Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back, like, two hours ago.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, he clicked on. He said call him as soon as you get a chance. He's at Flimby's.
Rachel: What's Flimby's?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, that's the word I use when I can't remember the real thing.

Ross: I, uh, I also need two.
Monica: Really? Who's number two?
Chandler: Whose number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.

Joey: Oh, hey! You guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate!
All: Oh!
Joey: And I, uh, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? It's never gonna happen. She's seeing somebody.
Chandler: Yeah, and I don't have any cologne.
Joey: The green bottle next to the shaving cream.
Chandler: Oh--worm medicine for the duck.

Chandler: Hey, can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre?
Monica: Of course not.
Phoebe: No.
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.

Joey: So, so... what'd you think?
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Joey: I wasn't in that.
Chandler: I know.

Ross: I'm telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viciously screamed at total strangers! I think he's bad news!
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute... you don't like the guy Rachel's dating? Well, that's odd.

Cailin: So, how'd you guys meet?
Pete: Well, ah, the short version is I pursued her for a couple of months, then I gave her a check for 20,000 dollars and she was mine.
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version I dump him for telling people the short version.

Estelle: Oh, you two girls were outstanding! [to Joey] Do they have representation?
Joey: No, they weren't in the play.
Rachel: We're not actors.
Estelle: Oh, what a shame! Because with her face [Monica] and her chest [Rachel] I could really put something together.
Chandler: Could I borrow it?

The Director: Here we go, people! Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, badda badda badda... ah-ha! Joey Tribianni gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production.
Joey: Yes! Ha ha ha ha!

Kate: Ya know, I gave up a part on a soap for this.
Joey: Wow! Yeah I, uh, I gave up a job too.
Kate: Really? What?
Joey: Uh, de-clawing cats.

Joey: Hey, Pheebs, where were ya?
Phoebe: I'm so, so, so sorry, Joey. I am definitely gonna see your play, I swear. Your play is very important to us. Thank you for your patience. Your play is the next play I'm gonna see.

Joey: What's going on? What's this about L.A.?
Kate: They still want me for General Hospital.
Joey: But... but what about us?
Kate: Last night was wonderful. But I can't stay here just for you.
Joey: Well, so... stay for the museums!

Monica: Phoebe, it's been two days.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing it's one of those 801 numbers, right?
Ross: Phoebe, 800 is toll free. 801 is... is Utah.
Phoebe: No, no, no, oh no, it has to be 800. Because all those big companies have 800 numbers, every.... Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one.

All: Hang it up! Hang up the phone!
Phoebe: Fine, fine! Uh oh!
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Well, I think I broke it. But that's all right, here's the number you can call.