Chandler: I'm not really in a sexy mood right now.
Monica: Hey, what's going on?
Chandler: Well, remember the first time you saw Jaws, how long it took to go back in the water?

Ross: Why don't you open the champagne, and I will be right back. I've got a surprise for you!
Mona: You've got another ex-wife back there?
Ross: Please start drinking.

Mona: Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment, and we've got to have some boundaries. So why don't you go back to your place, and... and give us some privacy.
Rachel: But Mona, I live here.
Ross (with gift): Happy Valentine's Day! Or something to remember me by.

Chandler: It haunts me! Up 'til now, the worst thing I ever saw was my father doing tequila shots of the naked house-boy. After this, I would gladly make that my screen saver.