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**Breaking News....sorta**
It has been discovered that Kris Day formerly known as Chris Day legally spells his name with a 'K'. This has left many of the worlds citizens lost in a state of disbelief. How could such a cute cuddily guy commit such identity fraud?!?! This reporter is both shocked and disgusted
Name:: Christopher Jon Day
AKA: Dayman, Day, Pizzaman Chris, Buckley, Chip
D.O.B: 11-12-83
Beverage: Any chick drink
Weapon: soccer ball, or exploding jelly rolls(depends on the mood)
Future Career: A baker, due to his love for doughnuts and other various pastries.
Quest: To meet Arnold Schwarzenegger and be declared his number one fan.
Turn on's: girl covered in powdered sugar, elevator music and Big Daddy cookies(the cookie that eats like a meal)
Turn off's: the nasty chick who lives on the 5th wheel, country music
Funny Story: In 7th grade english class we had to read a book and we took turns going around the room reading out loud. It was Chris' turn and the first thing that came out of his mouth was a squeak. The whole class had a good laugh, after everyone settled down Chris was to start again. On his second attempt he got one word in and then another squeak. The class laughed more, Chris was rather embarrassed. We figure it would've been a never ending cycle, but the teacher excused him from reading that day. Later when he was called on everyone just started laughing before he said anything so he was excused from reading out loud for the rest of the year. It was a win win situation. |
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Ahh yes Chris Day the 3 beer wonder. Why the 3 beer wonder you ask, well it's quite simple 3 beers is all it takes to get him to the party guys standard level of enjoyment. This loveable lightweight enjoys racquetball, and Simpson quips, although he is more commonly known for his Pelesque soccer abilities. This young prodigy travelled with the giants of the varsity squad as they fucked up their opponents...until they lost several games in a row, the seniors blamed Chris, we feel it was the media that was responsible for the downfall. Going back to his love of the Simpsons, Chris is the voice of the squeaky teenager that works everywhere on the show. Remarkably that is his real voice...he described it as a blessing and a curse. Chris is one of the nicer calmer guys that you will find anywhere, but this guy can turn into an absolute crazyman. Sleep is like a drug to him, when he wakes up he is a different person, he has been known to say things like "I was slipping." PETP(People for ethical treatment of plants) is actively searching for him, he is wanted for murder p, murder of a plant. He likes his cars fast and banks closed just like all squeaky teens. Chris is also one of the party guy members who has a girlfriend, her name is Katie, they are about to have their 50th anniversary we are planning a big party, shh...don't tell him. Our advise to you is if you see him, hug him, kiss him, then cover your ears cause his shrill voice could cause your head to explode. It happend to the troll kid, sure he survived but look at him now. I mean, shit. |
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