Monica: How could I take a job where I have to make something called, "Laverne and Curly Fries?"

Rachel: Joey, the dog will lick himself, but he will not touch your sandwich. What does that tell you?

Rachel: What happened to, uh, MEG?
Monica: MEG was good for me, but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is "get out before they go down."
Joey: That is so not my motto.

Joey: Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Yeah, sure.
Joey: By someone besides Monica?

Phoebe: It was an accident and... and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
Mrs. Buffay: What are these, stitches?
Phoebe: Yeah, eight of them. That's fifty-six to him. You know, also, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long, 'cause that cone will fill up really, really fast.