Envy destroys and tattters my soul and I watch pieces of it flutter and fade away... As jealousy turns it green and it deteriorates away...
Envious of my own self and the life I once led. I used to have the most beautiful experiences and know the most beautiful people, but somehow I let that fade. And I hate it...
Knowin what was and would could've been... And as it eats away I discover the nature of this sin...
I'm envious of those who have created their destiny... while I'm seemingly forced to sit by and watch. And fall victim to the traps set by fate... And told one of those will be my day....
Those whose lives have been served on a silver plattered... never shattered with heartache and tears... never lived a wasted year... never been battered with reality... those who have never battled with their sanity... and in life never became a casuality
Envy erases my mind fram as I begin to totally unravel.. and my eyes become green but not because of my genes...
But because I am plagued with wanting what they have, made cuz they have what I so desperatly want... the simple things in life... for them having the chance to experience the things that I never will...
The itty bitty things that they take for granted... my heart aches for them knowing that as far as I know I eternally missed out... somethings will never come to be again.. I will live in eternity forever plauged by this one deadly sin..
For one lifetimes passes too fast. And as far as we know this is all we have...
But it is the amenities contained within which is what I so despertaly want and look at with jealous eyes and know that green can never get me.
I have eternally missed out. And only envy surrounds me.
� 2002 Skandelous LaLa (All rights reserved)
I can't take one drink, can't take just one hit, can't some just one cigarette
I must have more.. to ease the stress, help heal the pain, over indulgence in the most poisonous thangs...
I want more and more and I'll steal to get it...sneak out when no one is looking and take what I want
As the disease of addiction springs from gluttonous ways
On disturbing substances I prey to take the pain away
One cigarette to relieve the stress... turns into just one more and leads to a cancerous death
One more drink from the bottle leads to a struggle to maintain sobriety, but I like how rotten barley alters my reality and one more sip strengthens my mentality
One more hit and before I know it, I'm totally lit... dazed and confused... but then at that moment the whole world makes sense to me... and I am transported to a safe place of how it used to be...
I wake up happy
but I'm dying
Everyday I'm dying...
It's killing me
But without it I cease to also be
Perhaps it isn't that bad
After all.. can't over indulgence in nothingness also be consider gluttony?
� 2002 Skandelous LaLa (All rights reserved)