Buffett Quotes

 

"I know one thing: Indecision may or may not be my problem"

 

"This is great, good, god-damned fun..."

 

"Life and ink, they run out at the same time. Or said my old friend the squid."

 

"The problem with some people is when they aren't drunk, they are sober."

 

"If I had it all to do over again, I'd just get myself drunk and jump right back in."

 

"If you decide to run with the ball, just count on fumbling and getting the shit knocked out of you, but never forget how much fun it is just to be able to run with the ball."

 

 

Steven Wright Quotes

 

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."

 

"I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child."

 

"I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said, "I don't know.' I said, 'I don't want your job.'"

 

"My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them."

 

"Last year we drove across the country. We switched on the driving...every half mile...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip...I don't remember what it was."

 

"A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it.'"

 

"I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing."