Phoebe: You guys, you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldn't be living in an apartment.
Rachel: Yeah, especially not with all of these knives and cookbooks around.

Joey: She's mad because I know today's her laundry day and that means she's wearing her old lady underpants.

Monica: I just can't believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Chandler: Well, we... we do. You can only eat Tic Tacs in even numbers.
Joey: Yeah, what's that about?
Chandler: And you... Ross, I believe if you check Rachel's bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Ross: You're good. These are not.

Dr. Zane: Okay, it'll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
Phoebe: Embryos? As in, "more than one?"
Dr. Zane: Um-hm. Five actually.
Phoebe: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, in a hospital or a big box under the stairs?

Phoebe: So, well okay, so is... maybe there's something that I can do, y'know, just to, like, help make sure I get pregnant?
Dr. Zane: No, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Wow! You guys really don't know anything!
Frank Jr: I know! Why don't you get drunk! That worked for a bunch of girls in my high school.

Ross: What is Monica's biggest pet peeve?
Joey: Animals dressed as humans.
Ross: That's correct.

Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Monica: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!
Ross: That is correct.

Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died. You both went to her funeral. Name that grandmother!
Joey (to Chandler): Nana?
Chandler: She has a real name.
Joey: Althea!
Chandler: Althea? What are you doing?
Joey: I took a shot.
Chandler: You're shooting with Althea?
Ross: "Althea" is correct.
Chandler: Nice shooting!

Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joey's apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Rachel: Oh! Chandler gets it! It's Chandler Bing!
Monica: No!
Ross: I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to "Chanandelor Bong."
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use your head!
Chandler: Actually, it's Miss Chanandelor Bong.

Ross: What is the name of Chandler's father's Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Monica: Viva Las Gaygas!
Chandler: Unfortunately that is correct.

Monica: You guys are dead. I am so good at lighting rounds.
Chandler: I majored in lightning rounds, all right? We're gonna destroy you.
Monica: Uh, wanna bet?
Chandler: Well, I'm so confused as to what we've been doing so far.

Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I don't know about this.
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand.
Rachel: Why? Do you have the answers written on there?

Ross: What was Monica's nickname when she was a field-hockey goalie?
Joey: Big fat goalie!
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie.
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is?
Joey: Weekend at Bernie's.
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers an answer in Ross's ear.)
Ross: Ew! No! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Joey: Everyday use.
Chandler: Fancy.
Joey: Guest.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: Two seconds...
Joey: Uh, eleven!
Ross: 11. Unbelievable. 11 is correct.

Ross: What is Joey's favorite food?
Monica: Sandwiches!
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast?
Rachel: 14!
Ross: No, 19.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Monica: Maurice.
Ross: Correct. His profession was?
Rachel: Oh! Space-cowboy!
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing's job?
Rachel: Oh! Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers.
Monica: And processing!
Rachel: Oh, well... and he carries a briefcase!
Ross: Ten seconds. You need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It's, um, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, he's a transpons... transponster!
Monica: That's not even a word!

Joey: I call Monica's room!
Chandler: You can't just call Monica's room.
Joey: Sure I can. Standard shotgun rules: I'm in sight of the room and I call it.
Chandler: Damn!

Phoebe: Well, the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my body's always been a little faster than Western medicine.

Monica: All right, look. I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel any better, it's all your fault.
Rachel: What?
Monica: Chanandelor Bong? Come on! We steal that TV Guide every week!
Chandler: I knew it!

Phoebe (singing): Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will... buy you some Adidas."

Frank Jr: Um, it's a lollipop and a, uh, a home pregnancy test.
Monica: Hey, don't mix those up. You could really ruin that lollipop.

Frank Jr: My sister's gonna have my baby!

Monica: I can't find garbage bags.
Rachel: Oh, I think I saw some in here.
[Rachel opens a drawer; they both scream hysterically]
Monica: What is it?
Rachel: I don't know! Maybe if we keep that drawer shut, it'll die.
Monica: I can't believe we're living here!

[Joey screams hysterically]
Chandler: What? What... what is it?
Joey: Did you see the size of the closets?
Chandler: I can't believe we live here!