Phoebe: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
Ross: What? Okay, now how do you know that?
Phoebe: Because she's your lobster.
Chandler: Oh, she's goin' somewhere.
Phoebe: Come on, you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, you know, holding claws like...

Phoebe: Oh! Okay, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [Then in a male voice:] "Dude, Eleven o'clock: Totally hot babe checkin' you out." That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.

Phoebe: Hey, Mon, what is this?
Monica: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was, uh, a little bigger then.
Chandler: Oh, I thought that was what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.

Joey: What is with your nose?
Rachel: They had to reduce it because of... of my deviated septum.
Chandler: Okay, I was wrong. That's what they used to cover Connecticut.

Mrs. Geller (on video): Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica?
Monica (on video): Over here dad.
Mr. Geller (on video): Wait, how do you zoom out? There she is.
Joey: Some girl ate Monica!
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: Uh, so how many cameras are actually on you?