* * * * It was his third day in Pyongyang and Jack was getting tired of the waiting. One contact after another had told him the same thing. Yes, Bellamare was based here. Yes, Rakoczy was in the city. Yes, the next person they passed him along to would be able to answer his questions. Only the next person invariably had no answers - just more of the same banal reassurances and yet another contact for him to make.
Not only was he becoming tired of the waiting, he was growing weary of the weather as well. It wasn�t the first time he had wished that they could extend the lifespan of the capsule ensuring Sark�s fidelity. If the boy could have been trusted in the field this long, Jack would have cheerfully thrown him out into this rain and humidity while retreating to a cooler, drier surveillance post himself.
A dark figure separated itself from darker shadows and Jack stiffened at its approach. He began to mentally swear almost immediately. The inevitability of this encounter had always been in the back of his mind. He simply had not expected it to occur today.
�Hello, Jack,� Irina said evenly. �I see you�ve discovered that Sark can be quite cooperative when properly motivated.�
�He has his uses,� he agreed, matching her dispassionate tone.
�You were both observed in Cairo not long ago. He appears to be doing well.�
�Well enough, under the circumstances. Though he�s no fonder of that cell than I presume you were.�
She smiled faintly. �I suspect he enjoys it rather less. The climate is probably a little too extreme for his liking.�
�He did negotiate for a blanket much more quickly than you did,� he acceded. �You two had this planned from the beginning.�
�Would you believe me if I said no?� Her smile widened infinitesimally at his silence. �I came here for the same reason you did. I stayed because I knew that sooner or later this project would attract Sark�s attention and eventually one of you would come.�
�One of us?�
She tilted her head slightly and looked at him through narrowed eyes. �My sources have never been able to maintain surveillance on Sark in any single location for more than twenty hours. You have him tagged with some sort of time-sensitive device, I assume.�
�What is Project Bellamare?� he asked, ignoring her not-so-subtle probing just as she surely expected he would.
�It�s a biomedical engineering research program financed by a former Alliance splinter group. I could find no indication that this operation has ever considered the abduction or recruitment of foreign agents.�
�So we�re just wasting our time here.�
�I�m saving you time here. Sark was right to suspect this project, but I�ve already investigated it. We could be so much more effective if we didn�t duplicate our efforts.�
�Collaboration?�
�I�m not asking for state secrets, Jack.� There was a trace of exasperation in her voice. �I just want to find my daughter.�
�It�s touching how concerned you are about your offspring.�
There was a small pause as she looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. �I have always been concerned about� my offspring.�
�You have very interesting ways of showing it.�
�Your record as an exemplary parent isn�t exactly spotless.�
Jack bit down on his vindictive retort. This bickering never got them anywhere. He scowled at Irina as he reorganized his thoughts, knowing that she was doing the same behind calculating eyes.
�How do you propose orchestrating this collaboration?� he asked at last.
�While we may not have prearranged this particular encounter, there are certain names, certain pseudonyms and codes that Sark will be able to identify once I begin instituting them.�
�What makes you think that he would agree to be an intermediary in this? Considering the provocation you�ve given him so far, unless this whole affair really was planned in advance, it might be a bit presumptuous to assume that he�s willing to cooperate with you right now.�
�He has a very pragmatic view of this business,� she said. �He understands that sometimes these things are necessary.�
�Are you certain that he does?�
�He is a professional.�
�And if it isn�t a professional issue?� he pressed. �How can you be so sure he won�t take it personally?�
�I think I�m a fairly good judge of his temperament,� she said. A sharpness was beginning to creep into her voice. �I have known him for a very long time.�
�But how careful were you in all those years? Personally I�ve made certain that I have never lied to him.�
�How noble.�
�I�ve never sold him out.�
�If you�ll recall, I turned him over to the CIA to save your life, Jack.�
�Which I do appreciate, but I wouldn�t be so quick to assume that he�s of the same opinion. I�ve never shot him� No, I�m sorry. That was our daughter you shot, wasn�t it? I�ve never abandoned him then.�
�God, Jack!� She stared at him in dismay, dropping all pretense of ignorance. �Do you think I wanted to leave him in that orphanage? I would have left him with you if I could. If there had been just a few more months� But there was no time.�
�You stole my son,� Jack said harshly.
�Our son,� Irina stressed, �was taken from me just as much as he was taken from you.�
�But you got him back.�
�And now so have you.�
�Now he�s a sociopath. Thank you so much for that,� he snapped.
�What? You think he wasn�t damaged before I got him back myself?� she shot back. �They took him from me less than a month after he was born. When I found him again he was the hardest nine-year-old you�ve ever seen. I didn�t break him, Jack. I made him strong.�
�You made him a criminal. Our son is currently a prisoner of the United States government on charges of espionage, terrorism, and assassination.�
�And our daughter is currently missing without a trace. Could we save the recriminations for another time?�
* * * * �Is he angry?�
They had retreated from the rain into a small, unremarkable restaurant, the slightly more urbane environment dictating a more civilized tone to their conversation as well. They had hammered out a few more details concerning the logistics of their uneasy new partnership, but eventually the topic had turned once more to the boy.
�Angry at you?� Jack lifted one shoulder at her minimal nod. �Frankly, I don�t know. You�re the one topic he refuses to discuss. Professionally, it�s the one modicum of loyalty he appears to have ever shown anyone. Personally, he seems to have decided that it�s none of my business how he feels. I think that�s something to be dealt with between the two of you alone.�
�Somehow I doubt I�ll be getting an opportunity to do that any time soon.�
Jack snorted. �And I have no doubt that you�d find a way to do it if you really wanted to. That is the question though, isn�t it?� he asked. �You aren�t sure that you really want to know what he thinks, do you? That�s why you never told him before. That�s why you let me do it. You�re afraid of his reaction. You�re afraid that he won�t be quite as understanding as Sydney was.�
�Perhaps,� she admitted objectively. �Sydney was able to forgive me because she still remembers an idealized mother who loved her. Stephen�� she faltered a little at the name. �He has no such comforting memories to influence him. He is pragmatic though. He might understand that I did the best I could in an impossible situation. But�� she shrugged.
�But you don�t have any idea what he really thinks.�
�He always has been adept at concealing his true opinions.�
�Even from you? The expert judge of his temperament?�
She scowled momentarily at his sarcasm, then sighed. �Yes. Even from me. From the first day we brought him into the program he showed us only the face he thought we wanted to see. There were times as a child when he was still heartbreakingly easy to read, but with age and training, his natural skills have developed into very formidable defenses. Don�t delude yourself into believing that you�ve managed to get close to him within a year.� She gave him a melancholy smile. �Even after a dozen years, I couldn�t do it.�
�He said you were like a mother to him.�
�I wasn�t.� The remorse that flickered across her face so quickly looked almost genuine enough to believe. �You should have realized before now how unreliable his perception of something like that would be. There were a dozen other children in that program. I gave him as much attention as I dared, but I could never�� her voice trailed off.
�You could never let him think he was special.�
�No. But he was, Jack - the fastest, the brightest, the most ambitious. He earned his recognition, made sure we knew he was special. He demanded it.�
�You�re proud of him.�
�Of course I am. And you should be too. He�s every bit the agent Sydney is.�
�But not the person,� he said quietly. �Sydney has a conscience, a heart. She has ideals and compassion��
�She�s not perfect either. She has conspired to commit a murder. That isn�t exactly the choice of an unequivocally moral person. And you aren�t above it yourself, are you? Don�t try to hold him to a different standard, Jack. He�s no better and no worse than any other member of this family.� She looked at him with a sudden intensity. �Don�t give up on him yet. He�s only twenty-three. He�s not irredeemable� and maybe you can reach him after all - in a way that I never could.�
Jack was startled by the abrupt change in her manner. Irina was staring at him in an oddly appraising fashion and when she spoke again there was an unexpected softness in her voice.
�Maybe I never did have a chance of reaching him after he was taken from me,� she said. �The first thought that he has always connected with his mother is abandonment. Even when he had managed to half-convince himself that he wanted me to be a mother-figure to him, he couldn�t bring himself to let me get close enough for that sort of relationship to develop. Now he knows the truth - that I�m the one who abandoned him for half of his life and that I�ve lied to him the other half - I don�t expect that intimacy will be any more forthcoming than it was before.�
She paused, rubbing absently at a water-stain on her glass. Jack thought that she appeared to be trying to decide how to phrase her next comments. He couldn�t help wondering whether it was a ploy or if she truly was as troubled as she seemed to be.
�I don�t think that he ever had much of a concept of his father,� she continued slowly. �I don�t think that he�s ever held him - you - responsible for anything that has happened. To have all of this thrown at him now, while he�s in your custody� I�ve made sure that he never saw you as the enemy - the opposition, of course - but never an enemy. If you really have never lied to him, if you can keep any promise you make to him� His father might just be the only person in the world he could learn to trust. Don�t waste that opportunity.�
He stared at her in astonishment. She sounded so sincere, but he had been taken in before. What purpose would it serve, he wondered, if he believed that he could convince the boy to trust him? Was this just another ruse designed to achieve some as-yet unperceived objective? Did it seem plausible because he wanted to believe it? Did it even matter? He hated the way that he always felt the need to second-guess his own evaluation of any situation that involved Irina. He knew that he had already begun to think he was making progress with Sark. He didn�t want to have to re-examine everything he believed up to this point.
�I do want to see him again,� Irina said softly. �Regardless of how he feels about me, I am his mother and just once I�d like to stand in the same room with him when he knows that. I want to be able to look at him and see my son.�
Jack found himself nodding in agreement. He knew exactly the sentiment she was feeling. It was the one that had prompted him to take that incriminating sheet of paper and press it against the glass all those months ago. He realized now what he had intended with that action. It hadn�t been enough for him to see the boy and know who he was. He had wanted� he had needed the boy to look back at him with the same knowledge.
They stared at one another across the table.
�Someday,� he said. �Maybe someday.�
He was rewarded with a wry, weary smile that looked familiar for far too many reasons.
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