Megan: So, uh, who's your photographer?
Monica: Jeffery.
Megan: We met with him. Did he show you the photos of the nude wedding he did?
Monica: The best man? Wow!
Megan: I know! I almost called off my wedding.

Joey: I'm Joey.
Kristen: Kristen.
Joey: Oh, wow, what a beautiful name! What is it again?

Ross: We're going out again Saturday. But I just found she's also seeing some other guy.
Chandler: Really? Joe? What would you do if you were in Ross's situation?
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean, yeah, I'm dating this girl who's also seeing another guy. But I don't know, I'm not too worried about it.
Ross: Well, you shouldn't be. Believe me, I wouldn't want to be the guy who's up against you. I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Chandler: So, this is nice. I wish I didn't have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. Oh, uh, by the way, what's the name the girl you're dating?
Joey and Ross: Kristen Lang.
Chandler: Bye!
Ross: Well, obviously only one of us can keep dating her.
Joey: Obviously. So, how do we decide?
Ross: Well now, let's look at this objectively. I think I should date her.
Joey: Uh huh. Uh huh. Or... or I'm the one who dates her.
Ross: That's interesting, but check this out. I date her.
Joey: Yeah, yeah I like that, but just to go in another direction...
Ross: Okay, okay. This can go on for a while.
Joey: Yeah, well, we should order some food then. Ross: No Joey! Look, why don�t... why don't we just let her decide? Okay? Hey, hey, we'll each go out with her one more time. And we'll see who she likes best.
Joey: That sounds fair.
Ross: Maybe I'll take her to that new French restaurant down the street.
Joey: Uh, yeah, wait a second now! Look, we're gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I don't have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Ross: Well, sorry, that's what I do on dates.
Joey: All right, well I guess I'll just have to do what I do on dates.
Ross: So let's decide on the spending limit.
Joey: Yeah. Uh... a slice.... Six dollars?
Ross: I was thinking more like a hundred.
Joey: Okay. Can I borrow 94 dollars?

Kristen: Is your back feeling better?
Ross: Oh, yeah, it's fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasm out of control.

Kristen: Well, uh, Ross, This is Joey. Joey, Ross.
Joey: Hi!
Ross: Hi. It's nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I don't anymore.
Ross: So, Joey, um, you look familiar. Are, uh, are you on TV or something?
Kristen: Well, Joey doesn't like to talk about it but, he's one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
Ross: That's right! That's right. Don't you play a woman?
Joey: A woman in a man's body.
Ross: Much better.
Joey: You know, Ross, it's funny, because you look familiar to me, too. Have you ever been married?
Ross: Well, yes, yes I have. In fact, um, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how I've been married and how I have a son.
Kristen: Yeah, little Eric.
Ross: That's right. Wait, no, Ben.
Joey: So you've just been married the one time then?
Ross: Well um...
Kristen: You've been married twice?
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy I'm getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when the girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake!
Joey: Yeah. So, uh, Ross, now why did that first marriage break up? Was it because the woman was straight or because she was a lesbian?
Kristen: Do you two know each other?
Joey and Ross: No.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Ross: Wait a minute! Were you on a poster for gonorrhea?
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed with a monkey?
Ross: Hey, you leave Marcel out of this!
Joey: Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?
Ross: Hey, hey, have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet, V.D. boy?
Joey: Monkey lover!
Joey: When do you think we lost her?
Ross: Probably around gonorrhea.

Chandler: Hi, honey! I'm home!
Monica: Don't come in here!
Chandler: Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something?
Monica: No! We only mess around at his place!
Chandler: You know, it's funny. I started it, but now it's scaring me. So could you come out here please?