Drops of Red

Hate coursing 
Through my veins.
I feel stuck here, 
Barred by chains. 
Your evil words, 
And cruel looks. 
Why do I not 
�fit in� in your book?
Do you know, 
You only cause me pain. 
Because of you, 
My tears are like rain. 
You step over
My puddles of tears. 
And make my reality 
All of my biggest fears. 
Look at my wrists,
Proof of what you�ve done to me. 
Why do you advert your eyes, 
Pretend you don�t see? 
Why do you just turn around, 
And go on with your happy life?
Why do you ignore 
All of my struggle and my strife?
On my wrists are marks, 
Signs of my hacking. 
Dark circles under my eyes, 
Show my sleep is lacking. 
Your looks tell me, 
That I�m not a keeper. 
Your looks cut me, 
So much deeper.
And your looks aren�t like mine, 
Yours hurt worse. 
You treat me so bad, 
As if I am cursed.
I remember when you used to hold me, 
And kiss the top of my head. 
You even read my story's, 
When you tucked me into bed. 
Why did you 
take all of that away?
Do you think, maybe, 
We could do it again someday?
What am I thinking? 
Who am I kidding?
Everyone can see, 
Those shoes aren�t fitting.
Please just say sorry, 
You didn�t mean to do this. 
And my dimpled smiles
Really have been missed. 
But you wont, 
And it wont cut it. 
Sorry wont undo 
any of this shit. 
Sorry is just a word, 
There is nothing it can fix 
It doesn�t even know, 
About your evil tricks. 
I cant explain
All of my hate. 
I�ll cut off my arm 
At this rate. 
Isn�t it funny, 
All of my life?
And how much of it 
Is controlled by a knife?
One day you will come home, 
And see the drops of red. 
Not only that, 
But I will be dead

� deranged

Last revised: September 16, 2006