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BUREAUCRACY & USA
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Often I hear from my US colleagues as to how difficult it is for them to deal with bureaucratic India and laugh at the Indian officials’ statements that their process is very simple and highly tuned to business efficiencies. In the past I used to agree with them and even feel indignant about the state of affairs in the ‘processdom’. With years of travel and dealing with over a dozen countries, my opinions started to mellow. But it is the land of Uncle Sam that really turned my opinions topsy-turvy. We all know how difficult it is to get a telephone service in India and what super human efforts are required to get a gas cylinder replaced and monumental inefficiencies of the banks in India. But Uncle Sam opened my eyes to the reality. I moved into this country after a lapse of 11 years and after spending 10 years in Australia (which I considered to be a degraded India and accused it on the British legacy – that is a separate story). I attempted to get a Telephone Connection, the incumbent baby bell (Pacbell) exposed its might in a big way and made me realize the meaning of the phrase “the empire strikes back”. The Pacbell CSR greeted me politely and offered to help me organize my telecommunication needs. He took 30 minutes to record my details and complained at every moment about his computer system. He needed my Social Security Number (the set of numbers that distinguishes a living specie from the nonexistent in USA), luck could have it, he declared that his computer could not confirm it. So another grueling round of name spelling commenced much to the chagrin of the CSR. I spelt my 32 syllable name like a parrot S – for sam, A – for apple etc. and realized the attention span disorders of the American CSRs. Again no luck. He suggested that I go to one of their offices with my Passport and identify myself. I made the monumental mistake of trying to rationalize the situation, I reminded him that I have an Amex Card and other utilities which should be a proof for my identity besides it is his computer problem and I do not have to parade my identity to his extended colleagues. The bureaucratic wolf with gnashing teeth baying for my blood emerged from the thin veners of polite greetings and choreographed phrases of politeness. The CSR revealed his true colors in line with his global brethren. With one imperious statement he showed my place, “Sir, Do you need a telephone service or not? If you need one, do what I say”. I meekly surrendered. I gently asked as to how long it will take to get my connection,. The babu like reply was, “As long as it takes for the process to complete”. After my protracted wooing, the CSR rattled me a process by which my identity proof is communicated to him which would have made any South Block babu proud. Long Live International Brotherhood of Babus With this simple incident, we can tell our American friends that their systems are no better. Perhaps Indira Gandhi was after all right, when she said “Corruption is Global”. Perhaps she was basing her statements on the basis of corruption which is nothing but bureaucracy in a different manifestation. I do not want to come to conclusions with one incident, so I recall my banking escapades in this country. I go to Wells Fargo, a respected bank highly recommended by the locals as a bank that prides in efficiency and customer service. I try to open an account; a sweet lady (banks provide such species to lure unwary victims) opened my account and made my day. The next day, I go to the counter to deposit a check, the clerk would not accept my pay-in-slip, because I have not tore it out of the pay-in-slip book. I looked at her and confirmed that she is not a desi from SBI. Until I did this, she was reading a newsletter. On getting my check, she rung a bell, cast a dirty look on me and continued reading her papers. I could feel several pairs of eyes looking at me suspiciously. An imperious supervisor arrived. She looked at me, looks at the check and asked me “Are you a new account?” I was tempted to say, no I am Siva and I am not an account new or old. But I bit my lips and meekly replied, yes ma’am. The supervisor decreed that the money will be made available in my account after 12 days and until then I can get $100 out of the $6000 check I have deposited. The counter clerk reluctantly pushed me a receipt and dismissed me. This happened twice more in the next two weeks. During that time I am supposed to be given an ATM card that would keep me from the glare of these imperious American babus. But the card would not come. Every week the sweet lady ordered a new one and it would never come. At last six weeks into the drama, I got one. This banking experience is no different from the ones we get out of SBI or Canara Bank, at least there we can befriend people and get things done, here in USA, the process is the bigger babu than the bureaucrats. Why are we cursing India and its bureaucracy ,we are not alone in this malaise. Our words of wisdom “Vasudeva Kundumbakam” (the whole world is a single family) should have been coined by bureaucrats of the Vedic times. (babu – Indian pet name for beauracrats) |
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