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| The Day After Christmas |
| Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone right to my waist. When I got on th escales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber) I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared. The treats, the desserts, the bread and cheese And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please." As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt- I said to myself, as I only can "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!" So-away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid fo the fruit cake, every cracker and chip. Every last bit of good that I like must be banished "Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie-not even a lick. I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore- But isn't that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to a good diet. |
| NOTE: If you know who the author of this piece is, please let me know and I will give credit - at [email protected] |
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