Monica: Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?
Rachel: What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass?
Monica: I mean, this has been, like, my dream, since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monica's Bakery.

Ross: Hey, you guys! Guess what?
Rachel: Got a job on a river boat?
Ross: Ya know what? I didn't wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? You're not my girlfriend anymore so...
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
Ross: Right.
Rachel: Now that you're on your own, you're free to look as stupid as you like.
Ross (to Monica): You like it, right?
Monica: Oh, absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. Ross, Ross! I'm kidding!
Rachel: Yeah, come here!
Monica: What was it you were gonna tell us?
Rachel: Yeah. Oh, was it how you invented the cotton gin?

Chandler: So, um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller-skating thing to happen?
Phoebe: Um... oh, about three months.
Chandler: Okay, so I guess that's about, uh, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.

Phoebe: Whoa whoa whoa! You guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women? ...No.

Phoebe: I�m just saying, this woman... I mean, she's fictitious, no?
Pete: Why would you say that?
Phoebe: 'Cause you're still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so... 'cause you figure, oh, if you spend a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Pete: You're good. You're good!
Phoebe: Yeah. No, I'm fairly intuitive and psychic. It's a substantial gift.
Pete: Listen, can you promise me that you won't tell her, though?
Phoebe: Absolutely. Oh, I promise. Tell her what?
Pete: Thanks a lot.
Phoebe: No, I'm serious. I mean, I'm intuitive, but my memory sucks.

Chandler: Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?

Ross: Sorry. 'Cause, um, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
Rachel: Sophisticated like a hooker?

Ross: There you go! Good enough for your party, huh?
Rachel: Sure.
Ross: Yeah?
Rachel: Sure, I'll just sit next to the transexual from purchasing.

Ross: Rach, ya know, I can see you naked any time I want.
Rachel: What?
Ross: All I have to do is close my eyes. See? Woohoo!
Rachel: Ross! Stop that!
Ross: Ah, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that any more!
Ross: Uh, sorry. Nothing you can do about it. It's one of my, uh, rights as the ex-boyfriend. Oop... oh yeah!
Rachel: Stop it, cut it out! Cut it out!
Ross: Okay, okay, I'm sorry, it will never happen... Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait... wait... now there are a hundred of you--and I�m the king.

Chandler: That's Yasmine Bleeth, she's a completely different kind of chick. I love you both, but in very different ways.

Rachel: Okay, you'd tell me the truth, right?
Ross: Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray.

Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here and you think about what you did!
Ross: That's a duck.
Chandler: That's a bad duck!