Ross: Hey, remember when I had a monkey?
Chandler: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah. What... what was I thinking?

Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming. That's not enough. Look, I studied karate for a long time, and there's a concept you should really be familiar with. It's what the Japanese call Unagi.
Rachel: Isn't that a kind of sushi?

Joey: Well, how about this one: Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists?
Receptionist: We already go the results back on that one, and they're not good.

Ross: You know what? She'd love this. Uh, it's an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that "your love sends me to the moon."
Ross: Yeah, yeah, except Apollo 8 didn't actually land on the moon. But you... you could write that, umm, "your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely."

Ross: I tried attacking two women. It did not work.
The Instructor: What?
Ross: No, I mean... it's okay, I mean, they're... they're my friends. In fact, I, I, I was married to one of them.
The Instructor: Let me get this straight, man. You attacked your ex-wife?
Ross: Oh, no! No, no! No, I tried. But I couldn't. That's why I'm here. Maybe we could attack them together?