Well back to Ben, there are a few rumours about how his obsession started, but theres only one person who know's the truth....
One fine day in an R.E. lesson Tom Jones got bored. (No we're not in Wales in the 1940's, there are strangely 2 people in Burwell aged 17 called Tom Jones, but ours lives in Bottisham and is 16)
So Tom was bored...so he found some tipex (as guys do, even though no guy owns that type of white stuff) and wrote 'I LOVE SHEEP' on Bens pencil case.
We had a laugh with them and thought nothing of it, until.....
We found out what Ben gets up to on his holidays, frolicing NAKED in fields with strange and exotic breeds of sheep.
Well this hit the nail on the head really. Ben was known there after as Ben the Sheep Shagger. And all sheep feared they might be next on his hit list of sexdom.
Ben couldn't risk being caught again, and just as the ridicule was easing off, foot and mouth hit, never the less he was devistated. The regular midnight frolics he had been planning had to be cancelled.
The wonderful and talented girl April joined his badminton classes. Ben was shunned to the shadows by Aprils shinnnig talent and he was banished to Sheep in the Big City.
Some say he fled to Darbyshire and is disquised as a rogue mountain goat, jumping, humping and duming on weiry sheep.
But I say he was killed by a karate sheep he tried to sneak up on.
How do I know.......?
I AM THE KARATE SHEEP, because I have OO-NAG-AY!!!!
(High pitched evil laughter follows)
Now people wonder why I became the leader of an Organisation with Aspirations of Complete Anialation of Sheep Shaggers.
I did this, because while on a school trip in Darbyshire there was an incident with Ben and a rather unfortunate ewe.
There was an eye witness to this account, he saw this distressing scene whilst out on an early morning jog with Mr Mills (the human goatman...has he toyed with Ben?)
We noticed Phils strange behavoir at breackfast that morning, and after hours of tough, yet extremely polite interrigation, I finally drummed it out of him.
It wasn't pleasent seeing him re-live the horror of Ben fucking a ewe.
Well I had to take up my duty of protecting Phil from sheep as he was now petrified of them. He thought he may see Bens head bobbing up n down at any point.
Well thats when he got the death threat from a sheep saying he had to join in or else!!
But it turned out to be a couple of my mates mucking about. But poor Phil went doo-lally!!
So from then on I became the leader of an Organisation with Aspirations of Complete Anialation of Sheep Shaggers. (OACASS for short).
