++ alpenglow ++
Wednesday, 2 November, 2005 3:15 AM

okayy this entry is longlonglong overdue. cos nowadays when i get home i'm too tired to update. so here i am.

fri evening, ocs' birthday dinner with ocs salt lix mingyan jeremy. after salt left the girls went to look at food while the guys went to shop for clothes. role reversal isn't it. haha. then went with ocs to lix's house where lix ate peanut-free peanut butter O_o and we watched school of rock with the help of subtitles cos lix's speakers are only partially conscious haha. it's all right lix, really, thanks for having us over okayy =)

sat was water training at kallang. short run [which, surprise surprise! was actually quite short, 2km only], stretching [happy meals!] and 4 or 5 laps in the water. not too bad. then dinner at plaza sing food court with yashu joanne julie fidelis andy nat jeremy.

sun, lunch with the family at wisma's food republic. then home for dota, i like dota more and more all the time =)

mon, met up with lai phway lizzy for brunch at crystal jade, followed by a little shopping and almost-ice-creaming at galileo. ahh i love galileo. must go back there more often. haha. the food and the decor are wahhh.

then chionged down to kallang for water training yet again, but short one cos alot of people were late and the club closes early. stretching and 4 laps CONTINUOUS. my arms almost dropped off. dinner with my team at meridien great treat: kelvin nat fidelis kellyn eve wenyi yanwei weiping chloe yashu darren joshua shaun andy sheng jeremy! not for the first time, i'm glad we started canoeing, cos if not i'd never get to know all these great people. i managed to get discounts on sliced fish beehoon for eve kellyn and myself. ask and you shall receive, sheng! are you jealous?? HAHA. afterwards, the whole team played zong ji mi ma with agar agar which the guys took great delight in dropping all over the table, rubbing with tissue [not clean tissue, mind you] and manhandling in various ways. yucks hahaha but damn funny larh.

today, pw day. went all the way to simei [SIMEI! not that i have anything against simei, but do you know how damn far that is] val's house to work on op. huge overhaul, i think it's gonna be much improved now. then back to novena to meet lai jacq xt yongyi just to walk a little while. see i'm so nice, i come all the way down just to see you guys okay! be touched! haha! walked jacq back home then took bus to orchard. had dinner with family at some quite cool japanese restaurant on emerald hill.

i don't know. everything's so complicated suddenly. people do things for many different reasons and feelings. and all these reasons and feelings are merely delicate shades, layer upon layer of the matter itself; like sunlight dancing on water, ephemeral and many-coloured, each hue different from the rest, yet subtle enough that it is hard to see and even harder to catch. everything is complicated. because everything has so many different separate component reasons and feelings all contributing to it. it's hard to understand what motivates someone to do what they do. but even harder to think of how to respond in order to have a happy ending. i'm learning so much about people. sociology and psychology. sort of. and yet the more i learn, the more i realise i don't know. i'm a different me today from the me i was a year or so ago. cos i've been through so much and it's shaped who i am. i'm getting stronger i think. all this stuff is part of growing up i guess. but can drive one crazy, thinking so much. i'm confused. and actually, i know more than i let on sometimes. i feel like there's all this stuff bouncing around in my head that i can't pin down, like a silent scream echoing between soundless walls. alot's been happening lately. not that i'm gonna talk about it here except in abstract terms, but then that's nothing new is it?

and to you: i'm sorry, please don't be sad? i don't mean to make you sad, i don't want you to be sad. it's not what it seems, really. please try to understand, i need some time to think over this, to come to terms with it. and to come to terms with myself as well. i really don't know what to think or feel anymore.

geog project tomorrow. like whoa. this whole hols has been full of projects so far. dies. why so much project work. haha. hopefully will be going out after that. yeah. i needa go out more!

thrice's vheissu is music you can really rock too. damn delicious stuff. i like =)

gaming is such a great escape from reality. and sometimes, it's all i wanna do.

can you see the sky turn red
as morning's light breaks over me
know tonight we'll make our bed
at the bottom of the sea

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