, I’m worried about getting another person I care about killed!” she snapped, then winced.  She hadn’t meant to say that.

Kyra could feel his eyes on her, and though her back was to him, she could almost see the surprise on his face.  Then, his arms were around her waist, pulling her to him.  She let her head rest back against his shoulder.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“Love?” she laughed derisively.  “Love is a luxury I will never have.”

“That’s not true, because you have it now,” he said.

“How could you know that?” she asked.  “You don’t even know me.”

“But you know that you love me?” he kissed her cheek gently.  “I just know.  I knew the minute I saw you.”

Her mind fought the idea.  “We’ve only known each other a week…”

“You just said—“

“I said that I care about you,” she interrupted him.

His lips were moving down her neck now.  “Can’t we just accept this?”

“No,” she said.  This time, she was the one to stop and pull away, even though she wanted him so badly that it hurt.  “I can’t just accept it.  I won’t deny that I want you, Lethe.  But that doesn’t make this love.”

“It sure is a hell of a start, though,” his smoldering eyes caught hers.  “Let me love you, Kyra.”

She closed her eyes, leaning back against the dresser behind her, and rubbed her temples.  “I don’t trust this, Lethe.  I don’t know what the hell is going on, I know nothing about you, yet there’s something about you that just makes me want to be with you.”

“Then be with me,” he stepped up against her, trapping her between him and the dresser.

“It doesn’t always work that way,” she said, laying her head against his chest.  He kissed the top of her head and held her.

“It can be if you let it,” he said.

“What do you want from me?” she whimpered.

He tilted her face up and kissed her lips, then replied, “Stay with me.  Let me protect you, let me take care of you.”

“Damn it, Lethe!” she pushed him back.  “Don’t you understand?  It can’t be like that!  Not only would you last about five seconds against Sammy before he killed you and everyone you loved, but I don’t work like that.  I can take care of myself; I don’t need to be protected.”

“Yeah, you sure proved that by getting yourself into this situation,” he shot back.

“Don’t you dare say that,” she shouted at him.  “You don’t know anything about this situation.  You have no right to judge.”  With that, she stormed out of the room and down the stairs, ignoring the sound of Lethe’s fist slamming against her wall as it echoed through the house.

Walking into the kitchen and grabbing the apple Alexi was just about to take a bite out of from his hand, chomping into it herself, she propped herself against the counter.

“Trouble in paradise?” Alexi cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow at her before stealing the apple back.

“Never was paradise,” she grumbled.

Laughing, Alexi wrapped an arm around her shoulders.  “Never could be with you.  You’re too volatile.  Seems that he is too.  He’ll prolly come downstairs and ignore you, especially if you’re near me.  He doesn’t seem to like me much.”

“He’s jealous,” she replied absently, taking the apple from him and taking another bite from it.

“I noticed,” Alexi’s dry reply came from behind her as he dug in the refrigerator for food.  “He cares about you.  A lot.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that it’s gonna get him killed if Sammy finds out, and it doesn’t change me.  He wants me to settle down with him and let him take care of me.”

“Day-um,” Alexi stood up and looked at her.  “He doesn’t know you at all then, does he?”

She shrugged.  “It’s a nice idea and all, but it’s not what I want.  Even if I didn’t have to hide out like this, I still don’t want to settle down like that.  I’m not ready for it.”

“Anyone who talks to you for five minutes knows that,” Alexi muttered, resuming his search for food.  “Why isn’t there anything to eat here?  Usually you keep food in a house, you know, sustenance?”

“I don’t know what to do, Alexi,” she said, putting her face in her hands.  “I really like him, but…sometimes I think it would just be easier to let it go and settle down.  He’s a good guy.”

Straightening and walking to her, Alexi rubbed her upper arms.  “Look,” he said.  “There are always two choices. Two paths to take.  One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy.  You would go nuts by the end of the first day and you know it.  You need your freedom.  You need a guy who will trust you, who will understand when you just up and leave.  You’ve always been like that, kid.  You’re a free spirit.  If this guy can accept that and still love you for it, then he’s the one for you.  But if he can’t…”

She looked at Alexi, really looked at him, and realized he understood more than he was saying.

“This happened with you and Carly, didn’t it?” she finally asked, breaking the silence.

He nodded slowly.  “She…God I loved her, Kyra.  Same situation, too.  I knew her for a short time and suddenly I knew that I loved her more than anything.  I…recognized her, I guess.  It was like I knew her already when I first met her.  But love isn’t always enough.  Two people who couldn’t be more wrong for each other could feel love deeper than imaginable.  Carly wanted the same thing that this guy wants from you—something that I’m not, something I could never be.  And then the whole thing with Sammy happened…well, it was better to just leave.  She deserved better.  It hurt like hell, but I knew that it would only hurt her more if I stayed.  And I didn’t want Sammy to get a hold of her…”

She tried not to look at sad and guilty as she felt.

“Ah, kiddo,” Alexi tightened his hold on her and pulled her into another bear hug.  “Don’t look like that.  It could work out yet.”

“It won’t,” she whispered.  “You know as well as I do that it won’t.  He wants someone who I can’t be.”

“Somehow, I doubt that’s gonna stop you from trying though,” he answered.  “What do you say to a walk?”

Something in the way he was watching her told her that he really needed to talk to her, but he didn’t want anyone else overhearing.

“Sure,” she said.  Leading him towards the front door, she bypassed Lethe as he came down the stairs and poked her head into the living room, where Azra and everyone were sitting.  “We’re gonna go for a walk,” she told them.

“Is it safe?” Azra stood up, looking worried.

Alexi looked everyone in the room over again, obviously not happy with the fact that they knew some of the story, and said, “Well, it’s not gonna get any safer any time soon, and I need to talk to Kyra.”

Azra didn’t look any less worried, but nodded and sat down.  Lethe plopped down onto the couch in the spot next to Azra, staring straight at the television and ignoring Kyra and Alexi.

“Told you so,” Alexi whispered in her ear, tickling her sides.

Jabbing her elbow into his stomach, she continued, though he was doubled over now on the floor, laughing, “We’ll be back soon.”

“Are you sure it’s not dangerous to take off with him?” Nick asked, looking suspicious.

“Hey, I’m not dangerous!” Alexi said, getting up.

“Alexi is about as dangerous as a worm,” Kyra managed to say without laughing.

“Hey!” Alexi glared at her.  “Come on now, of all the things you could compare me to, you do it to a worm?”

“I’m under pressure, it’s the first thing that came to my mind,” she shrugged.

“And when you thought of me, the first thing that came to your mind was a worm?” Alexi scowled at her.  “Why a worm?”

“Why not a worm?” Kyra asked.  “Worms have feelings too, you know.  I mean, I did just get to yours…”

“Don’t make me beat you,” Alexi growled.

“Oh please, you wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Kyra smiled sweetly.

“If its name is Kyra, I would,” he grumbled under his breath.

Azra looked at him incredulously for a minute, then asked, “You name flies?”

“Sometimes,” he admitted, shrugging.

Giggling, Kyra said, “I do too.  There’s this one, Bob, who lives in my room with me.”

“You two are so the poster children for the pro-choice campaign,” Azra said, shaking her head.

Kyra and Alexi looked at each other and burst into laughter, attempting to hold on to each other to keep themselves standing.  Failing miserably, they both fell to the floor in a heap. 

“There are so many things wrong with their reaction to that comment that I don’t even know where to start,” Jess was saying, looking at the two in confusion.  “That was an insult, wasn’t it?”

“Nico…” Kyra tried to speak, but couldn’t through her laughter.

Azra smiled, and said for Kyra, “Nico used to say that to the all the time.”

Alexi finally calmed down and carefully got himself off the floor, then reached down to pull Kyra up, who was still laughing.  “So, why are these people here again?”

“Neighbors,” Kyra managed to say through the remnants of her laughter.

“I’m Nick,” Nick introduced himself.

Alexi eyed the hand that Nick was offering, then looked at the smaller guy.  “Do you want a medal or something?”

Kyra smacked Alexi’s arm.  “Be nice.”

“But…” Alexi rubbed his arm and looked at her in confusion, “since when are we nice to people?”

“Good point,” she replied.  “Why do you keep looking at them like that?  It’s kind of creepy.”

Alexi was eyeing them again.  “Must be something in the water here,” he shrugged.  “They’re all so…short…”

“Just because they’re not the jolly green giant like you,” Kyra rolled her eyes, “doesn’t mean there’s something in the water.”

“Hey now, I’m the short one in the family,” Alexi defended himself.

“But you’re huge,” Sarra interrupted.

Alexi grinned, flexing his muscles.  “Why thank you,” he said, proudly.  “But Nico’s bigger than me.  ‘Sides, I’m only a little over six feet.  But, as stimulating as this conversation is, we need to be going on that walk now.”

“So that’s what we were supposed to be doing,” Kyra blinked.

“Well,” Alexi looked at her.  “At least this time you remembered that we were supposed to be doing something.”

“That sounded so wrong,” Azra muttered.

Laughing, Kyra replied, “Anything that he says sounds wrong.”

“Let’s go, Kyra,” Alexi was already by the door.

“Hold on a sec,” she said, running towards the stairs.  “I gotta grab my coat."

It took her a few minutes to find it.  When she started back down the stairs, she could hear Lethe and Alexi talking.

“Stop pushing her,” Alexi was advising Lethe.

“Who are you to tell me what to do about her?” Lethe snapped back.

Alexi’s voice turned cold, “I’m one of her best friends.  I’ve known her since she was six years old.  I think I understand her a bit better than you do.”

“Then maybe you can tell me what’s with this commitment issue,” Lethe was grumbling.  “She needs to be tamed.”

“Tamed?” Alexi was losing his temper, uncharacteristically.  “It’s not just a commitment issue.  Look, have you ever been to the zoo?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Lethe sounded pissed off.

“Just answer the damned question,” Alexi growled.

“Yes, when I was young.”

“You know, we went to this zoo once, years ago.  She was just a little kid, not even nine years old.  She got so depressed there, seeing all the animals caged, but when we got to the lion den, she almost went into shock and started balling.  When we finally got her calmed down enough, she practically went catatonic on us.  I remember hearing her say one thing, though, and that was that something was wrong with their eyes.  Later, I was able to get it all out of her.  Even at that age, she recognized her greatest fear: being forcefully tamed.  She had taken one look at the eyes of the lions and saw that they were dead; there was no spirit, no wild left.  They were only a shell of the magnificence that they were meant to be.  She doesn’t need someone to tame her, buddy.  She needs someone who loves her as she is, wild and free.  She doesn’t want to be caged.  She shouldn’t be caged.  I’ll die before I see her with the same look in her eyes as those lions.”

“Are you threatening me?” Lethe asked, sounding shocked.

“I’m warning you,” Alexi replied.  “You know, the whole experience drove her so nuts that a year later, she talked us into breaking in there and freeing them.  It never left her.  It scared me even, once I actually saw it.  And I won’t let anyone do that to her.  Scott tried it—“

“Which is what got her into this situation in the first place,” Lethe interrupted.

“You don’t know the first thing about ‘this situation’ so shut the hell up,” Alexi was really starting to lose it.  “I can’t understand why she cares for you, but she does.  You seem like an arrogant asshole to me.”

“Stop it, both of you!” Azra was interrupting now.  Kyra remained in her place at the top of the stairs.

“Alexi, from what I’ve seen, he’s usually not like this,” Azra continued.  “and Lethe, lay off.  You should listen to Alexi, because he’s giving you good advice.  He’s trying to give you and Kyra a fighting chance here.”

“Kyra!” Alexi bellowed.  “Let’s go!”

“Fine, fine,” she said, finally moving down the stairs.  “See you all later.”

She pulled her coat on and followed Alexi out the door and down the street, towards the park.  “So,” she finally said.  “What is it that you need to talk about?”

“Nico’s been caught,” Alexi said, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. 

Kyra froze in her tracks.  “What?” she nearly yelled.  “What happened?  When?”

“We…well, I wasn’t lying when I said we split up.  I just didn’t specify…” Alexi started, then paused and took a deep breath.  “We wanted to finish this, to get…rid…of Sammy so you didn’t have to run anymore.”

Closing her eyes, Kyra sighed.  She could see where this was going.

Alexi continued, “We were running, and I tripped.  Nico came back for me and helped me up, and suddenly they were all there.  He shoved me out the window and I got out of there, but they grabbed him.”

“Oh God,” she whispered.  “Why?  Why did you guys do that?”

“Kyra—“

“Alexi!” she interrupted him.  “You guys should have waited.  The three of us together could have pulled it off.  You should have followed the plan!  You guys made me promise I wouldn’t do something stupid like that, so why the hell did you?”

“I’m sorry, kiddo,” Alexi looked so guilty that Kyra’s anger faded.  “I didn’t mean to get him caught…”

“No, Alexi,” she put a hand on his arm.  “I didn’t mean it like that.  It’s not your fault.  You guys meant well, I just wish you had waited for me.”

“If we had, you prolly would be there too,” he said, looking down at her.  “We have to get him out, Kyra.”

“Oh yeah, we will,” she said.  “But we have to be careful.  They’re gonna expect us.”

“Careful?” Alexi replied, looking at her strangely.  “Since when do we do careful?”

Kyra smirked.  “You know what?  You’re right.  Fuck careful.  Let’s just get him back.”

The two grinned at each other and began walking back to the house.

 

Chapter Eight

 

 

That night, much to Lethe’s obvious displeasure, Kyra and Alexi locked themselves in her room to talk plans on how to get Nico out of Sammy’s hands.  They whispered deep into the night, then finally, unable to sleep, the left for another walk.

They still discussed some of their plans as they walked aimlessly around town.

“So we can’t agree on any sort of organized plan,” Kyra said, grinning at her friend.  “Not like that’s any different from normal.”

Alexi looked down the street.  “Perhaps we should move this to the park.  Less…”

Kyra noticed all of the people watching them and nodded in agreement.  The two walked on in silence, into the park, and sat on a bench near the river.

“It’s beautiful here,” Alexi said.

Kyra felt herself nodding again, then said, “Yeah, Azra loves it here.”

“Maybe…”

“We should leave her here?” Kyra supplied.  “I was thinking that too.”

“Well, we’re agreeing on something here,” Alexi laughed quietly.

“Bound to happen sooner or later,” she said.

“I’m sorry, kiddo,” Alexi was serious again.  “We shouldn’t have had you take her.”

“No,” she continued to stare out at the river.  “You guys were right.  She needed to get away, they would have grabbed her.  But…I think it’s safe here for her.  I think it will be okay.”

“She’s happy,” Alexi agreed.

“I think she should stay this time,” Kyra continued.  “I don’t think she’s up for this adventure.”

“So when do we leave?” Alexi asked.

Kyra thought for a moment before replying, “As soon as possible.  We need to get Nico out of there, Alexi.  When they had me and Jem, he was there immediately.  When Scott had me locked up, he was there.  I can’t leave him behind.”

“Your new…friend…isn’t going to like this,” Alexi said.  “Neither is Azra.”

At that thought, Kyra paused.  She didn’t want to hurt Lethe.  She knew she cared about him a lot, but what it came down to was that Nico was more important. 

 

“We make a promise, right here and right now,” Jem said.  “No matter what happens, no matter who we meet, the four of us come first.  We always have to stick together.  If anything happens…”

“I agree,” Nico said, picking up where Jem trailed off.  “Girlfriends…boyfriends…significant others will come and go.  But we stay together, forever.  Friends first.”

“Friends first,” Kyra repeated, nodding.  Then, she looked up at the three of them.  “Will we always be together?”

“Always, Angel,” Jem said.  “One way or another, we will always find each other.  And in the times we are separated, we will still hold a part of each other.  Forever.”

 “It’s not gonna be easy, now,” Alexi said.  “We’re gonna fall in love, and that’s gonna be hard to leave when one of us is in trouble.  It’s gonna be a hard choice in the end.”

“But a choice that has to be made, nonetheless,” Kyra replied.  “I made the wrong choice with Scott, and I won’t make that mistake again.  You guys always come first.”

Nico and Jem both smiled down at her, forgiving smiles that helped to relieve some of her guilt.  Alexi still seemed troubled. 

“Alexi, I’m sorry,” Kyra whispered.

“I don’t hold it against you, Kyra,” Alexi looked at her.  “Your position was different, you were threatened and you wanted to protect us.  I just…very few out there will understand this.”

“Then they aren’t right for us,” Nico said.  “If they are right, if they honestly love us, they will understand this.”

“So we always stick together, huh?” Alexi sighed.  “Shit, I knew I was stuck with Nico, but now the two of you, also?”

Laughing, Kyra nodded.  “Yeah, you’re stuck with us.”

Jem stuck his hand out into the middle of the circle and Kyra immediately put hers on top of his.  Nico’s came next, landing gently on top of hers, adding a small squeeze.  Kyra smiled at him, then looked expectantly at Alexi.

 “Together,” she said.

“Forever,” Jem added.

“You know…” Alexi started.

“Just put your damned hand in!” she smacked Alexi upside his head, the laughter echoing around them.

“No one can touch us,” Alexi said with his trademark smile, smacking his hand down on top of Nico’s.

 

“Then maybe we shouldn’t tell them,” Kyra finally said, lowering her head.  “Maybe we should just go.”

By the grim look on his face, Kyra knew Alexi had remembered the same thing she had.  “If they honestly love us…” he said.

She finished the thought, “They will understand.”

“Soon?” Alexi asked, reaching out to pull her to him.

“Soon,” she confirmed.  She hugged him tightly.  “He won’t understand will he?” she asked, sadly.

Alexi scrutinized her for a moment, the replied, “I don’t know.  Carly didn’t.”

“She didn’t?” Kyra was surprised.  She had always figured Carly understood their group.

“Kyra, few people understand this kind of thing,” Alexi explained.  “We were always lucky.  We had each other; we had a devotion to each other that few people ever experience.  No one has ever come between us; even with the whole Scott thing didn’t stop us.  If we can survive all that we have so far, then I think we’ll make it.”

He winced when he caught his words.

“He died for me,” Kyra said, so softly she wasn’t sure that Alexi had heard them.

Alexi looked thoughtful, though, so she knew he had heard.  “He did it because he loved you.”

“He should have just let them get me,” she whispered.  “Then this wouldn’t even be happening to you guys.”

“Now you don’t know that,” Alexi protested, turning her face towards his so he could look into her eyes.  “There’s more to this than just revenge, Kyra.  I know you’ve always suspected it, just like I have.”

“I have always wondered…” Kyra muttered.  “But still, I brought you all into this by not just ditching Scott when I had the chance.”

Alexi smiled down at her and kissed her forehead chastely, then said, “Kiddo, I think that this would have happened no matter what choices we all made.  I think Sammy would have found another way to hate us and come after us.  If you hadn’t made the choices you did, we could all be dead.  Jem…he did what he did because he wanted you to live.  I know you were closest to him—“

“Alexi—“

“No,” he put a hand up to stop her.  “Nico and I never took it personally.  The two of you were together long before we even came into the picture.  And I don’t think even the two of us understood the relationship between you and Jem.  But we knew you, so we were able to accept it.  Kyra, you would have done the same for Jem, and I imagine you would for me and Nico as well.”

“In a second,” she said, setting her jaw.

Smiling again, he went on, “Would you have wanted us to feel like shit after you gave up so much for us?”

She shook her head, sadly.  “It doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I know, kid,” he said.  “But that’s how it is.  Jem wanted you to live…I wish…jeez…He was a good man, Kyra.  I wish I could have saved him.  Saved him for you.”

“Oh, Alexi,” she said, horrified.  She touched his cheek, then said, “Then I would be in the same place I am now, but hurting because it was you gone.  Jem and I had a special friendship, one that no one could ever replace.  But you and I have a special friendship, too.  Just like Nico and I have one.  Losing any of you would have been this bad.  Please, know that.  While the relationship I had with Jem was different, it didn’t make him any more important than you or Nico.”

Alexi watched her.

“I love you and Nico with all my heart,” she said.  “Jem was…well, I can’t really explain it.  And I miss him so much.  But I would never trade your life or Nico’s for his.  I loved him, but I wouldn’t wish it was one of you in his place.”

Alexi was nodding now, understanding, she hoped.

“He made his choice.  I feel guilty as hell, knowing that he died to save me, that he let them take his life just to allow me a few more moments, a chance that you would show up.  He did it to save us all, because he loved us.”

“Yeah,” Alexi said.  “But…I should have been there; I should have gotten to you guys faster…”

Kyra pulled his face down to kiss his cheek.  “If you had, they may have caught you, and again, it would have been all of us then.  We can’t change what happened.  And even if we could, changing it would probably change everything.  Life is sudden and unpredictable.  We can’t prepare ourselves for what’s to come, save having close friends to help us when times get rough.”

“Look at us,” Alexi mumbled, sniffling.  “Here I am, trying to comfort you, and you’re the one comforting me.”

She smiled softly at him as he wiped some of her tears away.  “Maybe it’s helping me realize what I should have known already.  I can’t forget the day he died…I won’t forget it.  But I also refuse to forget the time that he lived, and all that he taught me.  I swear, every time the wind blows, I hear his voice whispering in my ear.  And every time the sun shines, I see his smile.  It’s been so long since I’ve heard his laugh, but it still echoes in my dreams, in my memories.  I can’t forget him, but I can’t stop living because he’s gone.  I’ve still got you and Nico.”

“He always was ten steps ahead of us, wasn’t he?” Alexi laughed through his own tears.  “He had to be first in everything.”

“And when we die…years from now,” she said, “he’ll be there, waiting for us.  And he’ll laugh at us for taking so long.”

“Somehow, I can see him doing that,” she smiled.

Alexi’s laughter faded into a sad smile as well.  “Only because he always waited for us.”

“What if he doesn’t wait this time, Alexi?” she asked.  “We don’t know what there is after death.  What if we don’t find him again?  We won’t in this life…”

“We will find him again,” Alexi’s voice was strained.  “I know we will.  People don’t have bonds like we did and then lose them in an instant.”

Kyra nodded silently, thinking on that.

“We’ll all meet up again,” Alexi smiled at her.  “I know we will.”

“So we get Nico back,” she said, her determination making her feel stronger.  The tears were stopping, and reality was setting in.  “Jem’s gone, but Nico’s still here.  And we have to save him.”

“Hell yeah,” Alexi grinned at her.  “I suppose we owe him, after all, since he always saved us.”

“And then…” she started.

He finished the thought for her, “And then we’ll be us again, instead of these weepy sissies.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes, contemplating everything.

“I ran into Zak a few weeks ago,” Alexi looked out the window.  Kyra saw Alexi tense up.

A small smile spread across Kara’s face.  “Zaki?” she asked.  “How is he?”

“He asked about you,” Alexi replied, watching her speculatively.

“Did he now,” she tried not to sound too interested.  What had happened between her and Zaki had never been public knowledge, not even to their little family.  Alexi knew that something had happened between the two of them, especially since he had obviously opened his big mouth to Azra at some point in time, but not even Jem had been aware of exactly what had occurred between her and Zaki.  She wasn’t sure she wanted anyone to know.

“He said he wanted me to tell you he was sorry,” Alexi continued to study her.  “Something about how this is all his fault, that you would never have gone to Scott if it hadn’t been for him.”

She tensed immediately, turning away from him.  She didn’t want him to see her face, or the emotions she was feeling.  “I don’t know what he was talking about,” she lied, her voice tight. 

“I think you do,” Alexi hadn’t moved from his spot.  “Kyra, what happened between you two?”

“Nothing happened,” she said.  “Nothing at all.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said.  “You’ve never lied to us before this moment, Kyra.  Fix this.”

Sighing, she turned back to him.  “I’m sorry.  I know I shouldn’t lie about it, but there’s not much of a way to avoid the subject.  Please don’t ask me this.”

“I’m asking,” he looked worried and angry at once.  “What happened?”

“I had a stupid crush on Nico’s best friend,” she replied, forcing her emotions away and making herself impassive.  “That’s it.”

“Well,” Alexi straightened and turned around to walk back inside.  “At least that wasn’t a lie.”

“Alexi, wait,” she said.  “Please, don’t be mad.  I…I can’t talk about it.”

“Why not?” he asked.  He looked over his should at her, hurt written all over his face.  “You’ve kept this from us for five years now.”

She looked down, not replying.  Both waited for a moment, then shook their heads and started to walk back inside.

“I kissed him,” she finally said as he reached for the door.  Looking at them, she saw he had frozen.  “When I was sixteen.  Scott was…kind of in the picture.  He had asked me out but I had said no.  You know I only had eyes for Zaki at that point.  Well, one night we were sitting on the couch, watching a movie.  Everyone else had gone to bed.”

“You two always were the night owls,” Alexi said, his face contorted with anger.  “I remember that night.  It was the night before he left.”

“Yeah,” she said bitterly.  “Only we didn’t know he was leaving until after he was gone.”

“What did he do?” Alexi growled.

She looked at him, sadly, then shook her head.  “All he did kiss me.  Honestly,” she glanced back to make sure that the door was still closed and that no one had any windows open, then continued in a low voice, “but then, when it ended, he just looked at me and said that it was what he would expect of a child.  He got up and walked away.”

“He WHAT?” Alexi exploded.  “That—“

“He was right,” she hung her head.  “I was just a kid to him.  He was 21, I had no right to—“

“No, Kyra, he had no right to,” Alexi grabbed her by the shoulders.  “What else happened?”

“No-nothing,” she said, jerking herself away.

Alexi watched her, his outward anger turning cold, calm.  That scared her.  He was rarely angry.  She could only remember a handful of times when he had lost it, but he had never been like this.

“Kyra—“ his voice was even colder than the look on his face, his tone warning her not to evade the question or lie to him.

“I…I took it as a challenge.  We…” she couldn’t say it.  She knew their anger wasn’t directed at her, but at Zaki.

“Did you and he…” Alexi was attempting to say.

“He was my first,” she whispered.

Kyra chanced a look at him, seeing the rage on his face under his calm demeanor.  “Please,” she begged both of them.  “Don’t be mad at him.  It wasn’t his fault.  I went after him and I made it happen.  He tried to stop it.”

“Kiddo,” he replied, dryly.  “There is no ‘tried’ when it comes to that.  He should have stopped it.”

Alexi was attempting to calm himself down for her, which she was grateful for. 

“It was consensual,” she said, quietly, rubbing her arms with her hands.  “It was just as much my fault as his.”

“He knew better, Kyra,” he was rubbing his temples now, as she often did.  “He knew about your crush.  He took advantage—“

“He walked away, remember?” she interrupted.  “He wasn’t taking advantage of me.  I took advantage of the fact that his girlfriend had just broken up with him.  He was hurting—“

“Kyra,” Alexi’s voice stopped her mid-defense.  “Don’t defend him.  His girlfriend broke up with him because she was jealous of you.”

Kyra blinked at the information, not sure how to take it.

“C’mon, kid,” he sighed.  “He dropped everything for you, anytime you needed the slightest thing.  I mean, our entire group is willing to help each other out, but he doted on you, always.  Even Nico, Jem and I didn’t spoil you like he did.  All of his girlfriends hated you from the very first one he had to that last one before he left.  And I’m willing to bet that any girls he had after that hated you, because the first thing out of his mouth when we met up was ‘How’s Kyra?’  You have had him whipped from the very beginning.”

“Whipped is for girlfriends.  He never wanted me like that,” she said.

Alexi was watching her carefully.  “He had sex with you, didn’t he?” his voice was laced with venom once again.  Kyra looked at him, realizing he hadn’t understood what she had meant when she had admitted that moments ago.

His eyes widened, and he shouted, “I will kill him the next time I find that bastard!”

“Alexi,” Kyra begged.  “Please don’t.  This why I never told anyone before.”

“Not anyone?” Alexi looked taken aback.

She answered his unasked question, “Not even Jem knew this.  You all obviously figured out that something had happened, but I never told anyone.  I didn’t want to cause something like this.”

“How could it not?” his voice was filled with wonder.  “You’re not only like a sister to us, but you’re the baby of the group.  Everyone was always more protective of you.”

Kyra nodded, still unable to look at them again.  Waking up alone the morning after her night with Zaki had hurt her more than anything.  He had been the first guy she had loved, and she never regretted sleeping with him, she merely wished it hadn’t ended like that.  She knew that they could see the play of emotions across her face.

“Kiddo…” Alexi put a hand on her shoulder, then pulled her into a hug.  “I really shouldn’t tell you this.  I’d really rather think of him as a bastard.  But he was there that night when we went after you at Scott’s.  He was the one who found you before you woke up.  And when he saw you, he went crazy.  He just attacked Scott.  We barely had to touch him once Zaki was done with him.”

Kyra didn’t know how to take that information.  She had convinced herself that Zaki had just not cared, that she had just been a mistake.  It had helped to her deal with his leaving by believing he didn’t care.  But somewhere, deep inside, she was sure that he did care.  That he had always cared.

“Alexi,” she asked.  “Why did you bring this all up now?”

“I don’t know,” he responded.  “Because…because you’re with that Lethe guy now, because it’s been bugging me that I didn’t know, because I always knew that you loved Zaki.  Take your pick.”

She sighed, softly.  “It was years ago.  It meant nothing to him.”

“It meant something to you, though,” Alexi muttered.  “He hurt you.”

“A lot of people have hurt me,” she cuddled up to him, pulling his arm around her shoulders, knowing that the best way to calm him down was to play to his protective need rather than distract him from it.  “I got over it.  It was just as much my fault as it was his.”

She felt him tense up slightly again.  “What?” she asked.  “What do you know?”

“We’ll figure this out later,” Alexi hugged her against him, moving a bit to get comfortable.  “Let’s just figure out this Nico thing.”

Kyra smiled at him, and the two of them headed back to the house, making plans.  The closer they got, the more the silence entered the conversation, though.  They didn’t want anyone overhearing and trying to stop them.

“I know we talked about his already, but I’m gonna say it again,” Alexi said, slowly.  “Your new boyfriend isn’t gonna like this at all.”

Kyra nodded.  “We made a pact, Alexi,” she replied.  “I know he won’t but he has to deal with it.  Nico needs us, and that comes first.”

Alexi reached over and took her hand for a moment, squeezing in a show of support, then dropped it.

They two of them walked up the steps and into the house, no longer talking.

“Where have you been?” Azra jumped on them immediately.  “I was getting worried.”

“Sorry,” Kyra said.

Alexi smiled at his cousin charmingly, saying, “We had a lot to talk about.”

 Laughing, Azra smacked his arm.  “That charm of yours may work on most girls, but it doesn’t work on cousins!”

“It was worth a try,” he shrugged and sat down on the floor in front of the television.  “So, what are we watching?”

Kyra sat down next to him, resting back on her elbows and kicking Alexi lightly.

“What?” he growled, looking back at her.

She stared back at him.  “You make a better door than a window.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have sat behind this door,” Alexi turned back to the television, only to get another swift kick.

“Damn it, Kyra!” Alexi grunted and looked at her again.

“Move,” she smiled sweetly.

“No,” he replied.

“Move,” she said, “or I will make you move.”

“Ha!” Alexi challenged her.  “You don’t have a chance, little girl.”

Sitting up, she narrowed her eyes.  Tension filled the room, only Azra ignoring the two with understanding of their game.

“You wanna bet on that?” she asked, silkily.  “I will whoop your ass—“

Before another word got out of her mouth, she launched herself at Alexi, tackling him to the floor.  The two of them wrestled, kicking the couch and coffee table frequently.

“Do me a favor,” Kyra barely heard Azra asking Freddy.  “Move that table before they break it.”

“Is this common with them?” Nick was questioning Azra, sounding worried.

Both Alexi and Kyra paused in their wrestling to hear what Azra said.

“When it comes to them, nothing is ‘common,’ so just ignore them,” Azra replied with a shrug, and the two of them went back to attacking each other.

Kyra knew that Alexi was taking it easy on her.  He could easily have beaten her if he had wanted to.  But, as it always had been with the two of them, he went easy on her to let the game last longer.  After several minutes of wrestling, they two broke apart and lay on the floor in a heap, their chest heaving from the exertion.

“Tie?” Alexi looked at her and grinned.

Kyra nodded and replied, “Tie.”

They bumped fists and dropped their heads on the floor, still breathing hard.

“That was…” Freddy began.

Nick finished the sentence for him, “Interesting.”

“Fun,” Kyra amended, grinning at Alexi.

“Always,” Alexi laughed.  “So, is there food in this house yet?”

“I sent the guys shopping after you ate everything we had just stocked up on,” Azra said from the other side of the room.

“Pig,” Kyra poked Alexi in the stomach before crawling up onto the couch next to Lethe.

“Hey, can I help it if I’m hungry?” Alexi asked innocently.

“You’re always hungry,” Kyra replied, laying her head on Lethe’s shoulder.  She felt him tense up in surprise at her display, but got over it quickly and slipped his out around her shoulders.

She stretched slowly, like a cat just waking from a nap, and relaxed against Lethe.  It felt kind of odd to be cuddling with Lethe like she was.  With Jem, Alexi, or Nico, it had always been comfortable, but with Lethe, it seemed strange.  She wasn’t sure if it was good or bad, all she knew was that it was different.  Deciding to figure it out later, she made herself comfortable and turned her eyes towards Alexi.

He was watching the two of them, studying them carefully.  Lethe’s body was slightly rigid, obviously feeling Alexi’s scrutiny.  Kyra just continued to observe Alexi until he finally met her eyes.  Alexi didn’t look happy with whatever conclusion he had reached about Lethe.  He stood up and walked into the kitchen.

Raising herself to follow him, Kyra smiled at Lethe’s confused look, then proceeded to the kitchen.  She knew by the look that had been on Alexi’s face that he had wanted to say something, but had kept his mouth shut.

“What’s up,” she asked, shutting the door behind her.

Alexi looked troubled, but didn’t say anything as he made his sandwiches.

“Come on,” she continued.  “I know there’s something you want to say.”

“I…Kyra, I don’t know what exactly to say,” he replied.  “Something about him bothers me.”

Kyra nodded, not liking the implications of that.  Alexi was an excellent judge of character.  She had ignored him once, with Scott, and had vowed never to do so again.

“Are you …”

“Don’t get worked up yet,” he tried to calm her worry.  “I don’t know what it is…it just doesn’t seem right.  It’s nothing like Scott, I promise.”

Kyra’s eyes didn’t move from his face, trying to read him.  Smiling slightly, she realized it was as if they had never been apart.  She could still read his emotions off his face easily.  Everyone else always said that both Alexi and Nico were impossible to understand, that they showed no emotion, but Kyra had known them far too long to believe that.  She could tell that Alexi was thinking about something deep, and that Lethe worried him.

“What is it?” she asked.  “What is it that bothers you?”

“I…” Alexi looked up, grimacing.  “Kyra, I really don’t want to say anything.  This is your relationship.”

“Alexi, I want to know,” she put a hand on his arm. 

He sighed and finished the sandwich, then handed one to her.  “Eat,” he commanded.  “You’ve lost a lot of weight.”

They two of them ate in silence.  Once Kyra had finished her sandwich, he finally said, “I don’t think he’s right for you.”

Kyra wasn’t sure what to say to that.

“There’s something…look, I just don’t know for sure,” Alexi tried to back peddle a bit.  “I just feel like…”

“Alexi, it’s okay,” she said, softly.  “I wanted you to tell me, remember?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” he said.

“I think it’s too late for that,” she replied.  “Thank you for telling me.”

“Look, it’s not that he’s a bad guy or anything.  He seems like he’s nice and all that.  I just feel like…well, I get this vibe that something’s not right.  It just feels…”

“Wrong?” she supplied.

“Not necessarily—“

“Alexi, since when do you worry so much about someone’s feelings?” she teased, darkly.  “Used to be you’d just say it, no matter who it was.”

“Since my best friend is already heartbroken over losing too much at once, and I see her in another situation where she may end up losing someone else she cares about,” he said.

“I know,” Kyra said.  “I know it probably won’t work out.  But…at least I’ll have this time, you know?  At least I can say I gave it a chance.”

“Even if your personalities really don’t fit well,” Alexi groaned.

Kyra laughed.  “Now there’s my Alexi.”

She started to walk back into the living room, Alexi right behind her.  Suddenly, he turned and disappeared back into the kitchen.  She paused at the doorway of the living room, looking back for him.

Reappearing, he tossed an apple at her as he walked past to sit on the floor again.  “Eat,” he repeated his earlier command.

Complying immediately, she took a big bite at the same time he took a bite of his.  “I didn’t want you stealing mine again,” he grinned up at her.

She grinned back and sat down next to Lethe, taking another bite.

“So how is it you listen to him when he orders you around, but not to anyone else?” Sarra asked, curiously.

“Because she knows I’ll tell Nico if she doesn’t,” Alexi answered for her.

Sarra looked confused.  “What does that mean?”

“It means that Nico will give her a wonderfully boring lecture about the necessity of sustenance,” Alexi said, smirking.

“A lecture?” Lethe looked at Kyra.  “That’s all it takes?”

Azra rolled her eyes.  “If that was all it took, she would have listened to me.  I don’t understand why, but she listens to Nico.  And Alexi, when she knows he’ll tattle on her.”

“It’s not tattling!” Alexi objected.

“It’s tattling,” Kyra jumped in.  “Definitely tattling.”

Alexi glared at her and she glared back, then the two of them burst into laughter.

“Yeah,” Alexi admitted.  “It’s tattling.  Not that it stopped you when Nico found out about his pink clothes.”

“Hey, you’re the one who put the red sock in his laundry, and I know it was on purpose,” she smirked.  “I wasn’t taking the fall for that one.  Nico hates pink with a passion.”

“Maybe because that was our color of choice for dying his hair when we were younger?” Alexi theorized.

Kyra nodded, laughing.  Finishing her apple, she threw the core at Alexi and rested back against Lethe.

When it comes down to it, you won’t choose him, the little voice in the back of her head was saying.  She pushed it out of her mind though, not wanting to think about it at that moment.  Right then, she was comfortable, she had Alexi back, and she felt safe for the first time in months.  She wasn’t ready to give up that feeling.

 

 

Chapter Nine

 

Kyra woke the next morning, early, on the couch.  She was still nestled against Lethe, though someone had draped a blanket over the two of them.  Alexi, no doubt, she thought as her eyes found her best friend passed out in a chair on the other side of the room where the blanket had been sitting.  Azra had disappeared at some point, probably to kick one of the other boys out of her bed, and Sarra was asleep on the other couch.

Standing up slowly, trying not to wake Lethe, she silently moved towards the kitchen.  A hand grabbed her arm, one she was expecting.

“Coffee?” Alexi muttered, groggy.  He looked up at her, his expression mixed between hope and tired.

Kyra smiled down at him and nodded, then continued to the kitchen with him following close, though unsteadily.

In the kitchen, he shut the door behind them so they could talk without others hearing them and Kyra turned on the coffee machine, grateful that Azra had put fresh grounds in and set it all up before she had gone to bed.  Alexi must have noticed her happy look because he raised an eyebrow.

“Your cousin knows us well,” she said.  “Azra put enough in here for a full pot of our coffee instead of that wussy crap she likes.”

Grinning, Alexi replied, “Yeah, I think she realized she couldn’t get away with that with the both of us.”

Kyra laughed.  She and Alexi were notoriously bad tempered when they woke up before they had their coffee.  They were able to put up with each other and Nico, and of course Jem, but no one else had ever been able to get anything other than a grunt out of them before coffee.  They both loved strong coffee, or “sludge” as most people referred to it as.  They had even gotten Nico attached to it.  Jem had never taken a liking to their coffee, though.  The last thought brought a sad smile to Kyra’s face as she remembered Jem’s pained expression the one time he had tried it.  Alexi’s hand touched her shoulder, understanding.

“It’s not as…hard…” she said.  “Now that you’re here, I’m able to think about him without getting angry.”

 “Same here,” Alexi squeezed her shoulder and pulled her into a hug.  “I wasn’t dealing too well without you and Nico.”

The sound of the door cracking open came from behind them, but both ignored it.  The footsteps were too light for any of the guys, and Kyra knew Sarra wouldn’t be waking up for awhile, leaving only Azra.

 “So, logic says that once we get Nico back, we’ll be even better,” Kyra’s smile turned into a grin.

“I have no idea where that logic comes from, but whatever,” Azra said as she closed the door behind her.  “Trying to be nice and not wake everyone up for once?”

“Please,” Alexi grunted.  “We just didn’t want anyone listening in.”

Azra rolled her eyes.  “The two of you can joke and talk normally before coffee, but you can’t talk to anyone else.”

“Right,” Kyra said, sighing happily as she poured a cup for herself and one for Alexi.  “Want one?” she offered, raising the coffee pot.

Azra made a disgusted sound and shook her head.  “No thank you, that shit is hazardous to a normal person’s health.”

Kyra shrugged and replied, “Your loss.”

Both she and Alexi got quiet, both drinking their coffee and relaxing side by side against the counter.

“Lethe’s jealous of Alexi,” Azra said out of nowhere, eliciting surprised groans from both of them.

Sighing, Kyra rolled her eyes.  “You know, he’s gotta trust me.  I’m not gonna just run off with another guy, especially not Alexi.”

“Hey!” Alexi protested.  A hurt look appeared in his eyes for the briefest of moments before disappearing into the depths.  “I’m not that bad.”

“You’re like a brother to me,” she said.

Alexi shrugged.  “Good point, that would be kind of weird.”

“Really weird,” Kyra blinked at the thought of being with Alexi.  His mind was obviously on the same page as hers.  They looked at each other and jumped away from each other, saying in unison, “Ew!”

Azra burst out laughing, gripping the counter for support.

“That’s just disgusting!” Kyra shook her head in attempt to get rid of the image.

“Wrong, on so many levels,” Alexi grimaced. 

“Never gonna happen,” they said together.  Glaring at each other, they continued in unison, “Stop that!”

Azra was sliding down to the floor, pointing at them but laughing so hard that she couldn’t say anything.  The door swung open to reveal Lethe and Sarra rubbing their eyes.

“What’s so funny?” Lethe asked.

“Damn it!” Kyra and Alexi both said, then they shouted each other’s names at the same time, causing Azra to grab her stomach from laughing so hard.

“Gah!” Kyra said, spinning to walk away.  Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that Alexi had turned to walk in the other direction, only to walk right into the refrigerator, making Sarra start laughing almost as hard as Azra was.  Even Lethe was smiling.

“You have a sick, sick mind, Az,” Kyra muttered, taking a sip of her coffee.  “Disgusting.”

“What is this about?” Sarra said as she calmed down.

“Sick,” Alexi growled, leaning against the refrigerator he had just run into.

Azra managed to get herself off the floor to explain.  “Alexi and Kyra…together…”

“Ew!” Alexi and Kyra shouted in unison again, Kyra taking another step back and Alexi making a face.

Sarra laughed at the reaction and Azra sat back, attempting to breathe.

“They don’t like that idea much?” Sarra asked Azra, who shook her head, still giggling.

“Obviously not,” Azra laughed.  “I mentioned it and they both freaked out.”

“That is so gross,” Kyra grumbled, moving back to her spot and lifting herself to sit on the counter this time.

“No kidding,” Alexi joined her.  “Ick.”

“Let us never speak of this again,” Kyra added, with Alexi nodding in agreement. 

“But—“

“Never!” Kyra interrupted Azra.

Azra was laughing again, renewed by Kyra’s demand.

“Wrong,” Alexi was still muttering.

“Methinks they doth protest too much,” Sarra muttered, raising an eyebrow.

Kyra decided it was time to change to subject.  “So,” she said.  “How did you guys sleep?”

“Good until my cuddle-bunny left,” Lethe attempted to play cute.

Alexi snorted.  “He just called you his cuddle-bunny.”

Closing her eyes, she groaned.  “I’m never gonna hear the end of this, am I?” she asked him.

“Not a chance in hell, cuddle-bunny,” Alexi snickered.

“Sorry,” Lethe looked embarrassed as he sat next to her.

“Nice try,” Azra gave him, and Kyra put her head in her hands.

Alexi was still chuckling.  “Just wait until I tell Nico this…”

“You wouldn’t!” Kyra’s head shot up.  She knew that Lethe had meant well by his little game, trying to be playful, and that she was making it worse by her reaction, but she really didn’t like that.

“Oh, I am gonna,” Alexi smiled evilly.

Kyra felt the mortification rise, but then she smiled, matching his.  “Okay,” she said, hopping off the counter.

“Wait a minute,” Alexi looked worried.  “Why are you okay with this?”

“Go ahead,” Kyra’s smile turned innocent.  “Tell Nico.”

“And…” Alexi narrowed his eyes at her.

“And,” she said, “I will tell him who totaled his car last year.”

“No!” Alexi shouted, shooting across the kitchen to stop in front of her.  “Please, please, I’m begging you, he’ll kill me!”

“He didn’t kill me when you told him I was the one who ran it into a telephone pole,” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“But that’s because you’re you!  He would never hurt you!” Alexi pled.  “I’m his brother, he won’t stop from beating the shit outta me!”

Grinning, Kyra said, “Fine, I won’t tell if you don’t.  But, you can’t give me crap about it, either.”

“Not fair terms,” Alexi gave her a dejected look.

“Then I get to call you Crash,” she replied, sweetly.

“Not in front of Nico?” Alexi asked.

“Neither of us teases in front of Nico, and it’s a deal,” Kyra held out her hand and Alexi shook it.

Sarra looked between the two of them in confusion.  “You two are odd,” Sarra finally said.

“No kidding,” Azra shook her head as she started to pull out the eggs.  “Anyone hungry?”

“Oh, I am!” Alexi’s face lit up.

Kyra rolled her eyes.  “You don’t count, you’re always hungry.”

“So what?” Alexi said.  “I’m a growing boy!”

“Alexi, you’re 23 years old,” Azra reminded him.

“So?  I don’t wanna grow up,” he said, looking at Kyra.

Kyra got the message and continued, “I’m a TOYS’R’US kid.”

They started singing horribly off pitch: “There are a million toys at TOYS’R’US that I can play with!  From bikes to trains to video games, it’s the biggest toy store there is, Gee-whiz!  I don’t want to grow up, cuz baby if I did…”

“I wouldn’t be a TOYS’R’US kid!” Kyra finished the last line alone.  They both grinned at each other.

“Odd doesn’t even begin to explain these two,” Lethe looked at his sister. 

Kyra settled next to him again, smirking.  He reached out to pull her in for a kiss, but she avoided it.

“She’s not usually much for PDA, man,” Alexi counseled, settling on the other side of Kyra.

“You two are always…” Lethe looked hurt, and Kyra’s gaze fell to the floor in shame.

“We’ve been friends for fifteen years,” Alexi replied, dryly.  “After that long, you’re okay with PDA.”

“So if she was with you or that Nico guy—“

“It would be different,” Alexi interrupted Lethe, glaring at him.  “But she’s not with either of us, so you can give that little thing up.  You gotta accept her as she is, buddy.  You can’t make her into something she’s not.  I promise you, I won’t let that happen.”

Sighing, Kyra put a hand on both of the boys’ arms.  “It’s okay, Alexi.  He still doesn’t know me well enough to understand that.  And Lethe, I’m sorry, but I’m not big on public affection.  With Alexi and Nico, it’s okay, but like Alexi said, we’ve been friends for fifteen years.  After that long, you get comfortable with a person.”

“We’re hardly in public,” Lethe muttered under his breath, but nodded and stepped back from her, scowling.

“Awkward,” Azra said. 

“Can we talk?” Lethe whispered to her.  She nodded, and the two of them walked out of the room, Kyra shooting a look at Alexi.

“What’s up?” she asked once they had found some privacy.

“Kyra,” he said, pulling her into his arms.  “Please explain this to me.  I’m trying to understand this thing with Alexi, but I don’t.”

“He’s my best friend,” she said.  “He’s like a brother to me.”

“I don’t like this,” Lethe replied.  “I can’t help but dislike it that my girl won’t let me get too close to her in front of other people, but she lets another guy.”

“Lethe, I understand.  It’s always been hard for people to understand our group, our family.  We have always been close.  If any of the others showed up, it would be the same.  They would be close to me, and I wouldn’t be able to let you.  That’s how I am.  I know it may not make much sense,” she said, laying her head on his shoulder.

He heaved a sigh. “You’re right; it makes no sense to me.  None of this does.  This guy comes into the picture and everything changes.  Suddenly, you’re always with him, you let him touch you, yet you fight me, you won’t commit…”

“I know you want me to apologize, but I can’t,” she replied.  “And a lot of that stuff was the same before he came.  Don’t blame Alexi for those problems.  We barely know each other, remember that.”

“We can change that,” Lethe looked down at her.

She sighed.  “Lethe, I don’t just open up to people immediately,” she replied.  “I take time to make sure I can trust them.”

“We have time,” he said.

“No, we don’t,” she groaned and pulled back.  “There’s a lot going on right now, there’s no time to go through the relationship dance.  This is why I didn’t want to get into it in the first place.”

“Kyra, we can have time.  You can stay here with me, I will take care of you,” Lethe was pleading.

Closing her eyes, her hands went to her temples.  “Lethe, are you even listening to me?  You want some normal girl, someone who will let you protect them, someone who’s willing to settle down and who can give you the life you want.  The life you deserve.  That’s not me!”

“You won’t give up this game for the person you love?” he asked, viciously.

  “Damn it,” she swore, angry now.  “Lethe, we’re not talking about love.  Love takes time to grow; love isn’t something that just appears!  You have to know someone, understand them to love them, and we definitely don’t have that going on here.  You’re asking me to be something I’m not, and that’s not fair.”

“I’m asking you—“

“To settle down, start a family, let you protect me, all that, right?” she interrupted.  When he nodded, she continued, “Okay, so that’s what you want.  What about what I want?  I want to travel, to put my family back together, to finish this shit so I don’t have to look over my shoulder the rest of my life.  I don’t need to be protected; I can take care of myself.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he responded, glowering.

“I know you didn’t,” she calmed herself down.  “You wanted me to feel good, you wanted to reassure me.  But Lethe, I don’t need that.  You want someone who will rely on you because it makes you feel better about yourself, and I’m not that someone.  I don’t need to rely on someone else.  It’s nice to have the support, but I can make it on my own.  And you want someone who needs you as much as you need her.”

Lethe’s mouth turned into a scowl.  “Apparently you know me better than you think.”

“Lethe,” she said, shaking her head.

“So if the call for help came, from that guy Nico,” Lethe asked.  “Would you leave?”

She looked at him, unblinking.  She knew that she would.  She already was in the process of doing that, he just didn’t know it.  “Yes,” she simply said.

Lethe stormed out of the room, slamming the front door on his way out of the house.  She groaned again and walked out into the living room where everyone was sitting and dropped onto the floor next to Alexi.

“Hungry?” he asked, handing her his plate that was heaping with food.  Even more than normal, she realized.  He had grabbed extra for her.  Smiling gratefully at her friend, she took a huge bite and relaxed back against the couch behind her.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“I’ve always wanted to go to Romania,” Sarra was saying.

A smile tugged at the corners of Alexi’s mouth as his eyes met Kyra’s.  “Didn’t we drop a nuke there a few years back?” he asked, his eyes alight with memories.

Wistfully, Kyra replied, grateful for the distraction, “That was Japan you moron.” 

Both continued to look at each other for a moment before they both grinned, ignoring the confusion on everyone else’s faces.

“I still don’t know who the Ottomans are,” Alexi finally said, breaking the confused silence that had come over the room.  Kyra let out a small laugh, closing her eyes.

 

“So we were in class, talking about the rise of the Ottomans—“

“Wait, wait, wait,” Alexi held a hand up, confusion written across his face as he interrupted Jem’s story about history that day.  “The Ottomans?  Is that some kind of terrorist organization?”

The entire group burst into laughter, but Jem managed to keep a straight face, replying, “Remind me to laugh about that later.  Anyways—“

“He’s referring to the Ottoman Empire,” Ransom tried to explain to Alexi, once again interrupting Jem.  “A Turkish Empire.”

“Huh?” Alexi said, looking even more confused.

“You know he never pays attention in class, Zaki,” Kyra laughed.  “But a lot of people think that it wasn’t necessarily Turkish, since I guess the Turkish people never really profited from the benefits of the state any more than the other peoples of the Empire did.”

“Aren’t you in the same class as Jem?” Nico asked Alexi.

“Turkey?  Hey, didn’t we drop a nuke there a few years back?” Alexi questioned, ignoring his brother’s question.

Laughing, Kazia replied, “That’s Japan, you moron.”

“And that was way more than a ‘few’ years ago,” Selarah added.

“Can I tell my damned story?” Jem interrupted them, annoyed.

“Fine, go ahead,” Alexi was rubbing his head in confusion again.

“So we were…damn it, I don’t even remember what I was saying,” Jem groaned.

“Did you ever pay attention in class?” Tanis was asking Alexi, not paying attention anyway.

“Class?” Alexi grinned.  “When did I ever go to class?”

Laughing, Kyra said, “Only you could never go to a class and ace the final.”

“You what?” Jem exclaimed.  “How did you manage to even pass the final?  You don’t even know what the Ottoman Empire was and the entire final was essay.  I know there was a question about it on there.”

Alexi shrugged with a smirk, saying, “Cuz I’m the best there ever was!”

“You suck,” Jem scowled at his friend, but his annoyance lasted all of a minute before he began praising his friend.

 

“I wish we had listened to his story,” Alexi said, bringing Kyra out of the memory.  “I really did want to know what happened during that class.”

“You just wanted to know because you skipped the class again,” Kyra smiled at him.

Alexi swung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her next to him.  Her arm went around his waist.

“We had some good times, didn’t we,” he said, grinning down at her, all sadness gone from his eyes.

Kyra nodded, beaming up at him.  “Yeah, we did.”

“I’m willing to bet you have a lot of good times ahead of you, too,” Azra broke in on their little moment.  “Somehow I can’t see the two of you ever staying out of trouble.”

“Wouldn’t want to,” Alexi smirked.

“Why deny talent?” Kyra laughed, leaning against Alexi.  “We do it so well!”

“No kidding,” Azra rolled her eyes.  “Trouble follows the two of you around.”

Suddenly it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off of Kyra’s shoulders.  She felt freer, happier, than she had in a long time, despite the problems with Lethe.  She knew then that Azra was right: they had a lot of good times in the future, once they got Nico back.  They would contact the others, all of their “family” who had scattered over the years.  They would all be together again.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Alexi had a mischievous glint in his eyes; one that she was sure matched hers.

“Reunion?  A ‘Family’ reunion?” she grinned again.

“Well, we’re gonna need an army if we’re gonna—“

He broke off as Kyra elbowed him, realizing what he had been about to say.

It had been too late though.  Azra’s eyes were narrowing in suspicion.  “It you’re going to what?” she asked, suspiciously.

“If we’re going to…find their numbers?” Alexi tried to cover, weakly.

Kyra shook her head and smacked his shoulder.  “You are the worst liar ever.”

Everyone was paying attention now.  Up until that point, they had merely been observing Kyra and Alexi together, how different she was with him around. 

“What were you going to say?” Lethe asked, quietly.  Kyra was surprised to see him, realizing that he must have returned inside while she and Alexi had been talking.  “What are you two going to do?”

“We’re gonna do a lot of things,” Alexi replied, coldly, ignoring his slip up.  “We’re gonna go eat soon here, and we’re gonna get some sleep tonight.  And maybe we’re gonna—“

“That wasn’t what you were going to say, Alexi,” Azra jumped in before Alexi could get too angry at Lethe.  “You two are up to something.”

Alexi’s face melted into his charming grin.  “We’re always up to something, remember?”

“Yeah,” Azra didn’t look convinced.  Neither did anyone else.

Sarra saved them though.  “So, I thought maybe I would cook dinner for everyone tonight.  Kyra’s always cooking, I’m sure a break would be nice.”

“Gladly!” Kyra agreed.  “Have at ‘er.”

“Kyra?” Alexi looked shocked, trying to sound upset.  “You’re not cooking for me tonight?”

“Nope,” Kyra laughed.  “You get to starve tonight.”

“He won’t starve,” Jess defended Sarra.  “Sarra’s a great cook.”

“Oh, I have no doubt of that,” Kyra said.  “But I doubt she’ll make such large portions as I do, and Alexi eats like a horse.”

Alexi mockingly hung his head.  “I’m gonna die tonight!” he wailed.

“You are such a geek,” Kyra smacked his shoulder.

Alexi glanced around the room.  “See?” he asked.  “You see the abuse I put up with from this girl?  I’m her personal punching bag.  And I’ve got the bruises to prove it.  Physically and emotionally!”

“Take it like a man, Alexi,” Kyra waved a hand at him.  

 Alexi grabbed her and pulled her into a playful headlock.  “I’ll show you…” he grinned as she struggled.  Then, he let her go and wrapped his arm around her shoulders once again, pulling her to his side. 

“You let me get away with it,” Kyra rubbed her neck and punched him lightly on the shoulder.

“Yeah, but that’s cuz you’re my best friend,” Alexi said.  “Without you, I wouldn’t have anyone to get into trouble with, and where’s the fun in that?”

Kyra smiled up at Alexi, then put her head on his shoulder for a moment, savoring the moment.  She had always taken the boys for granted before Jem died, assuming they would be there.  She had never truly valued her time with them.  Losing Jem had taught her just how much they meant to her, and she wanted to make sure that Alexi knew she loved him

His response was to crush her in a tight embrace, kissing the top of her head lightly, then spinning her free.

“Thanks,” she grunted, taking a deep breath in to make up for the one he had choked out of her.

Alexi threw her a carefree grin, one reminiscent of times long ago.  “Anytime!” he replied.  “You looked like you needed it there.  You doin’ okay?”

Kyra nodded.  “Better now that you showed up.  It was getting…bad.”

“Same here,” Alexi replied.

The others had wandered off, so Kyra and Alexi went outside to the deck for privacy.

“How long?” he asked.

Immediately, she knew what he was asking about.  “I don’t know,” she replied.  “They expect us to leave.  I know that at least one of them is keeping an eye on us at night to make sure we don’t sneak out.  We may have to tell them that we’re leaving.”

“Groovy,” he rolled his eyes.  “So there’s gonna be fireworks.”

“Some,” she admitted.  “Not much choice.  We have to leave soon.”

Alexi sat back against the railing, staring out at the yard with his arms crossed.  “I still don’t like this Lethe guy.”

That elicited a smile from her.  “I know,” was all that she said.

“He’s trying to manipulate you into something else,” he went on.

“I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose,” she said.  “We all do that, not meaning to.  We have…chemistry, that’s for sure.  I think he needs something else, though, something that I’m not.”

Alexi looked over at her, speculatively.  “He wants a girl who will settle down with him, who will give up everything.  Would you give up everything?”

The question made her pause.  “I should have the answer immediately, shouldn’t I?” she asked.  “I should be able to say yes immediately.”

“Do you love him?” he asked.

“I care for him,” she said.

“That’s not the same.”

“I know.”

“Would you give up everything?”

He left the question hanging in the air, letting her think.  Would I? she thought, feeling growing alarm at the fact that she had no answer.  Her thoughts strayed to Nico, in trouble, to Alexi, pleading for her help to save his brother.  She thought of the rest of her “family,” who she hadn’t seen in years.  It they showed up, needing her help, would she turn them away like Lethe had asked her to?  Shaking her head, she turned from Alexi.

“I don’t know,” she answered.  “I honestly don’t know.”

 

 

Chapter Ten

 

“Would you give up everything?”

Alexi’s question was still with her the next morning when she woke up in Lethe’s arms.  The sun was beginning to rise, light just starting to kiss the horizon.  Staring out the window, she bit her lip in confusion.  She wanted nothing more than to forget it, to want the answer to be something other than it was.  But she couldn’t.

“What’s wrong?” Lethe sighed.  “What is it now?”

“Nothing,” she sighed and pulled out of his arms.  She stood up, stretching slowly. 

Suddenly, she froze.  Something wasn’t right.  A whistle from the doorway made her jump in surprise, whirling defensively.

“Well, well, well,” the shadow said, his voice amused.  “Would you look at this?”

“Interesting,” another voice came.

Kyra closed her eyes, trying to place the voices.  So long ago…

“Well, c’mon, Kyra,” a third voice rang through the darkness of the room.  “It’s been three years now, don’t we even get a hug?”

The three stepped out of the shadow and flicked on the light, making Lethe groan and Kyra yelp in surprise.  There, in her room, stood Tanis Damianos and Ransom and Gamble Laren, smirking.

Kyra took a step towards them in shock, blinking rapidly.  “You guys are…”

“We’re here, kiddo,” Ransom’s smirk turned into a gentle smile. 

“Hear you need…” Tanis began, but stopped as his eyes landed on Lethe.  He raised an eyebrow at Kyra, then continued, “Support?”

“Shut up and give me a hug,” she ordered, jumping into his arms.

“Hey, c’mon,” Gamble was protesting.  “Quit hogging her!”

She was passed on to Gamble, who held her as long as he could before Ransom took her.  She grinned, so happy to see her “family” again, and began to giggle as she was passed back to Tanis.

“Heard what happened to Jem,” Tanis whispered sadly in her ear, adding an extra squeeze.  He slowly let her go.  “I’m sorry we weren’t there.”

She reached up to touch his cheek.  “It’s okay.”

Lethe was standing up, shirtless, looking extremely angry.  Kyra pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and began to explain, “Guys, this is Lethe.  You prolly met his sister and brothers downstairs.  Lethe, this is Tanis, Gamble, and Ransom.  Part of my family.”

“Sup,” Tanis was no longer smiling, looking Lethe over.

Gamble and Ransom merely nodded, unimpressed.

“Hey,” Lethe muttered, pulling his shirt on.  He glared at Kyra.  “Care to explain this one?”

“Hey buddy,” Gamble smirked.  “We’re her ‘family,’ weren’t you listening?  Now get out, we gotta talk to Kyra and Alexi.”

Alexi picked that moment to saunter into the room, grinning at everyone.  “Bye, Lethe,” he waved, clearly loving that he was able to do this.

“Kyra—“

“Lethe,” she interrupted, not wanting to get into another argument with him.  “Can you excuse us?”

“Sure,” Lethe shook his head in disgust.  “Any more ‘family’ that I should expect?”

“I was under the impression that you aren’t exactly in a position to ask that,” Ransom said.  “At least, that’s what Alexi said.”

Lethe growled something under his breath and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

“Well that was fun,” Gamble laughed.  “Kyra, darling, you always go for the moody ones, don’t you?”

“Doesn’t he kind of remind you of Zak?” Alexi murmured.

“Hey now, you do know that Zak’s a good friend of mine and your brother’s, right?” Ransom asked, smacking Alexi on the shoulder.

“So,” Kyra said.

“I called them last night, after you went to bed,” Alexi explained.  “I thought the ‘family reunion’ thing was a good idea.  The rest should be here soon.”

Tanis nodded.  “What’s this about needing an army?”

“They got Nico,” Alexi explained.  “And we need to get him out.  We’ll go into details when everyone else gets here, but for now, I smell bacon.”

“Yeah, your cousin and some other girl were cooking when we got in,” Gamble said.  “Looked at us kinda weird as we just walked into the house and came up here.  What happened, Kyra?  Usually you’re the cook.”

“Life got even more complicated,” Kyra replied.  “And I decided that, after cooking for all of the friends Azra keeps bringing in, that she could do it.”

“Bringing in?” Ransom looked serious.  “What do they know?”

“Barely anything,” Alexi answered for Kyra.  “I checked up on it, they know the basics, and nothing more.  Kyra was there when Azra decided to go all emotional and tell all, so she was able to do damage control.”

“Normal people,” Tanis was saying as they started down the stairs.  “Always so nosy.”

Grinning, Kyra pushed him lightly.  “Careful, they get all pissy,” she whispered.  “And attached.”

Tanis stopped and burst into laughter.  “He wants you to stay and be a good little housewife, doesn’t he?”

“Shut up,” Kyra shoved him harder, making him grab the banister. 

“Yeah, cuz I can see that happening,” Gamble was laughing now too, and Alexi and Ransom were both smiling.  “Can you see her in a little dress and apron?”

“You guys suck!” Kyra groaned and continued down the stairs.

She stopped at the bottom, noticing the three figures in the doorway.

 “Selarah!” Kyra said.  “Kazia, Ayla!”

“Kyra!” the three girls at the door shouted.

All four girls squealed and threw themselves at each other, hugging.

“Now how come we don’t get that kind of reaction?” she could hear Tanis asking.

The four girls ignored the boys, laughing and continuing to hug.

“I have missed you so much!” Selarah was saying to Kyra, hugging her tightly. 

“I missed you too,” Kyra said.  “At least you three had each other around; I was stuck with three guys…”

“God, we heard about Jem,” Kazia said, taking her turn for a hug.  “But by the time we got back home, you were gone.”

“Had to get out of there,” Kyra said.  “But we’ll talk about this after breakfast.”

They walked into the dining room, where the guys had already begun eating.

“You guys all remember Azra, right?” Kyra asked, receiving nods from the guys and smirks from the girls.  “Okay, well, this is Sarra, Nick, Jess, Freddy, and Lethe.  Everyone, this is my family.  Kazia, Selarah, Ayla, Tanis, Gamble, and Ransom.”

“Oh, we so get details on the hot one,” Kazia whispered to her as everyone was settling down.

“Yeah,” Selarah gave her a look.  “He is gorgeous!”

“And he seems interested in you,” Ayla said.

The four girls looked at each other for a moment before they all muttered excuses about not being hungry and rushed up to Kyra’s room.

“Okay, scoop,” Selarah was diving for a spot on Kyra’s bed while the other two started looking at the few things in her room.  “Who’s the hottie?”

“He’s Lethe,” she said, sighing.  “And I have no clue what to do about him.”

Ayla touched her shoulder in sympathy.  “Go on.”

“Okay, well, when we first met, there was…something.  I can’t explain it, but I wanted him immediately.  It’s been rocky since the beginning though,” she tried to explain.  “The sex is great, but everything else…well…”

“It sucks?” Kazia asked.

Kyra nodded.  “All we do is fight whenever we talk.  Literally, we can’t carry on a conversation without arguing.  And he wants me to settle down, to have a family and let him protect me.  His words.”

The other three girls gasped.  “Well, he doesn’t know you at all, does he?” Selarah asked.  “Anyone who knows you would never say something like that.  That’s not you, Kyra.”

“I know, that’s what Alexi was telling me,” she said, dropping on her bed and laying back next to Selarah.  “But it’s there, the chemistry.  I can’t look at him without wanting him.”

“That doesn’t make it, though,” Kazia said gently, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her.  “You have the chemistry and that’s great, but if the two of you only argue, it’s not good.”

“I know,” she replied.  “I care about him.  I may even love him.”

“I thought you were the one with the ‘love takes years’ theory,” Ayla said.

Kyra shrugged.  “I am, but then…”

“You were in love with Zak from the first moment you saw him, too,” Kazia said, quietly.  “I remember the moment we all met; you only had eyes for him.”

“Let’s not talk about Zaki,” Kyra covered her face with her hands.

“Uh-oh,” Selarah turned to her.  “What happened with that?”

“Alexi found out about…” Kyra managed to say before groaning.

“That the two of you had sex?” Ayla was looking at the picture of Kyra and Jem.  “What took him so long to figure it out?”

“I told him,” she said.  “And how did you know?”

“We knew the second we saw your face after you found out Zak left,” Selarah said.  “We know you pretty damn well, girl.”

Kyra kept her hands on her face.

“You were in love with him, at least you’re not denying that,” Ayla said.  “So why do you fight the idea that you’re in love with Lethe?”

“Because…I don’t know him,” Kyra answered.

“Love isn’t always about knowing someone,” Kazia explained.  “It’s about recognizing their soul.”

“I don’t know if I ‘recognize his soul’ though,” Kyra defended.  “All I know is that I care about him.  He does mean something to me, even if he annoys the hell out of me.  The guys hate him, but they don’t see that it doesn’t make Lethe a bad guy just because we clash like we do.”

“You can love someone more than anything, but not like them,” Kazia directed her knowing eyes at Kyra.

“So that’s it?” Kyra asked.  “You think I love him?”

“I didn’t say you do, I said it was a possibility,” Kazia replied. 

Kyra put her face back into her hands.  “I don’t know,” she whispered.  “I honestly don’t.”

 

“Would you give up everything?”

 

“I…what did you just say?” Kyra mumbled, her head shooting up.  All three girls looked at her oddly.

“We didn’t say anything…” Selarah replied, putting a hand on Kyra’s shoulder.  “Kyra, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Great, now not only am I confused beyond belief, but I’m going nuts,” Kyra sighed.  “Alexi asked me a question yesterday…I guess it’s just going through my mind a lot.  I just thought someone said it is all.”

“Would you give up everything?” Kazia smiled softly.

Kyra looked at Kazia, shocked.  “Okay, you did just say it, right?”

Kazia nodded and laughed lightly.  “He asked me the same thing when I wasn’t sure what to do.”

“When you had to pick between those two guys?” Selarah clarified.

“Thomas and Matthew,” Kazia said.  “Yeah, that was it.  Alexi likes to ask that question.”

“I don’t know the answer,” Kyra admitted, sadly.  “I should, though.  I ought to be able to answer immediately, right?”

“Honestly?” Kazia asked.  “I thought about it for awhile.  It took me several days to realize that I wouldn’t, not for the either of them.  So I dumped them both.”

“But I shouldn’t have to give up everything,” Kyra said.  “I should be able to be with someone and keep the other things I want in life at the same time.”

“That’s not exactly what it’s asking,” Ayla smiled at Kyra.  “It’s not asking you to drop everything else, it’s just asking if you would, should the need arise.  For instance, if you had to choose between saving Nico and saving Lethe, who would you choose?”

“I…Nico,” Kyra immediately replied, not even thinking. 

The other three girls nodded in understanding.  “Kyra, that’s natural.  Nico is family.  Don’t feel guilty because of that choice.  Now what matters is would Lethe understand?”

“No,” Kyra looked at the floor.  “He wouldn’t.  He doesn’t.”

“Would you give up everything for Lethe?  Would you stay back because his ego is bruised?” Ayla asked.  “He’s not taking the time to think about it, to understand.  Would you understand if he chose his sister over you?”

“Yes,” Kyra nodded.  “I think I would still be hurt, but I would understand.”

“As he should understand.  If he really loves you as deeply as he says, he would have to love all of you, not just the parts he likes.  He would have to love that loyalty in you that compels you to drop everything the second a friend needs help,” Kazia explained.  “He is a good guy, I think.  But he isn’t as understanding as someone who loves you should be.”

“As someone who loves anyone in this group should be,” Selarah amended.  “We all do that kind of thing, and whoever loves us, whoever chooses to be with us, he has to understand that.  It’s not easy to be with someone like us.”

Kyra grinned.  She knew the girls had some great points there.  “I should try asking him some of this stuff; see if that helps him understand.”

“You really want this to work out, don’t you?” Ayla questioned.  “You really care about him.”

“I do,” Kyra replied.  “I really like him.  I want him to understand, I want to be with him.”

“There’s a price, Kyra,” Kazia warned her.  “There’s always a price.  Be careful; make sure that you are willing to pay that price before you get too committed.”

That made Kyra pause, her hope slowly vanishing.  She knew there would be a price to her decision.  A big price.  Would Lethe wait for her when she went after Nico?

“He doesn’t know,” she said.  “He doesn’t know that we’re going after Nico.  None of them do.”

Pity appeared on the faces of the others. 

“You haven’t told him?” Ayla asked.

“No,” Kyra replied.  “Every time I even mention Nico he gets all jealous.  Azra always flips out and the others get all protective.  I wanted to find a time to explain.  Maybe it will work better with you guys here.  Backup, you know?”

“You don’t think he’ll understand,” Kazia said, studying Kyra’s face.  “You think he’ll make you choose.”

“I think he knows I’ll choose Nico.  I think he knows already that I’m going, especially with you guys showing up,” Kyra said, impassively.  “I think we both have already made our choices.  It’s just a question of what happens next, if he’s willing to wait for me, if there’s a chance for us.”

“Would you do it, Kyra?” Kazia asked.  “Would you stay here, settle down; let us go after Nico without you?”

The real question hung in the air.  Would you give up everything?

“…no,” her voice was reduced to a whisper.  “Not for him.”

“Then there is no chance,” Kazia hugged Kyra.  “You know that.”

Kyra knew Kazia was right.  She couldn’t expect someone to give up everything for her if she couldn’t give the same.  It had to end.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The four girls stayed upstairs to talk for awhile more, trying to comfort Kyra, before heading back downstairs.  Kyra knew she had to talk to Lethe, and soon.  There wasn’t much time to sit around with Nico in trouble. 

Voices were echoing out of the living room.  Following the hushed tones, the girls paused at the doorway to listen in on the conversation.  Their “brothers” had already cornered Lethe.

“Would you ask her to give up her dreams, her life, everything for you?” Tanis was asking him.  “Is that fair?”

“Fair?” Lethe responded.  “Is it fair that the girl I love won’t even let me touch her in front of anyone else?  Is it fair that she would drop me in a second if any of you asked her to?”

“She’s family,” Gamble said.  “We’re all family, we’ve been through a lot together.  You need to understand her if you’re gonna stick around.  Family comes first with us.”

“Family comes first with me, too,” Lethe agreed.

“Then you should understand why she would jump if any of us were in trouble,” Ransom tried to explain to Lethe in a strained tone.

“I don’t understand,” Lethe viciously bit out.  “Not at all.  You’re asking her to go into a dangerous situation, so run right into the people who are trying to kill her.”

“We’re not asking her anything,” Alexi defended.  “We’d never ask her that.  But it’s the same with all of us, you have to understand.  We stick together.  If one of us is in trouble, it doesn’t matter how dangerous it is.  We help each other.”

“If your sister was in trouble,” Gamble asked, “would you leave her?  Just because it was dangerous?”

“Not a chance in hell,” Lethe said.  “But she isn’t your sister.  She isn’t this Nico guy’s sister.”

“Maybe not in blood,” Alexi spat, “but we are family.  Who do you think took her in after her mom left?  Even after our parents died, he refused to leave her.  He worked double shifts every day to support us.  He kept her in school to make sure she got an education.  That’s family, whether you like it or not.  We take care of our own.”

“I…” Lethe was shaking his head.  “I want to understand, but I can’t.  All I ask is for her to be safe, to stay with me.  I can protect her, too.  I can take care of her.”

“And if you ask that, then you don’t know anything about her,” Ransom said.  “Kyra’s not like that.  She doesn’t need to be taken care of.  Trust me, we’ve tried that and it didn’t work.  All her life she’s been independent, strong.  She can take care of herself.  We look out for her, sure, but we don’t ask her to do something we know she would hate.”

“Would it be that horrible for her to stay with me?” Lethe sounded depressed.

“It’s not like that,” Alexi’s voice gentled.  “What we mean is that Kyra is a free spirit.  She’s always been like that.  She can’t stand a cage.  I know her, it bugs her that she’s runnin’ away from Sammy, but at the same time, she loves it.  She loves the adventure, the travel, the life.  That’s Kyra.  Would you ask her not to be Kyra for you?”

“I really do love her,” Lethe muttered.  Kyra peaked through the crack of the door and saw that he was sitting much as she had been earlier, with his head in his hands.

“We never questioned that, did we?” Ransom asked.  He still sounded annoyed. 

Gamble cut in, “We’re just saying that if you really want to be with Kyra, then you need to love all of her.  You need to understand all of her.  If you ask her to choose, she’ll choose Nico.  Us.  Her family.”

“Looks like their taking care of the conversation for me,” she whispered to the girls.

“I can’t understand it,” Lethe was saying.  Kyra felt her heart breaking, even though she had expected that.  He went on, “I want to, I really do, but I can’t.  There are plenty of you.  Why does she have to go too?”

Closing her eyes, she leaned against the doorframe.  The last spark of hope was extinguished by his words.  If he couldn’t understand that, then he couldn’t understand her.  And if he couldn’t understand her, there was no way for them to be together.

“If you’re outside of the family, falling in love with one of us really is hell, isn’t it?” Ayla asked, rubbing Kyra’s back.

“Unless you’re part of it, you don’t understand,” Kazia replied.  “Hell, even we don’t completely understand at times.  How can anyone else?”

Kyra nodded, blinking to fight the tears.  She didn’t want it to be like this.

Straightening up, she steeled herself against the pain.  There will be time for that later, she thought, sadly.  For now, she had to get ready.

A faded ringing echoed through the hallway, catching Kyra’s attention.  Slowly, she walked to the box that she had left Jem’s cell phone in and picked it up, blinking.  Finally, she answered it.

“Kyra,” she heard a hoarse voice.  “God, Kyra…”

“Nico?” she whispered, horrified.

“Kyra,” he replied, slowly saying her name again and again.  “Kyra, they got me…”

“Nico,” she felt her heart speed up.  “Where are you?”

“No, Kyra,” he choked out.  “Don’t come, please don’t come!  That’s what they want, they want you to come.”

“I’m not leaving you,” she whispered, tears prickling her eyes.

“Kyra, I’m sorry,” he said, softly.  “They…”

It faded and she heard muffled groans.  Then, another voice filled the line.

“Hello Kyra.”

“Sammy,” she spat out, angrily.

“He’s mine, now, Kyra,” Sammy said.  “What will you do about it?”

Then, the line clicked and went dead.

A sob escaped her throat as she lowered the phone and stared at it.  Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to calm down.

“We leave today,” she said softly.  The girls nodded in reply, watching her sympathetically.

Opening the door, she stuck her head in.  “Guys,” she interrupted the conversation.  “Today.”

She walked into the room, sparing a brief glance at Lethe.  Sadly, she looked away quickly.  It would never be, she knew that now.

I can’t be his life, she thought.  And I won’t be his death.

“Am I invited?” a deep, very familiar voice said from behind her. 

Kyra blinked, recognizing it immediately.  It was the voice she had often heard in her dreams before Jem had died.  Zaki, she thought.  She straightened up immediately, glancing down to see she was still wearing her shorts and tank top that she had gone to sleep in.  Gamble, Ransom, Tanis, and Alexi were standing up slowly, staring in shock, and the girls had spun around to glare at him.

“Zaki,” she said, turning around calmly.

“Hey y’all,” he said, his eyes never leaving Kyra’s. 

“Shit,” Kazia muttered.  “Not like this situation sucked enough for Kyra as it was.”

Everyone stared at Zaki, silently, in a mixture of confusion, awe, sadness, betrayal, anger, and joy.  Kyra had no idea what to feel.

“Well,” Zaki grinned.  “Better than the welcome I expected to get.”

“Zaki,” Kyra whispered again, taking a deep breath.

“Alexi called me,” Zaki still hadn’t stopped watching her.

Alexi moved behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Didn’t expect you to get the message.  I really didn’t think you’d come.”

“One of us in danger,” Zaki shrugged.  “That trumps everything else.”

“Another one?” Freddy’s voice came from behind Zaki’s tall frame.  “Jeez, you guys multiply…”

Kyra couldn’t help but smile slightly at Freddy’s comment.

“So who’s this one?” Sarra asked, walking around Zaki to inspect him.  “And how come you have so many hot friends?”

That caused Kyra to laugh, along with the other girls.

“You have no idea how many times we’ve been asked that,” Ayla said.

“This is Zak,” Kazia supplied when Kyra didn’t speak up.  “Another one of…the family.”

Everyone noticed the pause in Kazia’s sentence.

“It’s been a long time,” he said.  His eyes burned into Kyra’s, and he smiled softly at her.  Stepping forward, he reached to cup her cheek gently.  “How are you?”

“Fine,” she said, stepping back and running into Alexi.  “Umm…”

“Well, this just got interesting,” Selarah motioned slightly to Lethe, drawing Kyra’s attention away from Zaki.

Kyra sighed.  “Friend,” she muttered, the only explanation she was willing to give.  “Lethe…” Kyra stepped away from Alexi and next to him, touching his arm.  “I think we need to talk.”

“Yeah,” Lethe muttered, angrily.  “Another friend?”

“And who is this?” Zaki raised an eyebrow, looking between Kyra and Lethe.  “Friend?”

“And the pissing contest begins,” Kazia was saying under her breath.

“Got any popcorn?” Selarah cocked her head to the side.  “This will be fun.”

Tanis, Gamble, Ransom and Alexi all glanced at each other.

“Okay, my money’s on Zak,” Tanis started.

Gamble shrugged, “I dunno, Lethe’s got the whole love thing going for him.”

“Love?” Zaki froze in his tracks and his eyes fell on Kyra again.

Kyra sighed and put her hands up.  “Enough,” she pleaded, looking at the boys. 

“Oops,” Gamble shrugged when Kyra glanced at him.  “Figured it was obvious.”

“To someone who’s been here not even five minutes?” Selarah smacked him upside the head.

“Hey!” Gamble muttered, rubbing his head.  “It was obvious to me.”

“Yeah, well, we walked in on them,” Ransom supplied with a grin.  “That makes things pretty obvious.”

“I hate you all,” Kyra glared at them.

“Ha!” Tanis said, walking up and putting his arm around her shoulders.  “You know you love us.”

Kyra just stared at him in response.

“Boyfriend?” Zaki interrupted, watching Kyra again.  He raised an eyebrow at her.

Kyra closed her eyes, her hands flying to her temples once again, as she tried to think of an answer.

“Yes, Kyra,” she heard Lethe say, sounding angry.  “What exactly am I to you?”

“Do we really need to go through this right here?” she asked, lifting her head and looking at Lethe.  “Can we talk about this somewhere else?”

“Well, I would really like to know where I stand in all of this,” Lethe crossed his arms over his chest.

“Okay, next time I’m selling tickets to this kind of thing,” Tanis stepped back with the others, watching the sparks fly between Kyra and Lethe.

“Shut up,” Alexi growled from behind her.  His hands fell on her shoulders, a silent show of support to both Lethe and Zaki.

“Oooh,” Kazia whispered loudly.  “Now she’s got three guys fighting over her.”

“Why does she get all the luck?” Selarah managed to say before giggling.

Kyra heard Sarra move over to the girls and ask, “So who has the most claim?  I mean, my brother slept with her and has pretty much fallen in love with her.  What about the other two?”

“Well, Kyra slept with Zak, he was her first,” Ayla supplied, eliciting gasps of anger and surprise from Tanis, Gamble, and Ransom, who hadn’t known that.  Kyra looked at Ayla, seeing the girl cringe and ask, “They didn’t know?”

“They do now,” Kyra said.

“Sorry,” Ayla replied, looking very apologetic.

Kyra’s eyes fell on Tanis, Gamble, and Ransom, who had all sat down on the couch in shock.  “When did this happen?” Tanis finally asked.

“The night before Zak left,” Kazia supplied.

“Gossip,” Kyra muttered, glaring at them.

“Sorry,” Kazia didn’t look the least bit sorry to Kyra.

Kyra’s gaze moved to Lethe, who was seething.  “You slept with him?”

“It was like five years ago, Lethe,” Kyra rolled her eyes.  “You really gotta get past this whole jealousy thing.”

“Isn’t that incest?” Lethe spat.

“Not blood related,” Zaki took this chance to step up next to Kyra, only to back off when Alexi’s hands tightened on her shoulders and growled at Zaki.

“Okay, this is really not going well,” Selarah said.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious!” Kyra managed to laugh, despite the issues she was facing at the moment.  “Always good to know you’re here to point out the obvious!”

“It’s a talent,” Selarah grinned.

“Can we get back on track here?” Lethe interrupted.  “I’m glad you find this situation so funny, Kyra, but I don’t.”

“You wouldn’t,” Alexi said from behind her.  “I haven’t seen you find anything funny since I got here.  All you do is sit in the corner and mope because she lets me get closer to her than you ever will.”

“I do not—“

“Guys!” Kyra interrupted Lethe before he could lose his temper.  “Really, do we need to do this?”

“Yes!” both Lethe and Alexi said in unison.

“Look, just because I’m not Mr. Happy Pants doesn’t mean—“

“Mr. Happy Pants?  Is he always this lame?” Zaki interrupted Lethe.  “Wow, Kyra, I never thought you would go for someone like that.”

“Really, Cuddle-Bunny,” Alexi snorted and she jabbed him with her elbow.

Zaki started laughing and looked over at Kyra curiously.  “Cuddle-Bunny?”

“That’s Lethe’s new nickname for her,” Alexi replied, mockingly.  Both guys burst into laughter.

“Oh, shut up,” Kyra growled, stepping away from Alexi.  She felt her face flaming.

“Cuddle-Bunny?” Zaki was still sputtering.  “And you didn’t kill him?”

“It’s not that funny,” she plopped onto the couch and glared at both of them.

“Well, at least those two are getting along for the moment,” Selarah smirked at Kyra, who flipped her off in return.

“You gotta admit, Kyra,” Alexi was trying to stop laughing.  “It is funny.”

“I didn’t think so,” Lethe leaned against the wall behind him and glared darkly at Zaki and Alexi.

“Well, we do,” Zaki said, straightening up.  “We think it’s really funny.”

“And really lame,” Alexi added, calming himself down.

“Covered this already,” Kyra was studying her nails, scowling. 

“Look, I was just trying to—“

“Be something both of you aren’t?” Alexi offered, smirking.

Lethe glared at both Zaki and Alexi, then said, “Will you please stop interrupting me?  I’m trying to say that I just wanted us to be—“

“Stupid?”

“Lame?”

“Witless?”

“Idiotic?”

“You guys can stop now,” Kyra interrupted the game Zaki and Alexi were playing.

“I wanted us to be normal!” Lethe exploded.  “I wanted us to be like a normal couple, happy, together, no worries or any of that.”

“Well, here’s a news flash,” Alexi said, his previous playfulness vanishing.  “Kyra’s not normal.  Even without all of the worries, she would never be this normal person you want.  If she didn’t have to hide, do you think she’d be hanging around here?”

“Not likely,” Zaki jumped in before Lethe could say anything.  “Look, man, I know the sentiment.  We’ve all wanted normal at some point or another.”

Tanis, Gamble, Ransom, Alexi, Selarah, Kazia, and Ayla all nodded in agreement with that statement while Kyra looked down at her feet.

“Whether we like it or not, we’re not normal.  We never were,” Zaki continued.  “Even before all this shit happened, we were different.  We never wanted to settle down and start a family, or to have a steady job.  Shit, in high school all of the counselors thought we were insane because none of us wanted to hold a steady career.”

“Kyra’s not like that.  None of us are,” Alexi said.  “We have other plans with life.  Bigger plans.”

“I know that!” Lethe said, looking away.  “I know Kyra.  She would be fine with me.”

“Really?” Alexi raised an eyebrow.  “Fine with you?  You want her to stay here, since when is she fine with that?  See, I always thought she wanted to travel, to see the world.  Last I heard, she wasn’t ready to settle down.”

“Funny, I heard that too,” Zaki interjected.  “It was the same thing five years ago.  Are you sure she would be fine with you, Lethe?  Are you absolutely positive that she wants to stay here with you?”

“Guys, stop it,” Kyra sighed.  They were breaking it off with Lethe for her, something she needed to do for herself.

“Kyra, is this true?” Lethe asked, looking at her with a hurt expression.  “Do you not want to stay here?”

“Have you not listened to a word any of us have said to you in the past few days?” Alexi muttered, shaking his head.  “Seriously, I’ve tried to explain it to you, this morning we were explaining it to you, I know Kyra’s tried.  Have you actually listened to anything here?”

“Kyra?” Lethe was still asking.

Standing up, she shot a glare at Alexi and Zaki, then said, “Come on, Lethe, let’s go talk about a few things.”

Before anyone could say anything, Kyra had grabbed Lethe’s arm and fled the room and into the kitchen, closing the door behind them.

“We seem to end up talking here a lot,” Lethe growled.  “Who the hell was that one?  And don’t tell me he was just family unless you have incest in this family.”

“Stop it, Lethe,” she closed her eyes.  “That’s not fair.”

“Who is he?” Lethe roared.

“Why are you so damned jealous all the time?” Kyra shouted back.  “He’s a friend, that’s all.  Once upon a time some stuff, but that was five years ago.”

“And now?” Lethe spat.  “He sure as hell was looking at you like he wanted you back.”

“Lethe, he never cared about me like that,” Kyra rubbed her head.  “We had one night, and he left.  He disappeared without a word.  And what the hell is with this?  I can understand jealousy to a point, but can’t you trust me?”

“Trust you?” Lethe shot back.  “You disappear with Alexi all the time, I have no clue what happens there.  You take off to talk to the girls—“

“About you!” she interrupted.

“And there’s a lot going on here that you aren’t telling me,” he continued.

“That’s because we can’t talk without an argument.  There’s no time to tell you anything when you can’t get over the fact that I’m close to my family,” Kyra yelled.

Lethe slammed his fist into the wall.  “First Nico, now him,” he grunted.  “You’re family sure is close!”

Kyra reeled back, angry.  “That’s not fair.  There was never anything with Nico, and if you would listen for once, you would know that.  And as for Zaki, well, that’s history.  You have no right to use that against me.”

“I don’t understand this, Kyra,” Lethe said.  “I don’t understand you!”

“Exactly,” she whispered.  “That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to tell you.  That’s why this isn’t gonna work.  You don’t understand me.”

“Why can’t it?” Lethe asked.  “Why?”

“Lethe, weren’t you listening to anything that the guys were telling you?  That I’ve been telling you?” she replied, sadly.  She knew what she had to do.  “I…I Lethe, if I were different, or could change myself like I want to, I know I could love you much better than this.  One day, I know you’ll find someone who can give herself up completely for you. I just wish it could’ve been me.”

Lethe’s eyes met hers, shock and hurt written all over his face.  “Kyra…”

“No,” she held a hand up.  “It’s time for this to end.  We both knew from the start that this wasn’t going to work.”

It hurt her more than anything to see him nod in agreement to that statement.  A part of her wanted him to scream, to yell, to fight for her.  To stop her from walking away.  But he didn’t.  She nodded and smiled softly, a smile that was torn between sadness for what could never be and happiness for what was if only for a short time.  Then, turning, she walked away.  He didn’t follow her.

They could never be together, she realized.  Somehow, she had a feeling that Lethe knew it as well.  Others may have disillusioned themselves, convincing themselves that love would conquer all, but the two of them knew reality.  They both understood that no matter how much they loved each other, no matter what they wanted, it was not meant to be.  What they felt had never been meant to happen.  They had somehow cheated fate for a short time, creating an alternate reality for themselves to experience their love.  Fate had caught up to them, though, and had put things back as they were meant to be. 

Inside, she was crying, screaming, dying.  Outside, she was cool and calm, she didn’t care.  It killed her to do this, to walk by him as though he was not there, as though he didn’t exist, but she knew she had to.  It was the only way to save him.  To save them both.  Even if he had fought for her, she wouldn’t put him at such a risk.  So she continued to walk as though he didn’t matter to her.  Though she deserved the guilt that was already building up inside of her, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.  She could already see the expression that was on his face in her mind’s eye.  She could practically hear his heart breaking, the same as hers, his eyes filled with sorrow and that single broken wish they both shared.  A part of her knew she should look, to see what he looked like, to get all the guilt she truly deserved, but she stubbornly refused to.  If she looked, he would see.  He would see right through her façade, straight into her soul.  He would see her emotions as he always did and how much it hurt her to do this to him. 

As it should be, she thought sadly.  He cannot be my life, and I will not be his death.

As she opened the kitchen door, his voice made her pause.

“You’re going after him, aren’t you?  That’s why all these people showed up.”  It wasn’t a question, so she didn’t answer.  He continued, bitterly, “In the end, you choose him.  Were you even going to tell me that you gallivanting off to play knight in shining armor to your little friend?”

Kyra took one last look at him over her shoulder.  Not turning, she replied, “No.  I wasn’t going to tell you.”

She heard his angry scoff as she shut the door behind her, walking towards the living room where everyone was waiting patiently.

Azra stepped in her path, stopping her. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

Kyra nodded, mutely.

“You weren’t going to tell me?” Azra looked hurt.

Kyra sighed.  “We didn’t want to worry you, and we wanted to give you the chance to live the life you want.”

“I want to go with,” Azra whispered.

“No,” Kyra replied.  “And don’t lie, you’re horrible at it.  I know you don’t want to go with.  You have a good thing going here, Azra.”

Azra looked down, sadly.  “I wish…I wish I could be more like you, Kyra.  I wish I could have the guts to go after them like this.”

Kyra didn’t respond, all she could do was stare down at the floor, sadly.

 “This isn’t right!” Azra cried out, swiping at the tear that was running down her cheek.  “Why can’t you have a happy ending for once?

Kyra looked at Azra, the girl who had been scared out of her mind but had stuck by Kyra anyways through the last few months.  She smiled slightly.  “Some things aren’t meant to be, Azra.  You know as well as I do that this is one of them.”

 “I was never…I wasn’t that close to my cousins, you know that,” Azra continued.  “I wish it wasn’t like that, but it’s the truth.  My parents and theirs never got along…and after their parents died, well, we weren’t there for them like we should have been.  I know that you four were a family, that you and Jem got them through the hard times.  I understand, Kyra, why you need to do this.  If I were in your position, I would do the same thing.”

Kyra reached out and took her friend’s hand.  “Thank you,” she whispered, finally realizing just how much she had wanted Azra’s acceptance.

“I was always jealous of you, you know,” Azra said, not looking at her.  “You had the kind of relationship with the guys, the kind of family thing that I always wanted.”

“They love you, Az,” Kyra replied.  “They wanted me to bring you with; they made me promise I would.  They were afraid you would get hurt.”

Azra’s head shot up, surprise flitting across her face.  “They…”

“Yeah,” Kyra nodded.  “They were worried about you.”

Azra smiled softly, squeezing Kyra’s hand.  “Get my cousin back, got it?  And he better come back safe.”

Kyra laughed quietly.  “I will do everything I can to bring them back to you,” she said, getting serious again.

“I know,” Azra said.  “I think that’s why I’ve been so afraid to have you leave…because I knew the odds were against you coming back.  They still are, aren’t they?”

Kyra nodded, slowly.  “I won’t lose another one of them,” she whispered.  “I won’t let that happen.”

“I know,” Azra let go of Kyra’s hand.  “What about Lethe?”

Kyra didn’t say anything.  She turned and looked out the window.

“Kyra?” Azra asked again.  “What about Lethe?”

Kyra stared at her friend impassively.  She and Lethe were from two separate worlds.  She couldn’t ask him to betray his friends, to follow with her, though he had tried to ask the same of her.  He would never understand her world. 

“He has…his own life to lead, just like you do,” she said.  “We put an end to something that never should have begun.”

Azra sighed sadly and nodded.  “I…”

“Take care of yourself, Az,” Kyra smiled at her again, touching her cheek.  She didn’t make any promises to Azra about coming back herself.  Both of the girls knew that the promises would be empty, that there was a good chance some of them wouldn’t return from this.

“Have your great adventure,” Azra smiled back at Kyra.  “This is what you are.”

Kyra pulled Azra into a quick hug, then stepped back and nodded to the others.  It was time for them to go.  She started towards the door, reaching down only to grab the backpack that she had left in the closet for this kind of situation.

Not even risking a glance over her shoulder, she walked outside, turning to continue down the road, sensing as her “family” fell into step around her.  She felt the eyes of the others watching her out the window, along with the anger, the hurt, and the sadness they were feeling at her abandonment.  She wouldn’t stop though, her feet continued to move on their own.  It’s the right thing to do, she told herself.

Stopping once they all reached town to lean against a brick wall, she sighed and laid her head back.  The others continued into the bus station, leaving her with Alexi.  Zaki paused for a moment, but went with them when Kazia grabbed his arm.

Alexi stepped up beside her to lean against the wall and unceremoniously dropped his bag beside hers.  She looked up into his eyes, a ghost of a smile touching her face briefly.

 “You sure this is what you want to do?” he asked, gently.

Kyra didn’t answer.  She just looked out across the road at the bus station in front of them.

 “You really love him, don’t you?” he asked, his voice softening.

“Does it matter?” she replied, bitterly.

“I guess not.”

“Yes,” she said, after several minutes pause.  “I love him.”

“So, why did you do it?” he asked.  He knew the answer, she was sure of it, but he wanted to make her say it.

“Same reason that you never went back to Carly,” she replied.  “I love him.”

“You did the right thing,” he stated.

“I know, Alexi,” she whispered.  “That doesn’t stop if from hurting.”

“It’s gonna hurt.  A lot,” he replied with another squeeze.  “You knew that from the beginning.  But you chose right in doing this.  They would kill him if you hadn’t.”

Sighing, she let her head hang.  “I never should have allowed it to happen.”

“To love someone, so much, yet know you can never be together, it breaks the heart.  It is a wish, one that will never come true.  A broken wish,” he hugged her tightly before stepping back and turning her around to face him.  “People like us can’t afford to love.  We may not be able to stop it, but we learn to hide it.  We have to, in order to survive.  He’ll get over it and move on.  He may not understand it…maybe he’ll never even know it, but you saved him.”

“He’ll find someone else,” she said.  She didn’t like the idea, but she knew that he deserved to be happy.

“What’s this?” Alexi looked down at her, almost confused.  “What happened to the Kyra I knew, never letting anything get her down and always up for adventure?  This isn’t you, kiddo.  You can’t be what he wanted you to me.”

“I know,” she replied, sadly. 

He sighed and tugged her to his side, wrapping an arm around her.

“But it doesn’t matter.  It never would.”

“Love isn’t our thing,” he said.  “We can’t put those we care about in that position.”

She shook her head, pulling away and grabbing her bag.

“Kyra…” he said, his eyes full of understanding.  “You can’t do this alone.  We’re all together again.  Let us help you through this.  And together, we’ll finish this shit with Sammy.”

 “You think there’s hope to finish this?” she asked.  “Hope to…”

“There’s always hope,” he said with a sad smile.  “Always.”

Kyra nodded, knowing he was right.  As long as they all stuck together, there was hope.

 “So I suppose we should get what’s left of our little group, huh?”  He cocked his head to the side and studied here.  “Nico’s still caught up in this.  You up for a little mission?”

A smile spread slowly across her face, wiping away the sadness that had been there.  “I guess it’s our turn to rescue him.”

“There’s the girl I know,” he grinned at her, bumping her shoulder with his as they walked towards the bus station. 

“Well,” she looked up at him, “we do need to end this once and for all.  I’m tired of running.  I want to be able to go where I want without having to worry.”

“Then let’s do it,” he laughed.  “But, one thing.  No more splitting up.  We stick together from now on…I think we’re stronger together.”

“We always could handle anything when we were together,” she said with a fond smile.  “We take care of our own.  No one gets left behind ever again.  So let’s go save Nico’s ass.”

“Great!” Alexi grinned.  “But…can we stop for food first?  I’m starving.”

Kyra burst into laughter and shoved him lightly as they climbed onto the bus, joining all of their friends.

 

Chapter Eleven

 

 

Sometimes lovers are star-crossed from the beginning, and therefore their tales do not come to happy ends. Sometimes lovers put themselves in positions so that it is impossible for their story to have a happy ending. Sometimes we think fate has dealt a hard card against us, when in truth, it has only sent us down the right paths, even if they are the hardest and longest. We can often not see the wisdom in the hard decisions we have made, we can only see the pain. Only feel the regret, the wistfulness of wishes for “What if?” and “What might have been?” Kyra wrote in the journal that Azra had tucked into her bag.  I found that little thing online somewhere.  I think it is right.  It’s not always about what you want or need; sometimes it’s about what’s best for everyone else.  I doubt Lethe will forgive me for this, but the choice was mine to make.  Maybe someday, we will run into each other again.  Maybe we’ll get another chance.  I think I love him, and I think he loved me.  But we were never given the chance to figure it out.  He deserves better than what I can give him.  I can’t be who he needs me to be.  I hope one day he understands that.  I wish…I suppose it doesn’t matter what I wish.  To love someone, so much, yet know you can never be together, it breaks the heart.  It is a wish, one that will never come true.  It’s only a broken wish

.

Glancing up at her friends, she smiled softly.  Alexi was sitting on the ground, playing cards with Gamble and Tanis, while Zaki and Ransom leaned against a pillar not far from them, staring off into the distance.  The girls were coming up the stairs from finding some coffee.

 

I won’t let Jem down, she continued to write.  I promised him I would look after the boys, and that’s just what I’ll do.  I still miss him.  There’s a hole in my world where he used to be, one that I don’t think will ever completely go away.  But since Alexi showed up, that hole has begun to fill a bit, not quite as deep and dark as it was.  I think that getting Nico back will help to fill that hole up a bit more.  I still don’t know what the future will bring, but at least I’ll be putting my family back together.  Maybe I’ll be able to find myself again as well. 

If only…she sighed, pausing in her writing once more.  I don’t know why all of this has ended up the way it has.  It wasn’t supposed to be this way…but then, for all I know, maybe Lethe and I weren’t supposed to be together.  That seems wrong though.  From the moment I met him, I felt something for him.  Maybe I saw too much into it though.  Maybe I only saw what I wanted to see. I didn’t know him that long, and I didn’t know him that well.  Am I missing him, or the idea of him?  I don’t know for sure.  I guess only time will tell.  All I know right now is that it does hurt, a lot.

 I wouldn’t change that for anything…well, I probably wouldn’t.  Jem… I messed up.  Big time.  Alexi tried to tell me it was more than that, but I can’t help but wonder if he would still be here if I had never met Scott that day.  I wish I could go back, to see him one last time.  I remember so much, his smile, his laughter…Sometimes I space out, remembering things.  The warm summer nights we used to spend under the stars in the park, the games we would play when we were young.  He was always there with me, and he is in nearly every memory I have.  I know that there is no way to change what has happened.  If only life came with erasers, so that I could go back and fix things.  If only I had been the mature one, if only I hadn’t been so stubborn…maybe he’d still be here today and we would be together as we had always been…

I know that’s impossible though.  Nothing can bring Jem back now.  It’s too late, he’s gone forever, to a place and time I know that I can never catch up with, despite all the jokes I make about him waiting for us.  But our time is over.  As much as my heart wishes that it wasn’t true, I know that it is.  Perhaps sometime, in another life, we will all be together again like we were before, and maybe then, we will stay together.  I still wish, though, with all my heart, to go back to those times before Scott and Sammy, before Nico’s and Alexi’s parents died, back to the innocence, the love, and the fearlessness.  Back to the past, the times when we were all together and everything was okay.  Back before life became hard, back before we were caught up in the whirlwind of reality, back when fantasy was reality.  If only…

But he has gone on and I am still here.  Alexi is still here.  Nico is still here.  And Nico needs out help.  I will not leave him there to die.  We will get Nico back, and the three of us…well, we’ll be together at least.  It won’t be the same, I know that.  Nothing can ever be the same.  But we will start again, all of us.  And maybe we can be happy.

 

Her pen stilled as a whistle blew through the air, signaling that their train had arrived.

“Ready to go?” Alexi asked as she shut the journal.

“I was born ready,” she replied, cocky, accepting the hand that Alexi was offering her.

Alexi pulled her up and draped an arm around her shoulders, still watching Zaki carefully.  “He better not…”

“Alexi,” she smirked at him.  “Weren’t you just saying that I can take care of myself?”

Alexi looked down at her, chewing on his lip.  Finally, he said, “Does that mean I don’t get to beat up Scott?”

Laughing, she replied, “No, I think you can still take care of that part.”

 “Well, then,” Alexi puffed up arrogantly.  “Let’s go take care of this shit.”

“You up for an adventure, Kyra?” Tanis interrupted their moment.

“I’m always up for an adventure,” she smirked in reply.  Never once glancing over her shoulder, she pulled herself up onto the train with her friends. 

 

“Nothing can touch us!” Jem’s voice echoed through the night air.

“Yeah!” Alexi roared, throwing his fist in the air.  Tanis, Selarah, Kazia, and Gamble danced around them as Ayla and Gamble laughed.  Even Zaki found their antics amusing. 

 “And why is that?” Nico asked, smiling at them.  “What makes you think you can handle anything?

Kyra grinned.  “Cuz we’re the best there ever was!”

 

 

END PART ONE