Mr. Franklin: I've got a stack of documents on my desk this high.
Chandler: You know what you should do? Just toss them in the shredder and claim you never got them.
Mr. Franklin: That's a good one, Bing.
Chandler: What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously around here?

Monica: He is totally incompetent, okay? I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha ha! Gotcha!"

Rachel: Hey, what do you think is the better excuse for why I'm not drinking on this date tonight? Um, I'm a recovering alcoholic; I'm a Mormon; or, I got so hammered last night, I'm still a little drunk.

Ross: How was the date?
Rachel: Well, I'm alone, and I just bought 15 dollars worth of candy bars. What do you think?

Rachel: I think I'm going to go home and eat ten candy bars.
Ross: Hey, I thought I cheered you up.
Rachel: Oh, you did. There are 20 in here.

Ross: Well, uh, would you be interested in seeing a Ukrainian film?
Mona: Ha, ha, ha! Oh, you're serious. Sure!