Well you've done it now haven't you? Clicked the page that leads directly to my self-indulged ramblings. Okay so maybe ALL of the pages on this site are self-indulged ramblings, but this one is even more so...
Why?
Because now I'm going to tell you all about me!
You don't want to know? Oh. Well. I'll tell you anyway! Now shut up and listen. But feel free to ask questions that may lead me to talk about myself even more so than I am already...
My name? Yeah I guess we should start with a name. Well, it's Callie. But my online name is Sorrow (Sorrow Reminisce, Icarus's Sorrow). You can call me either. Hell, call me george if you want, I don't care.
How old am I? Hmm. Well it's approaching my birthday at this point of writing, and I'm beginning to think it's time I start lying about my age. I mean, it wouldn't be hard for people to believe I'm a teenager right? After all, I act like I'm less than a teenager half the time...
Okay fine. I'm 25. Going on 26th.
My birth date? Why do you ask - are you thinking of buying me a present? Excellent! 29/7/77 and uh... I'd really like the last Dark Angel novel to be sent my way, or perhaps... no no, I guess the entire cast of Dark Angel to come to my house and act out Season Three would be too much to ask wouldn't it? *sigh*
Where do I live? Don't you think that's a bit dodgy, giving such details to a stranger? Ah well, there's four or so million people in my country, I'm sure you'll never track me down... I live in the clean green (pfft!) country of New Zealand. Known to some as Middle Earth.
If I stroll to the top of my street I have a nice view of the Auckland Sky Tower. And if I kind of squint and tilt my head a little... then shut my eyes... I can pretend it's the Seattle Space Needle. It looks kinda similar... (Just nod and agree)
If you were to come into my house this very minute, you'd find my boyfriend Jarrod playing playstation and listening to Godsmack, my flatmate John in his room rapping into his mic (He aint too bad at it. Even though I really don't like hip hop. argle argle). My daughter Char at my mum's for the night, my cat Stinky Wizzletooth curled up asleep on my lap, the six other cats (Special Agent Ames, Karma, Cheegar, Badger, PooGirl, Goldburger) lounging about the house, and a lot of unwashed dishes to accompany our messy house.
We're having a Mexican stand-off regarding housework at the moment. I did it last time dudes, it's someone else's turn... (wink wink - a likely excuse)
Most of the time I live in The Broken World
which is my online home. It's a Dark Angel discussion/fan fiction board which I co-admin with my pal Enigma. TBW is a site where Dark Angel's most dedicated fans (of course I'll say that!) congregate. It's also an escape from the offline world for us crazy folk who like to pretend real life is just a strange and scary dream...I come from a long line of selectively bred lunatics. On my mum's side that's a good thing. I mean, loony in a good way. As apposed to the uh, bad way... This lunacy seems to have skipped my sisters and gone straight from mum, to me, to my daughter. Yay! If only it came with magic powers! *cough* Anyway, my dad's side of the family are also basket-cases. But they're of the 'get the fuck away from me you psychopath' variety.
I'm aiming to be the crazy cat lady who children whisper about with trepidation on their way home from school. You know the crazy cat lady right? I'm sure every suburb has at least one... There was one in my street when I was a kid. This old lady with tons of cats. And as my street was a reasonably friendly one, it was that much more easy to detect that there was a crazy cat lady in the area. She rarely ever left the house. She was a witch to be sure...
Yup, the crazy cat lady was my mentor. Though I didn't know it at the time. And one day I'll be like her! Hell, I'm just like her already, cept for the fact that I'm not old!
Shut up kiddies! Stop staring through my windows! YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING AT ME WHEN I SEND MY ARMY OF GARDEN GNOMES OUT AFTER YA!
...yeah. I like to ramble . Can you tell? Give me a break. It's 4am. Anyway, on with the shit...
My hair's been dyed for the last oh gods... since I was 13. At the moment it's dark red. Usually it's black. Though it's gone through the rainbow in the past. Blue, purple, green, yada yada. I used to be completely reckless with my hair. In the good old punky-goth-type days of complete nihilism. I'd chop it, bleach it, hell I even spray painted it a few times.
Once I let a friend talk me into letting her give me a mo-hawk. Unfortunately my boyfriend at the time (somewhat conservative in appearances he was) was aghast and set about dumping me as soon as possible afterwards. Yup. No better way to find out if your partner is with you for looks or personality, than to put them to the test by getting a mohawk.
I'm 5-foot-something-short, eyes are murky-ocean-shit coloured (yes don't forget the shit). What else on the superficial looks side of things? Nose piercing, navel piercing. Pentacle tattoo on my upper left arm. Lots of scars on my left arm from playing with lighters and razors as a messed up teenager.
Personality wise, I'm a moody cow, usually pessimistic about everything, a real joy to be around... Kinda quiet and shy around people I don't know (offline anyway) and around people I do know, I swing from eccentric to apathetic. I'm disinterested in anything regarding 'reality', sarcastic and bitchy when I'm pre-menstrual (or post-menstrual or menstrual... okay let's get off the topic of freakin' periods now...) and if anyone has a negative thing to say about life, it'll be me...
Oh yeah, while I'm listing everything about me that sucks ass... I also have a hell temper. A really nasty tongue when people piss off me or my friends. And I don't merely hold onto grudges, I cling to them for dear life. And never ever let go.
On the flipside, I have this really insane sense of humour. I mean manic humour, not funny humour. I wonder if I'm quite right in the head sometimes. I'm sure other people probably wonder this too.
Okay, let's talk about something positive huh?
I love beaches and forests. Amid my collection of 'stuff' (have I mentioned I have lots of lil knick-knacks?) is a surfboard I've never actually used. One reason being that I can't swim, another being that I'm scared of sharks, deep water, big waves, crabs, fish...
There's beautiful beaches in Auckland. From wild ragged surf beaches to calm 'family' beaches. I refuse to go into the water at calm beaches. I think too much about sharks and crabs and fish. Though I'll go in the water at a surf beach easily enough. See, that way I'm so busy worrying about being dunked by a wave and pulled out to sea, than I forget to stress about sharks and crabs. (That's Callie logic for ya)
When I had a car (currently I have far too many driving fines to consider having a car anytime soon) I used to take my daughter Charlotte to the beach at every possible opportunity. We'd just hang out and gather up shells and stuff. That's the main reason why I can't wait to get another car. Preferably one that's road-legal. *roll eyes*
Char's always had this thing with collecting sticks and stones and leaves and shells... She'll pick up a seemingly dull looking twig and declare it beautiful. Needless to say, we have a large collection of nature's little scraps in jars in Char's room. And well, everywhere. I'm sure they all have names... (she'll be the crazy stone/twig/shell lady some day huh? *wink*)
One of my favourite places in New Zealand (that I've been to anyway) is Whangamata. It's a beautiful scenic seaside town a couple of hours out of Auckland. Some of my earliest memories are of going to Whangamata with my parents. I can remember fishing at the wharf with my dad, and riding in a beach buggy and seeing Bambi at the movies... considering my parents split when I was four, I'm kinda amazed I can remember so many things from back then. Goes to show how beautiful Whangamata is huh?
Interests: Oh that's easy. Dark Angel. Dark Angel fan fiction. Original writing (mainly these random waffles). making websites and message boards at 4am (it's currently 5am now btw). And you know, that's about it. I'm not a leave the house and actually do stuff in the outside world kinda gal. I used to be, believe it or not. Life used to revolve around going out and getting as trashed as humanly possible. But priorities change. Thank dickens.
Sure before becoming a net addict, I had other interests. Gods only know what they were now. Oh fine, I'll name some other favourite things I like. Bugger it. Writers: Anne Rice, Terry Brooks, Anne Borchardt, Fan fic writers: Eternity, Pari106, Northlight, Enigma , ScotJane, Black Rose, Dreamer, BHG, Baloo, Alexis, Northern Star, Roon, Keliam. Music: The Cure, Evanescence, Portishead, Enigma (the band peeps), Deep Forest, Movies: Interview With the Vampire, Matrix, Cube, The Crow TV Shows: Dark Angel, Scrubs.
Okay I'm bored with talking about myself now. How 'bout we talk about you?