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spacer.gif (836 bytes)capo.gif (1476 bytes)ne thing that surprises me about modern-day BG fandom is the seemingly unquestioning enthusiasm about Richard Hatch’s BG novels, Armageddon and Warhawk (co-written with Christopher Golden). Aside from some reader comments on Amazon.com, you’re going to search long and hard for any criticism of these books. There are possibly three factors at work here; the long dearth of “pro” (as opposed to “fan”) BG novels, fan desire for a revival—any revival—and the inability of fans to separate their understandable liking for Richard Hatch from his books.
spacer.gif (836 bytes)Upon reading Armageddon, I was immediately reminded of a particularly bad SF movie roasted on Mystery Science Theater 3000 a few years back, an incredibly awful Donald Pleasance vehicle called Puma Man. The Puma Man, you see, is an unassuming doofus who, after a likable South American Indian priest throws him out of a window, finds out that he is in fact the “Puma Man,” possessor of assorted amazing and useful powers. In Armageddon, the unassuming Apollo finds out, after he discovers a holographic recording left by Adama, that he is in fact a direct descendant of the Lords of Kobol and is the possessor of assorted amazing and useful powers.
spacer.gif (836 bytes)You have to wonder if Richard realizes what a white male—almost Aryan—power fantasy he’s written (in fact, I wonder if Richard had anything to do with this book at all, which is why I’ll begin referring to “the author”). Apollo is the savior of the fleet not because of his leadership qualities or experience, but because he is, unbeknownst to everyone else, of pure Kobollian blood. According to the holo left by Adama, the fleet would perish if led by anyone else, so God help poor Tigh or anybody else who isn’t of that pure Kobollian blood (um, shouldn’t pretty much everyone in the fleet be of pure, Kobollian blood? Just asking....) or, needless to add, female, like Athena (Athena has exactly the same ancestry as Apollo! Why isn’t she as special? Wrong genitalia, perhaps.).
spacer.gif (836 bytes)Poor Athena! While Apollo spends the book goofing off, Athena is in command of the fleet. Of course as soon as Apollo returns from his peregrinations, he’s promptly thrust into command because of that whole pureblooded Kobollian business. Heil Apollo, I guess!
spacer.gif (836 bytes)Also bizarre is the way members are chosen for the Council of Twelve; not by election or some kind of selection process in their tribe, they're picked by the other Council Members! While I never assumed that Colonial society was particularly democratic, this kind of dictatorship is beyond the pale.
spacer.gif (836 bytes)One of the worst features of the novel is the way that, after 18 years, literally nothing about the character relationships has changed. Starbuck is still bouncing from Athena to Cassiopiea (with whom he has a daughter), Apollo is still vaguely involved with Sheba (they are planning to finally, after all these yahrens, get sealed at the end of the book), and so on. Also unsurprising is that the author romantically involves Apollo’s son Troy (Boxey) and Starbuck’s daughter Dalton (who is, by the way, a total jerk). What an astonishing piece of character development!
spacer.gif (836 bytes)It might be possible to overlook the Aryan inanity and the fossilized characterization if the author had gotten one, single detail from the series right. Admittedly there wasn’t a lot of evidence about Colonial history, but there was some, and the author doesn’t use any of it, preferring to create things as he goes along. Characters come from strange tribes (I always thought Boomer was Caprican, but evidently tribes are more segregated than the American south 40 years ago!), tribes have different physical characteristics (Scorpians are almost albinos, Gemons are tall and blonde and very nearly as Aryan as the f�hrer—I mean Apollo—himself), and one tribe even has (get this!) fur. This is attributed to divergent evolution, but I have to point out that the Colonials haven’t been on the Twelve Colonies long enough for anything of the sort to have happened. The author succeeds in mixing up centons and centares. He misspells “felgercarb” throughout the entire book—then spells it correctly in the glossary (!!). He invents new “colonialese” terms (“navi-hilt” for “control stick,” “ascensior tubes” for lifts or elevators, and on and on and on). He’s redesigned the uniform—it’s black and red now, not beige and brown (bridge officers are apparently still stuck in those blues). He has Starbuck dissect a Cylon and make Wonderful Discoveries. Amazing how the Colonials have fought the Cylons for a thousand years and Starbuck, of all people, is the first one to find out what makes those creatures tick.
spacer.gif (836 bytes)I could rant and rave for centares (hours), but this thing is really a mess. Like I said, so much so I wonder just who wrote it. But since Richard has his name on it he has to take some responsibility. Let’s hope if there’s a third installment he finds a new coauthor.

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