Once upon a time...
In a land known simply as K-town, there existed fierce warriors. These warriors lived contently in their homes, with peace of mind, knowing that they were the rulers of the land. There were two clans of warriors... On the East side of K-town, there lived the handsome Dukes, who protected the villagers from the evil "Townies" and "Skids". On the West side of K-town dwelled the deformed Brockmeisters, who spent their waking hours roaming the land in search for more happy sauce to drown away their sorrows. Years went by, without either clan aware of the existence of their cross-town rivals. However, one cold day, the Dukes ventured out from their castle to maintain peace in the village when they happened to see the Brockmeister clan. Upon first glance, the Dukes didn't know what to think about the hideously deformed creatures that stumbled awkwardly through their streets.
"Looks like trouble," proclaimed Duke Keck.
"Aye it does. Let us investigate," declared Duke Jones.
The Dukes then approached the Brockmeister clan and asked them, "We recognize you as neither Townie nor Skid nor Villager... what do you declare yourselves to be?"
"Why, we are man, like you. However, we rule this town... this K-town," replied Brockmeister Clow.
"Nay, you cannot be man... for you are much too hideously deformed," said Duke Heisz.
"I'll field that one," interjected Brockmeister Clarke. "True, we are not pretty to look at, but we possess many, many skills."
"Such as..." said Duke Keck.
"Well, for one, we are quite adept at the sports," said Brockmeister Ferguson.
"Yes, and we are capable of devouring large quantities of food," said Brockmeister Clow.
"Not to mention our embibing abilities," said Brockmeister Taylor.
"We acknowledge that it might be possible for your clan to have some skills in these areas, despite your numerous deformations. However, we are quite sure, that in comparison to ours, your skills are minimal to say the least," stated Duke Jones.
And it was then decreed by the two parties that inter-clan battles in each of the competitive domains should take place, so that only the one true clan would rule the K-town. The losers of the battles were to flee the land, never to return...