Monica: I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
Joey: Woah, woah, woah. Uh, no Shannon Cooper.
Phoebe: Why not her?
Joey: Cause she... uh... she steals stuff.
Chandler: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff, and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
Monica: Joey, that is horriable!
Joey: Hey, I liked her, all right? Maybe... maybe too much. I don't know, I guess I just got scared.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Joey: I didn't think anyone'd buy that. Okay!

Mr. Green: So, uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it?
Chandler: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?

Chandler: Okay, think! What would Jack and Chrissy do?

Rachel:: Thank you for my beautiful earrings, they're perfect. I love you.
Ross: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, okay?
Rachel:: Now I love you even more.

Rachel:: Listen honey, can you keep Dad occupied? I'm gonna go talk to Mom for a while.
Ross: Okay. Do you have any ideas for any openers?
Rachel:: Uh... let's just stay clear of, "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter," and you should be okay.

Phoebe: Listen, if you wanna go, just go.
Gunther: No, she'll yell at me again.
Phoebe: All right, I can get you out.
Gunther: What?
Phoebe: Shhh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.

Phoebe: Okay, okay, she's taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here. But it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Guest: What about my friend Victor?
Phoebe: No, only the three of you. Any more than that and she'll get suspicious.
Guest: All right, let me just get my coat.
Phoebe: There isn't time! You must leave everything! They'll take care of you next door.
Guest: Is it true they have beer?
Phoebe: Everything you've heard is true.

Mrs. Green: You work and you work and you work at a marriage, but all he cares about is his stupid boat.

Mr. Green: You work and you work and you work on a boat...