Ross: Hey! I just got my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote: "I loved Dr. Geller's class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department."
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, there's a big selling calendar, eh?
Rachel: Who wrote it?
Ross: Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
Joey: Oh hey, do you still have their final exams?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Oh, because you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same hand-writing and boom, there's your admirer.
Chandler: A hot girl's at stake and all of the sudden he's Rain Man.

Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when you're 90...
Ross: I know, when I'm 90 she'll be like 80 and it won't seem like such a big difference.
Joey: No, that's not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when you're 90 you'll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.

Joey: Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday, okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday! Can you remember Thursday?
Chandler: Yeah. So Tuesday?
Joey: Thursday! Look, if you need help remembering, just think of it like this: The third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?

Phoebe: Oh, it's bad. It's really bad. The only thing in there that isn't burned is an ax. Which I do not remember buying!

Monica: All right, well, why don't I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey.

Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Ross: What? Of course I did! You, uh... you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
Elizabeth: Who?
Ross: Oh, uh, I had trouble remembering everyone's name, so I... I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly Von Brownshirt.

Ross:It is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey Von Holier-than-thou.
Monica: Well, Ross, you be careful now. You don't want to get a reputation as, you know, Professor McNails-his-students.