“I Can’t Afford to be Depressed”

find the frustration pouring over
the painted rainbows in your head
like a little lost star flickering from afar
I remember what I used to long for
it isn’t all happy bubbles and romantic serenades
not anymore, since my face turned gray
I zip up my sweater and walk into
the windchill, to fight the constant
war in my brain
easily lost, though never won
the walls won’t crumble for an army of one
seeking a resolution in nightmares
where the characters like to burn
supernatural or robotic
they die the same way
the smarties say these thoughts equate
to depression, but I say they
merely are paving the way
what do you say?
And how much does it matter
what anyone says anyway?
   --feb 8, 2003