.:: Mon, July 15, 2002 ::.
LET'S MOVE TO ANOTHER PLACE
Yup, gw musti pindah... gw musti say bye to this GEOCITIES.COM/SISCAHERE... somehow, i do not feel very safe here... gw ga berusaha nyalahin sapa2... tapi, gw ga bisa ngebiarin temen2 maen gw baca diary gw... emang sih, isinya bukan apa2, meaningless banget deh!.. tapi tetep aja gw ga bisa... MAAP... im not that extrovert... i could be so introvert sometime...
Gw lagi punya plural feelin' malem ini... 2 perasaan yang bertolak belakang... the ups and downs... dan ini ngga sering2 banget gw alamin... i wonder what's wrong with me... and what's wrong with everyone... start from now....
I dun know what happen with me... gw tiba2 ngrasa lagi di puncak, gw ngrasa lagi dimanja oleh waktu, semua sedang baek2nya ma gw... but i want to stay on the ground.. maksudnya gw ga pengen jadi gimana2 gitu sih... cuman.. yah gw pernah ngalamin ini, dan ketika masa2 ini lewat... gw jadi bingung... gw benci banget ketika orang2 beda perlakuan ke gw, karena misalnya gw jadi jelek, ato gw jadi ndhut... yup, pemikiran gw pendek banget, emang ga semua orang kayak gitu... BUT, HEY... that's the truth... kenyataannya orang2 beda perlakuan ke gw...
RedSpire...
i wonder where he's been now... gw kehilangan kabar tentang dia... telpon, sms,
atopun nongol ke rumah sama sekali engga... well, i miss him a lot... but the
way he treated me, i know that he doesnt need me anymore, he doesnt care about
me... well, i have to get away from this feelin'... i only care about people
who care about me and them who deserves to be cared about... not RedSpire...
he ignored me, and that's enough, this ordinary siesca has a limit...
now listening to THE BRAXTON BROTHERS title NOW AND FOREVER ... and i get that
melancholy feelin' deeper and deeper...
tanpa gw sadari gw nangis... ntah knapa, gw tiba2 ngrasa sedih banget...mungkin terhanyut lagu di atas */me coba tersenyum*... gw sedih buat siapa gw juga ga tau... mungkin sedih ini untuk RedSpire.... mungkin juga untuk kekecewaan gw ke helvyn, mungkin juga buat kehidupan gw akhir2 ini... kesannya gw disodori banyak options dan gw musti pick up salah satu... sedih banget ketika gw ga mau kehilangan semuanya atau kehilangan salah satu dari option2 itu, padahal i have to make a decision... how sad to be like this...
Yup...
kesedihan terdalam adalah keputusan untuk menutup situs ini... for some stupid
reason i closed this site... just because i cant let my friend (not so i trust
friend) read my webdiary... i cant, i need to be alone with this small space...
but they want to take it from me, so i give them THIS... and let me go find
another life....
i've been
loving this site for a long time.... this is the only secure place for me to
hide... and now... i have to lose this site.... i meet new people here, i become
a nicer girl here, and i learn loadsss thing.... i wish i could take another
decision... but i couldnt... i was forced to...
bubye... geocities.com/siscahere... loving you this much...
enough being melancholic for tonite...
jadi, ini adalah cerita terakhir gw.... hari ini akhirnya gw nyari tempat alternatif magang ma temen2...abis tu mampir ke Joglo Dau... sempet ber-rendezvouz ria... trus konsultasi magang ma dosen, dan akhirnya kita fixed kalo besok mulai jalan untuk ngurus magang... soal tempat, kayaknya kita pake yang lama deh... ( << ini salah satu contoh plain life yang gw jalanin, and this is what they're looking for?.... wrong target!!)
musti mengakhiri cerita gw... musti menutup mulut dan lagi2 memendam semua perasaan gw (LAGI)... kehidupan ngeblog bener2 nyenengin buat gw... tapi sayang, gw ga bisa memiliki apa yang gw senengin selamanya.... sebenernya gw bisa mempertahankannya, tapi kali ini gw nyerah.... gw kasih apa yang mereka mau... dan mungkin mereka akan menyesal... ternyata hanyalah beginian yang gw sembunyiin selama ini... Yah... memang cuman segini kemampuan gw... udah ah, jadi sedih banget.....
bubye,
my small space...
bubye, my friends... alaya, andrei, anggun, cilla, DIAN_DREA, fich, mojow, tinem,
udhien, jully, olip, and anyone....
my stories end up here...