Mrs. Green: Rachel, you must get a nanny. You don't know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean, when you were a baby, I had full-time help. I had Mrs. Kaye.
Rachel: Mrs. Kaye! Oh, she was sweet. She taught me spanish. I actually think I remember some of it. "Tu madre es loca."
Mrs. Green: Such a sweet woman.

Katherine: It's a diaper genie.
Rachel: Oh, it dispenses clean diapers!
Katherine: No, it's where you put the dirty ones!
Rachel: Well, that's gross. Why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Mrs. Green: Well, are you going to do that ten times a day?
Rachel: It goes ten times a day? What are we feeding this baby, Indian food?

Joey: Whoa, what's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance; you go past the Mud Hut; through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail, and BOOM you're in paradise pond!
Ray: Yeah, all that's gone. Um, it's basically just a simple question and answer game now.
Joey: Well, what's fun about that? You expect me to be a host of a boring game that's just people standing around answering questions?
Ray: Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores.
Joey: Let's play Bamboozled!