++ so bury me, in memory. ++
Tuesday, 6 September, 2005 4:30 AM

they say ignorance is bliss.

they say curiosity killed the cat.

whoever "they" are, they got it right. i should like to meet "them" - "they" seem to know it all - and ask "them": why didn't "they" tell me all this stuff before? cos then i wouldn't have pursued the past, cos then i wouldn't have learnt what i did, and cos then i wouldn't be going through all this shit. not that it was exactly bliss before, but it was certainly better than this. leave the past alone. it's gone. it's over.

... or is it?

a million questions i can't ask; a million thoughts i can't express

the past still has a hold on the present. if it would only just let go. maybe that's why things are the way they are now. i really don't know. there was a time when i thought it could be. maybe it just sprang from a need to fill the void left by the past. maybe it came from a desire to fill the hole that's been there for the longest time.

or maybe, the past will fade with time. just my imagination running away with me, right? tell me there's still hope.

i can't say. but i wish i knew for sure.

sometimes, your mind speaks too loudly for you to hear what your heart is saying. if you're gonna listen to your heart, your mind had better shut up first.

it's past 4am and i don't feel like sleeping. i would cry, but i'm not the type to cry. and i've gone so long without shedding tears that i've pretty much forgotten how to do it already. heck, it doesn't really hurt that much anyway, somehow. it's more like. bothersome perhaps. maybe i won't sleep at all tonight. or maybe i should go straight to sleep so that at least, i won't have to think anymore.

man. talk about coincidences. who would have thought that 2 people who don't even know each other would end up sharing the only thing they have in common. it's crazy. and almost scary.

and she said: don't give up

i'm not giving up i'm not giving in just... maybe changing direction. it's not in my nature to give up. just have to see how things play out. yeah, i'll ride through this storm.

you're not my favourite mistake
you're just a simple regret

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