Judy Geller: This is worse than when he married the lesbian.

Joey: Well, that went well. Yeah.
Chandler: It could've been worse. He could've shot her.

Joey: Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake, right?

Phoebe: Uh, hello, this is Ross Geller's personal physician, Dr. Phalange.
Mrs. Waltham: Who?
Phoebe: Yeah, I've discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine. Uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh, women's names are interchangeable, through no fault of his own.
Mrs. Waltham: Oh my God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Phalange. Oh no! You have it too!

Phoebe: [Facing Joey] You ate meat! [Facing Chandler and Monica] You had sex!
Chandler: No we didn't!
Phoebe: I know you didn't. I was talking about Monica.

Joey: All right, I'm gonna go say "hi" to the chick and the duck.
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Joey: Why would you need to say "hi" to them? You've been feeding them for four days!
Phoebe: Oh... right. Maybe I'll just go home.

Chandler: I'm still on London time, does that count?
Monica: Oh, that counts!

Rachel: No, you're not an idiot, Ross. You're a guy very much in love.
Ross: Same difference.