Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? I've dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?

Ross: I just found out that Elizabeth's dad wants to meet me.
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! You're not Elizabeth's dad?

Monica (to Paul): You know, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, 'cause usually he's at the children's hospital.
Phoebe: Yeah. Not looking for dates.

Estelle: Joe! I'm glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Joey: Wow!
Estelle: The thing is it's kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesn't know he might be fired. It's the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Joey: I'm the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!
Estelle: Uh-oh!

Rachel: Well, you know, he lost his keys so he was looking for them...
Ross: In your mouth?

Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly offered to take me.
Elizabeth: What a nice story!
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Rachel: Wow! I definitely did not see that one backfiring! I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Wayne: Joey, Joey, I... I'll get you your job back if you help me out.
Joey: Why should I help you?
Chandler: The reason he just said.
Joey: What do you need?
Wayne: I... I... I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman, you know, Sarah?
Joey: Yeah?
Wayne: I wish I could talk to her.
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Wayne: Yeah. Her. All of them. Anyone.
Chandler: Yeah, I've been there my friend.

Paul: Then we agree?
Ross: Uh, yeah, I guess. Yeah! I guess so.
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Elizabeth: I like Ross.
Ross: Oh! Kids!
Rachel: Wait, wait, wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Ross: That's okay Rach, we're not liking Ross right now.
Rachel: Oh! I've got a lot of those too!