Ross: Oh! Pheebs, I'm sorry, but I've got to go. I've got Lamaze class.
Chandler: Oh, and I've got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in gym.

Chandler: I was just going over your data here, and -little thing -you've been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Nina: Which is bad because...?
Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.
Nina: Your... excuse me?
Chandler: WENUS. Weekly Estimated Net Usage...
Nina: Oh... ...Net Usage Statistics. Right, gotcha. It won't happen again. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your...WENUS.

Rachel: Oh, cool. "Urkel" in Spanish, is "Urkel".

Joey: Pheebs? You think it would be ok if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna do that? Why?
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, she'd be there.

Chandler: Mr. D, how's it going, sir?
Mr. Douglas: It's been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Chandler: And?
Mr. Douglas: It's pretty ugly. We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.

Rachel: Are you seeing her again tonight?
Joey: Yep - Ice Capades.
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. I've never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.

Ross: Carol, honey? Shh, everything's gonna be all right.
Carol: What do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi. Is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"

Nina: For the past couple of days, people have been avoiding me and giving me these really strange looks.
Chandler: Oh, well, uh, maybe that's because they're, uh, jealous of us.
Nina: Maybe. But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors.