TREMERE: "Awright, Haqim! I have HAD it with you! You're gonna die!" 

HAQIM: "Says you. Phbbbt!" 

TREMERE: "Oh, yeah? Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames! I blow up Asia!" 

HAQIM: "Celerity 10. I dodge. I'm now standing in the middle of the ocean." 

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Neptune's Might. I boil the oceans." 

HAQIM: "Obfuscate 10. What ocean?" 

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Movement of the Mind. I hit the remaining ocean 
with the moon." 

LASOMBRA: "Tag in! Obtenebration 9. What moon?" 

TREMERE: "Auspex 10. *That* moon." 

LASOMBRA: "Tag out!" 

HAQIM: "Oh crap. Umm... Quietus 10." 

TREMERE: "Here comes the big ball of rock, baby!" 

[HAQIM is squished] 

BRUJAH: "Didn't Haqim just activate Quietus 10?" 

NOSFERATU: "And it was a surprisingly quiet squishing. Stupid discipline." 

TREMERE: "Lasombra..." 

LASOMBRA: "Tag, um, Tzimisce!" 

TZIMISCE: "Vicissitude 10. Try that moon trick now, spellboy." 

TREMERE: "Tag Ventrue!" 

VENTRUE: "Dominate 10. Who's your daddy?" 

TZIMISCE: "You're my daddy." 

LASOMBRA: "Tag in! Potence 10. Feel the pain!" 

VENTRUE: "Fortitude 10! What pain?" 

LASOMBRA: "Obtenebration 10! I hope you like small, dark, places." 

VENTRUE: "Fuck." 

[VENTRUE vanishes] 

LASOMBRA: "I have ALWAYS wanted to do that." 

TZIMISCE: "Vicissitude 10. Lasombra, you're now a small ball of cheese." 

SMALL BALL OF CHEESE: "WHY?" 

TZIMISCE: "Ventrue still calls the shots. Read Dominate 10." 

SMALL BALL OF CHEESE: "Damn, he's right." 

TZIMISCE: "Animalism 10. Horde of cheese-eating mice." 

SMALL BALL OF CHEESE: "Obtenebration 10. I am a shadow of a small ball of 
cheese." 

TZIMISCE: "Tag Tremere!" 

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames. Shadow of fondue, you mean." 

SMALL BALL OF CHEESE: *fwoosh* 

NOSFERATU: "Animalism 10. They're MY horde of mice." 

TZIMISCE: "Animalism 10. Mine." 

NOSFERATU: "Mine!" 

TZIMISCE: "Gimme!" 

BRUJAH: "Celerity 10 AND Potence 10. I crush Tzimisce and Nosferatu while 
they're still arguing about the mice." 

NOSFERATU: "Urk." [dies] 

TZIMISCE: "Urk." [reforms] "Love that Vicissitude 10." 

BRUJAH: "Oh, dearie." 

TZIMISCE: "Now the mice are MINE!" 

[MASKED AVENGER #1 appears from nowhere] 

MASKED AVENGER #1: "All of you shall die for consorting with our enemies! 
Or, in some cases, actually being our enemies." 

ENNOIA: "Who the heck are *you*?" 

MASKED AVENGER #1: "Oh, sorry. I'm early." 

[MASKED AVENGER #1 vanishes] 

TZIMISCE: "Not even the first Masked Avenger, whoever he was, can stop me!" 

ARIKEL: "Auspex 10. What *can* stop someone with Vicissitude 10? Oh, 
diablerie." 

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy something or other. I weaken Arikel a generation." 

ARIKEL: "You just made that up!" 

TREMERE: "Trust me, you'll like it." 

BRUJAH: "Potence 10. I expend a barrage of fisticuffs upon Tzimisce." 

TZIMISCE: "Vicissitude 10. I can ignore them." 

ENNOIA: "Animalism 10. My mice." 

TZIMISCE: "Mine!" 

TREMERE: "Quick, Arikel! Diablerize Tzimisce while he's distracted!" 

AUGUSTUS: "Necromancy 10, Bone Path! The dead have risen- and they're 
voting Republican!" 

TREMERE: "Don't you guys *ever* stop worrying about temporal power?" 

AUGUSTUS: "Umm. No." 

MALKAV: "Dementation 10! Everyone goes absolutely crazy!" 

[there is a pause] 

[the pause lengthens] 

BRUJAH: "You feel any different, Ennoia?" 

ENNOIA: "Nope. You?" 

BRUJAH: "Nope. Tremere?" 

TREMERE: "Nope." 

AUGUSTUS: "Me neither." 

BRUJAH: "Nobody asked you." 

MALKAV: "Well, THAT was a non-starter." 

TZIMISCE: "Well, I *gurgle*..." 

ARIKEL (dropping diablerized corpse of Tzimisce): "*I* sure feel different!" 

ENNOIA: "Well, that settles it. My mice." 

ARIKEL: "I now have Animalism 10. Mine!" 

MALKAV: "CATFIGHT!" 

BRUJAH: "Mousefight, actually." 

AUGUSTUS: "How droll." 

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Hands of Destruction. I kill the freakin' mice, 
already." 

ARIKEL: "Waaahhh!" 

AUGUSTUS: "Zombie mice!" 

ENNOIA: "Bastards." 

[MASKED AVENGERS #1, #2, and #3 appear] 

MASKED AVENGER #2: "Prepare to meet final death at the hands of the Masked 
Avengers!" 

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Especially you, Tremere!" 

MASKED AVENGER #2: "No, especially *you*, Augustus!" 

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Tremere!" 

MASKED AVENGER #2: "Augustus!" 

ENNOIA: "Who *are* you guys, anyway?" 

MASKED AVENGER #3: "It's a secret. That's why we're wearing masks." 

BRUJAH: "Speaking of which, why does your mask have three eyeholes?" 

MASKED AVENGER #3: "To be distinctive." 

BRUJAH: "Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of wearing a mask?" 

MASKED AVENGER #1: "You always were a smartass." 

BRUJAH: "Potence 10. I punch the first Masked Avenger." 

MASKED AVENGER #1: "Ow." [dies] 

MASKED AVENGER #2: "We other Masked Avengers are not so easily thwarted! 
We shall have our revenge! Especially on you, Augustus!" 

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Tremere!" 

MASKED AVENGER #2: "Augustus!" 

AUGUSTUS: "Can we get rid of these guys?" 

TREMERE: "Sure you take care of the guy with the three eyeholes in his 
mask, and I'll take the guy who says he's my archenemy." 

MASKED AVENGER #3: "I, with the three eyes, am your archenemy, Tremere." 

TREMERE: "Whatever." 

AUGUSTUS: "Potence 10. I crush the guy with the three eyes." 

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Fortitude 10. I soak." 

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames. I obliterate Masked Avenger #2." 

MASKED AVENGER #2: "Fortitude 10. I soak." 

BRUJAH: "Like the guest that won't leave, aren't they?" 

AUGUSTUS: "I can handle this. Necromancy 10, Ash Path. I summon the 
spirits of those who have died tragically." 

SPIRITS OF THOSE WHO HAVE DIED TRAGICALLY: "We are here." 

AUGUSTUS: "Explain your tragedies to the Masked Avengers." 

[The SPIRITS OF THOSE WHO HAVE DIED TRAGICALLY do so] 

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Oh, the Angst! I cannot *bear* it!" 

[MASKED AVENGER #3 commits suicide] 

MASKED AVENGER #2: "How fascinating. I wish to learn more." 

AUGUSTUS: "Spirits of those who have died tragically, return to the 
Shadowlands." 

[The SPIRITS OF THOSE WHO HAVE DIED TRAGICALLY do so] 

MASKED AVENGER #2: "I must follow them to learn more." 

[MASKED AVENGER #2 commits suicide] 

ARIKEL: "Well, *that* took forever. But now it's done. Now what?" 

TREMERE: "Auspex 10 and Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames. I incinerate Set 
in that corner he's been hiding." 

[SET turns to ashes] 

AUGUSTUS: "Letting everyone else do the fighting and taking out the 
winners? I am shocked, SHOCKED." 

BRUJAH: "Shocked that you didn't think of it first." 

AUGUSTUS: "And I *deeply* deplore that." 

[MASKED AVENGER #1 appears] 

MASKED AVENGER #1: "Prepare to meet final death at the hands of the Masked 
Avenger!" 

BRUJAH: "You ever have the feeling of deja vu?" 

MASKED AVENGER #1: "Constantly." 

ENNOIA: "Enough of this. Protean 10. Welcome to the sun, boys!" 

TREMERE: "Hah! Thaumaturgy 10, Invulnerable Weakness!" 

[MASKED AVENGER #1 goes *fwoosh*] 

[BRUJAH goes *fwoosh*] 

[MALKAV goes *fwoosh*] 

[ARIKEL goes *fwoosh*] 

AUGUSTUS: "Hah! You've played perfectly into my master plan! No, wait." 

[AUGUSTUS goes *fwoosh*] 

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Neptune's Might. I extinguish Ennoia." 

[ENNOIA goes *fwoosh*] 

TREMERE: "Woo hoo, I won!" 

RAVNOS: "Forgot me." 

TREMERE: "You? Where the heck have you been?" 

RAVNOS: "Keeping a low profile." 

TREMERE: "And you didn't burn up in the sun?" 

RAVNOS: "Fortitude 10, baby. And I'll thank you not to kill off my mice." 

TREMERE: "PREPARE TO DIE!" 

RAVNOS: "Not so fast! Chimeristry 10!" 

TREMERE: "Chimeristry 10? You mean..." 

RAVNOS: "Yup. ''Reality.'' I'll turn us all into a roleplaying game." 

TREMERE: "You wouldn't!" 

RAVNOS: "I just did." 

TREMERE: "NOOOOOOOO!!!" 

[RAVNOS, TREMERE, and the corpses of the other antediluvians are replaced 
by a series of hardback and paperback game supplements]