Chandler: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done!
Phoebe: Stick a fork what?
Chandler: Like when you're cooking a steak.
Phoebe: Oh, okay... I don't eat meat.
Chandler: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
Phoebe: Well you know, you just... you eat them and you can tell.
Chandler: Okay then. Eat me, I'm done!

Susie: But, um, here's an idea. Have you ever worn women's underwear?
Chandler: Well, yes, yes, actually. But, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's... and there were three of us in there.

Chandler: That was in the fourth grade! How could you still be upset about that?
Susie: Well why don't you call me in twenty years and tell me if you're still upset about this.
Chandler: All right, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back!

Chandler: All right, one of you give me your underpants.
Ross: Oh, no, no, no.
Joey: Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.
Chandler: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
Joey: Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.

Phoebe: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
Rachel: Oh yeah?
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
Chandler: How long you been waitin' to say that?
Phoebe: About 20 minutes.

Van Damme: Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying.
Joey: Aaagghhhhh.
Director: Cut.
Van Damme: Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying.
Joey: Aaagggghhhhh.
Director: Cut.
Joey: Aaaggh!
Van Damme: Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying.
Joey: Aaaaagggghhhhh! Mommy!
Director: Cut.
Van Damme: Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dead.