Nurse: And now, which of you is the father?
Phoebe: Um, no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Nurse: Okay...
Rachel: I am so gonna miss watching you freak people out like that!

Joey: Oh, something hurts!
Phoebe: Oo, it's sympathy pains. Oh, that's so sweet!
Joey: Yeah? I didn't know I cared that much.

Rachel: Monica? You're gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses.
Joey: Oh my!
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Joey: Not in my head.

Frank: What's with him?
Phoebe: Um,, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.

Phoebe: Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown-up doctor.
Dr. Oberman: Oh no, I'm fully qualified to...
Phoebe: Shh! Doogie, shh! Doesn't anybody understand that I'm going to be having babies soon? Huh? Go! Go little boy, go!
Frank Jr: Oh cool! You made him cry!

Frank Jr: Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon. You couldn't just, like, do me a favor and, like... like, hold them in?
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.

Frank: Chandler's a girl!
Chandler: Oh God, kindergarten flashback.

Rachel: So does it really hurt as bad as they say?
Phoebe: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.

Chandler: So, uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler: That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?
Phoebe: Works on you.