Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid. Chandler & Joey: That's nice.
Ross: No, no. With him. I'm on this field, and they... they hike me the baby. And I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defense is coming right at me.
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Ross: Right, but it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us.

Joey: I'm taking Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Ross: Whoa... what about Phoebe's birthday?
Joey: When's that?
Ross: Tonight.
Joey: Oh, man! What're the odds of that happening?
Ross: You take your time.

Everyone: Surprise!
Ross (having dropped Phoebe's cake): What the hell were you doing? You scared the crap outta me.
Rachel: Was that the cake?
Ross: Yeah, yeah - I got a lemon smush.
Monica: Come on, she'll be here any minute.
Rachel: I hope it's ok.
Chandler (reading): "Happy Birthday Peehee."
Monica: Well, maybe we can make a "b" out of one of those roses.
Ross: Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.

Dr. Rosen: So, they still seem normal.
Dr. Mitchell: That's because they are normal.
Dr. Rosen: Okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out with women that we meet at the hospital, it turns into...
Dr. Mitchell: Would you relax? Look around: There are no pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners. They're fine.

Chandler: Okay, worst case scenario: Say you never feel like a father. Say your son never feels connected to you as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Ross: Do you have a point?
Chandler: You know, you'd think I would.

Phoebe: Is he all right?
Ross: Yeah. The doctor got the "k" out. He also found an "m" and an "o".
Chandler: We think he was trying to spell out "monkey".