Phoebe: I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up.
Chandler: Well, they were chair-shaped cows. They never would have survived in the wild.

Chandler: Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
Joey: What if we have to pee?
Chandler: I'll cancel the sodas.

Ross: Listen, have you ever been, uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and, uh, she started laughin'?
Chandler: Yeah, but, uh, it was 1982 and my Flock of Seagulls haircut was tickling her chin.

Ross: Woah, woah, woah! Australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, no, Homo-habilus was erect, Australopithicus was never fully erect.
Chandler: Well maybe he was nervous.