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Name: Kevin Christen
Aliases: KC Power, K to the C
Weapon: Vulcan curveball and knuckleballs, tree trunk bat, kid-like appearence (deceptive)
Drunk Quote: Jesus Moses! (which he denies!)
D.O.B?: Who the f*** cares... probably mid-90's, looking at his file photo.
Height: No, he doesn't puff the magic dragon... oh, high-t... shit.
Why He Rules: He co-created "Bread Baseball" and was the real kid to free Willy (check the credits!)
Quest: To learn how to hit Day's Canadian bean bag juker pitch, which stuck him out. Some say he fouled it off, but it was a homerun derby, so either way- psych!
Story Hour: Once upon a time, KC went to Canada with some fellow party guys... most of them, in fact. Tacl sold out, but hey, he is cool now. Anyway, bitter feelings aside, Hoffer and El Webdogo were playing blackjack with the famed dealer of the Club Regent, Pam, when KC walked up with his massive, reflective shades and smacked a $1 coin (called a "Loony" by our northern neighbors). He shouted, "Change for a dollar!" and Pam said, "This is a $5 minimum bet table..." Then he had to take off the shades. The red is still in his cheeks... but it was probably beer that night. The skeleton told him to find Waldo. He was drunk, too. |
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When Kevin Q. Christen is mentioned, a lot of people say, "Who?" But they suck, because anyone who really knows something realizes how damn cool KC is. A state champion in the sport of baseball and lovemaking, he has held seminars on both in the floor lounges of Tommy 2 and Pat 4, respectively. If K-Doggy Dogg were a Care Bear, he'd be the one with all of the Brooke Burke posters. He's obsessed, but still a step away from the stalking level. The Party Guys have agreed to wait until he is there so that hilarious results can occur freely. A nice guy to the letter... the letter C... he never wants to hurt a friend's feelings. Hoffman rented a poster for him, crushed it up while "transporting" it, and Kc still hung it up after trimming away the fat. If you took a poll, anyone who has heard KC's "You bastard", said like Peter Griffin of Family Guy, they will bet their favorite pet that he's the best there ever was, and the best there ever will be. The infamous inventor of the cheeseburger currency, KC will tell you that his money is not the root of all evil, but the satisfier of hunger and sexual urges. Well, maybe not, but get off his back, you steroid monkey! When combined with Ch/Kris Day, Kc is in his natural environment. Lord Winthrop will gladly recount the tale of trying to catch up to KC and Chris after the two had been carousing in St. Joe. He quotes, "It was like chasing desert leopards on a snowy afternoon with my pants around my ankles and a fine... what now?" Whatever he meant, he surely has experienced the insanity of the mullet. And KC, too, since this is about him, after all. Damn attention hog... but at least he's hot. |
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