The Average Person Has 176,352 Thoughts A Minute
Here Are Just A Few Of Them:
Great Idea Boss!!!
Cover For Me!
It Was Like That When I Got Here!!
Rain On Mud
Tomorrow Is Another Day
Love Is Just A Word
Don't Look Down
I'll Be There For You!!!
Trying To Be Cool Is The Most Uncool Thing In The World. (Except For Maybe Those Jumpers That Grans Knit!!!!!)
I Hope You Choke, On Your Bacardi And Coke!!!!!
How Do You Spell This?
I Don't Know, It's A Mystery
Mussletoff!
The World Can Change In A Second, So I Find The Sunshine Beckons Me, To Open Up The Gate And Dream
Turn Off Lights, Take The Bus, Leave The Car At Home, Save Our Planet Because There Are No Lifeboats On Spaceship Earth
Tomorrow's Wall Street Journal
Have You Ever Wondered About Cacti? Consider This. Russia Decides To Blow Up The Polar Ice Caps With Atomic Bombs. The World Will Completely Flood In A Matter Of Months. Everyone Will Die Except The People And Priminister Of Israel; Who Tells His People "Right, You've Got Three Months To Learn How To Breathe Underwater." The Same Thing Happened To Cacti. The World Became A Barren, Desolate Place They Had A Choice; Adapt Or Perish. They Learned How To Survive With Very Little Water, Developed A Thick Skin To Withstand The Blazing Heat Of The Sun. Animals And Insects Tried To Get To The Sweet Liquid Inside That Tough Exterior, So They Grew Sharp, Spiky Thorns To Keep The Insects And Animals Out. They Also Needed Insects To Carry Out The Esstential Process Of Pollination. So They Grew Pretty, Colourful, Flowers.
Was It Good For You?
There's More Chance Of Elvis Crashing A UFO Into The Loch-Ness Monster, Than There Is Of You Winning The Lottery!!!!!
Does My Bum Look Big In This?
:-) Smiley Smell
Life's Too Short To Be Afraid So Take A Pill To Numb The Pain, You Don't Have To Take The Blame!
O, L, O, L, A, Q, I, C, I, 8, 2, B4, I, P.
"%£&*)(^&+=_-_;:'@#~?/>,<.|\¬`***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sub-Cranial Hematoma
Agamemnom
The Plasma Conduits Are Erupting!!!
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D'oh!
Everything Is Open Nothing Is Set In Stone Rivers Turn To Ocean Oceans Tide Your Home Home Is Where The Heart Is And Your Heart Has To Roam Drifting Over Bridges Never To Return Watching Bridges Burn Everywhere There's Trouble Nowhere Safe To Go Pushes Turn Shovels Shovelling The Snow Frozen You Have Chosen The Path You Wish To Go Drifting Now Forever And Forevermore Until You Reach Your Shore And You Really Didn't Think It Would Happen, But It Really Is End Of The Line So I'm Sorry That You Turned To Driftwood But You've Been Drifting For Long Long Time
If There's Anything In Your House Which Isn't Beautiful Or Useful, Throw It Out
A Thing Of Beauty Is A Joy Forever
Homer-Clease Cares Not For Beans!!
Woo-Hoo!!!
Screw You Guys! I'm Going Home!
Oh My God! They Killed Kenny! You Bastards!
I Want Cheesy Poofs!
U R A *
Despite What It Says On The Ad, DO Look Down On Oblivion
-Oh Beans, Beans, Wherefore Art Thou Beans?
Deny Thy Ketchup And Refuse Thy Tin.
Or If Thou Wilt Not Be But Sworn My Fullness And I'll No Longer
Be Hungry.
-Shall I Eat More Or Shall I Stop At This?
-'Tis But Thy Brandname That Is My Enemy.
What's Heinz? 'Tis Not Paper, Nor Tin, Nor Ketchup, Nor Any Other
Part Belonging To A Can Of Baked Beans.
Zagaflababootle-bottle Lycoperson-non-escalenter = My Kid's Name!!!!
Frankly My Dear, I Don't Give A Stuff!!
You Are Not As Fat As You Imagine!!!!!!!!!
Do Something That Scares You Everyday.
Don't Read Beauty Magazines, They Will Only Make You Feel Ugly!!!!!
Enjoy The Power And Beauty Of Your Youth.
Maybe You'll Get Married, Maybe You Won't. Maybe You'll Have Children, Maybe You Won't. Maybe You'll Divorce At 40. Maybe You'll Dance The Funky Chicken On Your 75th Wedding Anniversary.
Don't Worry, That Knowing That Worrying Is As Effective As Trying To Solve An Algebra Equation By Chewing Bubble Gum.
Be Nice To Your Siblings. They're Your Best Link To Your Past And The People Most Likely To Stick With You In The Future.
Get To Know Your Parents. You Never Know When They'll Be Gone For Good.
Live In New York Once, But Leave Before It Makes You Hard.
Live In Northern California Once But Leave Before It Makes You Soft.
Travel.
Floss.
Don't Feel Guilty If You Don't Know What You Want To Do With Your Life. Some Of The Most Interesting People I Know, Didn't Know At 25 And Still Don't.
Remember Compliments You Receive, And Forget The Insults.
Be Careful Whose Advice You Buy. Advice Is A Form Of Nostalgia. Dispensing It Is A Way Of Wishing Away The Past, Painting Over The Ugly Parts, And Recycling It For More Than It's Worth.
Don't Expect Anyone Else To Support You. Maybe You'll Have A Trustfund, Maybe You'll Have A Wealthy Spouse, But You Never Know When Ether One Might Run Out.
Accept Certain Inalienable Truths. Prices Will Rise, Politicians Will Flander, You Too Will Get Old, And When You Do, You'll Fantasise That When You Were Young, Prices Were Reasonable, Politicians Were Noble, And Children Respected Their Elders.
Don't Mess Too Much With Your Hair, Or By The Time You're 40 It'll Look 85
Be Kind To Your Knees. You'll Miss Them When They're Gone.
Don't Congratulate, Or Beguile Yourself Too Much.
But Trust Me On The Sunscreen.
Enjoy The Freedom And Happiness Of The Holidays. You Will Not Understand The Freedom And Happiness Of The Holidays Until You're Back At School. Trust Me. In 2 Week's Time You'll Look Back And Remember How Much You Really Had To Do And How Much Really Was On TV.
What's The Point Of Travelling Thousands Of Miles Just To Have All The Comforts Of Home?
If An Experience Hurts Then Its Probably Worth Having
Pot, Speed, LSD - Crap. I'm Hooked On Human Beings, Being Me, That's My Drug, The Great World And All The People In It.
The First Half Of Our Lives Is Ruined By Our Parents, The Second Half By Our Children.
Five Hundred Years Ago People Believed In Witchcraft. Now We Believe In Politics And Economics.
Women Do Almost Everything Better Than Men, Which Is Why They're Happy To Sit Back And Let Them Do It.
You'll Know When The Human Race Has Come To It's Senses When Words Like Love, Joy, And Happiness Appear In Newspapers As Often As Words Like War, Money, and Production
Steal One Pound And You're A Thief. Steal A Million And You're A Tycoon. Steal A Billion And You're A Statesman.
Democracy Can Be Defined As A Form Of Dictatorship, In Which Every Few Years, You Are Permitted To Chose Between Three (Or More) Identical Dictators.
The World Honours Wise Men But Prefers To Be Governed By Fools.
The Entertainment World Is Phoney, And Admits It. The Political World Is Also Phoney, And Doesn't Admit It. That's What Makes The Political World In Many Ways More Entertaining
Newspapers Go To Great Lengths To Give Honest Accurate Accounts Of The Lies Told By Politicians.
The Nature Of Politicians Is To Waste Money, Yet People Still Are Surprised When They Do, AND Keep Giving Money To Them!
The Only Real Wealth Is What You Have In Your Mind, In Your Heart And In The Hearts Of Others
When You're Young You're Hardly Aware That Doctors, Lawyers And Tax Collectors Exist. When You're Old You're Hardly Aware That Any Other Type Of Person Exists.
Since Life's A Series Of Disasters, You'd Better Choose Which Disasters Are Worth Having, Which Ones You'll Enjoy And Learn From
I Was Rushing Along The Street To Catch A Train When A Little Girl Walking In Front Of Me Dropped The Bottle Of Milk She Was Sent To Buy. The Bottle Broke, The Milk Spilled, The Child Started To Weep. I Went Past And Got My Train. I Have Never Forgiven Myself For My Failure To Stop And Give The Kid The Price Of Another Bottle. I Should've Known Then What I Know Now. There's Always Another Train.
We Live In Big City, In A Big County, A Big Country, A Huge Planet, A Huge Solar System, An Enormous Galaxy, An Astronomical Super-Cluster Of Galaxies And In An Infinitesimally Big Universe. But None Of That Really Matters, Because In Life The Small Things Are Or Make Up The Big Things.
There Are Very, Very, Very Few Hard And Fast Rules In Life, One Certain Thing Isn't Going To Make Everyone Happy, And Something Else Won't Make Everyone Unhappy. The Very, Very, Very, Very Few People That Have Discovered One Of These Very, Very, Very, Very, Very Few Rules Are Either Hailed As Geniuses Or Locked Up As Madmen.
Truth And Beauty Is The Price Of Happiness.
People Don't Want To Be Immortal, But They Don't Want To Die Either.
All My Life, I've Been Stupid Enough To Lend Money To People Who Were Stupid Enough To Promise To Pay It Back, But Not Stupid Enough To Do So.
Count Your Blessings, And While You're At It, Count Your Change
I Make Most Decisions With My Heart, My Head Just Takes Care Of The Administrative Details
Symbol Of Progress - The Public Address System Tells Us How Late The Train's Going to Be.
The Juggler Comes Closest To Our Hearts When He Misses The Ball.
Most Of The Men I Know Hate Their Jobs. I Ask Them " Why Don't You Quit?" They Invariably Reply "It's For The Wife And Family" But Are The Wife And Family Ever Consulted? Perhaps They'd Be Happier To Have The Father Doing Something He Liked At £40 A Week Than Something He Hated At £80 A Week. Perhaps They'd Be Happier On Welfare. I Don't Know. I Do Know That Most Men Hate Their Work And That From Hating Your Work It's An Easy Step To Hating The People For Whose Sake You Do The Work That You Hate.
There Are About Six Million Atoms In The Thickness Of A Piece Of Paper. If A Nucleus Was A Football The Atom Would Be The City Of London. The Nucleus Is Made Up Of Protons And Neutrons. An Electron Is Two Thousand Times Smaller Than One Of Either Of These Particles. Someone Has Claimed That The Electron Can Be Split. It Hasn't Been Proven Yet. The Line Between Genius And Insanity Is A Fine One Which Is Defined Only By Success.
Happiness Is Found Within You. Not In Men, Money Or DNA Jeans.
Unfortunately, You Must Tell Lies To Live In This World. But You Should Do It In Such A Way That People Can Grasp The Truth You're Trying To Convey To Them.
Keep Your Head In The Clouds And Your Feet On The Ground.
If You Don't Have A Dream, How Are You Gonna Have A Dream Come True?
Don't Take Reality For Granted
A Lot Of People Say Live Life To It's Fullest; But For A Lot Of Them That Would Mean Quitting Their Jobs, Taking On A Job They Liked But Having A Lot Less Money. And Of Course 99.9999999% Of These People Stay At The Jobs They Hate So They Can Earn Lots Of Money For Expensive Holidays So They Can Get Away From That Awful Job. So Before You Say That You Should Live Life To It's Fullest Make Sure That You Know Exactly What That Constitutes And That You Already Are.
The Voice Of The Knee
If Life's A Garden Then Children Are The Flowers
Candles Are Magic.
If You Can Say That Life Is Beautiful, Then Wherever You Are, You're Making Something Of It
Our Years On Earth Are Borrowed Time
Appreciate What You've Got Before It's Gone. The World Can Change In A Moment, Your Life Can Collapse Around You In A Second
If Their Are Little Pieces Of Heaven On Earth Then Music Is One Of Them
If You Think You Won't Win, You've Already Lost The Race.
You Could Light A Fire. You Could Call People To Watch. You Could Stick Your Hand In The Flames. You Could Show It To Them Before You Went To The Doctor. After You Had Gone Each One Would Wander Up To The Fire One By One, And Each Would Stick His Own Hand In It.
Don't Give Orders To Life. It Isn't Room Service. It Won't Bring What You Decided, But What It Decided (Incidentally, So Will Room Service).
One Should Never Be Angry Or Disappointed With The World. It's Only Function Is To Be Interesting And It Does That Magnificently.
According To Einstein's Theory Of Relativity Our Future Is Pre-Destined For Us.
The Value Of Making Mistakes Is To Learn Which Ones You Enjoyed The Most So You Can Make Them All Over Again.
The World Is Like An Oil Painting. You Need The Dark Colours So The Bright Ones Stand Out.
Everyone Has Only One Fear. That Of Fear Itself.
Anybody Can Act. Most Of Us Do Nothing Else.
The Wreckage You've Made Of Your Life Is Not Totally Useless, It Makes An Excellent Platform To Stand On While You Tell Other People How To Manage Their Lives.
Isn't The Collective Materialism Which The Churches Practice As Bad As The Individual Materialism Against Which They Preach?
If Fifty-Pound Notes Ran About The Streets No-one Would Take Them Because They're Afraid Of The Social Stigma.
God Made The Country. Satan (Mrs Chapman) Made The City, And They Collaborated On The Suburbs.
It's Much Easier To Take The Straight And Narrow Path. There's So Little Traffic.
God Created Top Buttons On Shirts So That They Could Be Left Undone.
Without Rules And Laws, Man Has No Freedom
I Never Thought I'd Come To This. What's It All About?
Goodbye, We All Miss You And Think Of You Everyday
Life Has No Rhyme Or Reason And The More You Think About It The More Lost You Get.
It Is The Function Of The Parent To Eat The Child. It Is The Function Of The Child To Defend Himself Against Being Eaten.
As Long As You Think Happy Thoughts, You'll Stay Beautiful Forever.
Follow The White Rabbit
Middle Age Is The Time Of Life When You Wonder If Public Places Need To Be So Brightly Lit.
When The Students Asked Me About Sexual Morality, I Told Them, "I Saw A Marvellous Example Of It This Week. A Man (Italian I Think) Gave His Seat To A Woman On The Express Bus, And Stood Up All The Way From Hamilton To Toronto."
We Spend The Second Twenty Years Of Our Life Learning That Everything We Were Told In The First Twenty Years Was A Pack Of Lies.
If You Want To Be Rich When You Return From Your Travels, You Better Be Poor When You Set Out.
People Never Meet The Homeless's Eyes Because They're Frightened To See What They'll Look Like If They Ever Lost Their Job.
Never Say I Love You If You Don't Mean It
Sometimes It's Easier To Lie To Ourselves And Sometimes It's Necessary But Make Sure That One Day You Can Admit The Truth To Yourself
When The World Comes Up To You Snarling And Threatening, Stand Your Ground And Spit In It's Face. It Will Then Apologise, Draw Back, And Meekly Ask If There's Anything It Can Do To Help You.
Frank Mills
There Used To Be A Professor At The University Of Budapest Who Entered The First Class Of Each Year Bearing A Huge Armful Of Books. He Slammed Them Down On The Desk, And The Students Jumped Two Feet In The Air. Then He Shouted "I Know Nothing!!!" And They Jumped Three Feet In The Air. Then He Banged On The Books And Shouted "But I Know Where To Find Out!!!" And They Jumped Four Feet In The Air And Started Learning Something.
What IS So Great About Having An Idea?
Reality Is Merely A Tool To Feed Your Imagination.
If You're Happy, Why Shouldn't You Dream Your Life Away?
Adventures In History: "I'm Sorry, Wolfgang Mozart, But Since You Scored Only Twenty-Seven Per Cent In Pys. Ed., We Can't Admit You To The Academy Of Music"
Slaves Obey For Fear Of The Lash; Free Men "Co-Operate" For Fear Of Seeming "Irresponsible". The Result In Both Cases Is The Same, And Brings The Same Satisfaction To The Authorities.
After The Last Eskimo Has Been Liquidated, Canada Will Appoint A Royal Commission To Find Out How On Earth Such A Dreadful Thing Could Have Happened
A Peace-Loving Nation Is One That Has Already Obtained, By Aggression, All The Territory It Can Handle.
If You Spend All Your Time Worrying About Dying, You Might As Well Be Dead.
If The Whole Earth Fell Into A Black Hole It Would Be Compressed To The Size Of A Pea.
Everyone Was Impressed By His Devotion To His Wife - The Way He Called Her "Dear Heart", And Said He Owed Everything To Her Patient Self-Sacrifice, And Regretted That His Political Duties Were Always Taking Him Away From Her. The Only Person Who Wasn't Impressed Was His Mistress, Who Sat In The Front Row And Had A Hard Time To Stop Her-Self From Laughing.
Love Is A Gambling Table On Which Women Wrecklessly Throw Pounds, And Men Carefully Place Pennies.
The Words "I Love You" Are Destroyed By Any Which Follow.
Ironically Life Gains Much More Clarity In Death.
The Reason That A Lot Of Adults Look Down On Children Is Because They're Jealous Of Them. They Don't Have To Worry About Money, The Law, Doctors, Insurance Or Impressing Relatives. They Enjoy Life In It's Simplest Form.
Any Dream Will Do
I Want To Live A Life Which Could Have A Bestselling Book Written About It.
Human Love, It Must Be Remembered, Is Human - More Human Than Anything Else In This World. There's No Logic In It, No Reason, No Rules, No Consistency, No Justice, No Mathematics. In Love A Doesn't Follow B: To Win May Be To Lose: Far From Meaning What They Say, People May Not Even Mean What They Mean. One Word Or Action On One Day Can Send Love Soaring To The Skies: The Same Word Or Action On Another Day Can Smash It Beyond Repair. It's The Riskiest Game There Is, Which Perhaps Explains Why So Many Men Get Out Of It Early Or Refused To Get Involved At All.
The Reason Why We See Friends And Relatives Off At The Station Is To Make Absolutely Sure They've Gone.
Our Enemies Toughen Us Up By Attacking Us. It's Our Friends Who Gently Sap Away Our Strength.
The People Who Question What We All Just Accept Without Even Thinking Of Questioning It Are The Real Geniuses.
You Can Tell The Truth To Your Enemies; With Your Friends, It's Less Easy. Why Do We Lie So Much To Those Whom We Love? I Suppose It's Simply Because We Love Them - We Don't Want To Hurt Them, We Don't Want To Hurt The Image They Have Of Us, Or The Image We Hope They Have Of Us.
Learning About The Birds And The Bees Is Useful If You're Planning To Marry A Bird Or A Bee.
Trying To Possess Another Person Is Like Trying To Grasp Water. You Can Only Do It By Turning The Water To Ice.
Marriage Is The Means Of Making Two People Into One And A Half.
He Didn't Mind Her Drinking And Her Untidiness. What Drove Him Up The Wall Was The Way She Kept Talking And Snuggling Up To Him When He Wanted To Read The Newspaper.
I Own Nothing And Therefore I Own Everything, With The Added Advantage That I Don't Have To Look After It.
The English Are Easily Managed. For The First 25 Years You Can Terrify Them By Telling Them They May Not Pass Their A-Levels Or Their University Degree. For The Next 25 Years You Can Terrify Them By Telling Them They May Lose Their Job, Or Their House, Or Their Car. After That, You Can Terrify Them By Telling Them That They May Lose Their Pension.
If You Enjoy Your Work, You Don't Mind Other People Not Working; In Fact, You Are Happy To Support Them. But If, Like Most Englishmen, You Hate Your Work, You Resent Seeing Anybody Idle. You Want Everyone To Be As Miserable As You Are. The Man Who Likes His Work Has A Double Advantage: He Is Happy, And He Will Succeed At It. The Man Who Hates His Work Has A Double Disadvantage: He Is Unhappy, And He Will Fail At It. It Follows From This That A Man Should Only Do Work Which He Enjoys.
One Measure Of A Person Is That They Laugh At The Foolishness Of Adults, And Respects The Wisdom Of Children.
I Know R. Who Told Me: 'The Only Journalism Course I Feel
Qualified To Give Consists Of Five Words, "Travel, Suffer, Love, Read, Write."'
I Used To Look Down On The World For Being Corrupt, But Now I Adore It For The Utter Magnificence Of That Corruption.
There's No Action, I Suppose, That Can't Be Criticised Or Scoffed At Or Psychoanalysed. There Are People (I Know Some Of Them) Who Would Ask What Romeo Was Trying To Prove By Killing Himself; What Sir Francis Drake Was Running Away From; And What Was The Point Of The Egyptians Building All Those Pyramids.
Sunday Is The Day When The People Who Drove You Into The Psychiatric Ward Come To See You, Bearing Chocolates And Flowers.
Pride Wears Many Masks, Including That Of Humility.
Insecurity Wears Many Masks Including That Of Humour.
The Bridges You Cross Before You Come To Them Are Not, Unfortunately, The Ones You Are Coming To.
The Person Who Would Say Farewell To Fear And Anger, To Hatred And Resentment, Must Also Say Farewell To Love.
Hell Hath No Fury Like Middle-Class People Seeing Welfare Recipients Purchase Their Weekend Beer Supply.
War Is Hell, To Be Sure, But Men Have Yet To Come Up With A Better Means Of Escaping From Their Jobs, Their Mothers And Their Wives.
Don't Try Too Hard To Make Other People Happy. Be Happy Yourself -Laugh, Dance, Sing - And Perhaps Other People Will Catch It From You.
Newspapers Act As If The Important Human Activities Were Collective And Official In Nature - Governments Doing This Or That, Companies Doing This Or That, Parties Doing This Or That. But The Human Activities That Count Are Individual And Unofficial. What Really Happened Yesterday Was That One Woman Got Flowers, Another Had A Baby, That One Man Was Told He Had Cancer. What Really Happened Yesterday Was Life. Women Understand This Much Better Than Men; Because Women, Much More Than Men, Are On The Side of Life. During The Great Political Or Economic Crisis, A Woman Does Something Of Real Consequence, Such As
Writing A Love Letter.
Perception Is Reality.
The People We Love Are Just That. People. With Thoughts And Feelings And They Get Hurt If You're Nasty To Them. But Once We Get Into Our Cars Everyone Else Turns Into These Road Monsters Who Are Like Some Sort Of Playstaion Game Criminal. They Are Just There To Be Killed Off And They Have No Thoughts Or Feelings.
In The Old Days, People Controlled Their Kids With Physical Penalties - The Strap, The Cuff On The Ear. Today, The Penalties Are More Inclined To Be Emotional - Anger, Sorrow, Disappointment. "After All We Have Done For You" - "You've Made Us Unhappy" - "You Don't Consider Our Feelings". The Physical Punishment Left Scars That Healed; The Emotional Punishment Left Scars That Don't Heal.
The Same Students Who Ruthlessly Persecute A Weak Or Timid Teacher Assure Me Of Their Desire To Help Humanity.
Shakespeare Murdered Caesar, Romeo, Juliet And Hamlet. Most Secondary Schools Get Revenge By Murdering Shakespeare.
Those Who Can, Do; Those Who Can't, Teach. Those Who Can't Teach Teach Teachers.
What Would Happen, I Wonder If I Went Into A Secondary School Announcing "Let's All Go To Paris!" I Think 14 Women Teachers Would Volunteer And One Man Teacher, Who Would Later Chicken Out On Account Of His Wife. I Think 47 Girl Students Would Volunteer And One Boy Student Who Would Later Chicken Out On Account Of His Mother.
You're Starting To Grow Up When The Weaknesses And Meannesses And Hypocrisies You Laugh At Are Your Own.
When A Man Tells A Plain Woman She Is Attractive, The Glow On Her Face Makes Her So. Thus, What Began As A Lie Ends As The Truth.
When A Woman's In Love, She Throws Her Pride Out Of The Window - Meanwhile Making A Mental Note Of Where It Landed.
Men And Women Get No More Satisfaction From Having Friends Of The Opposite Sex Than An Athlete Gets From Playing Tiddly-Winks.
I Think A Lot Of People's Idea Of Heaven Is Going To A Cocktail Party Where Two Of The Guests Are Their Lovers But Neither Knows About The Other. There They Have A Marvellous Time, Figure Skating On Thin Ice.
Since All The Laws are Written By Men, For Men, I See No Reason Why Women Should Consider Themselves Bound By Them.
A Man Who'd Been Told He Had Six Months To Live, A Woman Who Hadn't Been Kissed For Two Years, A Couple Whose Daughter Had Become An Alcoholic - They Went To A Political Meeting, And Were Told That By 2010, Living Standards Would've Been Improved By 25%.
Isn't it Awful About Those Loafers Sitting Around And Taking Handouts And Simply Sponging Off The Taxpayer? Let's Abolish The House Of Lords Immediately.
Freedom And Justice Do Not Depend On The Goodness Of The People Up Top, But Of The Courage Of The People Down Below.
A Politician Is A Man Who Makes £50,000 A Year By Exploiting The Resentment Which Men Who Make £15,000 A Year Feel Towards Men Who Make £30,000.
One Good Way To Control And To Manipulate People Is By Imposing Some Petty, Trivial Restriction On Them. When They Complain About It, You Call Them Petty And Trivial For Complaining About Such A Petty Trivial Thing.
Gullible People Are Easily Fooled As They Are Trusting And Always Think The Best Of Others.
Some People Are Energetic, But Most People Are Lazy. It Follows From This That, In A Democratic Society, The Lazy People Have More Votes Than The Energetic. It Follows From This That A Democratic Government Will Take Most Of The Money Made By The Energetic People To Buy The Votes Of The Lazy. It Follows From This That The Energetic People Will Get Discouraged, And The Lazy People Lazier. It Follows From This That Democracy Always, And Inevitably Cuts It's Own Throat.
The Great Illusion Of Western Society Is That You Can Force People By Law To Do Something (Such As Learning Algebra), Or Force Them Not To Something (Such As Smoking Pot). The Effect, In Most Cases Is Precisely The Opposite Of What Was Intended. Human Nature Is Rebellious, Explosive, Contrary. All You Can Do By Law (And That's Been A Great Accomplishment Of Our Civilisation) Is To Prevent People, By And Large, From Killing Or Bashing Or Stealing One Another's Property. After That All That's Left To You Is Persuasion.
We've Created A Society In Which, If You Touch Another Person, You Apologise.
The Just Society, The Great Society, The New Deal, The Four Freedoms, The Socialist Paradise, The Communist Utopia - I Don't Understand Any Of These Foggy Collectives. The Only Kind Of Justice Or Greatness I Comprehend Is To Go To The Local Chippie And Buy A Bag Of Chips For The Starving Homeless Person On The Streets. It's Something I Can Do Right Now With My Own Hands - And With My Own Money.
The Game Of Politics Is Just That - A Game. Unfortunately, It's Played With Other People's Money And Sometimes With Their Lives.
In A Time Of Economic Crisis, One Hears The Voice Of The Politician, Telling Other People To Tighten Their Belts.
The Great Crimes Of Our Time Are Committed By People Who Can Truthfully Say That They Are Simply Doing Their Duty.
Throughout History, Rulers Have Put The Fear Of Death Into People. Britain's Rulers Have Done Better By Putting The Fear Of Life Into Them.
The Truth About War Comes Out Twenty Years After You Died In It.
Revolutions All End Up In The Same Way - More Laws, More Taxes, More Forms To Fill Out. So Do General Elections.
One Of England's Greatest Tragedies Is That Sober Second Thoughts So Often Prevail.
A Woman Can Only Love A Man Who's In Love Already - In Love With God, With His Work, With Art, With Life, With Kids, Or With Another Woman. She Can't Manage A Man Who Isn't In Love, A Man Who's Dead, Indifferent, Unfeeling. Who Could Love A Corpse?
Two Tests Of Love - To Be Alone When You're Together; To Be Together When You're Alone.
Falling In Love Is Like Standing At The Rail Of A Ship Which Leaves Some Great City, Late At Night, For An Unknown Destination. As It Passes The Last Remaining Lights Along The Shore, Then Swings Out Into The Darkness, The Heart Is Filled With Longing And Wonderment. There Are Storms And Rocks Out There, The Ship May Sink. Anything May Happen. But There Is No Fear - One Has Made The Right Decision - There Is Only A Strange And Beautiful Serenity.
The Course Of True Love Never Did Run Smooth
The Course Of Smooth Love Never Did Run True
We Can Know That We Love Someone, But We Can Never Know If He Or She Loves Us. We Can Only Think It, And Then Only If We Keep Getting Clear And Continuous Signals.
He Told Her, "You Are The Second Most Beautiful Woman In The World", And She Said Darkly, "Who Is The First?" And He Said, "The Woman You'll Be Five Years From Now," And So They Lived Happily Ever After.
Great Love Affairs Are Built On Firm Foundations Which Reach All The Way Down To The Tightrope.
A Sensitive Man Asks The Question Without Expressing It, And Gets The Answer Without Its Being Expressed. There Are Cases, Of Course, Where She Gives The Answer Before He Even Gets Around To The Question, But That, As Kipling Would Say Is Another Story.
He Told Her, "Being With You Helps Me Understand The Real Purpose Of Life." She Asked, "What Is That Purpose?" He Answered "Being With You", And They Lived Happily Ever After.
In Placing So Much Emphasis On Sex Between Men And Women We Have Destroyed Friendship And Came Close To Destroying Love.
Looking Back On His First Real Love He Didn't Remember Much About The Physical Side Of It. There Was One Thing He Did Remember, One Thing He Could Never Forget. When He Walked Past Her Rooming-House, He Would Whistle, And She Would Open The Window And Let Down A Note On A Piece Of String Saying "Well?" He Would Write On The Bottom, "I Love You", And Then She Would Pull It Up,
Clap Her Hands Together With Glee, And Throw Him Down An Apple Or A Cookie.
It's Hard To Say I Love You To People Who Find It Hard To Say I Love You
If You See A Man Quarrelling With A Woman, You May Be Reasonably Certain That He Is, Or At Some Time Has Been, In Love With Her. How We Love To Find Some Fault Or Flaw Or Moral Weakness In Those Who Have Helped Us; It Alleviates The Guilt We Feel About Our Ingratitude.
The Man Who Goes Out With A Woman In Order To Sleep With Her Is Like The One Who Goes To Barbados To Buy A Postcard.
Everybody Says The Great Division In Our Society Is Between The Rich And The Poor, But I Refuse To Believe It. There's A Far Greater Distinction Between Those Who Complain About Their Lots And Those Who Don't, Those In Love And Those Out Of It, Those Who Enjoy Their Work And Those Who Hate It, Those On The Side Of Death And Those On The Side Of Life.
If You Can Explain Why You Love Him, You Don't.
Musicals Are Highly Entertaining Excuses For Actors To Sing.
When You First Meet Someone Wait A While Before Asking What He Does For A Living, And Even Longer Before You Ask How Much He Earns, And Longer Still Before You Ask How Old He Is. That Way You Can Judge His Character Without Being Biased.
When You Drive Through A Tunnel Hold Breath And Make A Wish As You Leave It.
If You Know Someone You Can't Judge Their Looks, When You Say Whether They're Pretty Or Ugly You Don't Just Look At Their Appearance But Their Personality As Well.
The People You Don't Know Aren't Just Human Beings; They're People Too. The People You See On The Street, The Old Lady On The Park Bench, The Guy With The Headphones On The Bus In The Mornings. They're All People And They All Have A Story To Tell. People-Watching Can Be Very Entertaining. For The Short Time That You See These People You Look Through A Window Into Their Lives. But The Great Things About People Watching Are 1)Most People Are Way To Busy Rushing Around, They're Always Hurrying The Journey Not Enjoying It. Most Don't Even Notice Where They're Going Let Alone Someone Watching Them. In Fact You Just About Have Enough Time To Wonder Who They Are, Where They Live And Why They're Hurrying Before They're Gone. You Can Test The Fact That No-One Looks Around Them Like This: Walk Down The Street Normally But Pulling The Strangest Face You Can But Not Using Your Hands E.g. Scared, Angry, Stoned. 99.999999% Of People Won't Notice. So 1) No-One'll Notice And 2)It's An Interactive Film. You Can Get Up And Talk To The Cast And Meet The Stars, Even Get To Know Them. The Weird Thing With People Watching Is That All Of A Sudden The Human Beings Around You Become People And You Start To Treat Them Accordingly.
Don't Become So Famous That You're Too Famous To Do The Thing You Became Famous For In The First Place Anymore.
When I Die, All I Want Is To Be Remembered Once In A While.
The Same Government Which Sends You To Jail For Killing People Also Sends You To Jail For Refusing To Kill People.
The Trouble With Youth Is That Instead Of Following The Advice Of Older People It Follows Their Example.
As You Grow Older You Realise That The Only Things Which Are A Matter Of Life And Death Are Life And Death.
All You Need Is Love
Beware Of Men Who's Eyebrows Meet In The Middle. Also Beware Of Men With Red Skin, Dodgy Goatees, Pointy Tails, And Horns.
The Colston's Girls' School's Version Of The Sixth Sense:
-I See Dead People
-No, They're The Staff
Kermit Klien - Under Where?
The Key To Friendship Is Communication
Eeeeeem. No Joke Of A Lie. No Joke Of A Lie.
You Live By The Sword, You Die By The Sword
For Christ's Sake Hasn't Darren Ever Heard Of A Belt?
And What's With Those Glasses, Mel?
Hey, Crrrraaiigg! I Make Grreaat Rroaast Potatoes
Tom Went Camping On Big Brother. Well, He Pitched A Tent At Least.
Disaster Is My Way Of Life. I'm The Kind Of Person That When They Have Their Back To The Wall, The Wall Collapses.
You Can Show Other People Your Scratches But Not Your Wounds.
We Are The Music Makers And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams.
Anything Done After Careful Consideration Is Probably Not Worth Doing.
Paradise Isn't A Place, It's A State Of Mind
Well You Know That It's Fool Who Plays It Cool, By Making This World A Little Colder.
Let It Be
Curioser And Curioser
Begin At The Beginning And Go On Until You Come To The End And Then Stop
T43 + 34T
- And The Next Person To Say "Boo" Will Go Prison, So There!
- Boo!
- Who Was That?
- Boo..Hoo, Hoo, Hoo! I Was Just Crying Your Povertystrickness: I'm So Upset That You've Run Out Of Money. Boo
- Hoo, Hoo, Hoo!
Don't Get Yourself In A Lather Father
- What A Nasty Man. I Hope He Gets Ants In His Pants!
- And Smellies In His Wellies!
- And Piranhas In His Pyjamas!
We Must Learn To Accept Other People As They Are - Including Their Inability, Or Unwillingness, To Accept Us As We Are.
Were We Wise, We Would Make Less Effort To Understand Other People, And Make More Effort - Through Our Clarity, Through Our Honesty - To Help Them Understand Us.
We Must Get Back On The Side Of Life - On The Side Of Clowns And Prophets And Children, On The Side Of Carnivals And Dancing And Fireworks, On The Side Of Poets And Beggars And Wandering Minstrels, On The Side Of Hopeless Causes, Scandalous Loves, Flamboyant Failures, Impulsive Decisions, Wild Adventures, Gorgeous Extravagances, On The Side Of Magnificent Disasters And Deceptions, On The Side Of Death Itself In Glorious Technicolor.
Before You Accuse Anyone Of Wasting Time You Have To Be Very Sure Of What Constitutes Wasting Time And What Time Is For.
- If You Knew Time As Well As I Do, You Wouldn't Talk About Wasting It. It's Him.
- I Don't Know What You Mean.
- Of Course You Don't. I Daresay You've Never Even Spoken To Time.
- Perhaps Not, But I Know I Have To Beat Time When I Learn Music.
- Ah, That Accounts For It. He Won't Stand Beating. Now If You Only Kept On Good Terms With Time He'd Do Almost Anything You Like With The Clock. For Instance Suppose It Were Nine O'Clock In The Morning, Just Time To Begin Lessons, You'd Only Have To Whisper A Hint To Time And Rou-ou-ou-ou-ou-nd Goes The Clock In A Twinkling! Half Past One And Time For Tea!!
Never Imagine Yourself Not To Be Otherwise Than What It Might Appear To Others That What You Were Or Might've Been Was Not Otherwise Than What You Had Been Would've Appeared To Them Otherwise.
Good Morning Starshine
Here's What To Do With Your Possessions. Take Two Boxes - A Big One And A Small One. Put All Your Possessions In The Big Box, Leaving The Small One Empty. Each Time You Actually Use One Of Your Possessions, Put It Back In The Small Box, Not The Big One. After Three Months, Keep What You Have In The Small
Box And Throw The Contents Of The Big Box Away.
No-One's Free. We're All Slaves To Money.
There Are Six Billion People On Planet Earth, There Are Eight Million Planets Like Ours In Our Galaxy And There Are A Few Thousand Galaxies In Our Cluster And There Are A Few Million Clusters In Our Supercluster Of Galaxies. But Still In All That You Won't Find Another Person Who Is Identical To You In Every Way. We Are All Unique.
Later In Life, I See That There's No Such Thing As A Right Decision, And No Such Thing As A Wrong One, Either. There Are Decisions, And There Are Consequences To Them; But Those Consequences Are All Part Of The Human Condition. A Man's Decision Might Mean His Death, But We All Die Anyhow. A Women's Decision Might Mean The Loss Of Her Reputation, But Most People In This World Never Had A Reputation To Lose. I'd Ask About A Decision Only Whether It Took Him In His Own Direction, Whether It Was His Own Style.
You Can't Respect Another Person Until You Respect Yourself. That, I Think Is Why So Many Young People Have Or Seem To Have, Bad Manners; Are, Or Seem To Be, Inconsiderate And Disrespectful Of Others. Years Of Heckling And Criticism Have Taught Them To Look Down On Themselves, To Regard Themselves As Worthless And Irresponsible And Stupid. Deprived Of Personal Dignity Themselves, They Do Not Know How To Honour The Personal Dignity Of Others.
We Don't Really Worship God In Present-Day England, We Worship Property And Possessions - Houses, Cars, DNA Jeans. That's Probably One Of The Reasons Why We Dislike Kids. Kids Not Only Refuse To Worship Property, But Have A Way Of Damaging It - The Crime Of Crimes.
All The Saints And The Sinners Live In One House Together, All The Respectable People In Another.
Liberalism - A. Is Worried About The Condition Of The Poor And Thinks That B. Should Do Something About It Using C.'s Money.
In Politics You Set Yourself Up To Be Shot Down, Because You Just Can't Please Everyone.
I Think Of An MP As A Man Who Makes A Slashing Speech About Homosexuality, And Then Goes Out And Has Dinner With Three Other Men.
According To The Second Law Of Thermodynamics, Time Is Caused By Degeneration.
Act Like A Prat (But Make Sure You Know When You Are) You'll Make New Friends. People Don't Feel Jealous Or Threatened By Prats.
Don't Let Pride (Or Shame) Get In The Way Of Having Fun.
Insult Yourself Before Others Have A Chance To.
If You're Happy Living A Lie Why Shouldn't You?
You Work At School For Fifteen Years So You Can Work At University For A Few More So You Can Work At A Job You Hate For The Rest Of Your Life Until You Have To Live Off An Inadequate Pension. Wouldn't You Be Happier On The Dole?
Guggenheim Is The Lushest Word Apart From Chocolate.
Mathematics Is Nature's Language. Everything You See Can Be Defined In Numbers.
Fashion And Pier Pressure Are Devices Invented By Bankmanagers To Make Us Overdrawn.
Everybody's Talkin' Nobody's Listening, Too Busy Thinking About What You've Been Missing.
Everyone Calls Everyone Else Weird But I'd Much Rather Be Weird, Stand Out And Be Someone People Remember Than Someone Normal Who Just Slots Neatly Into Place And Is As Easily Forgotten As You Know, That Thing With The Stuff? You Know? I've Forgotten What It's Called. In Fact I Can't Remember What It Is At All.
Before You Can Talk You've Got To Learn To Listen.
Try This: Concentrate On One Single Tangible Object E.g. An Orange, A Pair Of Glasses, A Book. When Another Single Thought Of Any Kind At All Enters Your Head - Stop. How Long Was That? It's Much Harder Than You'd Think.
-Salaam! Salaam! Get Down Wishee!
-Salaam! Salaam!
-It's Alright Ma. He Won't Hurt You.
-False Alarm! False Alarm!
I Am Tired Of This Life Where My Time Is Not My Own Where My Days Are Ordered And Bleak. I Can Think What I Like In This Prison That's My Home But These Thoughts I Can Never Speak. I Long For The Day When I Can Run Away, Escape From The Bars Of This Guilded Cage. Watch Me Fly. Oh So High. In The Book Of My Life It's Time To Write A Brand New Page.
People Should Love For Who You Are, Not What You Pretend To Be, Not What You Wear Or Who You Go Out With.
Sheep Have Pretty Boring Lives, Are Constantly On Edge And Looking Out For New Things Coming Along And All They Ever Eat Is Grass. So Don't Be A Sheep. One Thing That Really Pisses Me Off Is When People Just Lie To Fit In. I've Done It Sometimes, I Admit, And It Can Be Difficult But I Try Hard Not To. It's Just Pointless. If People Like You Then They're Not Gonna Care What Music You Listen To, What You Wear Etc. (Of Course There Are Exceptions In Extreme Cases For Example If Your Best Mate Didn't Like Wearing Anything That Could Be A Problem!)
The Grooviest People Are The Ones Who Do Their Own Thing No Matter What's "In" At The Moment. The Ones Who Set Trends Instead Of Following Them. If What They Do And Wear (Etc.) Happen To Be In Fashion Then So Much The Better, But They Don't Strive To Stay In Fashion.
They Buy Your Dreams So They Can Sell Your Soul, Is It Any Wonder We've Lost Control?
City Rd.
Live Fast, Die Young.
And Everybody's Gonna Step Aside As You Spread Your Wings And You Will Fly, And Take Me To The Other Side, Where They Know.
Hello Sir. Remember Me? I'm The Man You Thought I'd Never Be. The Boy Who You Reduced To Tears, The Lad Called "Thingy" For Six Whole Years. Yeah, That's Right My Name's Bob, The One Who Landed The Popstar's Job. The One You Told Look, Don't Touch The Kid Who Wouldn't Amount To Much. Well, I'm Here And You're Still There. With Your Fake Sports Car And Receding Hair. Dodgy Fara Trousers That You Think Are Smart, Married To The Woman Who Teaches Art. Married To The Life, Married To The School. I Wanna Sing And Dance Sir, Now Who's The Fool? Sing And Dance? You Thought I Was Barmy. "Settle Down Thingy. Join The Army". And Who Were You To Tell Me This? The Dream I Want I'll Have To Miss. Sir Is God. He's Been Given The Right To Structure Lives Overnight. Now I Know Life's True Path. Tanks And Guns? That'll Be A Laugh. No, Not Me, I Wouldn't Make A Civilian, I Won't Lead My Life Riding Pillion. But Thanks For The Advice And I'm Sure It'll Do. For The Negative Dickheads Just Like You. As For Now I've A Different Weapon. Stage And Screen Is About To Beckon. And Here I Sit In First Class. Bollocks Sir. Kiss My Ass.
Dhactha.
Nice Plant, It's Big. Cute Name, It's Catchy.
Wake Up On Sunday Morning, Everything Feels So Boring, Is That Where It Ends? With Your Life Through A Lens?
I'm An Honouree Sean Connary Born '74 Single Handily Raising The Economy Ain't No Chance Of The Record Company Dropping Me Press Be Asking Do I Care For Sodomy, I Dunno, Yeah, Probably I'll Be Looking For Serial Monogamy Not Some Bird That Looks Like Billy Connely But for Now I'm Down With Ornithology Grab Your Binoculars, Come Follow Me
A Rich Man Is Just A Poor Man With Money
Life's A Game And Money Is How You Keep Score. - Bill Gates' Philosophy
Surreal But Nice
When You Say Nothing At All
Goodbye To You My Trusted Friend We've Known Each Other Since We Were Nine Or Ten Together We've Climbed Hills And Trees Learned Of Love And ABCs Skimmed Our Hearts And Skimmed Our Knees Goodbye My Friend Its Hard To Die When All The Birds Are Singing In The Sky Now That The Spring Is In The Air Pretty Girls Are Everywhere Think Of Me And I'll Be There
For June Who Loved This Garden, From Joseph, Who Always Sat Beside Her
I Love You
Some Jump, Some Fall, Each Dotting The Surface Like The Period At The End Of A Sentence. Then, The Stern Slips Underwater Plunging Everyone Into A Coldness So Intense It Is Indistinguishable From Fire. Ten Minutes. Twenty Minutes. The Inchoate Wail Of Fifteen Hundred Souls Slowly Fades To Individual Cries From The Darkness. "We Know You Can Hear Us!" "Save One Life!" Seven Hundred Survivors Stand By In Lifeboats Built For Twelve Hundred, Afraid To Act For Fear Of Getting Swamped. They Tell Themselves That The Voices From The Water Do Not Belong To Their Husbands Or Their Loved Ones. They Are Merely The Cries Of The Damned.
My Only Love Sprung From My Only Hate, Too Early Seen Unknown,
And Known Too Late. Prodigious Birth of Love It Is To Me, That I Must Love A Loathéd Enemy.
Act Two, Scene Two (Read It)
Everyone's An Emotional Junkie
Stalker's Day Off
Crying Is Good. It Cleans Your Eyes.
Why Do They Only Sell Mince Pies And Christmas Puddings At Christmas??????????
Red Pill, Blue Pill - Tough Decision. Can I Phone A Friend?
Dandelion
I Love Bananas!
Freedom Starts With Independence
Pi = Order In Chaos.
Make A Habit Of Doing Nice Things For Other People But Not Letting Them Know
Um, Um, Um. Now That's Fine. She's Fine.
"I Would Like To Volunteer To Put This Old Bird Out Of Her Misery!" "Cleatus! Don't You Dare Say Something Like That About Mama!" "Ahh, You Don't Have To Protect Me From Cleatus. C'm On Cleatus! C'm On! You Walk Over, But You're Limping Back, Walk Over, But You're Limping Back."
I'll Toss This Right Between The Crack Of Your Eyes!
"Cleatus! The Dogs Ripped The Garbage Open Again!" "So Shoot The Damn Dog!" "I'm Not Shooting No Dog!"
Gimmie Some Sugar
OOHHHH Her-cules, Her-cules, Her-cules, Her-cules!
OOHHHH Sher-man, Sher-man, Sher-man, Sher-man, Fabalous!
Qué Horror!!!!!!
Muy Bein! Muy Bien!
Deber-esh? Deber-esh?
Deep Questions Are Like Water, You Can Drown In Both
Don't Think About Tomorrow, Don't Think About Yesterday, Concentrate On Now, Today, Because That's The Only Time That Exists
Make Sure You Love With Your Heart Not Your Eyes.
Why Does Life Need A Meaning?
Don't Worry About Worrying
Life, What Is It But A Dream?
Where's The U?
Stand Your Ground You've Had Enough Stand Your Ground You Know Too Much Today Drifts Into Tomorrow You Can Almost Taste The Sorrow Stand You Ground You're Big Enough Lost And Found Diamond In The Rough Today Drifts Into Tomorrow You Feel Your Soul's Been Borrowed
Nip-Nat-Nas-Nip
Beep-Whizz!!!!!
Pwetty Flhowths
I've Decided-ed
Ya Pisshead
Buba-pesh?
Tit-ah-nic?
Smell-on
Oxymoron
Dude!
Cool!!!
Funky Man!!!
The True Meaning Of Life Is.........................To Eat As Much Chocolate Ice-Cream As You Can
Don't Have A Cow!!!!
Eat My Shorts!!
Eat My Bra!!
Egg On Yer Face!!!
Fried Eggs!!!!!
Shut Up!!!!!!
Cut It Out!!!!!!!
Go Away!!!!!!
Keep Out!!!!!
This Is Private Land. Any Trespassers Will Be Shot.
George Michael Went In To Spend A Penny And Came Out With A Couple Of Coppers!!!!
Goths And Jitters Are The Hippies Of The New Millennium.
Power Is Nothing Without Control
Before You Get Angry Or Stressed, Take A Metaphoric Step Back And See If In The Great Scheme Of Things Your Problem Is Relevant. Remember People Lose Their Homes, Their Loved Ones And Of Course Their Lives. Does Your Problem Seem So Big Now? (Never Use This Against Me Please)
Don't Forget We Have It Easy
Don't Worry, Be Happy!!
Don't Worry, Be Hippy!!
Flower Power!
Wavey Gravy!
Don't Worry About What Other People Think, Do What You Wanna Do
Never Take Mr. Butcher Seriously!!!!!!!!
Always Do Your Spanish Homework.
Some People Will Always Think You're A Dickhead. So You Might As Well Not Worry, And Go Ahead And Be A Dickhead!!!!!
Titanic Sunk, Get Over It!
In Your Face!!!!!!!!!!!
B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!!!!!
Did Elvis REALLY Have Blue Suede Shoes?
Thankyou For Shopping Here
"Boxing Day! Boxing Day!" "Excuse Me. Isn't Supposed To Be Mayday?" "Oh Yeah" Bbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrr CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's All Relative
It Only Takes One Match To Burn A Thousand Trees, But Only Takes One Tree To Make A Thousand Matches
E=MC²
Everything I wanted To Be, Every Time I Walked Away, Every Time You Told Me To Leave, I Just Wanted To Stay. Every Time You Looked At Me, And Every Time You Smiled. I Felt So Vacant, You Treat Me Like A Child. I Love The Way We Used To Laugh, I Love The Way We Used To Smile. Often I'll Sit Down And Think Of You For A While. Then It Passes Me By, And I Think Of Someone Else Instead, I Guess The Love We Once Had Is Officially..............................................DEAD!
Did You Know Einstein Had A Low I.Q.?
There's More Chance Of You Dying From Putting Your Socks On Than Of Getting BSE. Twenty People A Year Die From Putting Their Socks On.
Do Me A Favour, Next Time You Pass A Bank, See If It's Next To A Streetlight. (No-one Has Done This Yet!!)
Be Nice To Your Milkman. He Gets Up VERY Early.
Next Time You Come To A Zebra Crossing, Pretend To Wait To Cross, And When Someone Stops, Walk On Along The Road.
Of Course I'd Seen Her Films And Always Thought She Was, Well Fabulous But, You Know, A Million Million Miles From The World I Live In Which Is Here. Notting Hill. My Favourite Bit Of London. There's The Market On Weekdays Selling Every Fruit And Vegetable Known To Man. The Tattoo Parlour With The Guy Outside Who Got Drunk And Now Can't Remember Why He Chose "I Love Ken". The Radical Hairdressers Where Everyone Comes Out Looking Like The Cookie Monster. Whether They Want To Or Not. And Then Suddenly It's The Weekend And From Break Of Day Hundreds Of Stalls Appear Out Of Nowhere Filling Portabella Road Right Up To Notting Hill Gate. And Wherever You Look Thousands Of People Are Buying Millions Of Antiques Some Of Them Genuine And Some...Not Quite So Genuine. And What's Great Is That Lots Of Friends Have Ended Up In This Part Of London. That's Tony, For Example, Architect Turned Chef Who Recently Invested All The Money He Ever Earned In A New Restaurant. And So This Is Where I Spend My Days And Years. In This Small Village In The Middle Of The City In A House With A Blue Door Which My Wife And I Bought Together Before She Left Me For A Man Who Looked Exactly Like Harrison Ford. And Where I Now Lead A Strange Half Life With A Lodger Called "Spike?". And So It Was Another Hopeless Wednesday As I Walked The Thousand Yards Through The Market To Work Never Suspecting That This Was The Day That Was Going To Change My Life Forever. This Is Work By The Way, My Little Travel Bookshop Which, Um, Well, Sells Travel Books And To Be Frank With You Doesn't Always Sell Many Of Those.
This Is Not Life. It's THE MATRIX!!!!
Damnit!
If You Can Remember The Millennium, You Didn't Party Hard Enough
We All Live In A Yellow Submarine
Leave Room For Dreams (And Dessert)
A Good Test (It Doesn't Always Work Though, Because They May Know Someone Else With Your Name) To Find Out If People Like You Or Not Is To Ask Them What They Think Of Your Name.
I Strongly Believe That You Should Respect Anyone Who Can Do Something Really Well. It Doesn't Matter If It's The Beatles Or Shakespeare. Both Are Very Good At What They Do (Or Did).
The Poor Man Who Gives Five Pounds To Charity Is More Generous Than The Rich One Who Gives A Thousand.
Unfortunately There Will Always Be Some People Who Don't Like You. Either You're Nice, Or A Suck. Either You Stick Up For Your Mates, Or You're Bitchy. It's Hard To Get The Balance Right; The Only Solution Is To Be Yourself.
The "Pop Stars" Who Sing Songs Which Are Written For Them Are Like The People Who Put Up The Paintings Taking Credit For The Artwork.
Chapter 14 - Lilly
Prepare
You're Not Concentrating. You're Not Even Trying!!
Alright Miss, Don't Lose Your Blob.
Trying To Persuade Me After I've Made Up My Mind Can Be Likened To A Deep Sea Diver Who Is Swimming With A Raincoat (Pointless).
Someone Who Does Ballet While They Clean Their Teeth Is Likely To Stay Young Forever.
Mind The Gap
KICK ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flexi-Face
I Used To Have That Bumper Sticker
Mrs Hook And Mrs Franklin Should Be Hired For Self-Help Classes For Insomniacs
Everybody Says "My Legs", "My Eyes", "My Arms" Etc. They Make It Sound Like They Aren't Part Of You, But That They Just Belong To You. But They Also Say "My Brain". But Isn't Your Brain Essentially You?
Why Isn't Phonetic Spelt The Way It Sounds?
What Makes The Non-Stick Stuff Stick To The Frying Pan?
Why Don't They Make The Airplane Out Of The Same Stuff The Black Box Is Made Out Of?
Why Is Abbreviation Such A Long Word?
Why Do I Ask So Many Questions?
Eight Days A Week
When I Find Myself In Times Of Trouble, Mother Mary Comes To Me, Speaking Words Of Wisdom: Let It Be
I Hate, Hate, Hate, HATE The Word (Ugh!) P*nis. The Psychological Scarring From Having Sex Ed. From Mrs Williams Has Lasted A Long Time
People Who Wear Odd Hats Are Undiscovered Geniuses
Remember That Smooth Rides Are Boring, You Need Extreme Ups And Downs To Make It Exciting.
I Think That You Can Get A Better Idea Of What People Are Like Once You've Seen Their Feet, Or Them In Their Pyjamas
Children Yet, The Tale To Hear,
Eager Eye And Willing Ear,
Lovingly Shall Nestle Near.
In A Wonderland They Lie,
Dreaming As The Days Go By,
Dreaming As The Summers Die:
Ever Drifting Down The Stream -
Lingering In The Golden Gleam -
Life, What Is It But A Dream?
Memory Test: On April 3rd, Every Year, Everyone Who's Read This Must Shake Each Other's Hands And Say "Let's Go And Tap Dance Along That Wall In The Snow, My Friendly Fish"
Oh. My. God.
Holy, Moly!
And Snap! The Job's A Game. And Every Task You Undertake Becomes A Piece Of Cake A Lark A Spree It's Very Clear To See
Then I Was Inspired Now I'm Sad And Tired Listen Surely I've Exceeded Expectations After All I've Tried For Three Years Seems Like Thirty Seems Like Thirty
Now Then What'd Be Nice? We'll Start With Raspberry Ice And Then Some Cakes And Tea
Look At All My Trials And Tribulations Sinking In A Gentle Pool Of Wine Don't Disturb Me Now I Can See The Answers Till This Evening Is This Morning Life Is Fine Always Hoped That I'd Be An Apostle Knew That I Would Make It If I Tried Then When We Retire We Can Write The Gospel So They'll All Talk About Us When We've Died
Never In All My Life Have I Met A Daft Brush
I Hate Walking On Eggshells, It Hurts My Feet
Bollocks To The World And What It Thinks
How Can You Be Yourself If You Don't Know Who You Are?
Don't You Ever Feel, Like When You Read Your Favourite Bit Of A Book Or Listen To Your Favourite Song, That You've Arrived Home At Last?
Make Sure That You Make All Your Friends Feel That They're Important And Special To You.
Why Do I Get The Feeling That Sooner Or Later I'll Only Be Able To See People Through Bullet-Proof Glass While I Struggle In My Straight Jacket?
I'm So Far Round The Bend, I Can't Even See The Bend Anymore
Sometimes, Like If I'm Sitting At Home Listening To My CDs Or Whatever, I Think Of How Much People Would Laugh At Me If They Could See Me.
Fame Is A Glamorous Cage With Gold-Plated Bars
I Know I Use Them A Lot, But I Hate It When People Use Metaphors When You're Looking Practical Advice. For Example "I've Forgotten My Games Kit, What Should I Do?" And The Other Person Says "I Can Only Show The Door, It's You That Has To Walk Through It"
There's Light At The End Of The Tunnel. Either That Or It's A Train Coming Towards You.
Isn't It Funny How You Can Think You Know Someone But When You're Not There They Could Be Really Depressed And Suicidal. They Could Come In Every Day And Seem Perfectly Normal But Out Of School, They're A Wreck.
You Don't Know. I Bet You Were Never Even Given A Chance To Know.
Can You Hear The Magic? It's There. It's Calling You. Look For It And It'll Find You
Don't Brag, But Don't Be Too Modest Either. Recognise The Gifts You've Got. Other People Would Kill For Them And It Probably Makes Them Sick To See You Denying Such An Obvious Talent.
Howzat!?!
I'm Very Superstitious. I Won't Do Any Work In A Week With A Wednesday In It.
Being Depressed Is Like Walking On Broken Glass All Day, Every Day, Until You Can't Remember Why You Bother Waking Up In The Morning.
Drama Is Easy In The Kitchen
What's The Buzz Tell Me What's Happening
Most People Are Too Busy Worrying About Being Noticed To Notice Anyone Else - This Is Why It Always Surprises Me When People Notice Me (Especially When I Don't Notice Them)
Jesus I Am Overjoyed To Meet You Face You've Been Getting Quite A Name All Around The Place Healing Cripples Cute Trick Raising From The Dead And Now I Understand You're God Well At Least That's What You've Said Some People Are Put On Earth Just To Make Your Self-Esteem Go Straight Down The Toilet (Even Though They Often Don't Know That That's What They're Doing)
Everybody Dreams A Lot Some Are Lucky Some Are Not
I Accept What I See Because I'm Expecting To Wake Up
Check My Eyelids For Holes
I Get Camping Eyes In The Final Hour Last Minute Shoppers Picking Cauliflower The Fuss They Make You'd Swear They Were Buying A Car They Always Moan Moan It's Not Too Cheap, Cheaper Still, Cheaper Still Down The Street Lose My Rag And Tell Them Take Your Bag And Shop Down There Closing Down, They're Closing Down Another Road One Way System Steals The Show Mac The Knife Swigs A Can And Sings The Day Away There's More Life More Life More Life Up A Tramp's Vest
Elastic Thrombosis, Now They're Guilty Of Lyric Poaching
Gary Glitter? For Crying Out Loud!!!!
A Raven Is Like A Writing Desk Because They Can Both Produce A Few Notes Though They Are Very Flat And It Is Nevar Put With The Wrong End In Front. (It's Spelt Nevar Because That's Raven Backwards).
Careful That You Don't Confuse Who You Are With Who Want To Be
People Who Look Self-Conscious Look Stupid
Even If You Do Something Terribly If You Do It With Energy And Really Enjoy It Other People'll Enjoy It Too.
People Don't Realise How Much We Take For Granted. Imagine That Tomorrow You Woke Up And You Didn't Have A Nose. I Know It's Weird But It'd Be Nasty Wouldn't It? But, Hey, I Bet You've Never Thought "God I'm Lucky To Have My Nose". But, On The Other Hand Don't Go Worrying That Your Nose Might Fall Off Etc.
People Talk About Getting Mixed Signals From People. You Know, I Think My Receiver's Broken.
Read The Fridge
If The Oompa Loompas Are In 5P, Does That Make Mr. Perry Willy Wonka?
Don't You Ever Find That You Start Walking Somewhere (Say The Hall) And You're So Deep In Thought That You Don't Notice Where You're Going And You Suddenly Realise You're Half-Way Down Gloucester Road?
What If You Had To Risk Everything You've Ever Achieved To Gain Everything You've Always Wanted?
What If, To Get To Heaven, You Had To Brave Hell?
What If All Your Fears And All Your Dreams Resided In The Same Thing?
Music Was My First Love
And It Will Be My Last
Music Of The Future
And Music Of The Past
To Live Without My Music
Would Be Impossible To Do
In This World Of Troubles
My Music Pulls Me Through
This IS NOT A Dress Rehearsal!!!
Put Your Mistakes Behind You And Look To The Future
Never Trust A Skinny Cook
There's No One Person Who Knows It All (Except Me, Of Course). Even If You Think One Person Is Absolutely Amazing Someone Else Will Always
Manage To Find Flaws Within Them
You Can't Be Everyone (I'm Still Trying To Learn This Lesson)
Everyone's Perfect Until You Find Their Flaws
There's A Difference Between Knowing The Path And Walking The Path
Oh, It Seemed Forever Stopped Today, All The Lonely Hearts In London Caught A Plane And Flew Away All The Best Women Are Married, All The Handsome Men Are Gay You Feel Deprived Yeah Are You Questioning Your Size Is There A Tumour In Your Humour Are There Bags Under Your Eyes Do You Leave Dents Where You Sit Are You Getting On A Bit Will You Survive You Must Survive
Transcendental Meditation On The Ocean Of Reality Is Love
Outrageous! Young People Today! Should Be In The Army!
Grease Is The Word
Peachy-Keene Jelly Bean
People's Eyes Are Windows Into Their Minds
Betty Bootharoid Did More For Girl Power Than The Spice Girls Ever Did
A Lilly Of A Day Is Fairer Far In May,
Although It Droop And Die That Night
It Was The Plant And Flower Of Light.
In Small Proportions, We Just Beauties See,
And In Short Measures, Life May Perfect Be.
Everyone Has Their Own Little Corner Of Pandora's Box.
I Like Being Insane. It's A Good Excuse For Doing Stupid Things.
There Will Always Be Some People Who...Have More Money Than You, Have More Clothes Than You, Have More Friends Than You, Have More Boyfriends Than You, Have More Brains Than You And Who Can Eat Spaghetti Whilst Wearing A White Shirt. Accept It. Once You've Accepted It, You'll Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People And Start Comparing Yourself To The Person You Were Yesterday
What If In This Life So Full Of Care,
We Have No Time To Stand And Stare
No Time To Stand And Look At The Clouds,
And Stare As Long As Long As Sheep Or Cows
So What Is This Life, So Full Of Care, If We
Have No Time To Stand And Stare?
Picture Yourself On A Boat On A River With Tangerine Trees And Marmalade Skies Somebody Calls You You Answer Quite Slowly A Girl With Kaleidoscope Eyes
Lovely Rita
My Tea's Gone Cold I'm Wondering Why Got Out Of Bed At All Morning Rain Clouds Up My Window And I Can't See At All And Even If I Could It'll All Be Grey Got Your Picture On My Wall It Reminds Me That It's Not So Bad It's Not So Bad
Make Sure You Know What Your Weaknesses Are So If People Point Them Out You're Not Surprised.
Mastering A Skill (E.g. Playing The Piano) Is 5% Inspiration And 95% Perspiration.
Don't "What If" Too Much. What If Died Tomorrow, What If Forgot To Do My Spanish Homework (Ahhh!!), What If My Nose Fell Off, What If I Had A Beard Made Of Green Spinach? But If They're Fun What Ifs, That's Just Funny (And Very Useful During Assembly Or Prize Day Etc.). For Example, What If I Was Famous, What If I Was On Big Brother, What If I Could Read Minds, What If I Woke Up Tomorrow And I Was Someone Else? (Don't Get Me Started On Those What Ifs)
Remember: It Happened In One Quantum Reality
I Wore My Coat With Golden Lining Bright Colours Shining Wonderful And New And In The East The Dawn Was Breaking And The World Was Waking Any Dream Will Do
Where Is Fancy Bread? In The Heart Or In The Head?
We Starve Look At One Another Short Of Breath Walking Proudly In Our Winter Coats Wearing Smells From Laboratories Facing A Dying Nation Of Moving Paper Fantasy Listening For The New Told Lies With Supreme Visions Of Lonely Tunes
What Music People Do (Sterophonics Etc.) Is Write A First Album Which Is Extremely Successful; And Then They Write A Second Album Where They Moan About Being Successful.
Grandpa Drunk A Drop Or Two Head Still Stuck In The Port-A-Loo, What A Man
You Don't Realise How Common Something Is Until You Look For It.
I Hate Being Serious. It's So Much Harder To Take The Piss, If You're Already Pissing About.
You Want To Be A Model? The Only Model You'll Ever Be Is The "Before" Model
Quick Wits? Your Wits Couldn't Win A Race At The Snail's Olympics!!
You Yellow Bellied, Pea-Brained, No Good, Cry-Baby, Ugly, Selfish Couldn't Get A Job Screwing On Toothpaste Caps Onto Tubes Of Toothpaste, Stupid, Annoying, Fancy Yourself So Much You Spend Two Hours Every Morning Looking At Yourself In The Mirror, Big-Headed, Slimy Repulsive, GIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stupid, Dozey, Wooden-Brained Plankhead!!!
Do You Enter The Beautician Through The Emergency Exit?
Where Do You Go To Get Your Hair Done? A Hairdressers? Or A Hedge Clippers?
I'd Be Careful About Going To The Zoo. They Might Accidentally Put You In The Gorilla Enclosure.
It's A Shame Your Brain Isn't As Big As Your Gob
As Far As The Laws Of Mathematics Refer To Reality, They Are Not Certain; And As Far As They Are Certain, They Do Not Refer To Reality.
Don't Waste Mental Energy Brooding Over Past Events Or Worrying About The Future. Live A Day At A Time
Within The Child Lies The Fate Of The Future.
The Land Given To Us By Our Ancestors Is But On Loan To Us By Our Children
People Are More Violently Opposed To Fur Than Leather Because It's Safer To Harass Rich Women Than Motorcycle Gangs.
To Stop The Flow Of Music Would Be Like The Stopping Of Time Itself, Incredible, Inconceivable And Devastating.
We Live In A Fantasy World, A World Of Illusion. The Great Task In Life Is To Find Reality
We Are Here And It Is Now. Further Than That All Human Knowledge Is Moonshine.
Imagine All The People Sharing All The World
Too Bad All The People Who Know How To Run The Country Are Busy Driving Taxis And Cutting Hair.
How Can Anyone Govern A Country That Has Two Hundred And Forty-Six Different Kinds Of Cheese?
Our Minds Can Work For Us Or Against Us At Any Given Moment. We Can Learn To Accept And Live With The Natural Psychological Laws That Govern Us, Understanding How To Flow With Life Rather Than Struggle Against It. We Can Return To Our Natural State Of Contentment.
The Man Who Reads Nothing At All Is Better Educated Than The Man Who Reads Nothing But Newspapers.
Whoever Controls The Media Controls The Culture.
Music Is Something People Understand. It's Something Else Because It's Honest, It Sticks Its Neck Out And Says It Straight From The Heart. Sure There's A Lot Of Different Things You Can Get Off On But Music Is More Than That.
Knowledge Is The Small Part Of Ignorance That We Arrange And Classify.
Part Of The Secret Of Success In Life Is To Eat What You Like And Let The Food Fight It Out Inside
Don't Be Afraid To Take A Big Step. You Can't Cross A Chasm In Two Small Jumps.
I Love The Sea, So Beautiful, So Mysterious, So Full Of Fish
Often The Search Proves More Profitable Than The Goal.
Security Is When Everything Is Settled, When Nothing Can Happen To You; Security Is A Denial Of Life.
Happiness Is A By-Product. Trying To Find It Is Like Trying To Find The End Of A Rainbow.
I'm Not Interested In Age. People Who Tell Me Their Age Are Silly. You're As Old As You Feel.
And I Was Just Thinking: As Much As I Really Admire Your Shoes, And As Much As
I'd Love To Have A Pair Just Like Them, I Really Wouldn't Want To Be In Your Shoes At This Particular Time And Place.
I Love To Go Shopping. I Love To Freak Out Salespeople. They Ask Me If They Can Help Me, And I Say, "Have You Got Anything I'd Like?" Then They Ask Me What Size I Need, And I Say, "Extra Medium."
Do What You Fear Most And You Control Fear.
Drama Is Life With The Dull Bits Cut Out.
If Britain Really Wanted To Punish Iraq During The Persian Gulf War, It Should Have Sent 4,000 British Football Fans Instead Of 4,000 British Troops.
I Like A Sporting Event In Which I Know The Outcome Ahead Of Time. It's More Organised.
If You Can React The Same Way To Winning And Losing, That's A Big Accomplishment.
The One Function TV News Performs Very Well Is That When There Is No News They Give It To You With The Same Emphasis As If There Were.
I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book.
It Takes Great Passion And Great Energy To Do Anything Creative, Especially In The Theatre. You Have To Care So Much That You Can't Sleep, You Can't Eat, You Can't Talk To People. It's Just Got To Be Right. You Can't Do It Without That Passion.
If The Only Tool You Have Is A Hammer, You Tend To See Every Problem As A Nail.
One For The Rhythm! Two For The Rhyme! Three For The Feeling! It's Bobsled Time!
The World Is A Book, And Those Who Do Not Travel, Read Only A Page.
You Can Have Any Colour Car So Long As It's Black.
Rainbows Apologise For Angry Skies.
Programming Today Is A Race Between Software Engineers
Striving To Build Bigger And Better Idiot-Proof Programs, And The Universe Trying To Produce Bigger And Better Idiots. So Far, The Universe Is Winning.
Life Is Either A Daring Adventure Or Nothing At All.
Those Of Us Who Refuse To Risk And Grow Get Swallowed Up By Life.
You Can Be Thirty Years Old Or Seventy Years Young. It's Your Choice.
Man Is An Animal Suspended In Webs Of Significance He Himself Has Spun
My Family And I Have Figured Out A Really Good System About The Housework: No One Does It.
No One Ever Injured His Eyesight By Looking On The Bright Side Of Things.
It's Not The Towering Sail But The Unseen Wind That Moves The Ship.
By Working Faithfully Eight Hours A Day You May Eventually Get To Be Boss And Work Twelve Hours A Day.
Why Is My Survival Kit Held Together With Paper Clips?
When You Sit On A Train How Do You Know That The Train, With You In It Is Travelling At 120 Miles An Hour Or The Train, With You In It Is Staying Still And The Earth Outside Is Travelling At 120 Miles An Hour?
I Hate Talking To People Who Make You Feel That You're Walking On Eggshells In Hobnailed Boots That Are Four Sizes Too Big
Dogs Come When They're Called, Cats Take A Message And Get Back To You.
Organic Chemistry Is The Chemistry Of Carbon Compounds. Biochemistry Is The Study Of Carbon Compounds That Crawl.
The Brain Is A Wonderful Organ. It Starts Working When You Get Up In The Morning And Doesn't Stop Until You Get To The Office.
To Err Is Human, But To Really Foul Things Up Requires A Computer.
I Was Going To Have Cosmetic Surgery Until I Noticed That The Doctor's Office Was Full Of Portraits By Picasso.
I May Be A Beginner At Some Things, But I've Got A Black Belt In Shopping!
Things To Remember: 1) The Worth Of Character; 2) The Improvement Of Talent; 3) The Influence Of Example; 4) The Joy Of Origination; 5) The Dignity Of Simplicity; 6) The Success Of Perseverance; 7) The Value Of Time; 8) The Pleasure Of Working; 9) The Obligation Of Duty; 10) The Power Of Kindness; 11) The Wisdom Of Economy; 12) The Virtue Of Patience.
What's Another Word For Thesaurus?
The Dodo Never Had A Chance. He Seems To Have Been Invented For The Sole Purpose Of Becoming Extinct And That Was All He Was Good For.
Critics Are The People Who Have Failed In Literature And Art.
If It Weren't For Philo T. Farnsworth, Inventor Of The Television, We'd Still Be Eating Frozen Radio Dinners.
Yes, I'd Like To Order Some Flowers For My Husband. Yeah, How Much Is The Big "Please Forgive Me" Bouquet? Okay, How 'Bout The Small "Please Get Over It" Bouquet?
Music Washes Away From The Soul The Dust Of Everyday Life.
It's Not Whether You Get Knocked Down, It's Whether You Get Up Again.
Even When Opportunity Knocks, You Still Must Get Out Of Your Chair To Open The Door.
I Have A Hobby. I Have The World's Largest Collection Of Sea Shells. I Keep It Scattered On Beaches All Over The World. Maybe You've Seen Some Of It.
You Cannot Push Anyone Up The Ladder Unless They Are Willing To Climb Himself.
A Verbal Contract Isn't Worth The Paper It's Written On.
The More I Read, The More Questions I Have. Every Time I Pass A Library I Get An Anxiety Attack.
It's A Shame My Brain Can't Keep Up With My Mouth
Love Can Be Defined As A Series Of Electrical Impulses Which Triggers The Release Of Certain Chemicals In The Brain
There's Probably Someone Somewhere In The World At One Time Or Another Who Has Thought That You're Really Lovely
Sometimes I Have Fairly Long Conversations With People Before I Realise That I Haven't Heard A Word That They've Or I've Said
Step In Time
A Spoonful Of Sugar That Is All It Takes, It Changes Bread And Water Into Tea And Cakes
Music's The Only Drug
Flaming Pie
Look For The Girl With The Sausage Of Cups
Wallop The Trollop!!
Slap The Slut!!
Punch The Lunch!!
Kick The Brick!!
Jump On The Rump!!
Fight The Mite!!
There Is No Spoon
Life Is A Horror Movie Starring People You Know
There Is No Such Thing As An Average Person