HANDS
As I allow myself to fall into a deep sleep, I enter a chamber of horrors.  Symbolism mingles with reality and the ghosts of the past arise!   Arise they do, in the depths of my soul; to haunt my dreams, for the rest of my life, so it seems! --
I feel their grotesque touch as their hands reach for me from the veils of hell! -- I scream of fear - screams from within -- for no one can hear me - no one - for I am alone!
They are monsters, I do not want them to touch me again - they paw at me, I move away yet they are everywhere, there is no way out! They grab and their hands feel so real,  their hands taking me, choking me, touching me, raping what is left of my soul and sanity, my stomach turns ill! - HATE, ANGER, DISGUST, TEARS OF HOPELESSNESS, ANXIETY flood my emotions! - Yet I feel myself twist and turn!  Only sometimes, do I know it's just a dream and still, I can not awake!! - It takes all my strength to reach out - to scream for conscienceness!

SELF ANALYSIS!

 -- As i awake screaming- trembling - yearning for an embrace of love to calm, a touch of passion to balance the pain, looking for the eyes of a "MAN" that I can trust!
I believe these nightmares are from a lifetime of sexual and physical abuse by the hands of so called "MEN"!   Though I am very angry and yet, I still possess a hope that there is ONE man in this world that I can trust!  I am tormented by the reminders of the monsters that  I have trusted in the past.  Monsters who have tried to pass themselves off as men!  --- Lately these reminders have been reachiing out in my dreams and reliving the violence - the emotions are real, and with each night terror, I find myself still cursed, alone, no one to trust, no one to hold me in the night.  No one to help fight these monsters that still haunt my soul!


 

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