Tom: "Joel, you magnificent bastard! . . ."
Tom: "Why don't you just do it on the bench?"
Crow: "Yeah, boo hoo, we all have problems!"
Crow: "I am the angel of death . . ."
Tom: "Just sellin' drugs to school kids."
Crow: "It was funny, made me laugh, ha!"
Tom: "Gimme my gun back."
Tom: "So, how about a little sugar for happychef over here?"
Tom: "I like jello!"
Joel: "I'll kill someone for ya, who do you want killed?"
Crow: "So, Jimmy, you like your kneecaps?"
All: "Liar, liar, liar!"
Joel: "I lied!"
Joel: "He he, I like songs."
Crow: "Well, aren't I miss popular?"
Joel: "My mom doesn't drink!"
Tom: [Nobody's gonna take you away . . .] "Not even me . . ."
Crow: "I got peanut butter and underwear and that's all I need!"
Crow imitates a duck.
Tom: "I've decided, I'm gonna do something really stupid."
Joel: "Boy, she's really rocking this mother, ouch."
Crow: "Yes, Satan, speak to me through this song."
Joel: "Hi, I have an important thing and some stuff called scag."
Crow: "Let's strip him!"
Tom: "I know how toast works!"
Crow: "Now lemme have that tongue of yours!"
Joel: "It's boss!"
Crow: "Hey, I think your cape is fabulous!"
Crow: ". . . let's make a giant cigar out of her."
Tom: ". . . They're not comic books, they're graphic novels."
Tom: "You idot, we don't even have a doe license."
Crow: "Dear God, he's dull!"
Crow: "Eat it, boy, eat it!"
Tom: "I say, it's foggy!"
Tom: "Joel, isn't this kinda fruity? . . ."
Crow: "You know that hat has a slimming effect on you?"
Joel: "I'm huge!"
Joel: "Why is she limping? . . . "
Crow: "I'm the best looking man in the Middle Ages, my, my, my!"
Crow: "You don't find me repugnant, do you?"
Crow: "God, I love Seinfeld!"
Crow: "Who's that behind the Foster Grants? It's Og!"
Crow: "Hiya, Phil. How's the snake hangin'? . . ."
Joel: "Who is this gentle stranger with pecs like melons . . ."
Joel: "How about a little sugar for Ator over here, huh?"
Crow: "Geez, Tolkien couldn't follow this plot."
Joel: "Tuesdays are human sacrifice days at the Sizzler."
Crow: "What do you, the viewers at home, think?"
The Mads: "What do you want from us? We're evil! Evil!"
Tom: "You do this and I'll call a legion of beanie babies . . ."
Crow: "'Scuse my juicy belches."
Crow: "Remember to believe in magic . . . or I'll kill you."
Mike: "He blamed your weiner."
Tom: "I'm Bob Jackass!"
Crow: "Hit the pavement, ya Celtic fairy!"
Crow: "Chatty Cathy, where ya got to go, baby?"
Jackass: "I chew places like this up and spit them in the toilet!"
Crow: "I'll give you a cookie if you shut up."
Tom: "Yeah, I got a crack this guy can crawl out of!"
Crow: "Merlin was a thieving crackhead who fenced VCRs . . ."
Crow: "What are you doing, Dave?"
Crow: "Dr. Jerkyl and Mr. Crap!"
Crow: "So evil wins, Grandpa Borgnine?" . . .
Crow: "Look at all these Gordita wrappers! . . ."
Tom: "Hi, guy!"
Mike; [Uh oh] "I farted!"
Tom: "Okay, now we're in Hell. It finally happened."
Mike: "Here's something else Satan created, japanamation!"
Mike: "I'm being a jerk, honey!"
Tom: "Let's see her be all tender and tinkly music-y . . ."
Tom: "Well that just lengthens my beard!"
Tom: "I bid you lick me!"
Crow: "See, here's his problem . . . 'Have you seen my little monkey?'"
Mike: "I utterly loathe you! Do you wanna have a baby?"
Mike: "Brought to you by LSD."
Crow: "Well, let's go make love, I guess."
Mike: "Munch my shorts!"
Crow: "I'm going to hit the mystical can."
Crow: "A not unattractive girl? Floor it!"
Mike: "It's Possessy, the clown!"
Crow: ". . . I'm gonna go rip someone's guts out!"
Tom: "Hey, Mike, is that Satan's butt? Oh no, wait, it's that guy's face"
Crow: "Now I gotta send you to Hell!"
Mike: "You insulting my sperm count?"
Tom: "You stupid bastard! I could stab you in the eyes right now . . ."
Mike: "Now, time to die!"
Tom: "You kids get off the grass!"
Tom: "The mystical shop of yum!"
Crow: "The cheeseball's got no freakin' class!"
Mike: [. . . I do this for a living.] "You console European losers?"
Tom: . . . "Try believing in ESL for a while!"
Eurobimbo: "This is absolutely fascinating."
Mike: "Hey everyone, free samples of me!"
Crow: . . . "I've replaced my toes with grapes."
Crow: [I'm not holding back anything!] "Certainly not talent."
Tom: [You're a hustler!] "No, I was in Hustler."
Crow: "I like saying no to you, could you ask me again?"
Crow: "There's just so much litter on the highway!"
Crow: "You know, it's economical not to have a storyline . . ."
Tom: "I couldn't help noticing you weren't having sex with me."
Mike: [. . . doing things!] "Oh no, not things!"
Crow: "Don't open your pants! What're you doing?"
Crow: "Gee, a pig drunk, passed out security guard. Who's surprised?"
Tom: [I don't wanna sound skeptical] "but this is such crap!"
Tom: "I see some really stupid children as the result ot these two . . ."
Crow: [Look, Noel, I'm not superstitious.] "I'm stupid."
Crow: [Yeah! I'll take a walk!] "Over to Kirk Douglas's house!"
Tom: "You wet your pants and ran and that's fine!"
Mike: "He's wonderful!"
Crow: [Wurwulf?] "No, werewolf. Were, say it."
Tom: "Bite my 5 1/4 floppy."
Mike: "We demand that you set up a delicious buffet!"
Mike: "I want more butter on my ham!"
Mike: "I'm as clumsy as a stupid, repulsive anteater!"
Tom: "Man, never show a good movie in the middle ... crappy movie."
Crow: "I seem to have died, is that okay?"
Crow: "Draw . . . me some butter!"
Crow: "Here, I'll show you why they call me 'Frenchy'."
Mike: "I'm going to get a gloc and mow these people down!"
Mike: "How's your homework, honey?"
All: [Here's looking at you, kid] "Here's looking at u-taunt. Here's looking at u-biquitous. Here's looking at U-lysses."
Crow: [. . . not my kind of woman!] *slap* "Well, now you are . . ."
Tom: [Mom, m' I nuts?] "My nuts?"
Tom: "Oh, and I guess PBS means 'Public Boinking System', huh?"
Crow: [Genius, pure genius!] "Couldn't save this film."
Tom: "You must remember this, this movie really sucks!"
Tom: "Well, I'm actually 'size-doesn't-matter boy'."
Crow: "Kiss off, slappy!"
Tom: [I'm so bored!] "Okay, which one of us said that?"
Crow: "Hooray for socks!"
Crow: "Sucked. Let's go with that word, movie."
Mike: "This is sexual harrassment and I'm gonna take it!"
Crow: "I'm requesting movie jump up my butt!"
Crow: "You know you want me, baby!"
Crow: "Dr. Who . . . the hell cares?"
Joel: "Let's grab the picinic baskets and scram, Boo Boo!"
Crow: "Don't touch him there!"
Crow: "Hey, does he look dorky enough?"
Joel: "Faruk Alatan? I went to school with Faruk Alatan!"
Joel: "Uh, football practice!"
Tom: "Oh, forget this, I'm gettin' outta here!"
Crow: "Hey, what is it about the gates of Hell . . ."
Joel: "If ya can't find 'em, grind 'em, right? . . ."
All: "Huzzah!"
Joel: [Lay off, will ya, mack?] "Just lay off!"
Tom: "Hmmm, what pretentious crap!"
Tom: "Tommy, now you quit warping time and space this instant!"
Joel: "Name like Smuckers raspberry preserves, you know it's good!"
Crow: "Yeah, whatever!"
Tom: [You know what my kids would say] "You're not my real father!"
Tom: "Hey, I'm experiencing a sensation altogether new to me . . ."
Crow: "Oh Carl!" Tom: "Uh, Cal." Crow: "Oh Cal!"
Dr. Forrester: "Ah, oh poopie!"
[Ah, good flight, Cal . . .] Crow: "Dickweed!" Tom: "Jackoff!"
Mike: "There goes a stupid, stupid man!"
Tom: "You've got mail . . . pattern baldness!"
Mike: [Where the hell am I?] "You're the hell here."
Crow: "Oh, the hell with him!"
Tom: "Can I just remind you to bite me?"
Tom: "Oh my God! AAAARGH!"
Tom laughs maniacally
Mike: "How's that fit ya, fancypants?"
Tom: "There's something you don't see . . . a farmer with all his limbs!"
Tom: "I love you, Earl!" Crow: "Not here, Tom!"
Crow: "Soylent Green is made from people!"
Crow: [. . . he think I am, an acrobat?] "And she's an acrobat, Ted!"
Tom: "But I'm not a salesman! I'm the chubby blue line!"
Frank: "Oh bite me. It's fun!"
Crow: "Enjoy the balloon!"
Crow: "I'm Debby!"
Mike: "People showing up places. Your movie, ladies and gentleman."
Crow: "Man, that guy's got a small face!"
Crow: "Ooh, that took my soul, right there!"
Tom: "Those baloons cheer me up."
Mike: "This is your brain on death. Any questions?"
Tom: "Bustaker!"
Tom: "Ugh, Mike, I'm getting carsick!" . . .
Crow: "God, he's a catcher's mitt with eyes!"
Tom: [It's closing time!] Does that mean that every new beginning . . ."
Tom: "Hey, hey! Don't compare yourself, Mike. It ain't healthy."
Crow: "Eww, I instantly need counseling!"
Crow: "You know, it's just not death with dignity . . ."
Tom: [I have a surprise for you!] "I don't have a weiner!"
Crow: "America's most beloved drug retailer was killed today."
Tom: [I don't think they're gonna fry your *** for doing . . . ] "Eggs?"
Mike: "Everybody fest!"
Crow: "Gypsy, you gotta have eyewash, that big ass eye of yours." . . .
Crow: "Father Dude!"
Tom: "I call it Gastaker!"
Mike: "Ah, that bites. You wanna get baked?"
Tom: "You're a girl and stuff!"
Tom: [God help me!] "There is no God, there's just Dude!"
Mike: "Chick harshes my buzz, dude!"
Joel: "Hey, hiya Gypsy!" Gypsy: "Bite me!"
Mike: "You didn't know I could get jiggy with it, did you?"
Gypsy: "Yeah, jump up my tube, white boy!"
Tom: "Keep Out? Foiled again!"
Tom: "Leak taker!"
Mike: "I proclaim it 'Lick Me Day'!"
Mike: "Man, is there even a name for Mom's little sickness here?" . . .
Tom: "You're lower class and stupid. I understand."
Tom: [What time? . . .] "Ooh, can't. Gonna be a lunch taker, then."
Crow: "A huge mannish turtle! Oh no, it's you, Mom."
Tom: "The other side of the mountain . . . of crap!"
Gypsy: "Yeah, munch on this!"
Crow: "Can't be careful, name it after me, man!"
Crow: "Does anything really 'star' Joe Estevez? Isn't that kind of an . . ."
Tom: "We are planning to rock."
Crow: "Stupid poor kid! Uh, nothing, nothing!"
Tom: "Pull my finger!"
Tom: "This man's recently been rocking!"
Crow: "So a seven iron knocks him cold, but a gun does nothin'!"
Tom: "The Sooooooultaker!"
Crow: "Souptaper? What?" Mike: "Let it get a little closer."
Mike: "Music to spin donuts by!"
Tom: "She's turning around!" . . . "No, I said 'she's spurning a clown'!"
Crow: "Wow, this is terrific action here! These ants . . ."
Tom: [What did you do to her?] "I toasted her ass!"
Crow: "Don't tongue the reaper!"
Crow: "But she's upper middle class and we're slightly lower middle!"
Crow: [You're beautiful!] "Yep, she did write this."
Crow: (Laughs maniacally) "You're it!"
Mike: [What?] "Hey, look, you wrote this crap!"