Joey: You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid.
Ross: Just then, or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?

Joey: In my spare time, I read to the blind. And I'm also a mento, for kids.
Interviewer: A Mento?
Joey: You know, a mento. A role-model.
Interviewer: A Mento. Like the candy?
Joey: As a matter of fact, I do.

Interviewer: Other than Days of Our Lives, what is your favorite soap opera?
Joey: Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, you know?
Interviewer (stunned): Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest will be happy to learn that.

Ross: Wow, this picture of you sure is steamy.
Joey: Ah, yeah, that's just something for my huge, gay fan-base.
Ross: Did you just wink at me?
Joey: Hey, you're the one who loves the picture.