1991
Silent screams inside my mind
Tie me down my eyes they bind
Taking over my whole life
With burning hate and twisted lies
Scars upon my arms don�t heal
Shouldn�t that say how I feel?
To cut so deep and cause such pain
Then sleep and wish for death again
~
Believing only what they want to believe
Why can�t they believe in me?
Seeing only what they want to see
Seeing only the worst in me
~
I wish that I could run away
And escape the hate that you display
Do you love to watch me cry?
Or do you not even notice - through your drunken eyes.
~
Cruelty comes in many forms
And you wonder why I look forlorn
Would you miss me if I die?
After all, I am the child you despise.
1997
A blackened heart
Empty and cold
Mine forever
And only mine to hold
I walk in the shadows
Of my own pathetic past
And step into the background
To watch the world pass
I do not belong
In anyone�s life
The scapegoat
For everyone�s strife
This world of mine
Is a lonely one
Sometimes
Josiah 1991
Lowered into darkness
Shattered by the grief
No one left to turn to
It was never meant to be
Forced into the never
Dead to all but dreams
Nothing left to linger
But the vivid memories
What used to be forever
Can never be again
The wounds will never heal
No one can stop the pain
Father
Are you still rooting your offspring
And training them to become emotional wrecks
For later on in life?
Do you rape their minds
While you read them bed time stories
As they lie awake at night?
And promise to give them lollies
If they be good for you tonight
Do you call them your little darlings
While your daughter sits on your lap
And you forget you son�s name
Is your wife still building her world
Of dreams around you
While you stand naked before your children?
Does she try to break away
Or do you keep her enslaved
Within her own make believe?
~
And did anyone ever love me
Or am I the child
That never should have been?
Mother
Leave me alone
She cries but no one listens
I want to consol her
But I don�t know what to say
And so instead I scream
For her to go away
It feels cruel
Pushing her aside
Ignoring the pain
We both feel inside
I wish I could die
I want to end my life
~
Sobbing echoes around the room
A figure deep in sorrow
No one stops to comfort her
She is alone
Mother II
I hate you
For ruining my life
I hate you
And I hope you die
I hate you
For pushing me aside
And for all the times
You stood before me
And cried
~
If you had a conscience
It would rip you apart
For all the times
You broke my heart
(A/N: Sorry mum - I don�t mean those words anymore! But I was in 3rd form and well, feelings change�)
Child
Don�t call me daughter
I�m not your child
You lost my love
When you turned me aside
Don�t call me son
I�m not a man
You always forget
My name
Don�t call me anything
Just run and cry
The way I did
When you died in my eyes
Don�t try to find me
When I hide
Don�t call me daughter
I�m no one�s child
Spiderbaby
Full moon - empty heart
Shattered dreams - broken glass
A silver reflection
Of a breaking heart
And a spider baby
Who will never be apart
Apathetic apologies
Of who I�m never going to be
Baby screams inside of me
Hungry for some empathy
Hush don�t cry
The bad dreams
Might not come tonight
The monster�s bark
Is bigger than it�s bite
The dream catcher�s web
Makes everything alright
1997
Black cold sun
Fails to burn
Sheild my eyes
From no light
Numb and empty
Cold and dead
Joyless shadows
Melancholic dread
Cherished memories
Turn to dust
Laughter echoes
Nefarious intent
~
Black and withered
Cold and dark
- apt description
Of my heart
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