EXPLORING ACTIVITIES

 

To be happy, human beings need a purpose in life.  Some of us satisfy our needs through work and family, and although these are obviously important, it is healthy to have other interests, too.  Learning new skills, increasing your knowledge, and sharing enthusiasms are all great ways to feel young, meet new people (and ideas), and enjoy life.  They also renew optimism, without which we can become rudderless ships that have lost our purpose.

 

In this chapter, we invite you to think about the possibilities in your life for new (or renewed) interests and hobbies, education, work, and travel.

 

 

INTERESTS AND HOBBIES

 

“No man is really happy or safe without a hobby, and it makes precious little difference what the outside interest may be -- botany, beetles or butterflies, roses, tulips or irises; fishing, mountaineering or antiquities -- anything will do so long as he straddles a hobby and rides it hard.”

Sir William Osler

 

Children are always eager to try something new, but sometimes that eagerness fades with age.  We need to re-discover the child in us. That’s what keeps us alive, interesting, and young at heart.  It’s not important to be good at what you do, but just to do it.

 

My sister has recently taken up tennis at 67 years of age and enjoys every minute of it, while her husband, when he retired, joined a painting group.  He has discovered a hidden talent and has produced some very decent works of art.  My other sister does the most wonderful floral arrangements, Christmas wreaths and ornaments.

 

My eldest daughter is so excited just now.   She is not enjoying her present job, but it pays really well and she has to make a living.  However, she has started up a small business with her girlfriend, making wonderfully funky mirrors.  It gives me so much pleasure to see her face light up as she talks about her creations.

 

If you are not sure what activity or hobby to take up, just pick up a brochure from your community centre, school or college, or library.  If aerobics are not your thing, perhaps belly dancing is -- or a new language, or poetry, or chess, or theatre. The choices are amazing.  There are also wonderful courses given by alternate health facilities covering such fascinating topics as iridology, aromatherapy, and herbal healing to mention a few.  In fact, once you start you will discover that the problem isn’t in what to adopt but where you are going to find the time to do all that you want to do!

Recently, my husband cancelled his fitness-centre membership because of problems with the facility.   It is interesting to watch him not know what to do with himself.  For so many years it was part of his life, his personal outlet, his stress reducer -- time that was just for himself.  I know it won’t be long before he signs up at another club.

 

I once worked for a neurologist whose motto in life was “use it or lose it.”  He was well into his 40s, looked in his 30s and was an avid competitor in triathlons.  He would spend his free time training for these events, which not only kept his body in shape, but also his mind.  It wasn’t important for him to win, only to compete and, hopefully, finish the course.

 

So many of us are afraid to attempt anything new in case we are not good at it.  Our society teaches us to excel, which is really counterproductive.  The joy is in the doing.

 

Interests not only widen your understanding, but also give you the opportunity to meet interesting and talented people.   Before long you have developed a wonderful network of acquaintances that you can call on for almost any reason.   It certainly is a built-in communication centre when looking for a job.  Many people have found employment through such a network. Having an interest opens so many doors, but unless you get out there and do it, you will never realize the benefits.

 

Hobbies need time.  Many of us, at 50, feel that we hardly have time to manage our daily chores, let alone pursue interests or hobbies.  When we meet with friends, we always talk about how we would love to do this and that, but we can’t find the time. So we were surprised that, in our survey, many participants, despite the pressures of work and family, still found time to read, garden, exercise, sing and play music, photograph, dance, take courses, and volunteer.  An overwhelming number wanted to take computer courses and become computer literate. 

 

My 51-year-old sister-in-law, who is busy with a career and family, started gardening a few years ago. Her original flower beds have now blossomed into one of the most beautiful gardens, which flowers from March till November.  Her neighbours took down the fence separating their backyards to have a better view.  People living on the street stop to admire it, and even bring their guests to have a look.  What was her interest in the beginning,  became a hobby.  She does it and talks about it with such a passion and knowledge that it is infectious.  For her, gardening has become her physical, mental, and spiritual exercise.

 

Nature is a particularly powerful stimulant.  In the course of several months, right in front of your eyes, a tiny seed will turn into a giant sunflower, a spindly seedling into a bounty of juicy tomatoes. The continuing cycle of growth is comforting and calming.

 

There is also a great way of giving -- not money, but ourselves.  We can use the skills and  wisdom we have accumulated over the years by volunteering.  Donating your time can be a joy. For many, it is a chance to give something back to the community.  I asked a volunteer, cancer-society driver why he did it.  He said that for the first four years of his retirement he did nothing of importance.  One day when sitting in the barber-shop chair he saw a notice from the cancer society asking for volunteers.  That was eleven years ago.  He enjoys the time he spends with people even under difficult circumstances, the camaraderie with other drivers.  He hopes that someday if he ever needs it, someone will be there for him.  Hobbies bring new friendships, and open conversations. 

 

For the last twenty-five years, I felt too busy with the demands of daily life to even consider doing anything else.  It was by accident that I read an advertisement in a newspaper asking for people to volunteer for the Women Supporting Women program, which helped women in their own language.  The organization would train us to become facilitators. I called and was welcomed.  My experience with volunteers has completely changed my attitudes.  My original perception was that most volunteers were elderly ladies, bored at home, looking for an outlet in their lives.  I was wrong.  There were working women, young and old, women with small children, women struggling on their own, women with dramatically diverse cultures and backgrounds, who shared a desire to help others.  It was a wonderful experience, an awakening time.

 

Tips for developing interests and hobbies:

 

·        Decide what interests you, start with small steps, and keep an open mind;

·        Take a refresher course, or join a club;

·        Get educated about your interest;

·        Try different things until you find something that fits;

·        Enjoy what you choose, don’t make it a task;

·        Be patient, you don’t have to be perfect;

·        Volunteer.

 

The people who responded to our survey showed a variety of interests: bowling, golf, gardening; some took a more reflective approach: reading, crafts, photography, alternate health and nutrition, financial planning.  Also, people were generous with their time, and either volunteered in many diverse organizations, or wanted to volunteer.

 

EDUCATION

 

Learning is a lifelong process. This does not necessarily mean getting a degree, going to college or even high school.  It can be an environmental lecture, a discussion in your local library on an author’s work, a short course on computer basics, or a correspondence course on small business management.  There are weekend courses on jewelry making, or workshops on flower arranging.  You can polish old skills, such as piano playing, gourmet cooking, or painting.  Learn, keep active and reap the benefits.

 

Many of us at mid-life wonder if is it too late to go back to school? Does a university education guarantee new employment?  Is it worth the expense?  First of all, it is important not to confuse education with skills.  Education should never be looked at in terms of what it trains you to do, but rather on the benefits of learning.  Make no mistake, this can be translated into something concrete.  One of these benefits is that a university education does impress prospective employers, regardless of the field of study.  Whether the degree is in “soft” or “hard” sciences, individuals with university degrees, on the whole, have a better chance of getting that job than those without. An undergraduate degree in philosophy does not guarantee you a job but, then that was never the point.  Studies in this field are geared to teach an understanding of what the great thinkers of the world thought, their interpretation of life.  It may help give you important insights and a clearer direction of where you want to go.

 

Many people in the workplace have been extremely successful without university education.  Success, in this context, also is not confined to how much money you make, but also on how happy you are with your line of work.  The key is to be doing what brings you satisfaction and, with luck, enough compensation to meet your needs.

 

All my university education was done on a part-time basis.  I had this vague idea that one day my education would mesh with my career and I would find the perfect job where I could apply all the knowledge I accumulated and experience I obtained.  Although it is possible that a perfect job may never come, no-one can take away the knowledge I have learned or the experiences I have lived through.    

 

People who tend to perform best in later years are those with higher levels of education.  It is very encouraging that two million people aged 50 or over are now enrolled in formal education programs, and millions more take courses on a more informal basis. The number of institutions of higher education that are prepared to give adult students an opportunity to study is growing rapidly.  Universities offer continuing education classes in a wide range of topics.  Many schools also offer myriad special-interest courses to meet student demand.  Companies also offer different training courses.

 

Some adults are motivated to gain new skills, some to start new careers, some to do what has always been their dream or interest, some because of boredom, but most are eager and willing to get better educated in subjects where they have an interest. Education can give you the necessary knowledge to make life fuller and richer.

 

Although both of us obtained our formal university degrees some time ago, we are constantly taking courses to improve our skills and develop our interests.  One of the greatest experiences for us was teaching continuing education courses.  Our classes were composed of  adults of all ages, some taking the course to polish up old skills, some to acquire new ones, some to learn in order to help their children, some to study a subject that had always interested them but that they never had the time to take.

We realized that adults learn differently.  Adults bring their own wealth of experience to the class, they are motivated: they are not willing to just listen and take notes; they question; they want results; the classes are dynamic, and expectations are high.  Adult students are mature; they do not want to waste time.  They are a pleasure to teach.           

 

By far the greatest interest is in computer courses.  As one women described it: “I felt like a dinosaur. It really was a big concern that I was not computer literate, and I was scared that I couldn’t get it.  I am very happy now.”  Our survey showed that, at mid-life, people are interested in everything from accounting, crafts, and neuropathic medicine to defensive driving and karate.  Interestingly, cooking was at the bottom of the list. 

 

Computers and new communication technologies are seeping into more and more aspects of our lives, whether we want them or not.  The fears many have in not being able to understand even the basics, are understandable, but ungrounded.  Designers are constantly making computers friendlier to those who are helplessly uncomfortable with technology. 

 

Tips to computer literacy:

 

·        Often, the best way to start is by doing or learning something you need to know;

·        Start in a library or bookstore where you can play with a computer;

·        Take a course on basic computer skills (preferably free of charge);

·        Talk to your friends who use computers;

·        Try communicating by electronic mailing (e-mail).  It’s hard to resist afterwards. 

 

 

EMPLOYMENT

 

Do you ever try to figure out how you got to where you are today?  We, the authors, suspect that what you are doing to make a living at the moment never entered your mind  thirty years ago.   We think that the number of people who woke up one day and decided to follow their dream are few and far between. In fact, we would venture that few of us ever had a dream and clue to what we seriously wanted to do.  In most cases, life chooses for us.  An opportunity presents itself and we embrace it, or not.  Often the decision is based on necessity.  In other words, we need to eat, have a roof over our heads, and pay the bills.

 

Take a moment to remember your employment history.  The adventure may be depressing, but we truly believe you will be surprised at how satisfied you have actually been, the skills you learned, and the variety of  people you met, some becoming life-long friends.  In many cases, the unforeseen is a far better experience than that which we might have planned for.  Perhaps we dwell too much on what might have been rather than appreciating what we have achieved -- and the wisdom we have gained.


The majority of our respondents have been working most of their adult life.  They are uncertain about their job futures and are nervous about their lack of retirement security. There are good reasons for this uncertainty: workplaces are changing. Companies are “re-structuring,” employing fewer people.  Replacing traditional hierarchical divisions with horizontal structures that emphasize team work, shifting towards a more-customer-service orientation, and hiring “specialists” on a contractual basis to fulfill the organization’s needs.  Many individuals now have multi-career paths and know that constant education/retraining will be required to remain competitive. Work at home arrangements, job sharing, and contract work assignments have started to be implemented in large organizations.  Dramatic changes in technology are changing work roles significantly.  Many clerical jobs, mostly held by women, are threatened by technological advancements.  The days of learning a skill or trade and never opening another book are long gone.  Even the institutions designing the learning can hardly keep up with industry’s demands.  Employees, bosses, and freelancers today need to be constantly studying and improving their knowledge, or they become obsolete.  Education and life-long learning have never before been as important.

 

We have to take time to reflect on and look at a various options and the ways to use our talents to keep working.  Many people who have lost a well-paying professional job are doing consulting, which can pay much less but at least provides them with an opportunity to practice their hard-earned skills.  It is not easy to face, for the first time, the dilemma of what to do next, considering the unattractiveness of being perceived “old,” and facing younger, smarter, less-expensive competitors.  We have to become alert to the dangers of inflexibility, of resisting change to the way we are accustomed to doing things.  Accepting  the probability of working the same job for lower wages and assessing the effect on our health is daunting.  Depending how desperate we are, some people may decide to lower their expectations and accept unsatisfactory jobs, part-time jobs, jobs below their qualifications, jobs that pay less, temporary jobs, that jobs they don’t want or like.  Other  people are able to open consulting agencies, get their own small work contracts, feel independent, work with enthusiasm, and find a sense of  purpose.

 

At 50, it’s time to take a good look at what you are doing, where you are going, what you want in life.  Sometimes it takes something dramatic to make us stop and re-evaluate where we are heading.

 

I know from personal experience what holding down one demanding full-time job and three part-time jobs means.  Sometimes, I would be en route to one job and wonder if I was going to the right location on that particular night!   I was so busy trying to make a living that I had no time to stop and look at the educational degrees and certifications that I had struggled to achieve over fifteen years of part-time study -- to see how I could use them to my best advantage.  One summer’s day my rat race came to an end when I was diagnosed with cancer.  I had no warning, no gearing down time, no choice.  The engines ground to a halt.  All of a sudden, all the projects dependent on me were no longer important.  Gone were the days of agonizing whether I could take a vacation day in case the sky fell down while I was gone. Now I was looking at the sky and praying I would live to see many more.  Remember the old cliché: stop and smell the roses. Stand back and  see what you are doing with your life, re-evaluate and alter your lifestyle and plans to keep you on the track of where you think you want to go.  It is equally important to keep re-evaluating your direction.  Is your goal still valid?

 

Change doesn’t always have to be drastic and risky.

 

My daughter continues works at a full-time job, but she attends interior design classes in the evenings.  She also has a partnership with a friend and they make home-decorating crafts and refinish furniture in their spare time with a view to selling their products.  She may or may not be successful, but she is constantly re-evaluating where she wants to go in life.

 

When I hear people talking about only having fifteen years left to retirement, I cringe.  Apart from the obvious fact that there is no guarantee that some of us will live to retire, the attitude that life begins with retirement is such a waste.  These people are certainly not stopping to see where they are heading, or if they are, they either don’t like what they see or don’t have the courage to make changes.

 

Strategies for finding or creating work:

 

·        Use your talents

One of our friends recently lost a good-paying government job.  Rather than struggling to find a similar job, she decided she would like to start her own business and work at home.  She was talented in communication, and she wanted to use her skills doing that.  Her business idea was to organize meetings and conferences for different business people and organizations.  The beginning was slow, earnings were low and working hours were long.  A year later, she was very happy with the progress, the number of clients she had, and the freedom she had. Today, with a computer and electronic mail, it is getting easier and more acceptable to work from home or to run a home business. 

·        Upgrade your skills

Upgrading your skills is always recommended.  No matter what field of work, futher education and training gives you additional confidence and better chances of finding a new job.

 

·        Learn new skills

If you want to learn a new skill so that you can land a new job, before enrolling think first what you are good at (carpentry, music, communications, solving problems), what you would enjoy doing (sales, office work, real estate, art, advertising, computers, helping people) and where the most realistic possibilities are for you to find work.  A husband of my acquaintance took an early retirement at age 48.  With enthusiasm, but not much thought about prospects, he immediately enrolled in program for travel agents.  He liked to travel, and thought what a great way to earn money and have a few good trips.  He completed it, found a job in an agency, and, after a few months realized how tedious and difficult it was to make even a meagre earning for a demanding and full day’s work.  He quit, disappointed and not sure how to deal with his early retirement, which had once seemed attractive. 

 

·        Contract work

More and more companies want to contract out work.  It costs the company less in benefits, but it lets you earn more money.  It is good for people who want to have flexibility, and who prefer to manage their own  finances and savings (using various expenses for tax deductions).  It can be unnerving for those who are used to regular weekly or monthly paycheques, especially if the contract is only for a few months.  So, you must learn to weather the bad with the good times.  Because you  have to look for new contracts, the key to success is networking.

  

·        Tell everyone you are looking for work

Just as networking is important when you are entrepreneur or on a contract, so it is when you are looking for a job with a new employer.  The more people who know you are looking for job, what you did before, and what type of work you are looking for, the better your chances are that you will find a new employer.

 

·        Change attitude

Having a positive attitude is the first step towards finding a new job.  A person who starts by saying,  “I’ll never find the same job,” or “I’ll never get the same money,” has started with the wrong attitude.  Age may be a disadvantage, but your experience is an advantage.  Those with a positive attitude, who believe that “I’ve got a lot to offer,” are much more likely to be successful in getting a comparable or even a better paid job.

 

TRAVEL

 

Over 50 million North Americans make at least one trip a year, and people are travelling more now than ever before.  So, it was not surprising that our survey showed an overwhelming yes response to being interested in travelling.  Our responders made, on average, more than one trip a year, and said that they would love to travel more, to almost any place on earth, from national parks and capital cities, even to the Moon and Mars (if they were fit).

 

Travel doesn’t always mean long distances, exotic locales, or expensive accommodations.  People don’t always have the time or the money for those things.  At 50, we think of travel as a way to reduce stress, discover new things, and explore new places (and ideas).  We feel a need for a change of pace and space, the need for a quiet scene in which to think about our lives, our purpose, our priorities.  Enjoying a trip, no matter how short it is, and coming back relaxed, rejuvenated, and filled with new understandings or insights is wonderful therapy, and it can last for a long time.

 

 

SHORT-TERM, LOW-BUDGET TRIPS

 

Take a walk in a place you’ve never seen -- a neighborhood, a park, a trail.  Borrow or rent a bicycle to explore spaces you’ve always been curious to see. 

 

Or, take a train or a bus if you don’t have a car.  A great excuse is to attend a workshop or conference, and add an extra day for sightseeing. (You might rent a car for that day).  You might decide to attend an exhibition, a fall fair, a theatre or musical performance -- or to just relax at an out-of-the-way retreat.  Check out the local bed-and-breakfast accommodations or rent a cabin by a lake.  Take a couple of books you’ve been longing to read.  Link your trip to a hobby or activity you enjoy.  Design and plan your own escape -- or invite a friend to join you.

 

 

LONG JOURNEYS AND TOURS

 

At 50, we are primarily interested in sight-seeing, recreation, and entertainment, and much less in shopping.  Putting effort into designing your trip, whether short or long, is likely to bring a more satisfying and enjoyable experience.  Here are some suggestions, especially for those who would like to see new places, but have little experience in travelling abroad.

 

·        Where to go to?

Look first for destinations that fit the purpose of the trip and your interests.  Once you have narrowed the choices, you should start collecting information about that place or places.  You might start with friends, or a friend of a friend who has been to that place before.  The next stop can be a travel agency, preferably one that specializes in those parts of the world or the particular country you want to go to, because they can provide you with a  lot of detailed information.  Most specialized agencies have agents who have been to the country in question, who can tell you about it from their personal experience.  Very often, people working for the those agencies have been or have lived there, and are usually very proud to tell you about their homeland. They do not mind sharing and pointing out both the good and bad, and are usually honest in telling you the best season to go, what the weather is like, the best places to visit, where you should and shouldn’t go, what is historically and culturally important, because they want you to have a good time and get the best impression of their homeland.

 

Other valuable sources of information are books, magazines and newspapers articles, which appear almost weekly in the travel sections.  Of course, there is the mighty Internet.

 

Until recently, I was stubbornly oblivious to these new technologies, thinking wrongly, that I was too old to learn, that it was complicated, and that I would just be wasting my time.  What opened my mind was a discussion on television about travel, which included an expert believing strongly that CD ROMs will soon replace books.  As an example he showed a CD ROM called Wild Africa, which included a slide show, movie tours, parks, different camps, birds sanctuaries, and, in a reference section, information and pictures of accommodation, lodges, contacts, specific directions, good roads and bad roads, a detailed travel map, and much more. It was impressive.  You can get CD ROMs in libraries or view them in many new bookstores.  You can also borrow them and even copy the material of interest on to your home computer.  I am hooked! 

 

·        Tours

The majority of people at our age prefer charted waters.  These travellers tend to choose frequently visited, low-risk, familiar, popular destinations.  To visit these places, one needs little planning, because tours include flights, places to stay, buses to take you from place to place, and a guide to help you at your destination. It is definitely time saving and  convenient.  And with frequent and easy air transportation, global communications, new publications, better travel brochures, and good descriptions of  new tourist attractions, travel can only expand.  Nevertheless, even for those fully planned and structured trips, learning more about the place or places you will visit will make your trip far more rewarding.

 

·        Cost

The costs of either a personally designed trip or a prearranged trip, which usually include most of the expenses, vary depending on if it’s high or low season, the choice of accommodation, and the inclusion of meals and excursions.  For those who can afford some flexibility in scheduling the time of a trip, and for those willing to go on short notice, the price can be up to 50 percent lower than regular price, even during prime season and at the best hotels.  Avoiding school breaks and public holiday times, if you can, will also help you save money.

 

·        Season

Choosing the time of the year for different parts of the world can make a tremendous difference.  Friends once went to Colombia in July.  They experienced the terrible heat and learned a lesson.  Unless you plan a short shopping trip only, with a few nights of theatre, and plan to stay in your hotel a lot,  you should aim to go to a place during good-weather season, especially if this is your dream holiday. Most of us feel energized and happy when the days are bright, sunny, and mild, and when you can also enjoy strolling in the evening.  It is not by accident that when we describe our holidays we always emphasize how the weather was.  After all, you are spending your money to have the most enjoyable trip. Make the best of it!

 

·        Health care

At 50, we are more aware of the possibility of unexpected health problems and the possible need for last-minute cancellations.  Get advice from a reliable source, such as travel clinics, before leaving home, in order to stay healthy while abroad. Travel to most parts of North America and Europe (including Russia) and the Caribbean require fewer precautions than travel to Asia, Africa, or South America.  Information on and prudence about checking food and water can help you prevent unpleasant experiences.  You don’t want to spoil your long-awaited trip.  Insurance that covers either basic cancellation and health or other problems during the trip is extremely wise to purchase.  The small additional cost has proven to be of enormous value to many people that develop problems during a trip. If you get sick, you want to be able to come back as soon as possible, or not worry about the cost of treatment there, and get the best emergency treatment possible.  

 

Three years ago, our friends, a couple, planned a trip to Europe.  They managed to get  an excellent deal on flight tickets, car rental, and a place to stay, but ignored buying insurance.  Four days before their trip, walking down the street, her heel caught in a sewer grid, and the pavement and she broke her foot.  She ended up in a cast and crutches.  She tried to cancel the trip, but they told her it was too near the date of departure and she was not eligible for any refund.  That was a summer she ended up hopping in Europe.       

           

·        Local currency

For many destinations, travellers cheques and credit cards have replaced cash.  Despite the ease for exchange to local currency, it is very useful to acquire some local money prior to leaving, so that if you arrive at night or on a weekend, when banks are closed, you will have enough local money to buy a drink and a bit of food, and will not be immediately taken advantage off with a poor exchange rate.  It is good to be prepared, and smart to learn about the value and type of the local currency. 

 

·        Renting a car

Renting a car is quite easy in some countries, but not in all places. Many people realize, often at some later time during the trip, that they would really like to see more of that beautiful place or a part of the country, and they decide to rent a car. Driving around, seeing nature and stopping at the places of interest is very rewarding. It’s easy to prearrange a rental of a car before you leave.  It can be less stressful and less expensive than renting it in the foreign place.  Complications and unpleasant surprises can arise,  particularly if you do not speak the language.  Many places, including Europe, do not rent cars with automatic transmissions, and if they do they charge exorbitant rates.  Consequences of any misunderstanding in insurance policy, or the cost of rental, the inclusion of mileage, the gas, the days and hours of returns, other hidden rules of a policy  -- and the validity of your driver license, not to mention wasting time fixing the problems -- can spoil your otherwise beautiful trip.  Having booked it in advance, you have all the rules and requirements explained to you and understood, and if you experience trouble, you have a reference number to call.

 

Finally, consider taking a camera with you on your trip.  When you go sight-seeing try to photograph local people and nature, as well as monuments.  Impressions of a picture of a peasant in the field, women in the local costume, a field of olive trees, a castle in the woods, a flock of birds nesting on the tree, wild flowers beside a dirt road, and the children having fun, will relax you every time you go down memory lane.  Bon voyage!

 

 

 

MANAGING FINANCES

 

 

Many of us approaching 50 are very concerned about our financial security. Rather than sitting back and reaping the benefits of substantial years in the workplace, many people are facing the aftermath of down-sizing, or they are experiencing forced retirement, reduced income, or transfer to part-time employment, often with no benefits or pension plan.  With fewer years of earnable income left, it is even more important that you develop a family budget and make long-term plans for saving.  Money worries and lack of savings are among the most cited causes of concern for the future.  At 50, we might wish we had managed our money better, but, instead of crying over the spilled milk, you can try new ways to save and improve your financial situation for the future.

 

 

LEARNING ABOUT FINANCES

 

By the beginning of the 1990s, sixty percent of women were working outside the home.   Yet, despite successfully handling many challenging jobs, a large number of married women still leave the handling of the finances to their husbands, and know very little about stocks, bonds, T-bills, real-estate, interest rates, insurance, wills, or pension funds.

 

Until a few years ago, my husband took care of all the banking and investments.  Of course, we discussed or made a joint decision on major investments such as buying the house, but all the details of mortgages, loans, banking, and even credit cards were his domain, and I was happy to be spared the additional burden.  Four years ago, quite suddenly, my husband was transferred on assignment, to another city 3,000 miles away for an unspecified time, and I was left completely unprepared and uneducated to do all the finances.  However, I was willing to learn and was not afraid to ask bank personnel many stupid and embarrassing questions. That’s why I now get friendly greetings and special advice from several bank employees.  I have managed, in a relatively short time, to learn the basics,  and I continue to keep up.  I discovered, in the process, that although I was gainfully employed, I was not the principle cardholder on any of our credit cards, and only the co-signer on all our financial commitments. I have since applied for my own credit card, opened new accounts in another bank, bought saving bonds, bargained for higher
interest rates in term deposits and questioned other options for investments.

 

I can, however, fully understand how many married women feel uncomfortable in asking to start their own financial learning process, when their partners are dealing with the finances and paying the bills.  Although it took me a while, and I am still learning about mutual and equity-funds investments, I do cherish what I’ve learned and would never trade this experience. Now that my husband has returned, I continue to administer many of our accounts, use my own credit cards, and keep abreast on the status of our insurance and wills.  I have even dared to venture into investments in planning for the future.

 

No one should wait for their partner’s transfer, or for wake-up calls such as loss of earned income, death of a spouse, or unexpected divorce to start learning or planning their personal or family finances.  The learning process about financial security is not that difficult.  Most women are generally good managers, with lengthy experience in budgeting, comparison shopping and making the dollar stretch.  The first step is to gather information about long-term financial planning and investing, overcome unwarranted fears of not knowing enough or asking embarrassing questions, and stop believing that only people with loads of money need to deal with financial planning.  Banks and other financial institutions are now accustomed to women successfully managing finances, and are offering enticing seminars and literature geared towards women.

 

 

FINANCIAL PLANNING


Financial planning means budgeting every day, paying your bills on time, organizing your receipts, securing loans and mortgages, finding out what you owe, paying credit-card debts, reading educational brochures from financial institutions, or taking a free seminar on financial planning.

 

Since we all want financial security, and we want to continue with our present social activities, travelling, or taking on new challenges, our personal financial situation is the key to making it all happen.  One of the quickest ways to assess your financial position is by checking the state of your financial foundation, your investments, and your present net worth.

 

 

FOUNDATION

 

Financial security starts with building a solid foundation, on which you can then build upon with new securities and new investments without the likelihood of collapse.  The key

 

to a solid financial foundation is having life insurance, a will, a system of paying and eliminating debt, and some emergency fund.

 

 

Life insurance

 

We all expect to live long, but precautions are necessary.  Income, especially if the working spouse dies, can drop dramatically, and more women than men find themselves in financial trouble. Insurance can bridge the gap while the financial situation stabilizes.  There are various kinds of life insurance, but in general, they can be put into two types:

 

·        Term insurance is the simplest and cheapest kind.  It pays the policyholder a fixed amount upon death, within a set time frame.  Many companies or associations offer this kind of insurance to their members.

·        Cash-value insurance which combines insurance protection and a savings plan.

 

Most people opt for term insurance, because cash-value insurance is considerably more expensive.  The important point here is to have life insurance.

 

A lawyer was killed on his way to the office.  His wife had never taken an interest in the family finances, leaving it all to her husband.  You can imagine her shock when she discovered that although he had made his living advising clients and taking care of their finances, he had no life insurance, no will, a high mortgage, and high credit-card debt.    Not only was the poor woman left with no husband and three young children to support, but she was faced with a financial nightmare. 

 

 

Will

 

Everyone needs a will.  It provides order and guarantees the distribution of your assets according to your wishes.   Otherwise, after you die, the government will step in and write one for you.  Wills do not have to be complicated.  If you need help in writing a will, let a lawyer draw it up; it is well worth the expense.

 

We tend to dislike -- and often postpone writing -- a will, because it reminds us of our own mortality. But a will should be looked at as a gesture of love.  You are really doing it for someone you care about.  

 

We made our wills twenty years ago, and they are still good and valid.  Last year we prepared a list of our financial assets, including the place and the number of our safety deposit box, to avoid the bank’s and lawyer’s delays in releasing the funds to our designated beneficiaries.  In many households, the list is not long and will likely take less than hour to write,  and only minutes to update every few years.

 

You don’t want your children to start hunting for your hidden treasures; it may take them years, and lawyers’ fees may supersede the value of your treasures.

     

 

Debt control

 

We are living in an age of high technology, fast food, accessible travel, instant gratification, the seductive power of plastic credit cards, easy spending, and quick accumulation of debt.  Debt control protects you from being sucked into an abyss, by succumbing to easy buying using a myriad of available credit cards and the constant enticements to buy now and pay later.  Most credit-card interest rates are much greater than what you can make on any investment.  Therefore, before investing, secure your foundation by paying off all high-interest debts, or at least consolidate all high-interest debts into a loan that carries a  lower interest rate.  This debt can be controlled and paid off in a fixed time.  Sometimes, it is more prudent to cash in some investments to pay off debt, as the interest on that debt may far exceed the return on the investments. Some debts are unavoidable, such as a house mortgage (few people can buy a house outright).  However, since mortgages can have variable and unstable interest rates, it should be your goal to secure the best conditions of payment and the shortest time to pay off your mortgage.  Payments into retirement funds are always advisable, as you are investing in yourself.

 

 

Emergency fund

 

The ideal situation is to have enough money squirreled away for  rainy days.   The old rule of thumb suggested two month’s expenses tucked away as savings --  to protect you from cashing in long-term investments or fast-selling property when times get tough.  However, the reality is that only a few people have the luxury of such chunk of near-cash.  Most of us are living on the edge, from pay cheque to pay cheque, and when disaster strikes, the walls come tumbling down.  It is sound financial advice to make some provision for emergencies and, no matter how difficult a workable cushion should be created.

 

My mother lived and raised a family through some pretty tough times, including the Great Depression.  She had several tins on the shelf, each marked with its contents: life insurance, clothing, vacation, electricity, etc.  Although money was tight, there was always a tin marked “savings” and money was as faithfully dropped in there as it was to the more “necessary” tins. We were never wealthy but I didn’t know that then.  There was always enough for everything, thanks to her financial “tin” management.  

 

 

INVESTMENTS

 

At 50, most of us have made some investments purchasing a house (real estate), term deposits, retirement funds, mutual funds, stocks, bonds, gems, art, or other securities with low-or-high risk factors.  Today we are bombarded with messages such as: to improve your financial situation, you should look at various investment opportunities, make investment goals, chose investments that are right for you, and set realistic expectations.  Or, investment success starts with knowing yourself, your lifestyle, and the type of investor you are (looking for higher potential returns, but taking greater risks, or accepting lower returns for a more conservative investment).  Yes, you want to know that you’ll have enough regular income to live comfortably in the future and that the money you have saved over the years can be used to generate additional retirement income.  However, if your base is not solid, take measures to fix it before making “the investment that promises spectacular returns.” 

 

We have divide investments into three groups: secure investments, risk investments, and fun investments.

 

Secure investments

 

Secure investments are your pensions, home, and saving bonds.  These are investments that have guaranteed returns, that are secured and are very low risks.  Most of your savings should be in secure investments.  Your goal is to increase security, therefore you should never take money away from it. 

 

Pensions: Your pension is a very important part of retirement income and benefits.  Pension programs  vary from company to company (some are more generous than others), but for most people, in their 50s, the company’s pension plan is essential for you and your family.  Take time to learn about your (or your spouse’s) plan, what it offers, and how it applies to you.

 

Unfortunately, many small companies lack pension plans, and some large companies do not include part-time and contract employees in their pension plans.  However, if you work for a company that has no retirement plan or if you are self-employed, there is no reason for you to be without pension protection.  The Individual Retirement Account (IRA) in United States and the Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP) in Canada allow a certain percentage of income to be put aside as a tax-free investment.  You can take control of your plan and make it as profitable or secure as you chose.  Even if part of your income is covered by a pension plan, you can still invest in an IRA or RRSP, an affordable and effective way to keep you on the path towards future security. Only when you withdraw the funds do they become taxable.

 

Your Home: Your home is probably the biggest financial investment you’ll make and paying off the house gives you the first real sense of security.  Usually the house value moves up with inflation.  The faster the house is paid off, the faster security is gained and the options for new investing opportunities grow.  Since a house is most people’s safest investment, having a good house insurance policy is extremely important.  You should, particularly after 50, avoid re-mortgaging your house or using your home as collateral for new uncertain gains.

 

Unless you are desperate, do not borrow on your home, and especially not for any large unsecured investment.

 

Saving Bonds: These can be a great, no-risk initial investment.  As a way to raise money, the federal government, once a year, sells guaranteed saving bonds that usually carry higher interest rates than regular saving accounts.  These bonds have a maturity date, however, cashing them in before maturity leads to an interest penalty. Also, tax has to be paid on the interest, but this can be paid in different ways depending on the bond..      

 

 

Risk Investments

 

The risk investments, such as real-estate, mutual funds, stocks and bonds are types of investments that could have high or low returns. When risk investment becomes profitable you should put a portion of that money first into your secure investments and some, if desired, into your fun investments. 

 

Mutual Funds: When you buy a mutual fund, you are pooling your money together with that of many other like-minded investors.  There is a wide variety of mutual funds as well as a choice of companies from which to buy them.  Banks and other financial institutions have lots of free literature explaining mutual funds.  These funds are not guaranteed, and they vary from low to high risk, but as long-term investments they are quite popular.  Some mutual funds have indeed shown to give better interest rates than (GIC) term deposits or saving bonds.  If you want to diversify your investment, you should learn about different mutual funds, find out about their long-term record, and understand how investing works before making a choice.

 

A friend of ours, who knows how to budget and how to save, had become unhappy with the low interest rates on his savings and decided to buy some mutual funds.  He had a friend in the bank who suggested he buy some new funds, which did very well, and he made several thousand dollars by selling the funds after just six months.  He bought and sold several times and always made money on the transaction.  Feeling encouraged, he bought another new mutual fund, this time putting in more money, because the larger the investment, the larger the profit.  After a while the value of fund started declining.  When it declined almost 20 percent he became nervous, but because investment experts backed the new fund, he decided to invest more money into it.  Unfortunately, the price went down even further and he sold the funds incurring losses.  If he hadn’t made money on other funds his financial losses would have been considerable.  He is now much more careful when investing.    

 

Although  mutual funds should be not as volatile as individual shares, they can fluctuate considerably.  Most importantly they are not guaranteed.  Before buying, especially if you do not intend to make it as a long-term investment, be sure you can weather the fluctuations.

 

Real-estate:  The advantages in investing in real estate are that all expenses are tax deductible, and deductions for depreciation of a building can be applied to lower the tax on profit made from rental income.  Real estate, however, requires considerable capital, but it can be shared by several investors.  The location of real estate investments are important.  As many real estate agents will tell you, the most important three rules in purchasing property are location, location, and location.  The income from rent can be substantial.  There are, however, expenses for services, rental, improvements, and various administration fees.

 

For some people, the only way to become home owners is to be able to rent out an area of the house. The rent helps pay down the mortgage, and eventually you can have the whole house for yourself, or continue receiving extra income.  Duplexes or other properties with self-contained apartments are more convenient for owner-living and renting.  Rent can provide quite a stable income, and the value of the house usually goes up with inflation.  If the owner is handy, improvement costs can be reduced, making it an even more attractive solution.  

 

Stock and Bonds:  Investing in stocks and bonds can be risky.  Be sure that your foundation is safe before you venture into stocks.  Although you may have a broker to advise you, the final decision is yours.  It requires considerable available capital and the ability to leave that capital invested for a long time to show results. Generally, do not put money in any stock that you can’t afford to loose.  Think of it as a gamble.

 

FUN INvestments

 

Fun investments are for your enjoyment.  For those who want to buy into this type of investment (collectibles, arts, gems, gold, and silver), the pride of owning a good gem or enjoying a piece of fine art should overcome the anticipated profit.    

 

 

YOUR NET WORTH

 

Calculation of  your net worth is the best way to assess your current financial position. If you are in a long-term relationship, do it with your partner.  If suitable, involve the whole family. Your net worth is how much you own (total assets), minus how much you owe (total liabilities).   It is often a surprise to discover how little we really have to show after twenty-five years of work.  Many of us have only a vague idea of our net worth, and probably a rosier picture than the reality.  

 

Assets

 

Home (current market value)                                                                $__________

Cash value of life insurance                                                                 $__________

Saving and chequing bank accounts                                                           $__________

Investments (market value of stocks, bonds, mutual funds, etc.)                   $__________

Pension investments                                                                               $__________             

Other real estate                                                                           $__________

Personal property (art, antiques, collectibles, jewelry)                                    $__________

Automobile (market value)                                                              $__________

Other assets                                                                                         $__________

 

Total Assets                                                                           A            $__________

 

 

Liabilities

 

Mortgage (outstanding balance)                                                           $__________

Other loans (car, line of credit, investment loans)                           $__________

Bills due (taxes, medical, charge accounts)                                              $__________

Other debts                                                                                          $__________

 

Total Liabilities                                                                    B            $__________

 

Your Net Worth  (A - B)                                                                        $__________

 

If your net worth needs huge improvement, you may have to re-evaluate your present ways of spending money and make changes to your lifestyle in order to secure your financial future.    

 

 

GETTING OUT OF A FINANCIAL QUAGMIRE

 

I’m always short of money.  Even after twenty-five years of regular 9 to 5 work, and often with one or two additional jobs, we still have a hefty mortgage, credit-card debts, amalgamated personal loans, and monthly expenses that all add up to be greater than our joint income. I have always considered myself shrewd with money and budgeting, and I have no problems dealing with financial institutions, yet, our situation is not good.  Paying yourself first is easy to say if you have more money coming in than going out, but not when you are running a “rob Peter to pay Paul” life!  To avoid paying the government excessive taxes, because of my extra income, I have invested in high-risk mutual funds to reap the benefit of the added tax breaks.  However, these investments have had terrible return rates.  So, I really do feel between “a rock and a hard place.”  Approaching 50 does not leave much room for long-term investment plans.


Many people feel the same way and are quick to comment, “How can I invest when I have no money?”  Very few are willing to ask “How could I invest when I spend all the money?”  The only way getting out of a financial quagmire is to start spending less than you earn.  With a fixed monthly or yearly income, it is difficult to put aside any money, after paying the bills and additional expenses.  And, budgets rarely work for people: if they have money, they spend it.  However, for those who are truly willing to try to beat perpetual debt and sort out their finances, the first step is to replace the notion of spending with the notion of saving and investing.

 

To improve monthly savings, some people just need to curb their spending, others may need to make major efforts and change their lifestyle.  If you’re married and trying to improve your finances, both partners need to share in the effort and the savings should be put towards mutual benefits.     

   

A good place to start is to stop borrowing.  Don’t use personal loans or lines of credit.  Put away all your credit cards, every single one, for at least three months.  After three months destroy or cancel all but two -- and carry only one with you.  Don’t start using your credit card before you have paid all card debts and personal loans, and then use it only for an emergency.  Arrange bank deductions for regular monthly bills (utility, insurance, cable) and use only cheques or cash for paying other bills and for shopping.

Your rent (or home mortgage and taxes) and all payments on existing debt are fixed amounts.  But consider your other monthly expenses as well.  You can save a lot. 

 

Telephone:  Unless your work requires a cell phone, do without it.  Make long-distance calls sparingly and at times in a week when they are the least expensive.  Even better, buy a long-distance global card and limit your calls to one card a month.    

 

Food:  Cut down on dining out, ordering food, or eating lunches at fast-food restaurants.  By making bag-lunches for everyone, and preparing dinners at home, you will not only save lots of money, but also you will be eating healthier food (see chapter on Foods). Although we think we are quite familiar with our weekly grocery bill and shopping patterns, scrutinize your bill.  Stop buying frozen dinners, or half-prepared meals.  Concentrate on vegetables, fruits, fish, and poultry.  Do comparative shopping.  The price on some items of food can vary up to 200 percent. Make a list of the food needed for making lunches for work and dinners at home for a week, and buy just those items.  Make an effort to find and shop at the store with the most reasonable prices of your regular weekly shopping needs. 

    

Clothing:  Don’t buy any new clothing for three months.  Many of us have too much clothing and too many shoes in our closets  -- some that we bought and wore once, twice, or never.  Go through your wardrobe and set aside your clothes for work.  Change clothes when you come home, to minimize dry-cleaning (frequent dry-cleaning is expensive). You may need to convince yourself that your old dress, jacket, shoes, or sweater still have additional mileage, and that you do not always have to have “the best.” 

 

Transportation: Don’t use taxis except for an emergency. Use public transportation if possible.  Avoid paying big parking fees. Stop getting parking tickets.  Fix, maintain, and keep your car for as long as possible.  Postpone buying a car before you finished paying off all credit debts.  If in absolute need, consider buying a two-year-old car, because cars usually depreciate 30 percent in first year and 25 percent in second.  Shop around: private sales offer the best bargains.  Insurance is also lower on older cars.

 

Recreation/Travel:  Go to matinee movies, rather than evening show.  Have a cappuccino after, at the outside café, -- theatre-food is pricey.  Make a barbecue picnic at your home or in the near-by park.  Postpone expensive trips and opt for drive in the country.  For holidays, rent a cottage or an apartment, prepare your own food, and enjoy beauty of the nature.  Swim and fish in the lake, hike on the trails, and listen to sounds of nature, including quietness.

 

Others: Don’t buy lottery tickets.  (I have a friend whose husband buys $30 weekly, and they can’t afford it .)  If you “have to” buy, buy one ticket.   Instead of buying lottery tickets, for a month donate that money to a charity or a person in need.  It will make you feel good for a long time.

 

Decrease your purchases of cosmetics, cigarettes, and alcohol to half, and then keep trying to decrease those expenses.

 

Discuss expenses with your children, and have them understand and share commitments to sound money management.

 

Sort your bills:  Find one empty draw in your home and put all the bills there.  Keep an original envelope for each kind of bill, and put all additional monthly bills into the same envelope.  In that way, you can compare your telephone bill, hydro bill, or visa bill each month with the previous one and find out if you are making progress in saving. 

 

Pay your debts: At the end of the first month, find out how much you saved.  If you made an effort you will have saved something.  Let’s say you saved $200.  Take that $200 and add $200 dollars (this time you are taking your savings from the second month at the beginning of that month, committing yourself to do at least the same amount of saving as the first month) and repay any debt.  At the end of the second month, you may have saved $50 in addition to those $200 you took away.  Now, at the beginning of the third month, you will be able to put $300 dollars towards your debt payment.  Keep on with your savings and, sooner than you think, you will be able to get out of debt and start, with confidence, investing towards your retirement. 

 

Tips for financial stability

 

·        be familiar with your financial situation

·        have life insurance

·        make a will

·        learn to curb your credit-card use

·        avoid paying high-interest rates

·        control your debt

·        learn to save regularly

·        invest into your pension plan

·        learn about various investments

·        get involved in making decisions on investments

·        review your financial situation every year

·        get a professional opinion before making major investments

·        you do not have to be wealthy to start financial planning

·        do not fall for quick, high-return schemes

·        avoid taking big investment risks after 50.

 

 

 

SURVEYING THE PICTURE

 

 

So, you are turning 50!  Think back to your parents, when they were at the same half-century mark.  More often than not, the image is of people that were expected to slow down and enjoy becoming grandparents.  Now, it is more likely to see a woman juggling a career (or two), attending a continuing education course, entertaining and exercising a husband and children.  Fathers today are equally busy in their careers, perhaps in the early period of their second or third career, active in their health club or training for the triathlon. The sexual revolution of our era has certainly changed the way we deal with changes in our bodies and in our intimate relationships. We now openly discuss sex with the elderly; a generation ago, sex was scarcely acknowledged to exist.  Women’s gallop into the workforce, the demands for education and equality, and the civil-rights movement have all changed the faces of human relationships, forever.  Men no longer need to -- or are usually able to -- carry the burden of being the sole providers for their families.  They are becoming comfortable in showing their emotions and enjoying loving their partners and children with a freedom that was rarely allowed in male-dominated, authoritarian societies.

 

However, one modern lifestyle can be a double-edged sword.   To quote honorary-degree-recipient Paul Desmarais, business leader: “The cycles in our life are funny.  The other day I told John Rae how, during my youth in a cabin in Northern Ontario, I used to dream about being in a big office in Montreal.  Now that I am in a big office in Montreal,  I dream about how I can get back to my cabin in Northern Ontario.”

 

Living happily through 50 and beyond should not be complicated if you take it easy, trust your instincts and follow sensible directions.  The natural, loving care that we have and give to each other is a hundred times more valuable than staying captive to “expert” advice.  Trust yourself.  No one knows you better than yourself.  Listen to your intuition; it is seldom wrong.  What do you feel in the deepest parts of your soul?  Who you are and what you want can only be understood by you.  Believe in yourself.

 

We challenge you to survey, assess, and evaluate your life at 50.  We want you to reflect on your life, and if the questionnaire that follows this section will help you, please do fill in your answers.  Find out where you stand, where are you going, and what you want?

 

Enjoy life!  You are 50 only once.  Don’t be afraid to respond to your desires as long as they seem sensible -- as long as you don’t become captive to them.  Everyone wants to look and feel  young as long as possible, but at 50 we are learning to love and enjoy ourselves for what we are, what we look like, and what we do.  We have stopped worrying about the qualities we don’t have or about others’ foolish expectations. A strength appears in later life, a burst of energy, hope.  It is a great age.

 

This book could not be brought to a close without giving a voice to the people who participated in our survey.  After all, it’s for these people and all like them that this labour of love was coaxed into being.  Their feelings, and ultimately all our feelings, on approaching 50 were as varied as human personalities tend to be, but most did concede that although their bodies weren’t what they used to be, there was an excitement of having lived for half a century, and a looking forward to a calmer and wiser chapter.

 

Here are some succinct words from our fellow travellers on life’s road when turning 50.

 

We have now lived half a century.  It’s important not to be all-knowing, but listened to. It is a time of reckoning with oneself. In my twenties, I thought the world was mine - it was just waiting for me to decide what I wanted to do.

 

I honestly think our society puts too much stress on turning 30, 40, 50, 60 etc.  What’s the big deal? Life is life and it showers us with lots of good, and not so good, surprises anytime.

 

Fifty is just a number, when you are happily married and healthy and enjoy what you are doing both at home and at your job.

 

I don’t fear it at all.  I’m going to enjoy my life to the fullest because life is a gift.

 

Let’s face it, we only have one way to grow and that’s older, so smile, accept it, and move on.

 

Right now I’m tired, not as healthy as I need to be, not enough time, not enough money.  I would like less responsibility from my children as I’m scared my health won’t let me fulfill my kids future needs.

 

Taking care of ourselves is extremely important, and that the best way to achieve it is through rest, diet, exercise, work, play, and prayer, all in balance.

 

I am content more than I have ever been and I am happy. I have a very good son and have much to be grateful for; but I don’t care for aging in the physical sense.

 

Fifty is just a number. I would have thought to be better off financially at this stage of life and more fulfilled emotionally.  Overall, I am content with life, it’s all a state of mind.

Fifty is change with a big C.  Nothing seems to work the same as it used to. Even others seem to perceive me as “old” though I may still feel as young

as ever.  My neck is stiffer, I feel more sorry for myself and every new wrinkle seems to scream at me,  Old! Old!

 

Fifty isn’t a problem - just that you do reflect on your life which can be temporarily traumatic.  Then you get over it and move on to current issues.  It lasts only a few months, a normal rite of passage, I suspect, necessary but temporary; then you focus on the current situation and action required to get you where you want to go.

 

A time to start over, to re-evaluate your habits, get back to basics - enjoy life. 

 

A movie script once had a heroine say to her hero as they hung precariously from the battlements, while being chased by villains, “Jump! What’s the matter? Do you want to live for ever?”  The young think they are immortal, but the truth of the matter is that when we reach 50 we realize that life, as we know it, is not limitless.  However, we can prolong the inevitable by taking charge of our own health and aim towards an optimal quality of life in our later years.  To health!  To your well-being of body, spirit and mind!

 



QUESTIONNAIRE

 

Survey of people in mid-life (approximately 45-55 age group)

 

 

1.      Do you feel that the 50 milestone is going to, or has already affected your life and how?

 

2.      What are your fears at this age?  Please elaborate.

 

3.      What are your concerns?

 

4.      Do you presently work?

 

5.      How many years have you worked?

 

6.      Why do you work?

 

7.      Would you like to retire early (55-60 yrs) and why?

 

8.      What is your relationship with your children?

 

9.      Are your children still with you at home;  what are their ages?

 

10.  How would you like your relationship with your children to continue?

 

11.  What is your relationship with your parents/parents-in-law?

 

12.  How would you like your relationship with your parents/parents-in-law to continue?

 

13.  Have you planned for their caregiving?

 

14.  Do you have a close relationship with your relatives?  Please specify.

 

15.  How often do you see or talk to your relatives?

 

16.  How often do you see or talk to your friends?

 

17.  What do you talk about, and have these topics changed in recent years?

 

18.  How concerned are you about your diet and why?

 

19.  Have you changed your diet in recent years and why?

 

20.  Where do you get your information about diet/nutrition?

21.  Do you take over-the counter medications, if yes, why and which ones?

 

22.  How often do you go to the doctor?

 

23.  Do you suffer from any illness, if so what?

 

24.  What minor health problems do you have and how are you treating them?

 

25.  Have you increased your visits to the doctor in the past 2 years?

 

26.  Is pre/post menopause caused you problems?

 

27.  Are you on hormone replacement therapy, if not, do you intend to go and why?

 

28.  How satisfied are you with your sex life?

 

29.  Have your sexual desires decreased or increased and to what degree?

 

30.  Has your partner’s sexual desires changed?

 

31.  Do you exercise?  If yes, how much time/week, and what is your way of exercising?

 

32.  What would you consider sensible exercise for you?

 

33.  What hobbies and interests do you have?

 

34.  Have you volunteered in the past 2 years?  If yes, how often and for what cause?

 

35.  Would you like to volunteer more and where?

 

36.  Are you a member of any club, group, society etc?  Please be specific.

 

37.  How much time are you spending on your interests now:  would you like to do more?

 

38.  How do you keep mentally active, and how do you plan to continue keeping mentally active?

 

39.  In the last two years have you taken any classes/courses?  If so, what kind?

 

40.  Are there enough opportunities for you to take courses?

 

41.  What kind of courses would you be interested in taking?

 

42.  How important is your spiritual life?

 

43.  Does your financial situation cause you anxiety, if so in what way?

 

44.  Have you planned for your retirement and what are your goals?

 

45.  Are you interested in travelling?

 

46.  How many trips have you made in the past 2 years?

 

47.  Would you like to travel more, for how long and where?

 

48.  Are you looking forward to the changes the 50s might bring?

 

49.  What do you think these changes might be?

 

50.  What would make you happy?

 

51.  What are your short-term aims?

 

52.  What are your long-term aims?

 

53.  How important is to take care of yourself and why?

 

54.  What would you like to change about your life?

 

55.  In your own words, how would you sum up turning 50?

 


 

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