Matt Hoffman
Vital Stats:
Name: Matthew John Hoffman
AKA: Hoff'man',  Matty Styles
DOB: same as King Hippo
Music style: Ska/punk
Weapon: basketball, wit, charm
Beverage: Colt 45 w/oj (his rendition of brass monkey
Quest:  To own every Less Than Jake collectable item ever.
Most Amazing feat: Ordered a Cold Cut Trio and thought it was a Spicy Italian for over 7 hours before eating it and swearing.
Noteworthy Quote: "Chris, gems are semi-precious stones."
Known for:  having an accident prone face
Funny Reef Story:  One day at lunch while waiting in line Hoffman got a glance of what they were serving and exclaimed "Alright!! French Toast!!! I can't believe we're having french toast!!!"  He was so excited that we didn't have the heart to tell him it was actually grilled cheese.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"  This is a phrase that our beloved Matt hears a lot.  His off the wall, out of the blue, crazy ass remarks often put innocent bystanders in shock.  If you aren't on top of your game his comments will blow you away, and even at times no matter how ready you are they are still way over your head.  Matt also has a very interesting fascination with fish.  He owns and maintains his own aquarium, and just recently constructed his own carbon dioxide generator, he claims it was easy, but it sounds pretty intense.  He hopes to have a career in fish grooming and breeding.  Someday he hopes to breed a walleye and a salmon to make what he would call a walmon.  Matt is also convinced that he is in a ska/punk band called "Stainless Hero" and that he is the lead singer, despite the band never having practice or a drummer.  We are rooting for him, but we are not sure about the outcome.  If those two careers fall through he has hoop dreams and he's got them bad, and he has mad basketball skills to fulfill his dream, some say he has the guard play of LeBron James, and the coolness of Yao Ming.  Matt is surely one of the crazier characters in the group, and no matter what his future holds he will always be a party guy. 
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