Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?

Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department: Are you wearing makeup?
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.
Chandler: That's funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.

Ross: Oh, well... I, uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...
Susan: Come in.
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class and I have to get it back to the museum.
Susan: What's it look like?
Ross: Kinda like a big face without skin.

Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.
Susan: Well, you know, you... you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.

Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything.
Ross: Really?
Phoebe: I can show you. Okay, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Chandler: I'd just like to say I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.

Chandler: Yeah, it's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.

Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.
Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom.

Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog loose over the city. How often does that happen?
Phoebe: Almost never!

Ross: And everyone's telling me, 'you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major.' So, on a dare, I pick paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because--let's face it--you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.

Phoebe: Oh, you guys have to make a wish.
Monica: Make a wish?
Phoebe: Come on, you know: Thanksgiving. Oh! You got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?
Joey: The bigger half.

Chandler: Alright, I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you planned; but for me this has been really great, you know... I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, if you guys had been with your family, or if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.