Ross: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
Chandler: Why, yes, Ross. Pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.

Phoebe: Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan. He's skating tonight at the Garden. He's in the Capades.
Joey: The Ice Capades?
Chandler: No, no, the Gravel Capades. Yeah, the turns aren't as fast, but when Snoopy falls... funny!

Julie: So is there, like, a story, or do they just start doing it right... oh, never mind.
Chandler: Okay, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
Monica: All I say is she better get the job.
Ross: Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.

Phoebe: I... I don't... I don't understand. How can you be straight? I mean, you're... you're so smart, and funny, and you throw such great Academy Award parties.

Duncan: Well, I've never told you this, but there were one or two times back in college when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar, and wake up with a woman next to me. But I... I... I told myself it was the liquor and everyone experiments in college.
Phoebe: Sure.
Duncan: But now I know I don't have a choice about this, I was born this way.
Phoebe: I... I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years, and you think you know him, and then one day says, "Oh, I'm not gay."