Tips for to be a healthy liver
(The dialect is spelled like that for a reason. e.g. thinkin'  )
Over the Years I've collected many sayings. Some are common, some aren't so common, Just letting you know I didn't make all these up. Oh yeah by the way, read the statement below.
In the status bar it seems your c:\ drive is being formatted. Luckily for you, this is fake.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  • Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because you don't have a leg to stand on. cannot be solved by orders ending with 'or die.' - Alistar JR.. Young
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  • After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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  • If you get thinkin' you're a person of influence, try ordering someone else's dog around.
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  • When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
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  • If your ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
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  • Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to swallow them.
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  • Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
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  • Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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  • There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple car payments.
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  • Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school -  you'll be working for them in the future.
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  • When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surpassed if they learn there lesson.
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  • Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. 
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  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your back pocket.
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  • If you lend someone $20 and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
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  • Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days your the statue.
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  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is to simply serve as a warning to others.
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  • If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.
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  • REVISED EDITION: If life gives you lemons, squeeze them and make lemonade out of them.
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    Shorter Tips
  • Don't Squat with your spurs on
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  • Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
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  • Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
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  • Never eat yellow snow.
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  • If you can't be your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
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  • If your not part of the solution, be part of the problem. (or vice versus)
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  • Never buy a car you can't push The early worms get eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
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  • Don't fry bacon in the nude (ouch).
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  • If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught, then lie.
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  • If you can't be kind at least have the decency to be vague.
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  • Always drink upstream from the herd.
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  • Never pet a burning dog.
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  • Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.
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  • If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
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  • Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their makers.
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  • You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.
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  • Never miss a good chance to shutup.
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  • When everything's coming your way, your in the wrong lane.
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  • Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
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  • It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
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    More Coming Soon....................

    05/08/2001

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    Crodeman 2001
    David Croteau


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