Rachel: Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?

Phoebe: You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered.
Chandler: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.

Monica: I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower... ugh! It's like I'm sixteen all over again.
Rachel: Well, you're not sixteen. You're both adults now.
Monica: Get out you dufus!
Rachel: Or ya know, he's rubber and you're glue.

Monica: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
Joey: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have, like, time alone with my thoughts. But, you know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.

Joey: Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine? Huh?
Chandler: Well, I like both eggs equally.
Joey: Oh, come on! Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other, and I wanna know which.
Chandler: Well, what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. Did you really expect me to never find new eggs?

Phoebe: I mean, this poor woman!
Ross: What woman?
Phoebe: The voice woman. You know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
Rachel: Okay, Phoebs. But what about you?
Phoebe: Well, I have a video. You have to pay attention. No this... this voice woman, she's so talented, but according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have, like, the right look or something. You know? I mean, it's like, she's like one of those animals at the pound who, like, nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough. Or you know, like... like some old dog who's just kind of like, stinky and.... Uh! Oh my God, she's Smelly Cat. Oh! Oh, that song has so many levels.

Phoebe's Smelly Cat:
Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault.
They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favorite pet.
It may not be a bed of roses.
And you're no friend to those with noses.